Rejected Academy, page 19
“But I liked our old home. Why did we have to come here?” he asked in a whiny voice. I understood his frustration. It wasn’t as though I wanted to be here either. It had been five years since I left. Deke knew nothing of this place. This wasn’t home to him. There were no bad memories lingering here, nothing of the past to haunt him. I had sworn that I would protect him from all this, that I would make sure he never knew of his heritage, but it was inevitable that some promises would be broken. I just had to stay strong for him.
“You know why, Deke. We won’t be here for long, I promise. We’ll be back home as soon as we can,” I said, thinking about the bright lights of the city that glittered like stars and the safety that came in numbers. Sure, there were things that I was afraid of and parts of myself that I had to hide, but these were a small price to pay for the sake of peace of mind. And I knew that deep down Deke would never truly belong in the city, that there would come a time when he would want to know where he came from, but it was too early for that.
Still, I tried to put on a brave face and make the most of the situation.
“You get to meet your Grandpa. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you,” I said.
“I don’t want to meet anyone,” he replied, pouting. It was late. He was tired. We both were. Hunger gnawed in my stomach as well, and I assumed the same was true of him. Dad’s ranch was still a little while away. The bus had stopped short of bringing us into the town. It had already disappeared into the distance, its headlights fading into darkness. We were going to have to stop off for some food before making the final stop. Before we went in I looked up to the sky, just in case I saw the flapping of wings. I hadn’t just left this place behind when I left, but I had ignored my essence as well. The people who lived in this town weren’t ordinary people; we could turn into dragons. It was just another thing I had kept from Deke, and I knew the longer we stayed here the harder it would be to hide it from him.
I walked into the diner, glancing around warily. I nudged Deke into a booth and when the waitress came over she smiled and asked what I wanted. Deke had waffles, I had some bacon, eggs, and toast. The waitress smiled again and then she lingered. I cringed.
“Say, don’t I know you?” she asked, chewing her gum so loud I could hear it smack between her lips.
“I don’t think so,” I replied through gritted teeth, keeping my head bowed and my gaze averted. I glanced at my reflection in the window and ran a hand through my black hair. When I left it had been lighter, but I had changed since then. Five years was a long time, although it wasn’t long enough to forget. The waitress shrugged and called out the order. Deke leaned back, closing his eyes. I felt bad that he had been dragged along here. I would have done anything to stop him from coming back here, but I had nobody I could entrust him to. I had never learned to let anyone else take care of him.
The food came quickly. I told Deke to hurry. The longer we were out in public the more likely it was that someone was going to recognize me. I knew it was inevitable, but I wanted to delay it for as long as possible. Damn Dad for getting sick, and damn me for caring enough to come and take care of him. My hands trembled as I gripped the fork, feeling a thousand eyes staring at me. My throat ran dry and the food lost all its taste. I had tried so hard to escape, so hard to make a new life for me and Deke, but now we were back here and it all seemed so hopeless.
It had been hard enough to leave in the first place, was it going to be impossible the second time?
I tried to not let my thoughts turn to him as well, but I couldn’t stop them. They pulsed behind my eyes, making my head throb. I rubbed my temples and wished I could dig my claws into my brain and tear them all out. I had done the same to my heart a long time ago.
The door to the diner swung open. Deke wasn’t being cooperative, pushing his food around his plate like it was a toy.
“Eat up,” I said.
Footsteps crashed against the floor. They stopped.
“Kira?!”
I cringed and looked away, but he was already coming towards me.
“Oh my God, it is you! What the hell are you doing here?” he asked. I turned to face him, rising to put myself in between him and Deke by instinct. It was a mistake. He grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug, his arms around me like a vice. His beard rubbed against my skin. The scent of Old Spice tickled my nose and the heat of his body scorched me. He stepped back and gazed at me in wonder, as though I was some ghost that had appeared.
“I can’t believe it’s you,” he said. “After all this time... I never thought I’d see you again. Tristan is going to be over the moon.”
“Hey Gordy,” I said in a dry, flat tone. I threw myself back down in the seat, hating the knot in my stomach that appeared when he mentioned Tristan. Gordy’s blue eyes sparkled with wonder and his lips had curled into a smile that wasn’t going to leave his face any time soon.
“What are you doing back here?” he asked again, and then his gaze fell on Deke. “Is that...”
