Bear, page 13
Gah, she wanted him to kiss her.
“Happy New Year, little momma,” he murmured. She felt his breath on her temple before he brushed his lips there. Then, he pulled away.
He. Pulled. Away.
No. Just no. She turned to him quickly and fisted his shirt, stopping him from retreating further. Her gaze bounced between each of his eyes. Did she look as wild as she felt? God, she hoped desperation wasn’t leaking out of her, but in this moment there was nothing more she needed than his mouth on hers.
Swallowing, she leaned in, and he watched her. Waited.
Her breath became shallow as she searched for a sign she shouldn’t do this. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew it was a bad idea, that there was a reason she’d avoided kissing this man, but, right now, it didn’t come to her. If it was illogical, she really didn’t give a crap.
Without giving herself a chance to change her mind, she leaned in and brushed her lips ever so slightly against his.
His lips parted, and she eased back to lick her lips. Either he did the same thing or he purposefully slipped his tongue out because their tips touched feather light.
It was enough to make him snap. Teddy clutched her hair and pulled her against him, taking her mouth in a heated kiss. His tongue dove into her mouth on a rumbled groan. Roxie swallowed the manly sound and gave him a passionate one of her own.
This. This right here was something she’d crave for the rest of her life.
Her hands trailed up his chest and around his neck, but she wasn’t close enough. She needed to feel him everywhere. Swinging a leg over his lap, she climbed onto to him and settled her core against his hard cock. Jeez, it was like steel. Had he been hard the entire night?
She rocked against him, and he dropped one hand from her hair to grab her bottom. He squeezed her cheek and urged her to grind against him harder.
He could have whatever he wanted as long as he didn’t stop kissing her.
It was nothing like she’d remembered. The hot cavern of his mouth, his tongue undulating against hers, his teeth nipping at her lips, it was all perfection.
When her lungs began to burn from lack of oxygen, she pulled back, sucking in a large breath.
“Fuck, why do you taste like strawberries?”
“The wine.”
He slammed his mouth on top of hers again and kissed her like breathing was overrated. When she gasped again, he said, “Not the wine. It’s you. All you.”
They made out like that, kissing and breathing only when necessary. Her hips moved faster of their own accord, but Teddy didn’t seem to mind at all. He just encouraged her to keep whatever pace she wanted. If she’d been in a skirt, she would’ve already pulled her panties aside and sank onto him.
“Teddy,” she moaned.
“I know, babe. Me, too. Fuck, me, too.”
She reached for the snap of his jeans when a little cry came from the bassinet. Roxie’s gaze flew to Xander, and Teddy leaned over to rock him while keeping one hand on her ass, locking her in place.
The baby sucked in a tiny breath and screamed.
Teddy half laughed, half groaned when Roxie climbed off him and bent over the portable cradle.
“Hey, little man,” she cooed.
Xander wasn’t having any of it. She scooped him up and began bouncing him around as she walked the length of the living room.
“I’ll warm him a bottle,” Teddy said, placing a hand on her back as he passed by.
While he did that, she worked quickly to change his diaper. As she wrapped the new one on him, she said playfully, “Your momma’s gonna tan your hide when I tell her what you interrupted. Yes, she is. Oh, yes, she is.”
As she picked him back up, Teddy came into the room with Xander’s midnight snack. The baby rooted on the bottle and sucked it in quickly.
Teddy stood right against her and stroked Xander’s head as she cradled it.
“I’m gonna move his sleeper into the room you use for storage since it’s beside the master.”
In that room, she had boxed holiday decorations, Chad’s old toys, and a few dusty pieces of exercise equipment she’d found at yard sales thinking she’d make good use of them, and she had. They were great for hanging some of her old sweaters on.
As he moved the portable crib into the spare bedroom, she continued to sway with Xander in her arms as he fed. When his eyes drooped and his precious little chin began to quiver without really suckling, she eased the bottle out and burped him. Another ten more minutes of swaying and then he was sleeping soundly in his bed.
