Freed, page 13
I laugh. “I know what you meant,” I say. “And to answer your question, yeah. Being able to not hide who I am and live in the shadows makes me happy.”
“Good. That’s good, man,” he says. “I’m glad to hear that.”
“Thanks, brother,” I respond. “That means a lot.”
He looks at me for a long moment, his expression growing serious. “You know I don’t care about all that shit, don’t you? I couldn’t care less that you’re gay,” he tells me. “You’re my brother and all I want is for you to be happy. You know I got your back, man. No matter what.”
He reaches out and pulls me into a tight embrace. It’s awkward at first but I return the hug. Spencer pats me on the back and steps away a moment later, a wide smile on his face. Spencer’s words – and his support – mean more to me than I can ever express.
“Come on, let’s get back to the frat,” I say.
We turn and start the walk back to the house in silence for a few minutes. The enormity of everything that’s happened today is overwhelming and I feel like I’m walking on clouds. There are still a lot of dark storm clouds on the horizon and a lot of fire I’m going to have to walk through to get to where I want to go but for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m on the right path and that I’ll get there.
“So, you’re like not going to start looking at my dick in the shower after practice, are you?” Spencer asks.
The question hits me out of the blue and I look over at Spencer to find him looking back at me, fighting to hold his laughter in. The dam breaks a moment later and his deep, booming laugh fills the quad around us. I punch him in the arm, shaking my head.
“You’re such an asshole,” I laugh with him. “And trust me, your dick is the last one I want to look at.”
“Already checked it out have you?”
“I don’t usually carry a magnifying glass in the locker room,” I fire back.
“Fuck off.”
We walk along laughing hysterically with one another and I can’t think of a time in my life when I’ve ever been happier or felt more at ease with myself and the world around me.
Chapter Sixteen
Wesley
“Oh my God, that is incredible,” I exclaim. “Dylan, do you even know how huge of a thing this is?”
I nod and laugh. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I get it.”
I pull Dylan into a tight embrace and then press my mouth to his, kissing him deeply and passionately. I love that unlike earlier in our relationship, he doesn’t hesitate or stiffen up when I touch him. I love that he initiates contact with me and that our relationship has grown over the past few months.
But most of all, I love that Dylan is growing comfortable in his own skin. I love that he’s become comfortable with his sexuality – for the most part, anyway. He’s still not out to the point where kissing or holding hands in public is something he’s comfortable doing, but I’m confident that one day, we’ll get there.
For now, watching him take these steps on his journey and watching him learn to not just accept but love himself, makes me incredibly happy.
“I can’t believe you told him,” I say, my voice filled with awe. “This is huge, Dylan. Enormous.”
“Well, it’s not like I meant to tell him,” I laugh. “It just popped out.”
“However it came about, I’m glad it did,” I say. “And I’m even more glad that Spencer was so accepting.”
Dylan gives me a rueful smile. “After what happened between you two, I –”
“Doesn’t matter. It’s in the past. I know you care about him and he cares about you,” I tell him. “That’s all that matters to me.”
Dylan leans back on the couch and sighs. I can see by the look on his face that he’s still troubled. I put my hand against his cheek and look into his eyes.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Spencer was the easy one,” he says. “I know it’s only going to get harder from here.”
I purse my lips and nod. “Probably. But you have the strength and the courage to handle it, Dylan,” I tell him. “And you’re not alone, either. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“And I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for you,” he replies. “If not for you, I might still be living a life in the shadows. I might be living a life of absolute misery.”
“You would have found your way out of that life sooner or later,” I continue. “It was already wearing on you and I’m sure at some point, it would have become more than you could bear.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“I am,” I say firmly. “You are a hell of a lot stronger than you let yourself believe, Dylan.”
He says nothing but his smile is warm and he leans forward, pressing his mouth to mine. Our tongues dash together and I run my hands through his hair. He pulls me into his lap and I straddle him, planting a line of soft kisses on his neck as I run my hands down his hard, chiseled chest. I move my hips, grinding myself against his thickening cock and moan.
Dylan grips my hair and pulls my head back, kissing and biting my neck, a small growl passing his lips. He reaches down and takes my belt off the quickly unbuttons my pants. He pushes me to my feet and pulls them down, a look of hunger in his eyes as he looks up at me. Dylan grabs hold of my cock, gripping it tightly. I moan softly as he gives my staff several firm strokes then leans forward and runs the tip of his tongue down one side of my cock and back up the other.
Reaching down, I take a handful of his hair and pull it tight. He slaps my hand away and squeezes the base of my cock even harder. Stroking my stiff rod, Dylan leans forward and takes one of my balls into his mouth, sucking and swirling it around. His tongue on my balls is an intense sensation that makes me shudder.
Still gripping my cock, Dylan takes me into his mouth, moving his head up and down vigorously. I reach for him but he slaps my hands away again, not letting me touch him as he sucks me off. His growl is muffled but he works my cock like he has something to prove, sucking and stroking harder and faster. I throw my head back and moan as he blows me, overwhelmed with sensation. Dylan is bringing me to the edge of release faster than before and it feels so fucking good, I don’t know that I’ll be able to stop it.
