"The orgasms are always a plus." I nodded and waited for her to continue. "BDSM wasn't something I sought out or thought I would enjoy. When you join Blackwood, you get a membership for free. I'd also heard rumors about Brock and Eric back in the day. I worked at Blackwood for three months before I asked to see the club, and after my first visit I didn't quite understand but wanted to try. Brock had introduced me to a couple of Doms, and I didn't realize how much I needed to submit. Doing a scene is an escape from my reality."

  When we were in the conference room of Club Rose, I noticed the way Eric stared at Mia with longing in his eyes. "And did you play with Eric?"

  "No. Eric has wanted a relationship with me, but I never crossed that line." She rested her head against my chest and continued. "I never felt the draw to him. This is probably the most intimate conversation I've had I years.”

  I loved how she felt in my arms and didn't want to let her go. "Do you miss him?"

  "Donovan? He was a safe place for me. I'm a firm believer in Stockholm syndrome or transference syndrome." Mia giggled. "Your therapist friend would have a field day with me. But no, I don't think I was in love with him."

  "I think part of our contract should mandate you see a therapist once a week. The one you choose can be anyone you feel comfortable with." Panic filled Mia's eyes, and she tried to get up, but I locked my hand around her arm and kept her in place. "You have a lot of traumas in your past. Keeping these secrets bottled up will make you sick."

  Mia's eyes narrowed. "I've seen parts of your file. You expect me to go to a therapist, but you don't."

  "Oh, but I do. Bently and I have a session every Wednesday at my office. He's also one of my closest friends, so his psychoanalysis bleeds over into my life more than I like." Besides the evaluation he did on her for the club, I doubted he would actually take her on as a client. One thing I liked about my friend was that he had my back, and he wouldn't be able to help her if we dated.

  There were times I sat back and wondered if I should speak to someone else. Bently was with me during the worst time of my life, and he was there when we lost our close friend to a hit-and-run. The night of the accident, the car should had taken me out, but Ezra saved my life and ended up dying instead. Parts of that night still haunt my dreams, and I know I should talk about them, but I don't. Bently still has guilt from the night, and he'd only told me one night when we drank way too much expensive tequila.

  I shook my head to clear my thoughts from the night that I wished I could do over again.

  "You're right. I should talk to someone. I just don't trust anybody with my secrets," Mia admitted. "I have the urge to grab Lucas, pack our things, and run. The rational part of me understands I cannot outrun my past. No matter how deep you think something is hidden, the truth will always come out."

  A black SUV pulled into the driveway, and my alone time with Mia was over. Her boss was here.

  "How about this?" I placed a kiss against the soft part of her skin near her ear. "Once everyone leaves tonight, we will go over your limits list and do a small scene."

  "I would rather do a scene than deal with Brock. He's going to take over and demand we handle this case his way."

  I didn't bother denying her claim. Her way got her shot. "If you agree to everything he wants, he'll leave sooner."

  Before she had time to reply, a second SUV pulled up, and two men jumped out. Brock and Eric both pulled their guns.

  "Fuck," Mia growled and jumped off my lap.

  There was about to be a damn shootout in my front yard, and I had no clue how to explain the blood to the gardener, let alone keep Lucas away from the front. I ran after Mia toward the front door. I had to get her to stop. She was in no condition to head into a fight.

  CHAPTER 5

  Mia

  I rushed through Paxton's house for the front door. If I had to sacrifice myself to keep my son's existence a secret, I would. My purse was near the front door, and I grabbed my gun from it.

  Donovan Calhoun’s head snapped in my direction when I stepped outside the door and raised my gun in the air. He was still as handsome as I remembered. His dark hair had turned a shade lighter, and his green eyes that kept me fighting years ago were still vivid. The same green eyes I saw every time my son looked at me.

  Donovan could destroy me by taking my son.