Her lamp was on in her bedroom, and she stood in the doorway, looking at a half-naked Teddy reclining on her bed. He was almost too big for it, but he looked damn good wrapped up in her sheets.
“What happened to your clothes?”
He nodded to the corner chair. “They want yours on top of them.”
Roxie smirked as she walked toward him. “I guess that can be arranged.” She slowly lifted her top, revealing a thin black bra underneath.
A sound rumbled out of him as he licked his lips. His need for her was intoxicating, and she couldn’t wait to lose all her inhibitions with him.
Her pants were next, but when she stepped toward him, he shook his head. “All of it.”
“Do you still have your underwear on?” she asked, quirking a brow. He lifted the sheet to reveal his long, thick cock. “Mmm.” Okay, then. She whipped the rest of her clothes off and climbed onto the bed. The moment her knee touched the mattress, he grabbed her and rolled her underneath him.
“Hey, little momma.” His mouth slammed down onto her before she could say anything. They kissed and kissed like Xander hadn’t interrupted them before. Only now, they were skin to skin.
She liked this so much more.
When Teddy slipped his finger between her legs, he found her wet and ready for him. She’d been ready. Hell, she’d been on a hair-trigger for this man for years. He clutched her thigh and hooked her knee on his hip.
“Can’t wait,” she gasped.
“No more waiting.” He reached over and grabbed a condom from her nightstand that she hadn’t seen.
Her head fell back on a moan as he pushed into her, but he wasn’t having that. He fastened his mouth to hers again, fucking it with his tongue as he did her pussy with his dick. He filled her up everywhere, and she wanted more. She wanted all of him. He shifted so that his groin rubbed against her clit, and she felt the telltale tingles in her core.
“Roxie,” he whispered when he took a breath, probably feeling her muscles gripping him as she got close.
“Don’t stop.”
His mouth found hers again, probably making up for lost kisses, but he kept the same rhythm, the same pressure right where she desperately needed it.
She gasped, ripping her head away as stars exploded behind her eyes. His answering groan told her he followed her right over the edge.
Time stood still as he kissed and caressed her, and only when she felt sleep begin to envelop her, did he get up to take care of the condom.
When he came back into the room, he hesitated, and she knew it was because of the last time they’d been intimate. Swallowing down her worry, she lifted the blanket in invitation. He slipped back into bed and pulled her into his arms. God, why did he feel so right? She hated her insecurities, but the past had bitten her.
“Don’t push me away this time,” she whispered into his chest.
“Babe, all I did was give you space. I’ve been waiting for you to be ready.”
She wasn’t talking about Halloween night, but he didn’t understand that. Maybe it was finally time to let go of what had happened after she’d taken him home from the bar and truly embrace how he made her feel.
Snuggling closer to him, she said, “There’s something I need to tell you.” I love you. Please don’t break my heart. I’ve loved you for a really long time, and when you asked me to marry you, I wanted it to be real. I want us to be real.
“What’s that?” he asked sleepily.
“Happy New Year.”
Chapter Eighteen
For the first month after New Year’s, Bear spent more time in Roxie’s bed than out. After Chad went to bed, Bear would sneak into her room, have his way with her, and slip back onto the couch before the boy woke up. He should feel silly doing all this sneaking around, but Roxie wasn’t ready to be open in front of Chad, and he respected her decision when it came to her son. Hell, there was a small part of him that enjoyed the thrill.
By the second month, he’d slowly moved his clothes into her bedroom closet. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been inside the camper. It had to have been before Valentine’s Day, but he’d taken his time bringing his stuff in. A shirt here. A pair of jeans there. His Roxie was sassy as all get out, but she was also skittish as hell when it came to their relationship.