As if sensing I’m on the edge though, Dylan pulls my cock out of his mouth and stands up. He kisses me hard then grips my shoulders hard and spins me around. He bends me over, forcing me to hold onto the coffee table for support, and then yanks my pants down to my knees. I hear him fumbling with his belt and a moment later, I gasp out loud when he enters me roughly.
Dylan grabs my hair and yanks my head back hard. I hear the crack of flesh meeting flesh a split second before I feel the sting in my ass from his hand. That sharp bite of pain makes the pleasure I feel from having him pound his cock into my ass all the more vibrant. I grit my teeth and moan as he slaps my ass again.
“Yes Dylan,” I gasp. “Just like that. Fuck.”
I don’t know if it’s confidence he’s discovered after coming out to Spencer or if it’s made him more comfortable in who he is, but Dylan is more aggressive than he’s ever been with me before. He’s commanding and is taking charge – and I like it.
Our bodies crash together in a hard, steady rhythm that sets my every nerve ending on fire and the sound of our passion roars in my ears. Dylan lets go of my hair and reaches around me, taking my rigid staff in his hand. He pumps my cock with the same vigor with which he’s fucking me, and I cry out.
Dylan tightens his grip on my cock, stroking me furiously and before I realize I’m even close, I burst, sending jets of white sticky come spraying all over the coffee table. I stutter and moan, my breath quickening as my entire body shudders and pulses. Dylan squeezes the last drops of come from my cock and then pulls out, spinning me around again and pushing me down on to my knees.
He steps forward and thrusts his dick into my mouth. I tighten my lips around it as he grabs my hair tightly and starts to roll his hips, pumping his stiff rod into my mouth. I swirl my tongue around his cock as he fucks my mouth, groaning with pleasure.
Dylan’s body grows tense and his breathing grows ragged as he thrusts his rod into me. His eyes are burning with intensity as he looks down at me, his hunger and desire shining bright. With one last hard thrust into my mouth, Dylan calls out my name and explodes. I suck him even harder, milking him for all he’s worth. He fills my mouth with his warm seed and I swallow down every last drop, relishing the salty-sweet taste of him.
He staggers back a step and wipes the sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his shirt, a mischievous grin on his lips. He pulls me to my feet and kisses me deeply. Dylan looks into my eyes, his expression growing more serious.
“I – I love you,” he whispers.
His words hit me like a ton of bricks and nearly knock the wind from me. I stare back into his eyes, feeling my body tremble beneath the weight of that statement. It’s the last thing I expected to hear from him and if I’m being honest, it’s left me reeling. I look at him and open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out and I stand there, eyes wide, gaping at him like a fish out of water.
Once the shock wears off though, the emotions come flooding into me and I feel a genuine warmth in my chest. It fills me up and pulls my lips upward into a smile. Everything I feel for Dylan comes rushing to the surface and are so overwhelming, they nearly knock me off my feet.
“I love you too, Dylan.”
His smile is warm and his eyes shine with hope and optimism I’ve never seen from him before. It fills me with a joy that radiates from head to toe and fills my entire soul. It’s the same sort of radiance that I see shining in Dylan’s eyes.
“Thank you for showing me there is a better way to live,” he whispers.
“And thank you for being willing to live it.”
Chapter Seventeen
Dylan
“Dude, there’s a party over at the Phi Kap house tonight,” Josh tells me. “Lots of sweet, young freshman meat just waiting to get drilled. You in?”
“Nah, I’ve got plans tonight,” I tell him.
“You haven’t been to a party with us in ages, dude. What gives?” he presses.
I look over at him and chuckle. “Some of us have better things to do with our time than go try to charm drunk freshmen out of their panties.”
He laughs along with me. “You’re such a pussy.”
We’re in the locker room after practice and I’m trying to get ready after a shower. Wes said he was taking me somewhere special tonight and I’m excited about it so I want to be sure I look presentable.
“Yeah, where ya been, man?” TJ, one of our sophomore defenseman asks me. “I ain’t seen you around the frat in ages.”
“I’ve been there,” I tell him as a I pull on my jeans. “I didn’t know I needed to check-in and out with you.”
“Fuck off,” he laughs. “But what’s up with you, man? You used to be fun and shit and now you’re just ghosting us.”
The music is loud and so are the voices as the guys play grabass and fuck around, just trying to blow off some steam after practice. There’s a small cluster around my locker with guys giving me shit for not hanging out with them as much as I used to.
“You got a piece of ass you’re shackin’ up with or something?” Trevor asks.
Josh looks over at me. “Is that it? You’re spending time with some chick already?”
“Nah, I’ve seen him around,” Trevor says as he steps to the front of the group, looking at me with something like judgment and disgust in his eyes. “Been spending a lot of time with that faggot TA, haven’t you, bro?”
His words send a chill down my spine. Wes and I have been very careful about being seen out together. He agreed that until I’m ready to come out fully, we’d keep our relationship on the down low. And we have – going to out of the way places, remaining careful not to be seen. I feel bad because I don’t want Wes to think I’m embarrassed by him or what we have but at the same time, I haven’t yet gotten to a place where I’m ready to be completely open.
