Rejected Academy, page 16
I drop down to my knees, trying to focus on myself. I try to forget all about the fire burning bright in front of me. I try to forget all about the tall oak trees surrounding us. I try to forget about the cold, unforgiving earth underneath my feet. I try to forget about all the others around me. I am alone in this. Just me and my wolf. I have to trust in her, completely. Otherwise, I might not make it, and there will be nothing preventing Kaige from killing Vlad, just like he killed my father.
My father. He has told me about this so many times. He wanted me to be sure, to fully commit myself to this. Every detail has been etched into my memory. He’s told me how it will feel. He’s told me that I need to keep my eyes open and my breathing steady. He’s told me that the pain will be so great it will feel like I’m dying. In a way, it is a kind of a death. My human self needs to die so that my wolf self can be born.
I need to let go. My wolf will dominate me, then once she feels my fully committing to her, we will do this together. Only then will I be a complete being.
The pain in my neck is still there, intensifying. It cuts through me like a knife, a pain the likes of which I’ve never felt before. My head feels like it’s about to explode. I try to keep my eyes open, but it’s even worse. All I see are senseless colors of objects, places and people around me.
My skin itches first. I scratch my arms, my back, my neck, my legs. My nails leave red marks on my body. Something inside of me crackles.
My goodness. Are those bones breaking?
Another crack is heard, and I feel like someone stepped on my chest. I can’t breathe. I’m suffocating. I lower my head to the ground, on my knees. I hiss angrily. I don’t want to scream. It’s bad enough that my first shift happens like this, in front of everyone, instead of in the safety and privacy of the Wailing Woods, like everyone else.
My skin stretches, my bones rearranging, cracking. I feel the coppery tang of blood in my mouth. Oh, God... it hurts like hell. How can I give into this when it hurts so much!?
My teeth crack, only to allow the appearance of fangs. Claws push out from underneath my nails. I’m still on my knees, but I feel I might lose consciousness at any moment. My body is in pain, but I know I don’t want to die. Not like this. Not when there is still so much to do, most importantly kill this son of a bitch who is watching with perverse satisfaction the pain of my first shift.
Suddenly, there is a soft snarl inside my ear. She is urging me to stop fighting. So, I do.
The pain is still intent on tearing me apart. I feel like my insides are on fire, and not in a good way. It’s like someone’s poured molten hot lava down my throat, and now it’s burning everything in its path. The moment I accept the pain and try to breathe through it, instead of away from it, it lessens barely noticeably.
Now, it’s a tidal wave of pain, coming and going, and I have a few moments of peace between the onslaughts. Somewhere inside of me a little voice is telling me that it’ll be alright. I just need to keep going.
I will survive this. I will become the wolf I was always meant to be. And, then I’m going to kill this son of a bitch with my bare claws and teeth.
I drop down to the ground, wasted. The new organism inside of me has taken over. When I open my eyes, it takes me a few moments to adjust to the blaze of the fire. I see it so much more brightly. I see colors I wasn’t able to see before. The darkness has got nothing on me. I see further than ever before. I hear sounds I couldn’t hear before, with my limited human hearing.
But, that’s not the best part. I lift my head, feeling the ground on all fours. The feeling is strange, although not entirely unpleasant. I regain balance easily. My nose is high up in the air. I can smell it all. The woods around me. The fire. The shock. The sweat. The astonishment. The fear. They all ooze their emotions, and my wolf is able to pick up on them so easily.
When I look down, I see the silvery white fur of my big paws. I lift my muzzle. On the other side of the burning flames, Kaige has already transformed. He is much bigger than me, but he is a wolf just like any other. There is nothing special about him.
Me, on the other hand... I am unique. I am bold. I am brazen. And, I am here to kick ass.
He walks around the flickering flames, baring his teeth at me. He’s not saying anything, although he can. Once in our wolf form, we are able to communicate telepathically. However, it seems there is nothing else either of us wishes to say.
