Afterglow: A Brother's Best Friend Romance, page 7
I shake his hand. “Dax says you’re the best.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “Well, I wouldn’t use those exact words, but my patients do seem to love me. Please have a seat.” He gestures to a comfy-looking chair. “What brings you in today?”
“I had a really scary panic attack last night. It was like I didn’t have control over my body. I was terrified. All I wanted to do was regain control, but I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried.”
He nods, making a few notes. “Any idea what caused the attack?”
I take a deep breath before retelling the horrible night with Leo. I can’t believe that was three days ago.
Elijah takes notes while I go over everything. Tears fall down my face as I relive it all, and I hate it. I’ve never been a big crier.
“That is a lot to go through. I’m sorry that happened to you.”
“I hate that it fucking happened because I feel like a totally different person now,” I confess.
“Tell me more about that,” he instructs.
“I feel weak, stupid, and scared. Things I never thought about myself before. I’m second-guessing my gut, and I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to trust myself again. I just want to move on with my life. I’m aware it only happened a few days ago, but I’m not sure even time can heal these wounds. The bruises on my face will fade, but will the scars on the inside?”
“What you went through was a traumatic event that would shake even the strongest person. There is a type of therapy I want to recommend to you, though. I think it would be highly effective in this situation. It’s called EMDR, which stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. What happens is I will guide you in a session, taking you back to the night with Leo. While we are doing this, I will be moving my finger in front of your face, and you will follow it with your eyes. I will constantly ask you how you are feeling and what you are thinking. We will break down the negative emotions and thoughts that come up and redirect them to positive ones. This isn’t hypnotherapy. You won’t forget the night, but the goal is that it will no longer have a hold on you. By dealing with it in this way, those panic attacks shouldn’t happen again because if things go according to plan, we will be getting rid of the triggers. This therapy has side effects, and the session itself can be very taxing, but it is a highly effective form of psychotherapy.”
I let his words float around my head. Should I attempt this? The idea of having to relive the event again kind of terrifies me. Yes, I can tell the basics of what happened, but I’m sure I’ll have to go deeper than that for this session. But I don’t want Leo to have any hold on me.
“Let’s do it,” I insist, and he smiles and reaches into his desk for some papers.
“Here is all the information. I want you to read all of this before we continue. I have a few appointments available this week. If you are certain you want to try this, I’m sure I can fit you in. After that, I’ll want to do a follow-up appointment. We’re going to get you through this, Izzy. You are a strong woman. I can see that.”
I blink my tears away and nod. I don’t feel strong right now, but maybe I will again.
One day.
Chapter 10
Dax
“Damn, that smells good,” I call out as I step into the apartment.
Coming home to a hot meal I didn’t have to cook after a long day at work sure is nice. It’s something a guy could get used to.
But what’s better is the woman who’s waiting for me. Our evening conversations are becoming something I crave. Just spending time with Izzy fills something inside of me I didn’t know I needed. I was fine having just sexual partners and keeping a disconnect. I didn’t need a relationship. At least, that’s what I thought until Izzy moved in.
We aren’t having sex, and part of me would be okay if we never did, as long as she doesn’t leave. I love having her in my life as a friend and, hopefully, when she’s ready, as a partner.
“It’s almost ready,” Izzy says with a giant grin as I walk over to her.
She’s stirring some potatoes, and I’m assuming the chicken is in the oven.
“These bruises are healing nicely, and the swelling is almost all gone.”
“I didn’t even have to take any pain pills today.”
“That’s great. Did you still drink your water and get some rest?”
“Of course I did. I am a good girl,” she teases with a giggle.
I turn and bite my knuckle to stop the groan begging to break free.
We still need to eventually discuss what we are doing here, but as long as we don’t cross the sexual line again, it can wait. I want her to be emotionally strong enough before we start anything.
“How did therapy go?” I ask, then bite my tongue. Shit, I’m sure that was too personal of a question. I should have waited for her to supply the information on her own terms. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” I add, trying to make up for putting my foot in my mouth.
“It went well. It wasn’t a long session. We have another appointment in a few days, though. We are going to try EMDR…” She pauses and points to some papers on the island. “I’ve been reading about it all afternoon. It’s really interesting. It like rewires your brain almost. Honestly, I’m open to trying anything. That panic attack last night was terrifying. I don’t want that to ever happen again.”
I nod. “I’m glad it went well. Elijah is a great guy. Do you mind if I read the papers?”
“No, go ahead, you do that while I finish supper.”
With a smile, I move to sit at the island and grab the papers.
“Here you go,” Izzy sings out a few minutes later, setting a plate in front of me. It startles me a little, which makes her giggle. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I laugh. “It’s all good. I guess I was more engrossed in the information than I thought. It’s an interesting form of therapy. No major side effects, although the nightmares sound like they could be scary.”
“That’s one thing I’m not looking forward to, plus having to totally relive the night. I have to walk him through everything step by step,” she groans, sitting next to me. “But it’s going to be worth it in the end.” She nods firmly like she’s trying to make herself believe it.