“That’s Deke. My son,” I said, glaring at him. There was a look of recognition in his eyes. “I’m here because Dad is sick. I came to look after him.”
“Oh yeah, I heard about that. It’s a tough break. I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you. It’s been so long.”
Not long enough, I thought.
“Yeah, well, I’m just here until he gets better, and then we’re going to head back to the city again.”
“At least you’ll be around for a while. It hasn’t been the same around here without you. We’ve all missed you,” he said, and placed a certain emphasis on the word ‘all’, and I knew who he meant. I couldn’t believe Tristan would miss me though, not after what he had done. I pushed the painful memories down and told Deke that we had to get going.
“How are you getting to your Dad’s?” Gordy asked.
“Walking,” I replied.
He barked a laugh, before he realized I was serious. “Kira, you can’t walk out there at this time of night. There are coyotes and all kinds of things. Let me give you a ride.”
“I can take care of myself,” I spat, but then I looked at Deke who was practically passed out. It had been a long ride from the city, and if I was to walk it meant I was going to have to carry him.
“Come on, let me give you a ride. It’ll give us a chance to catch up.”
I reluctantly nodded.
DEKE BARELY STIRRED as I buckled him into the back seat, before I got into the passenger seat beside Gordy. The engine roared and two bright beams of light slashed through the darkness. Dirt and gravel crunched under the wide tires.
“I almost didn’t recognize you with that hair,” he said.
“Yeah. I thought I’d change my look.”
“Well, things haven’t changed so much here. They’re pretty much the same as when you left. Even Ol’ Edith is still baking her pies, and we all thought she’d give up the ghost years ago. Tristan is going to-”
“I don’t care what Tristan thinks or feels,” I snapped. “You know what happened. You know why I left. Loyalty is an admirable quality Gordy, but sometimes it can blind people too.”
“But the kid...” Gordy said, glancing in the rear view mirror at my sleeping child.
My heart trembled at the thought of anything interfering with mine and Deke’s relationship. I tried to swallow a lump in my throat but it just wouldn’t go away.
“I’m not here to see Tristan. I’m not here to see anyone. I’m just here to take care of my Dad and then I’m going to be gone again,” I said, my voice as sharp as a knife.
“It doesn’t have to be that way, Kira. I know a lot of crap happened, but it’s all in the past.”
“Not for me it isn’t,” I said, and glanced at Deke again. He was the only thing that mattered to me now, and I wasn’t going to let anything, or anyone, hurt him. Thankfully, Gordy remained silent for the duration of the journey. Darkness stretched out all around the car, as though we were driving through an abyss. I had almost forgotten how quiet it was out here, and how impossible it was to drown out thoughts.
The soft glow of lights appeared as my father’s ranch grew nearer. Gordy pulled up and leaned back.
“Thanks for the ride,” I muttered. I got ready to leave, when Gordy grabbed my wrist.
“You know he’s going to find out you’re here, and he’s going to want to talk to you,” he said, his eyes glowing like sapphires even in the depth of the night.
“He can want whatever he wants, it doesn’t mean I’m going to give it to him. He sealed his fate long ago,” I said.
“Tristan is the kid’s Dad. He deserves to meet his son.”
“Deserve hasn’t got anything to do with it. Do you think I deserved the way he treated me? Tristan didn’t want anything to do with me or Deke then, so what makes you think anything has changed?”
I slammed the door behind me, wrenching my wrist away. It was the first time I had let a man touch me in five years. I gathered up Deke in my arms and marched towards the house, breathing with relief as Gordy reversed and drove away. Anger simmered within. How dare he try and say that Tristan deserves anything when he was the one who rejected me. He was the one who turned me away when I needed him the most. And now Gordy thinks I should just walk back into Tristan’s life and give him a chance to be a father? No way. He had that chance once and he blew it. I’m not the kind of woman who gets rejected twice. All I want is to take care of my Dad as quickly as possible and then leave again, because there’s nothing left for me here, and there’s nothing Deke needs to learn that I can’t teach him.
I rapped my knuckles on the door and waited for Dad to answer. My gaze drifted to the sky. I started to remember how good it used to feel to spread my wings and soar through the air. It had always been a good way to release some anger, but I couldn’t let Deke see that yet.
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Lilly Wilder, Rejected Academy