I bare my teeth in reply. My fangs are shiny and new. I’m dying to try them out. I feel strength inside of me. My wolf is guiding me. It’s a kind of energy that could never be described in mere words. A pure source of power.
He stands before me, a beast in his own right. He wants me to fear him, to revere him. I can’t do any of those things. I snap my jaws at him, to show him that I’m not afraid. His hackles rise up, as he plants his paws firmly on the ground. He seems to be waiting, his ears shooting up at the sky.
Slowly, he starts circling me. I mirror his movements. We’re both waiting for the other to make the first move. I thought at first that it would take me a while to get used to walking on all fours, but it comes so naturally, as if I’ve been doing it all my life.
I look at his stance. He might try to pounce on me, and I need to be ready. All I need is one opening, one mistake on his part, for me to win this fight and exact my revenge.
He growls at me, but I don’t even blink. Everyone around us is silent, but I don’t need them to be. It’s become easy to drown out every other sound apart from Kaige’s breathing. I can hear when it hastens. I can hear when it slows down.
All of a sudden, he charges, but I manage to evade his attack in the last minute. He skids through the dirt, immediately ready for another onslaught. I lower my front body, focusing on him. He lunges again, his mouth wide open and his pearly-white fangs glistening, sharper than knives. He’s aiming for my throat, but I sacrifice my foot instead to his teeth.
He digs into my foot angrily, and it only takes me a second to open my mouth wide and grab him by the neck. He squeals, releasing me from his grip. I look at my paw. It’s bleeding silvery red, but I feel no pain. I don’t know how that’s possible, but I don’t question my wolf. She knows what she’s doing.
My ears prick up at him. My temples throb with rage. I want him to attack me once more. But, he seems to be on the defense this time, biding his time. He’s more careful. Blood trickles down his neck. He’s hurt.
Good.
He snaps his teeth at me, snarling. But, he’s lost his authority. He has only one way of gaining it back, and that is to defeat me. A mere child who dares defy him, who dares challenge him.
Unwilling to wait any longer, I throw myself at him, biting him on the head, on the neck, wherever my teeth land on his body. I’m attacking him with such fury, he’s unable to fight back. I tear bits and bits of his fur, his flesh, until he is lying on the floor, in a pool of blood, with parts of his flesh scattered about him.
He is breathing heavily, his chest rising then lowering. It’s the strangest, most satisfying déjà vu.
I walk over to him, looking at him from above. It would be so easy to kill him. All it would take is just one bite. Just one blow. And, he would be no more. But, my wolf doesn’t want me to. She wants him to know the pain of living without anybody, the pain of being hated by the whole world. It’s a fate worse than death.
“Don’t worry,” I tell him with the voice inside my mind, but I know everyone else can hear us. “I won’t kill you. You don’t deserve to die as a warrior. You deserve to be outcast like the piece of shit that you are.”
He doesn’t say anything to that. He doesn’t need to.
The tongues around me are no longer caged. They are in disbelief that things can actually change. A wolf howls somewhere in the distance. I raise my head to the full moon. I howl loudly. Proudly.
All it takes is one brave soul to make a change.
Chapter 26
Cat
I lift my gaze. Everyone around me has shifted. I recognize scents, not faces any longer. I’m searching for a familiar scent, the one that drove me here. I’m barely paying any attention to the fact that everyone has turned against Kaige, and he is being forced out of the Wailing Woods. I don’t know where he will go, but one thing’s for sure. He will be the only one ever not to be admitted to the Hermitage if he seeks shelter there.
Leaves rustle somewhere nearby. My ears prick up. All my senses are still heightened to the brim. I look up and see his eyes. I’d recognize them among a million other men, a million other wolves. His scent is all I want, all I need. He brings his muzzle to mine, gesturing at me to follow him. Then, he disappears into the Wailing Woods.
I run after him, as we both catch a new scent, something completely unfamiliar. It takes a while to get there, but we eventually do. In the silent depths of the Wailing Woods, right in the middle of a clearing, washed by the moonlight, I see a deer. She’s young, maybe not even two years old. I wonder what she is doing all alone.