  He was never the right man for me. I never wanted to be part of the mob. From a young age, I studied my ass off, hoping to go to college states away from Florida and pursue law. Instead, I was right back in what I’d tried to escape twelve years later. "I swear to God, if everyone doesn't put down their gun, I'm going to start picking people off one by one and haul the bodies to Kat's house. Three bodies ought to be enough to get her to stop complaining."

  "Mia," my brother sighed as he holstered his weapon. "I think we should listen to her. She has the same frown she had in sixth grade before she kicked Billy in the nuts for stealing her friend's lunch money."

  Sebastian didn't volunteer that when Billy kicked his foot out and knocked me over, Big Brother came to the rescue and punched Billy, which led to my brother being expelled from another boarding school and transferring to public school. "Brock, lower your gun. You too, Eric. Dr. Renolds doesn't want to have a gunfight in his front yard. Will you leave if I come with you?"

  "You're not going anywhere," Paxton growled before lowering his voice. "I'm going to redden your ass later for putting yourself in danger. Brock and Eric were both out here. There was no reason for you to come charging outside."

  For a second, I lost my concentration. Paxton's voice was like a warm, fuzzy blanket wrapped over me. His touch made my body sway in his direction.

  Brock lowered his gun and slipped his weapon under his jacket. My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I kept my eyes on Donovan, who slowly lowered his gun. Brock sighed before he yelled, "Mia, check your phone. "

  Kat: Tell Paxton his neighbors can see into his pool from the roof. Just in case you guys want to skinny dip.

  Kat: I'm ready to take the shot. Are we killing your brother? Brock didn't give me a mission report after he spoke with your brother. Oh, and don't tell my husband I'm here. He'd asked if the meeting at Blackwood was over, and I said yes but had to run to the store.

  Kat: Ohh, is the sexy doctor going all alpha?

  Kat: Two houses down, the neighbors are swimming naked.

  Kat: Ready when you are. Make sure Brock stays around to help load the bodies.

  The woman wouldn't stop, and I was sure she would take the shot if I didn't answer her.

  Mia: No killing. Get your ass down here.

  Kat: But it's been so long.

  Mia: No.

  I slid my phone back into my pocket and reassessed the front yard. All eyes were on me.

  "Is she coming down?" Brock asked. "I'm sure Antonio will blame me somehow for his wife being here. He needs to learn to get that woman under control," he added in a grumble.

  I winced as Kat strode around the edge of the house dressed in black leggings, a black T-shirt, and a black stocking hat over her red hair. "Antonio likes me just the way I am." She waved her black-gloved hand toward my brother and Donovan. "How exciting, getting to meet my second mob boss in the same day."

  Not that I didn't enjoy Kat around annoying my boss, I just didn't like the fact it was happening in the middle of a tense fight. The longer we stood out here yelling, the bigger the chance Lucas would come looking. So I sacrificed myself. He would be mad, but I hoped he would understand. I turned to Paxton. "Take care of my boy. Do whatever you can so he doesn't end up with my family."

  Paxton's jaw clenched, and I could see the storm brewing in his mind. Finally, he pushed his black-framed glasses up and nodded. "I think we should talk with Brock. You're making decisions based off emotions."

  He brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. My life would never be easy, and I had to accept that. This might be my only chance. I stood on my tiptoes and placed a quick kiss to Paxton's lips. The kiss was short. "My son is all that matters." I turned toward Donovan. "I'll leave with you if we go now."

  Brock stepped in the middle of the pathway. "You're not going anywhere. Those assholes were supposed to wait until I called them. We have a lot to discuss."

  "He can't know," I whispered, hoping my worst nightmare hadn't come true.

  "Except he does," Brock confirmed what I tried to hide from the world.

  Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

  My ears buzzed as I repeated the sentence in my head.

  I pushed past Brock and marched up to Donovan. I cocked my hand back and punched forward. Donovan didn't move as my fist contracted with his stomach. I swung again, hitting him in the side. A slight groan escaped, but he didn't move.

  An arm wrapped around me and pulled me back against a hard chest. "Stop."