“It will be. What day is your session?”
“Friday afternoon. Will you be able to send a car for me again?”
“Absolutely. I wish I could take you myself,” I confess, and she beams. “I’m off on the weekend, though. I made sure to note not to disturb me, so if you need anything, I’ll be here for you.”
“Why did you ask not to be disturbed? You didn’t know about my session until now.”
I grab the back of my neck as heat creeps up, warming my face and entire body.
“I wanted to spend time with you,” I admit. “I’m not sure what’s happening between us. I don’t think it’s the right time to start anything sexual, especially nothing of the kinky variety, but I want to get to know you better.”
Her eyes go wide, but she nods. “I’d like that,” she whispers.
After dinner, my phone rings, pulling me away from the great conversation I’m having with Izzy. When my eyes land on the caller ID, I freeze as a shiver runs down my spine.
“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath.
Izzy shoots me a confused look, clearly wanting to know what’s going on.
I blow out a breath before responding. “It’s Riley.”
Her eyes widen, making her look like a deer caught in headlights.
“Don’t tell him I’m here,” she pleads, and I nod.
Oh, I have no plan on telling my best friend his baby sister is living with me.
“Hey, man,” I answer before it goes to voicemail.
“Took you long enough.” He laughs, but the nervous energy cursing through my veins doesn’t ease.
“Sorry, I was doing the dishes… almost didn’t hear my phone.”
“All good, man. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out this weekend. It’s been a while.”
“Sorry, I’m busy this weekend, but maybe next week?”
“Busy? Don’t tell me you’re working. You promised you’d be taking a step back,” he reminds me, almost sounding hurt.
“I’m not working,” I state, wanting to be as honest as possible.
“Then how are you busy? Oh, wait…” He pauses, and I wonder what is going through his head. “Do you finally have a new girl?”
I stare at Izzy, who is wiping the counters. Her yoga pants show off her perfect ass, and I wonder if what I’m feeling for her is only lust. Maybe it’s simply been too long since I’ve gotten laid. I blow out a breath because I know that isn’t true. I shouldn’t be demoting my feelings for Izzy like that.
“Maybe,” I answer as honestly as I can.
“That’s all you’re gonna give me?”
“It’s new. I’m not sure what’s happening yet, but I like her,” I say while looking directly into Izzy’s eyes.
“Damn, you sound lovesick already,” he jokes.
“Look, man, I need to go. We’ll set up something for next week. Maybe grab some grub or a beer.”
“Sounds good,” he accepts and ends the call.
“You like me?” Izzy croons with a smirk as she saunters over to me.
“I do.”
“I like you too,” she whispers, staring intently into my eyes.
She’s so close, and I’m dying to touch her, so I encircle my arms around her waist, pulling her closer.
Pushing up on her toes, she bridges the small distance, pressing her lips to mine. Holy shit, I’m kissing Isabella Thatcher. Somehow, it’s the most amazing kiss I’ve ever had. It’s soft and short but fucking perfect. I need more.
“Want to relax in the Jacuzzi?”
I chuckle. “Okay, but no shenanigans tonight,” I say, making her laugh along.
“Deal,” she calls out as she heads toward her room to change.
Once our bathing suits are on, we head upstairs and climb into the warm water, staying quiet for a while in comfortable silence.
“How come you’re single?” Izzy asks as we stare at the night sky.
I shrug, not entirely sure how to answer the question.
“I mean, you’re nice, caring, and so attentive. How would anyone want to let you go?”
“I only completed my residency about a year ago, Izzy. The guy you’re getting today isn’t the guy I was in the past.”
“That makes sense,” she says. “When did you date last?”
I think about it and realize it’s been a long-ass time. I’ve played at Afterglow on and off over that time frame, but not with a girlfriend. Only with different subs who were looking for the same thing I was.
“Almost three years,” I answer.
Izzy sits up, staring at me with wide eyes. “Damn, that is a long time.”
“Everyone I dated complained I wasn’t attentive enough. They were right. I just couldn’t be. So, I stuck with going to Afterglow, getting my needs met in a way that worked for me and the sub. It wasn’t fair to my girlfriends that I couldn’t give them my all.”
“But it’s different now?” Izzy guesses.
“Now, my life is more stable. I would love to have someone in my life again.”
“And you want me?” She nibbles on her lower lip, insecurity coursing behind her eyes.
Sitting up, I reach over for her hand.
“I’ll admit, Izzy, I’ve never thought about you like this before. You were only Riley’s little sister to me.” She makes a grumpy face, and I fight the laugh wanting to escape. “But since you’ve been in my house, I’ve been drawn to you, and I want to kick myself in the ass for not seeing you as your own person sooner. You’re a fucking catch, Izzy, so yeah, I want you.”
Her breath hitches as I pull her toward me, sitting her on my lap.
“Is this okay?” I check, wanting to be cautious here.
She nods before making the first move again. I groan as her lips land on mine, kissing me with a fiery need. Has kissing alone ever turned me on this much before?