I notice that Vlad has stopped as well. His instincts have kicked in, just like mine. It’s not that we want to hunt this poor thing down. We need to. I want to turn away and just head back to the Hermitage, but I can’t stop thinking about her thick neck and me digging my teeth into it.
I look around. There are numerous paths back into the woods where the deer might run away if we jump her now. Vlad approaches me so silently that not a single leaf underneath his paws stirs. The night is completely still. His steel blue eyes haven’t shifted. They only seem more sparkly now.
I gaze at him in awe. He is magnificent, standing by my side. His fur is thick and luscious, dark grey with patches of chocolate brown. His claws are long and pointed. He’s not thinking anything, yet I can hear his desire. It’s easy to pick up on it, because it is exactly what I’m feeling, too.
He wants me. And, good heavens, I want him as well.
I inhale his scent, musky and masculine. He turns to me for a quick moment, nuzzling me softly with his muzzle. His touch is hot, burning me up. I want more. Yet, something’s missing, and I know exactly what it is.
Better yet, who it is.
I moan against his closeness. The deer’s head lifts up apprehensively. A moment later, she is but a mere memory and the clearing is devoid of any presence, save for our own.
My flesh tingles under his hot breath, and another surge of warmth spreads through me, as we circle each other. But, it’s not like Kaige and I. No. That was a fight. This is something completely different. Everything about Vlad is masculine. His dominance is easy to sense. It’s overpowering. I’m sure that he could have taken on Kaige himself in his wolf form. So, I wonder why he hadn’t.
Then again, maybe things were meant to be this way. It’s not a good thing to question fate. My dad once told me this. So, I won’t. I’ll consider myself damn lucky. He licks my nose. It almost tickles, but I don’t chuckle. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Instead, I do the same to him.
Suddenly, we hear another branch crack somewhere close to us. Vlad pulls away immediately, but he remains close by. I don’t need his protection, but it feels good to know that he’s here in case I need him. We don’t need any words between us. Instinct does it all for us.
I don’t know what is approaching us, but my head is dizzy, and I can’t focus on the potential approaching danger. I’m drunk on Vlad’s scent. My wolf has fallen for his like crazy. I can’t even explain it. It’s just too primitive. Too raw. It feels even more liberating than that night the three of spent together.
Stefan... I need him here.
Another rustle is heard, closer this time. Vlad doesn’t growl. He doesn’t snarl. His gaze is focused on the direction where the noise is coming from. But, it doesn’t seem like he is concerned. He seems to be merely waiting for something, or someone.
I push myself closer to him, rubbing myself against his fur. My entire body sizzles at the touch. I can’t deny the attraction, the sheer and utter need I have for him. Yet, there’s still something missing. I can’t just let go and bond with him.
I hear the sound of leaves rustling. Finally, I see another head. Another set of eyes I could never mistake for anyone else’s.
“Stefan!” my mind calls out to him, while my body is drawn to him instantly.
The three of us come together, and the closer we are, the more intense this yearning, this need becomes. I nuzzle Stefan, then Vlad. I see the devotion in their eyes.
“So beautiful,” I hear Stefan’s voice inside my mind.
His voice sounds hollow. It lacks that human element to it when he speaks, but I feel like this type of communication is more liberated. I can think whatever I wish, and I know that my thoughts will be conveyed simply and correctly. All restrictions have disappeared.
Vlad comes to my other side. I realize now why I’m so drawn to them both at the same time. I love Vlad for his charm, for the way he always knows what to say to make me feel better. I love Stefan for being my protector, for being strong when I had no strength left in me. For a moment, I wonder if they would want to fight over me, but that seems ludicrous. We all want the same thing. We want one another.
The intensity of my own emotions threatens to take over, not allowing me to think about anything else. I just feel... an everlasting need. Bathing in the soft glow of the moonlight, I know I am exactly where I need to be. I feel like myself with my wolf self, and with these two men who have accepted me as I am from the first moment they laid eyes on me.
Still, I can’t believe I am here. I can’t believe I am about to do this.
