Quantum State, page 14
My brows must have darted upward as my forehead squishes in confusion. “Sister? How?”
“My papa had an affair with the wife of—”
I finish for him, “—the prison guard.” I know the story. The old man who gave me food when I was incarcerated. The one who had a revenge streak aimed straight for the Kuznetsov family.
“You must keep it quiet. It's a family secret and only our two families and MAQS know,” Kazimir warns.
“Of course,” I say, feeling betrayed already by him. “And now you're going to turn me into MAQS?” I conclude, because Kazimir is a lot of things, but disloyal to the system isn't one of them.
I stare at him hard as he watches me, his eyes flickering to Esfir and then back to me like he has too many thoughts competing for space in his loyal brain.
Then, he surprises me. “No.”
“No?”
His whisper is almost inaudible. “I'm going to get the key from KLI for you and give it to you tomorrow. More specifically, Inna will give it to you during Pod class.”
“Why? Why would you do that for me?” I whisper in return and can barely see his expression in all this darkness, except for the periodic light shards cast by the moon.
His lips touch my ears. “Because if I don't, then you'll end up behind bars. Because I see that you have to do this, that you'll never give up, and you will never be mine, truly mine, until you do. I want you to stay for me, not because you have to. If you don't do this, you'll always wonder it and we'll never have a true chance at happiness.”
I'm almost speechless by his gift to me, his sacrifice, his betrayal to MAQS. If he's caught, he'll face jail time and expulsion from his duty as a Keeper. All of this…for me. I keep my voice very low. “Then, I'll see the key tomorrow?” is all I can muster, because I don't want my emotions to get the better of me, especially in front of Esfir.
“Yes,” Kazimir finishes as his hushed tone finishes, “but you two must go now before the bot patrols return. I can only protect you for so long.”
On the way home, Esfir doesn't say much, and I imagine he's absorbing everything just as I am. Our hands brush each other's as we walk side by side in a brisk walk back, and I want to tell him everything I'm feeling. How conflicted I am about so many things. About Kazimir, about breaking in and leaving. But I can't, so I keep it in.
At his Pod, we are about to part ways.
“Kazimir seems to really care about you.” Esfir confirms what I've already known.
“Yeah.” I shrug, unsure of Esfir's emotions on the matter.
Esfir scratches his head. “I mean, to risk so much so that you can break into town hall.”
“Well, he hasn't done anything yet,” I hedge. “Let's not get ahead of ourselves.”
“Still.”
“For all I know, Kazimir could be setting me up for a trap with MAQS. Who knows?”
Esfir half-smiles. “Who knew Inna and Kazimir were siblings?”
“Yeah, shocking.” I chuckle halfheartedly. “If Papa only knew the scandal. Maybe he wouldn't be so eager for me to marry him.”
State of Rebellion
By morning, I am almost not bothered by the fact that I only have three days to confront MAQS and stop this system before I'm wedded off to Kazimir. Not that this would be a horrible thing. He's proven himself again and again to me that he cares for me, that he cares for me maybe even more than he cares for this system, for his duty. But I can't let his feelings for me persuade me off course. I was born to escape, to finish what Mama couldn't, and figure out the truth—and that is exactly what I am going to do.
After a quick warm shower and a breakfast of waffles, I head to Pod. In literature class, I'm surprised to see Darya in class. She has a small bump on her forehead and is diligently writing her literature assignment, completely ignoring me. Anna doesn't seem bothered by her or me, and I figure Darya hasn't told her anything about last night, but I keep my eyes on Darya just in case, because if last night taught me anything, it is that she is more dangerous than I could have guessed.
Class goes by slowly, with me glancing at my assignment, and then at Anna and Darya, and then back to my paper. We aren't paired up today and I'm glad for it, because I don't want to have to talk to Darya. I wait for the horn to dismiss me for lunch, and I'm anxious to find out from Inna what happened to Darya after I left last night. I don't have to wait long. Inna is the first friend to join me at my usual spot.
“Inna,” I call to her as she plops down beside me.