  Donovan stepped forward, and my brother swung, knocking him to the ground. "Fuck. Sebastian, what the hell, man? We're on the same team."

  I felt the blood drain from my face. Same team. "You are helping him take my son?"

  A gun cocked behind me. "Say the word, and I'll take them out." Kat stated, she always had my back.

  Donovan lay on the ground. He spit blood on the cement, leaving a red splotch. His green eyes glared up at me. He winced as he stood. Before I could comprehend what was happening, Donovan leaped toward Sebastian. He swung his leg out before my brother could block him. Sebastian groaned as his back hit the ground.

  With each passing minute, I grew more and more confused.

  Donovan wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth. "I'm not here to take our son away. I figured out you were pregnant all those years ago, because of how sick you would get in the morning. Do you really want to have this conversation in front of everyone, or can we talk privately?"

  I wanted answers, but I worried he was manipulating me. "You won't take him?"

  Over the years, I wondered how Donovan would react to the news about his son. Part of me felt guilty for keeping them apart, but my son deserved better than a life of crime and the Calhoun family. Of course, there would be other people upset about his existence.

  "I didn't think our son would be here. Brock mentioned a safe house, and I wanted to talk to you before they sent you away. I wanted to make sure these men weren’t making decisions for you and that you trusted them," Donovan said. He used the same tone on me years ago when he was worried about me.

  I pinched my brow. "He's here, and I don't know—"

  Donovan reached forward, but Paxton growled. "Do not touch her."

  Part of me should be angry at Paxton for his comment, but damn, it turned me on. "Can I use your office and speak to him?"

  "I'll come with you." Paxton turned and headed toward the house.

  "Men," I ground out. "Kat, Lucas is playing basketball. Can you make sure he stays where he is until I'm ready for him to come in?"

  Kat slung the gun strap over her shoulder.

  "You sure she's the safest person?" Donovan asked.

  I trusted Kat with my life, and there was no doubt in my mind she would do anything to protect my son. Brock was another person I trusted, but I needed him inside.

  Donovan followed Paxton and I through the house to a study. I hadn't looked around his place much, but the main areas were tastefully decorated. It almost looked like his house came out of a magazine. Large gray shelves covered the back wall of the office. Leather-bound books filled the first three sections and novels filled two sections. The leather-bound volumes I assumed were all medical books or nonfiction.

  Paxton stood with his arms crossed, glaring at Donovan. The big bad Dom was worried about me, but Donovan and I needed to have a conversation. "I'll be okay."

  "You're still hurt." He waved toward my side. "I've read enough books to know he probably has another gun hidden somewhere. He could sneak you out the back door."

  "He has a point, Dalia." There was a hint of laughter in his voice.

  "I'll shoot him way before he tries to kidnap me." I rested my hand on Paxton's chest. "You need to trust me."

  "I trust you. I don't trust him," he said as he pulled me closer. "I don't like to share."

  "We haven't negotiated yet. How are you so sure I don't have a threesome kink?" I shot back.

  "Then we can find someone we both agree on," he replied, not missing a beat. "I'll add it to your list."

  He winked and left the room, getting the last word, and somehow, I asked to be in a threesome. Not something I’d ever considered.

  "He loves you." Donovan leaned his hip against Paxton's desk. "For what it's worth, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy."

  I slid onto the charcoal couch against the wall. No way could we have a conversation without dredging up the past. "Did you know before you left on your trip that I was pregnant?"

  "Yes." He strolled across the room and sat next to me on the couch. In the past I got butterflies when he entered the room. Those feelings were long gone. "I was the one that told my father you were pregnant with my child."

  My heart pounded against my chest. Donovan was the reason Cyrus came to kill me. "How did you know I survived?"

  He grabbed my hand and twisted my wrist. "I'm happy you didn't remove my initials." We'd gotten matching tattoos a year after I moved to Mexico.

  I kept them to remind myself of something I could never have. "How?"

  "Who do you think pulled you from the water?"