Right now, there is nothing more important than my most basic instincts which reveal my most inner desires. As I gaze into their eyes, I see the same kind of hunger, the same desires.
“I want you...” I think to myself, forgetting that everything I think is immediately transferred onto them.
They get even closer to me, this pull between us so raw and unapologetic.
“You are mine,” Vlad tells me.
“Yours...” My mind is quick to reply.
“You are mine,” Stefan repeats.
“Yours...” My thoughts are faster than my lips ever could be.
“Ours...” they murmur together, and all I can do is rub myself against them.
After our vows, the forest around us suddenly becomes quiet. I look up. The night sky looks like an explosion of a million tiny stars, all of which represent a single wish someone has made, just waiting to come true. I wonder if my own wish was waiting up there, only to be taken down on this very special night.
I belong. I finally belong. The thought swirls inside my mind, and I don’t care if they hear me or not. I belong to them both and nothing in this world could have made me happier. My very soul has been bared in this communion, and I know they feel the same.
My wolf growls softly. All this feels so terrifying and thrilling at the same time. When you can’t resist something, it is easy to give in to it. I rub against them, and their muzzles feel the softness of my silver white fur.
I thought claiming someone would be more aggressive, that it might even include shedding of blood, because you need to mark someone as yours, as belonging to you. But, this is completely unlike anything I had in mind. I never expected such tenderness, such loving care. I feel as if our souls have exited our bodies somehow, and they are hovering over us, amalgamating. It feels overpowering, the sensation taking everything out of me. It’s unstoppable.
That same yearning pools underneath my tail. Instinctively, it points upward. My most primal instinct has taken over. All I want to be is taken. Claimed. Made theirs in every way possible, in any form we take. As humans, we are held back by what the human civilization has imposed upon us. As wolves, we are under no one’s control, only our own wolf’s.
Their teeth nip at my fur, at my ears. I hear them both call out my name, thick and heavy, like the air around us, filled to the brin with a sensation that we will eventually fully give into.
Suddenly, our three muzzles press together at the tips of our noses. Desire takes over. I lick Stefan’s face. He tastes salty and sweet at the same time. Vlad nuzzles around me, then softly nibbles on my neck. I feel the sharpness of his teeth digging into my fur only for me to recognize the sensation. Never to hurt. Only to pin. Only to pleasure.
Suddenly, my fur starts to glisten. At first, I just think it’s the reflection from the rays of the moonlight. It sparkles like someone spilled diamond dust all over me, brighter and brighter, until I’m burning like a candle in the darkness. Vlad and Stefan take a step back, mesmerized.
Something is happening. Something beyond my comprehension.
I fully let go. I feel myself being lifted off of the ground and my wolf lifts up her head and howls into the night.
So, this is what bonding feels like...
Chapter 27
Cat
I return to my human form much more easily than shifting to my wolf form. I listen to the sound of my breathing. It is the only thing I can hear, as my gaze falls on the two naked men before me. They look like statues, glistening under the light of the moon. Stefan is slightly more muscular, but Vlad doesn’t lack anything in that respect.
As the first time, Vlad approaches me, his hand finding my cheek. His touch is scorching hot, as his brilliant blue gaze burrows into me. He presses his lips into mine possessively. I return the favor with equal passion. He leans me backwards, laying me down softly. The grass underneath me feels velvety supple, as it envelops my body.
I feel another pair of hands on my thighs, enticing me to open them. I close my eyes, as Vlad’s mouth ravages mine. His tongue explores the depth of my hunger, knowing there’s so much more of it hidden inside of me.
That very moment, I feel the warm flicker of Stefan’s tongue on the most tenderly sensitive bundle of nerves between my thighs. My mind is a blank. All I can feel is the build up nestled in my lower abdomen.
I gasp at the sensation, as Stefan’s tongue strokes over me slowly, tantalizingly. I gasp as Vlad pulls away only to allow me to breathe, then locks his lips to mine once more. I offer myself up to both of them, my body trembling, wanting more of this sweet torture.