Her voice is still low. “I can't have anyone knowing about me and…Kazimir. There'd be too much gossip. Besides, Mama and I agreed to not tell anyone a long time ago. It's just easier that way…with her husband and everything.”
“I won't say anything,” I affirm in an equally low tone and then eat my cheese sandwich. Processed from almonds and other nuts, the bots provide cheese and almond milk regularly to everyone in Cherni.
“Thank you.” Inna squeezes closer to me, and I realize this is the most I've ever talked to her—ever.
“So, is your bro…Kazimir, looking forward to the wedding?” I ask, my voice a half quiver.
Inna nods while eating her honey-nut sandwich. “Yeah, he is, but he wants you to be comfortable about it too.” She takes another bite before finishing. “He really likes you.”
I'm not sure what to say to that, and so I just blurt out everything. “I…I don't know what to do about that. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to say I like him too, or if I'm even excited about our future life together? I don't know what I'm feeling about all of this, and everything is just very confusing right now.”
Inna doesn't judge me with her eyes, or make that sigh, the one that means disappointment. She just listens. And then she gives me the best advice. “Just forget everyone, all of Cherni—heck, all of the world—and just…just feel. Just be you. Follow your own heart.”
I smile, wishing I'd found her months ago. For a young girl, at least a couple years younger than me, she is certainly wise. “I'll try.” I clear my throat, ready to ask her. “So, what happened to Darya after I left last night?”
“Oh, Darya.” Inna rolls her eyes.” She woke up in my house on the sofa. I gave her a tea and a warm towel for her head. She asked who clucked her. I told her it was Kazimir.” Inna rolls her eyes again in an exaggerated laugh. “She didn't believe me.” Then her lips form a serious line. “So, I let Kazimir in, since he was waiting outside to see how she was.” Inna's eyes widen. “When Kazimir walked into the room, you should have seen Darya. She got so embarrassed and flung herself off of the sofa and tried fixing her hair.”
I chuckle before Inna continues.
“Then, Kazimir explained to her how he appreciated her protective nature of the system, of Keepers, of him. But that he has everything under control and that you weren't violating any agreements between them. That he was meeting you and Esfir at town hall and that you had permission to be out so late. He promised he would not report her violation of curfew to MAQS if she would stop following you.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, so Darya agreed. Heck, how could she say no to her Kazimir?” Inna rolls her eyes again. “And then Kazimir left and I nursed Darya back to health before walking her to her home.”
“And her parents didn't notice her gone?”
“Like you, Darya uses her bedroom window. Her parents were already in bed.”
I blush. “Oh.”
Inna knows I sneak out of my window? I guess she would, if she's been following me all this time. It's weird. I feel violated, but not mad at her, because in the end, she and her half-brother protected me from what could have turned out very badly.
Then, Inna tucks a key into my palm. “Here, take this and hide it under your tunic.”
I glance at the key, the one Mama hid for me inside the pots. My palm grips around the key tightly, and I slip the string—tied through the keyhole—around my neck before letting the key dangle between my body and tunic. I'm careful to tuck the string under the short collar and frame of the tunic.
“How did you get the key so fast?”
Inna whispers, “Kazimir went into town hall before checking on Darya. It was very late, but Keepers are allowed inside town hall at any hour. He shut off the cameras first, and then went into the main hall. KLI was pacing the corridor when Kazimir approached him from behind and used a surge baton on him. One tap to his spine and KLI short-circuited. Taking the key from the chain around his wrist was easy. Then, Kazimir met me at my home, gave me the key, and made sure Darya was alright.”
“Won't MAQS get suspicious when KLI goes offline?”
“Short-term glitches to the online system aren't considered emergency situations, but prolonged periods—for more than five minutes—offline will alert MAQS. Fortunately, the surge baton only knocks out bots momentarily. KLI regained online service three minutes later. Not enough to alarm MAQS.” Inna shakes her head. “I only know all of this because Kazimir is a Keeper and they are given manuals on all this stuff when they are assigned their duty.”
I touch the key, my fingers caressing the thick material. “And when KLI and MAQS realize the key is missing?”
Inna grins, a glimmer in her eyes reminding me of Kazimir. “There is nothing to trace the missing key to Kazimir. Cameras were off, he wore gloves, and he was out of there before KLI woke up.”