Honestly, he didn’t blame her. When Colonel had been alive Bear’s response to her had switched from hot to cold, seemingly without warning. He’d wanted her, no doubt about it, but his boss had known how to temper his ardor by voicing the danger she’d be in by being associated with a mercenary. By the time that man’s treachery had been discovered, Roxie had gotten tired of Bear’s bullshit. They’d been in a sort of cool-to-warm stasis for a couple of years before the explosion at the shop. Oh, she’d flirt with him plenty, but whenever he’d called her bluff, so to speak, she’d immediately backed off.
“How long do you think they’ll be out shopping?” Brody asked, kicking his feet up on the deck railing and dropping the baby monitor beside him. “Thinking about grilling some steak later.”
Bear chuckled as he sipped his beer. “I don’t even understand what a garter emergency is.”
“Apparently it’s some serious shit. Blade called me freaking out because Anna’s freaking out, which made Xan freak out.” He shook his head. “But I think the garter belt she ordered to go under her dress is the wrong shade of white.”
“Dude, how many colors does white come in?”
Brody lifted his hands. “Ya got me, but I remember Xan turning into a bride beast before our wedding. A lot of women go through that, I hear. I think there’s something they put in the wine at those bachelorette parties that makes them go crazy leading up to the ceremony.” He wiped a hand down his face. “Blade’s been dealing with one crisis after another since they got there earlier this week. I just hope the girls find the one Anna wants.”
Resting his elbows on his knees, Bear asked, “What time do you want to head out in the morning?”
“’Bout seven. That’ll get us there around lunchtime. Hopefully, Xander will sleep on the ride to the lodge.”
Blade and Anna were getting married on his family’s estate. They had a booming gator hunting business, complete with a main lodge and cabins throughout, on a massive piece of property in northern Louisiana. After much back and forth, Blade’s mom had eventually talked the couple into having the ceremony there, reserving all their rooms for traveling guests.
“You and Roxie still planning on sharing a room together?”
Bear nodded. “I just gotta keep her from trying to pack Chad in an overnight bag.”
Brody laughed. “The boys don’t wanna miss class pictures at school. They’ll be fine with Oz for a couple of days.”
Bear cocked an eyebrow. “You think I’m joking? She got out the measuring tape, assessed the size of her largest bag, and then measured her son while I was sitting right there on the couch.”
Brody shook his head and ran a hand through his shaggy blond hair. “Next year’s gonna be tough on Xan and Roxie. Those boys have been the center of their worlds since the day they were born.”
“If they make the college football team, they’ll be gone in four months.” Bear sighed. “I’m worried Roxie’s going to retreat into herself.”
Brody’s eyes popped. “What? That doesn’t sound like her. She’s a no-nonsense, in-your-face type of woman.”
“Yeah.” He smiled briefly. “But that’s only because her heart is right on her sleeve for all the world to see. She’s gotta protect it somehow.” Silence descended on their conversation, and Bear gazed out into Brody’s backyard. “She’s been important to me for a long time now. It’s surreal we’re finally exploring things.”
Brody clapped him on the back. “Falling in love is fucking scary.”
Did his asshole just pucker when his friend had uttered the L word? It sure felt like it did. When he thought of that, or even just romance, he couldn’t help but think of his parents’ screwed-up relationship. They’d never gotten along, and it had affected Bear more than he liked to admit. He’d never really seen himself getting serious with a woman. He’d date them…fuck them…but not wish for anything more. Whenever he’d start something new, he’d been clear about his intentions from the very beginning, not wanting there to be any misunderstanding. But when he’d met Roxie and felt that initial attraction, his ingrained instinct to distance himself emotionally hadn’t even registered. At first, he’d figured it was because her son had been their icebreaker, but over time, he’d learned the truth. He didn’t want anything to hinder what could become of them. However then, he’d let his boss warn him off anyway. Several times.
“What I feel for her is deep,” he finally concedes.
His friend chuckled. “Yeah, man, we all fight it in the beginning, but once you start falling, you can’t stop.”
“Maybe you’re right. I don’t fucking know.” He’d been in an emotional tailspin ever since he’d seen her in that grocery store parking lot.