I lick the seam of her lips and slip my tongue into her delicious mouth. Damn, she tastes like fucking heaven.
She wiggles in my lap, pulling another groan from me as my cock hardens beneath her.
“Izzy,” I warn, which makes her pout. “We’re taking it slow, remember?”
She sighs and reluctantly climbs off my lap.
“Slow is stupid,” she mutters.
I chuckle. “But necessary for just a bit longer, okay?”
She rolls her eyes before bobbing her head in agreement.
“Can I ask for something?” she requests quietly after a little while.
“Anything.”
“Could we cuddle tonight? I promise to be good and not push any boundaries. I really want to be held.” She shoots me big pleading eyes, making it impossible for me to say no, even if I wanted to.
“That could definitely be arranged,” I say with a smile.
Her whole face lights up with pure joy, and she gives me a quick peck on the lips, thanking me, then relaxes into her seat.
We spend a good amount of time in comfortable silence, letting the water ease our muscles and lull us into a deep space of relaxation. Having Izzy close to me fills a space in my chest that I didn’t know was empty. It’s only when Izzy yawns that I realize how late it is.
“Okay, it’s bedtime,” I say with a yawn of my own.
Izzy sleepily bobs her head, stretches, and stands up.
I get out first and grab towels for each of us before helping Izzy.
“Go get changed. I’ll meet you in my room,” I state as I move to pull the cover over.
She bites her lip and turns to leave.
All of the subs I’ve had in the past were brats always pushing boundaries. I loved it, not thinking I would ever want a different type of sub. But Izzy isn’t a brat, and I’m finding out I like it a lot more than I thought I would. I’m intrigued that this would be a different dynamic when it starts. I’m not sure if it’s because my interests are changing or because it’s Izzy. Either way, I don’t care. I’m just excited to have the chance to see where things lead.
“Do you need more clothes?” I inquire after Izzy leaves her room in the same pajamas she’s worn each night.
She bites her lip again, tilting her head from side to side.
“Kind of. These are the only pajamas I have. Like I said, Leo threw out a lot of my stuff. I need to go shopping, but I haven’t wanted to leave the apartment. This place is a safe haven for me, and I’m not ready to step out.” Her words are quiet as she casts her gaze toward her feet.
Placing my hand beneath her chin, I tilt her head toward me, staring into her gorgeous brown eyes.
“I want you to tell me if you need anything, okay?”
Her breath hitches, and she nods.
“I know we are taking this slow, but tomorrow I think it’s time we talk. We need to communicate what we want in this relationship and what we expect from the other person.”
“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.” She smiles as I grab her hand and walk her to my room.
“This room is huge.” She gasps, and I chuckle.
“I know it’s a bit excessive, but there are lots of room to play in.” I smirk.
“Hey, if I have to behave, so do you,” she retorts, making me laugh.
“Okay, that’s fair. Come on, let’s get some sleep.”
As we climb into my Alaskan King bed, neither of us says a word. Without thinking too much, I pull her into my arms, and Izzy rests her head on my chest, running her fingers over my pecs.
Fuck, she feels perfect here next to me.
Now that I’ve had this small taste of Izzy, I’m positive I’m not going to want to let her go. What that means for my friendship with Riley, I have no idea.
Chapter 11
Izzy
“Damn, this place is nice.” Caidance peers around the apartment with wide eyes.
A couple of hours ago, I called Dax to make sure it was okay if Caidance came over because I was getting lonely. I missed my best friend and needed some much-overdue girl time.
“Does Dax come from money too? There’s no way he’s making this kind of money as a pediatrician,” Caidance says.
She isn’t aware of Dax’s full back story. Most people aren’t.
“When he was born, his parents were barely making ends meet,” I begin, telling the story Dax told us the first time he met our family. “His dad started learning about investing and was surprisingly good at it. He had a way of always choosing well, getting in at the perfect time, and cashing out before things went down. By the time Dax was ten, they were able to move into a nice neighborhood like the one you and I grew up in. Before he was sixteen, his dad made his first million, growing their money quickly after that. Even though his parents eventually became billionaires, I wouldn’t say he came from money. Not like Leo did. And Dax isn’t jaded about it, you know that.”
“Damn,” Caidance says, and I nod. “So, he became a billionaire at nineteen when his parents passed away?”
“Yup. Besides this place and his stupid-expensive car, he doesn’t really flaunt it, though. I don’t think most people know how much he’s worth.”
“He probably keeps it that way for a reason. He’d have people mooching off him left and right if they did.”
“Yeah, the only reason he told our family was so my parents didn’t worry about him financially. You know, they kind of took him under their wing when he started hanging out with Riley. Yes, he was an adult, but barely.”
“Okay… show me the awesome theater room you were talking about. We’ll talk more there.”
I laugh and show her the way.
“Okay, I love Briana, but how do I find me a billionaire? I want a place like this,” Caidance jokes.
“You act as if you’re living in a cardboard box, not a five-bedroom house in a gated community,” I tease.