  No matter how much I tried, I couldn't remember the night in the ocean after the explosion. Twelve years ago, cameras weren't like they were now. I'd tried to get video, but nothing.

  Part of me dreamed Donovan would come to save me from his father all those years ago, but that meant going against his father. Suddenly it clicked. "You blew the boat up, but you weren't alone."

  I heard two voices that night, I was sure of it. But the crashing of the waves made the voices hard to make out who they were. He'd come for me, and I spent my life hiding from him.

  "I wasn't alone. Your brother helped me take down my father. When I couldn't find you anywhere on the boat, I thought we were too late, and he'd killed you and disposed of your body, but when the explosion happened, I heard your scream."

  When I'd arrived at my parents' house to beg for help, my brother was in the room and said nothing when they wanted to offer me up to another family. Did he only come save me to broker another deal? "Why didn't you take me back to your house?"

  Donovan leaned back on the sofa. His eyes wandered out the window to where Lucas was playing one-on-two with Kat and Paxton. "I wanted to, but your brother talked me out of bringing you back to Mexico. He wanted you to have a fresh start."

  None of this made sense to me. Even after my marriage, my father and the Calhoun family were not on the best terms. "He was only doing what my father wanted."

  Donovan took a deep breath. He rested his arm over the back of the couch and played with a piece of my blonde hair. "Your brother came to me a year into your marriage and begged me to get you out. At the time, I wasn't in a place to take over. Many of my father's men were still loyal to him. I needed time. So, I had Clarise put birth control in your vitamins. I knew if my father couldn't get you pregnant, he would send you to my house like his other wives and ultimately try to have you killed. You should hate me for how long my plan took for you to escape, but dad was infatuated with you." His eyes closed for a brief second before he continued. "He wasn't the only one. I loved you, Dalia. And I would have done anything for you. That included walking away, but this story only gets worse, and you will hate your brother and me by the end."

  It might have been love I felt for him years ago, but I never wanted to live that life or subject my son to it. "Is your family coming after my son?"

  My instincts told me the person behind Tabitha's death was linked to my family. I couldn't get past the bomb-making. Ted Norwood might have died four years prior, but someone close to him made the bomb.

  My brother helped rescue me years ago and tried to do something when my marriage was bad, which should make me feel better, but I still had an uneasy feeling, and my gut was never wrong.

  "It's not my family. I've never said a single word about Lucas, not even to your brother. He never knew about our relationship. Sebastian promised me it's nobody on his side. Which makes me wonder if Tabitha crossed someone."

  "Tabitha was only a friend to the outside world," I pointed out. "Why kill her?"

  "Because she was your only close friend." He tugged a piece of my hair, and for a second, I felt like we were sitting in his living room talking about the mundane.

  "Not true. I'm friends with Kat, Jessica, and Sophie. Hell, I'm close with a lot of men as well."

  "I've had eyes watching you for years, Mia. Those are your superficial friends. They don't see the side where you let your guard down. Mia and Tabitha were your only true friends," he asserted.

  I rolled my head to the side and tried to release the stress kink in the muscles of my neck. "Then you know about the attempts on my life."

  If he had stepped in, I might have figured out I had to run a lot sooner or hid Lucas. Instead, he shifted to the side and crossed his arms over his chest. "No. I don't have someone on you all the time. But there is something else I need to tell you."

  All these years, and Donovan was the reason I didn't die. I wasn't sure how I could ever repay him for helping me. There was a good chance I would have died out in the ocean the night of the explosion, but those were all what-ifs, and one thing I learned a long time ago was that you can't change the past. The past also shaped the person I am today.

  "I owe you everything. You saved our son and me. No way I will be mad at you. Just tell me," I replied.

  Donovan nervously bounced his leg and sighed. "Sebastian and I talked. Neither of us wanted you in the life, and when your family only gave you the option to marry again, we figured you would turn to Mia and Tabitha. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. I paid Mia ten million dollars for her to give you her identity."

  I spent almost every waking hour at Mia's bedside for months as she became weak and could barely eat. "She was dying."

 

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