“I hate to break it to you, but you finished that tumble a long time ago. Should’ve never let Colonel put a stop to it.”
Bear gritted his teeth, knowing Brody was right but suddenly feeling defensive all the same. “He was our boss. We trusted him, and he was right about one thing at least. Having a girlfriend, wife, whatever, could be deadly for a mercenary. I couldn’t afford the distraction, and I sure as fuck didn’t want to be the cause of her getting hurt.”
“Yet, she’s had a madman stalking her for nearly twenty years. That’s pretty fucked, considering you never thought you were good enough for her, not really.” When Bear opened his mouth to argue, Brody shook his head. “No, listen. I get it. None of us are good enough for our women. Not one. It doesn’t stop them from loving us back, though. If we’re willing to sacrifice anything for them, give them anything they want in life, anything, why do we always hesitate to give ourselves over to them?”
The air whooshed out of Bear’s lungs. “Don’t know, man.”
“Think about it. The moment that car blew at the shop and you discovered she was in danger, you wanted to tie yourself to her permanently. Do you think that maybe you jumped at that chance because you’ve been dying a little inside not being with her all these years, and you latched onto the first opportunity?”
He hadn’t thought about it like that. The way Brody phrased it was too romantic and not at all what he’d really feared. “No. I’m worried because, to make her mine, I’ll have to sweep her off her feet, which I’ll surely fuck up. I wouldn’t even know how to go about doing something like that. I didn’t have the greatest role models when it came to lo—relationships.” Jesus, he couldn’t even think the word.
“This shit doesn’t come with a manual. Hell, if it did, the dude who wrote it would be rolling in dough.”
Bear’s lip twitched. “Doesn’t make it any easier.”
Brody leaned back. “Look, I know the shit you went through to protect your father. I know Colonel held it over your head for a long damn time. He blackmailed, bribed, coerced, did whatever fucked-up thing he could to create this team, but out of all of us, you were the youngest. You were here first. He fucked with your mind the longest, man. At some point, you gotta let all the shit from your past go and embrace the future.”
“What do you think that future looks like?”
Xander’s cry came through the monitor, and Brody busted out laughing at what Bear knew was his horrified look. “The baby has spoken.”
Bear rubbed his head. Was he breaking out in hives? It felt like he was suddenly covered in them. “Don’t know the first thing about babies. I meant, our future as a team.” Besides Bear, they were all either settled down or on the fast track to getting that way.
Brody stood and grabbed the monitor. “It’s whatever we want it to be, and that’s a beautiful fucking thing, man. A beautiful fucking thing.” He opened the back door, and as Xander wailed again, he said, “But glove up just in case.”
Following Brody back into the house, he tossed their empty cans. When his buddy brought the baby into the kitchen, Bear watched as he easily held his wiggly burden while fishing out a bottle. “Need some help?”
“Nope. Got it.” And he did. He had the bottle heated and the tiny boy calmed with practiced ease. As he fed the baby, he took some steaks out of the fridge and set them on the counter.
Brody’s phone rang, and he voice-activated it. “Hey, baby.”
“The wedding can officially go on. We found the garter,” Xan said, and it sounded like she was in the car. The relief in her voice was proof of how seriously the girls had taken the matter.
“Tell him you made me try it on, you hussy. I think that’s bad luck,” Roxie said in the background.
“I just had a baby. Your thighs are thinner.”
“Whatever. If this curses the wedding, Anna’s gonna cancel my birth certificate, and I’m telling you right now, I’m taking you to Hades with me.”
Bear chuckled at Roxie’s threat.
“I got some steaks resting, so don’t stop for junk food,” Brody said.
Neither Xan nor Roxie responded, and Bear wiped his face to keep from smiling at their silence.
Brody sighed. “More junk food. Don’t stop for any more.”
“Did you get any pictures of Roxie trying on the garter?” Bear asked.
“Hell, no,” Roxie barked. “Don’t need any evidence of that crime.”
“That’s too bad.” Brody said, shaking his head.