But we weren’t careful enough. Somehow, Trevor’s seen us together. The question I have is how much has he seen? Judging by the look in his eye and the expression of disgust on his face, I have to think he’s seen more than enough to know my secret.
“He tutors me, what do you want?” I ask, pulling my long-sleeved t-shirt over my head. “Some of us want to keep our grades up. I for one don’t want to end up a brainless asshole with no job prospects.”
If Trevor noticed the slight, he gives no sign of it. Instead, he seems entirely focused on making his point.
“Yeah, I’m sure your grades are the only thing he’s keeping up,” he says.
Trevor laughs and elbows his buddy Cody on the side. They both laugh like it’s the funniest joke they’ve ever heard.
“Fuck off,” I snap.
“Seems pretty defensive to me,” Cody remarks. “I’d say you’re onto something there, Trev.”
The air in the locker room suddenly grows noticeably tense. The music is lowered and the conversations grow hushed. Everybody senses something is happening and they all want a front row seat. I catch Spencer’s eye and he starts to move forward but I shake my head, warning him to stay put. The last thing I want is for him to get dragged into this.
“Something going on between you and that faggot you wanna tell us?” Trevor asks.
“Yeah, you fucking that guy or what?” Cody asks. “I mean, the last time I saw you two, you seemed pretty chummy chummy, if you know what I mean.”
“You two seem pretty obsessed with my sex life,” I state. “You guys hoping for a little three-way action or what?”
Trevor’s face darkens with anger as the crowd around us laughs and snickers at him. More than anything else, Trevor hates being made a fool of.
“No, I just don’t think faggots should be allowed on the team,” he sneers. “I don’t want to share a locker room with somebody I gotta worry about looking at my dick.”
I scoff. “Why? It’s not like there’s much to see.”
“Yeah, that’s really funny,” he says.
“And you overestimate your appeal to anybody – regardless of their gender.”
The rest of the team snickers, further darkening Trevor’s mood and expression. He looks around at the crowd and what’s interesting to me is that nobody – aside from Cody – has stepped to their defense. Nobody seems to be backing them. I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it or if there really are fewer like Trevor and Cody than I thought.
“Fuck you,” he spits and then looks around the locker room and addresses everybody. “What about you guys? You guys comfortable with a fucking homo in here? You okay with having a fag in the showers with you? I’m not. I don’t want some faggot looking at my ass like it’s a piece of candy.”
When nobody says a word and everybody looks away from him, Trevor growls in disgust. His anger emboldening him, Trevor steps closer to me, his jaw clenched, his eyes narrowed. He steps to me, standing so close the tips of our noses are almost touching.
He cuts a glance to Cody, maybe making sure his buddy is going to back his play. Cody nods eagerly, egging him on. And when Trevor looks around the locker room, most everybody else looks away, not wanting to get caught up in the middle of it all. Cody’s encouragement though seems to be all he needs.
“So tell us. Are you a faggot?” he growls. “You like having men’s cocks up your ass?”
Spencer catches my eye but I shake my head again. I want to keep him out of this. Trevor doesn’t scare or intimidate me anywhere near as much as he thinks he does. He acts like a big badass but I know deep down, he’s a pussy and is all bluster. If it comes down to squaring up with me, I know he’ll back down every single time.
“C’mon Trev, don’t be so intolerant,” Cody chimes in. “Maybe he’s the one sticking it up his fag boyfriend’s ass.”
They cackle together and Trevor nods as he looks at me. “That it? You the pitcher? You putting it to your boyfriend?” he sneers. “Because I have you pegged as a bottom bitch all the way.”
He’s not scaring me at all and what I find even more strange is that I don’t feel embarrassed by what he’s saying. Nor do I feel any sense of the shame he wants me to feel. Instead, I feel strong. In control. I feel powerful. What he’s actually doing is pissing me off. With every word he speaks, my anger continues to grow. Not because he’s calling me a fag. I couldn’t care less about that. What he thinks of me doesn’t matter one iota to me. No, I’m just sick to death of homophobes like him – like my father – doing whatever they want and suffering zero consequences for it. I’m sick to death of them spewing their hatred and backing it up with violence. Somebody needs to draw the line and put these assholes in their place.
I narrow my eyes and stare daggers at him as my jaw clenches tight and my hands ball themselves into fists at my sides. I take a deep breath and let it out silently, not wanting him to see how much he’s pissing me off – that’ll only encourage him. More than that, I need to throttle myself back since I really don’t want to get into a fight with a teammate. It might make me feel better to put his ass down but I know that violence isn’t going to change who he is.
“What’s the matter?” he spits. “Cat got your tongue, faggot?”
“You know what? I like it both ways,” I tell him bluntly, a wicked grin on my face. “Sometimes I fuck him and sometimes, he fucks me. It just depends on my mood.”
The locker room falls completely silent and it feels like the air has been sucked out of it. Everybody is staring at me with wide eyes and mouths that are hanging wide open, disbelief on all their faces. It wasn’t my intent to out myself in front of the whole team like that – if I came out to them at all. But just like with what happened with Spencer, it came flying out of my mouth before I gave myself a chance to think about it.