“Good thing Kazimir is a Keeper.”
“Yeah, which is why he didn't want you and Esfir breaking into town hall. The two of you had no idea what you were doing, and would have been taken down by KLI in seconds. Not to mention, the outside patrol bots would have been alerted. You'd be in jail this morning if Kazimir hadn't stopped you last night.”
“You're right.” I can't argue with her. Esfir and I had no idea what we were walking into. Kazimir did save us. I owe him my life, really.
She hands me a folded-up paper. “And Masha, take this map.”
I unfold it as I ask, “What is it?”
“It is a drawing of town hall, of where KLI will be guarding and when tonight.”
“Thanks.”
Inna shakes her head. “Don't thank me, thank Kazimir. He drew it.” She takes my hand. “Just be careful. If you follow the map, you should have no trouble getting to the back door, which will lead you underground to where MAQS is.”
“You know about the underground? About why we're going?”
Inna shrugs in a grin, her mouth rolling up into her puffy cheeks. “My big brother can't keep any secrets from me.”
My lips and cheeks tense, maybe from the cold air or maybe from my anxiety. “What about the cameras?”
“Don't worry. Kazimir will have them turned off at 8:00 p.m. If you take longer than five minutes getting through the back door, then the cameras will go back on. He doesn't want to alarm MAQS.”
My hand clasps hers. “If that happens?”
“Then the two of you need to hide somewhere the cameras are not and find a way out before KLI sees you.” My body shakes, and I even feel the food in my stomach churning in a nauseating way. Then, Inna holds my shoulder. “Don't worry. It'll all be fine. Just remember to meet Esfir at Pod and then head home for dinner. Don't do anything different from your normal routine. Then, head out your window at 7:30 p.m. Make your way to town hall by 8:00 p.m. so you're there by curfew. The side door will be left open for you, as it shows on the map.” She taps the paper in my hands. “Just follow the directions on the map and you'll avoid the cameras and get to the back door where you'll use the key.”
I scratch my head. “But won't MAQS have more guards tonight? The key was stolen last night. She must know someone in Cherni is planning to break in soon?”
“There will be more guards. That's why you must follow the directions on the map. Kazimir has it all mapped out for you so that you can avoid KLI and all the extra guards.”
I nod, and at the sound of a high-pitched voice, I glance up to see Anna skirt around the corner with Darya at her tail and Vera last in line. The three sit around me and Inna in a semi-circle.
“So, how are things in wedding land?” Anna jests, but this time Darya doesn't join in on the antics. Even Vera is surprised.
“Good, I guess.” I turn to Inna and smile. “We've figured things out.”
“Good,” Anna adds, “that's what I like to hear. And I'd better be invited to this wedding!”
“Definitely, I'm not leaving any of you off the invite list.” I try to keep us cordial.
Gardening class moves in slow motion, with me feeling the educatebot's beady red eyes on me the entire time. I'm probably being paranoid because I'm anxious about the key wrapped around my neck, about needing to meet Esfir after Pod and finally sneaking into the underground, below town hall. I don't know what makes me more nervous, the idea of breaking so many laws, or the idea of coming face to face with MAQS.
When the last horn dismisses me from class for the day, I race toward Romanov Pod where I find Esfir patiently waiting for me as usual near our favorite birch tree. He's got the map we found inside of the Cylindrical in one hand and a surge baton in the other.
“Where'd you get that?!”
Esfir whispers, “Kazimir dropped it off when I left Pod a few minutes ago.”
“You mean he was just here?”
“Yeah,” Esfir says firmly. “He said he wanted to make sure you were safe.” He tucks the surge baton into his backpack. “But I'm going to have to keep it out of sight for now.”
I hand Esfir the map that Inna gave me at lunch. “We need to review this.” I let the string around my neck rub between my forefinger and middle finger. “And I've got this.”
Esfir smiles, the dimple in his cheek bunching, and then he glances at Kazimir's map. He guides me, as we walk up toward the Cylindrical, the one place in Cherni where we feel most safe to speak our minds freely.
Under the largest birch tree, Esfir continues, “I'll meet you at your place at 7:30 p.m. and then we'll head to town hall together.”
“Are you sure? That's a lot of backtracking for you.”
Esfir breathes heavily. “I need to know you're okay if we're going to do this.”
I look down. “Okay.”
“The map puts us at the back door at 8:00 p.m. and then inside the bathroom at 8:04 p.m. Cameras will be disengaged for four and half minutes in this side hall. We find a change of clothes in the wastebasket, and wait until the first round of guards passes.”
“Will they be bots or Keepers?”
Esfir shrugs. “Don't know, probably both. At 8:15 p.m., we head down the hall in disguise as Keepers, making a left at the end where we'll be heading toward a perpendicular corridor where KLI will be pacing. Before getting there, we detour into the second bathroom. At 8:20 p.m. a second round of guards passes. At 8:25, we head down the hall to the last bathroom at the end, right before turning the corner to face KLI. At 8:29, we exit the second bathroom, and head down the perpendicular corridor. KLI will be there, and cameras will go off again for four and a half minutes at 8:30. MAQS won't be alerted to any problems unless the outage hits five minutes, so we just need to be done by then. We'll keep our covered heads low until his back is turned. Kazimir said to use the surge baton on his spine and that should take him out. Once KLI is out, you use the key and open the back door, which should lead us downstairs into the underground. Once there, we're on our own, because Kazimir has never been down there.”
“Got it.”
On my way home today, I feel like everything is surreal. Esfir carrying a surge baton in his backpack, me carrying a forbidden key around my neck—and I'm surprised MAQS hasn't caught on yet. Unless, she already has. Maybe she's been one step ahead of me, of us, this entire time? She usually is. No one ever gets away with breaking her laws. We all saw that up close and center when the rebel group Freedom was dismantled and tossed into Calypso Tower. I even thought of somehow getting into Calypso Tower to free the prisoners to help me. They would understand this more than anyone. But how would I even get past the Dead Zone there, now? After the recent Pod bombing, MAQS increased security along the wall and at the tower. Plus, I have no idea how I would even get into the tower and free them.
MAQS always captures her criminals. I saw that again when Masha Mikhailov the first was thrown into the district jailhouse. But I won't let fear, fear of MAQS, keep me from fulfilling my destiny. I've come too close; I can't turn away now.
When I walk through my front door, my eyes fall on Papa, who's sitting in his favorite living room chair sipping tea, and I wonder how things will be tomorrow. Things will, in fact, never be the same again. Esfir and I will find the truth, something that will hopefully set us all free so that we can choose our own lives. Esfir and I will be free to go outside the borders of Cherni…or Esfir and I will be sharing a jail cell, likely for the rest of our lives. I try not to think of the latter, because if I do, I won't have enough courage to finish this—and I have to finish this.
Papa is so content in his ignorance of MAQS, in his acceptance of this system. And my stepmum…I don't know if her fear of MAQS or her appreciation of me marrying into a high-status family dominates her more. But she is uncanny in her satisfaction too.
When my stepmum lays a plate of rosemary mashed potatoes, dill carrots, and almond green beans on the dining table, I know the day is almost over and I'll be heading to my bedroom to do the unthinkable. At least I'm not eating stew again.
After we eat, I help my stepmum wash the dishes, which is odd for me. I know I'm supposed to follow my routine, but I don't care. I have to do this one last thing for her. She has—despite my anger toward her—done so much for me. It's not her fault that she's not…Mama.
Then, I head to Julian's bedroom, and feed him his last bottle of formula for the day before rocking him and singing to him his favorite song, I'm a Little Teapot. I miss him already, however this day is going to turn out for me.
Lastly, I wash in the bathroom and then head to bed. I try reading a book called Little House on the Prairie, which I borrowed from the Pod library. The story makes me laugh at every chapter. Not because the characters are funny in themselves, but because the story is just so unbelievable. As if horses and carriages ever existed? I've never seen either. The book cover is torn at the corners, and the pages are a dulled brown color that smells like something wet, but I love it all the same. There aren't too many books in Cherni, and those I can take for myself are few and far between.
