Hunter, page 28
“What about…” he panted. “Your pain, and… Do you…”
I guided his hand down over the front of my pants and pressed it against my erection.
He groaned softly, squeezing my cock through my jeans, and then he kissed me even harder.
I was pretty sure he got the message.
Chapter 27
Scott
I couldn’t believe we were here.
Naked. Kissing. Groping. Tangling up in the sheets and covers. Turning each other on.
I’d tried so hard to shove him away and run for the hills, but he’d planted his feet and refused to let me go up into my own head, and now I had him in my arms. His hands and his mouth were as eager and sincere as his words had been earlier, and if I’d had any doubts before that he wanted me as more than a client, I was a believer now. I didn’t know how we’d do this, only that we would. I’d found a man I would move heaven and earth for, and by some miracle, he was too stubborn to let me run when fear got the best of me.
And now I just…
My God, I just needed him. I didn’t even care what we did. A couple of handjobs. Making out for a while. Fucking until we were both too sore to drive back to Seattle. It didn’t matter, as long as he was here, and he felt as good as I could possibly make him feel.
My head ached a little, but it wasn’t much. Kind of like the vague throb hinting that maybe I should go hunt down some coffee sooner than later. I’d had worse, and a dull headache wasn’t going to keep me from sex with Hunter. It just meant I was moving slower than usual, but we both liked it slow and easy anyway, so I wasn’t going to bitch.
And even with the throb in my head and cheekbone, this was perfect. Hunter’s warm, naked skin against mine. His hands all over me. Our lips moving together. Everything with him was so easy. So natural. So obvious. The way our bodies fit together. The way we moved. The way his hands and lips felt on my skin. Everything.
It shouldn’t have been possible. Less than twenty-four hours after my family—my parents—had rejected me, I was wrapped up with Hunter, and even on the heels of losing my family, I was loved. Deeply, fiercely loved by someone who didn’t just accept me, he fought for me. He got in my dad’s face to defend me. When I tried to retreat into the safety of the closet, he grabbed on, and he held on, and he talked me back out into the light. When I tried to push him away, he wasn’t having it, and now he was holding me closer than ever.
All the voices were still in the back of my mind, especially my dad’s voice from yesterday, but I just didn’t fucking care. It wasn’t that I couldn’t hear them or I’d forgotten them—they just didn’t matter. They were lying. There was nothing disgusting about us. We were two incredibly imperfect people who were so damn perfect for each other, and nothing my family said could take away from that.
I’ll miss them, but I love you, baby. So much.
My regrets from the last fifteen or twenty years could fill an entire book, but if there was one silver lining to it all, it was that taking this long to figure myself was the reason I had Hunter at all. I felt like a train wreck with a long way to go before I was worthy of anyone’s love, but Hunter saw me as someone worth fighting for, both to fend off my dad, and so he wouldn’t lose me himself.
No one had ever fought for me.
No one had ever thought I was worth it.
But this man…
Holding him closer to me, I squeezed my eyes shut, not giving a damn about the tears that slid free. I was beyond worrying about my pride right now. I was too raw for that, and I needed Hunter too much. I needed him to know how much I loved him and how grateful I was for him. Not only right now when my life felt like a smoking crater, but that he’d come into my world at all. I adored him, and I loved him, and I would have even if we’d met while everything was perfect and I had my head together.
The fact that he was here—that he refused to let me shove him away—when things went to shit?
My voice shook but I managed to whisper, “I love you, Hunter.”
He smiled as he brushed his thumb across my cheek. “I love you too.” Then he kissed me again, and I gently rolled him onto his back. He parted his thighs, letting my hips settle between them, and as his hard cock brushed mine, I sucked in a sharp breath through my nose. Not enough to break the kiss, though. No way in hell.
I rocked my hips gently, seeking some friction. Hunter responded with a low moan, his fingers carding through my hair as we fell into a slow, easy rhythm. Everything else faded away. It was just heat, and motion, and him, and me, and us, and I lost myself in all of it. The way his fingers trailed up my back, leaving goose bumps in their wake. The way our bodies fit together. How we’d both learned to move and touch without aggravating each other’s tender spots.
And how fucking much I wanted to lose it and either come all over him or cry. Maybe both.
A shudder ran through me, and I broke the kiss with a gasp and buried my face against his neck. We both groaned as I picked up just a little bit of speed. His fingers dug into my back, and I was pretty sure he was rolling his hips in time with mine. The way my head spun now, that had nothing to do with anything except Hunter and how close he had me to losing it.
“Fuck, baby,” he breathed, digging his nails in my back. “Oh, fuck…”
“Yeah?” I nipped his collarbone, then pushed myself up on my arms so I could see him. He looked up at me, eyes heavy-lidded, and bit his lip. His neck and chest were faintly flushed, and my God, I didn’t think anyone had ever looked sexier than he did right then.
And nothing had ever sounded sexier than his soft, ragged moan of, “Baby, I’m almost there.”
I shivered, almost losing my rhythm. “Yeah?”
He nodded. “Uh-huh. Just…” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Oh, God…”
I stopped abruptly, and before he could even protest, I went down on him. Instantly, he rewarded me with a shuddering moan, tangling his fingers in my hair as I pumped his cock and teased it with my tongue.
“Oh, Jesus,” he breathed. “Ungh yeah. I’m gonna come. You ready for—ready for me?”
I moaned what hopefully came across as “fuck yes,” and Hunter whimpered softly as his cock thickened between my lips. I gave him everything I had, doing everything I knew to turn him on and drive him toward that edge, and in no time, he gasped. Shuddered. Jerked. And then cum rushed across my tongue as he slurred curses and God only knew what else.
When he sank back to the bed, I came back up to him, and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me down into a kiss. He was still panting, still shaking, his body feverishly hot, and I wanted to get absolutely drunk off him.
As we kissed and he trembled, he slid a hand between us, and I once again broke the kiss with a gasp, this time because he’d closed his fingers around my dick.
“My turn,” he murmured with a grin. He wasn’t kidding, either. Holy shit. As we sank into another deep, frantic kiss, he pumped my cock like his life depended on it.
I tried to hold back. I wanted this to last as long as our bodies could handle it, but my self-control was no match for his talented hand and fucking magic kiss. The need for air made me break away again, but it didn’t matter—he had me so close. So damn close. I didn’t want this to be over, but my God, he was so… This was so…
“Come for me,” he purred.
“Hunter…”
His lips brushed mine as he whispered, “Let go.”
I closed my eyes.
And I let go.
With a shudder and a grunted, “fuck!”, I came as he whispered encouragement and kept on stroking me, his hand slick and hot now, until I had nothing left.
Then I collapsed beside him. He curled up against me. For a long moment, I lay there, eyes closed as I tried to catch my breath, and Hunter’s body heat was sweeter than it had any right to be.
Especially as the dust started to settle. As reality started to creep back in.
I’d thought I’d be alone now, but I wasn’t. If ever there was a moment when I’d always thought sex with a man would make me hate myself, it was in the aftermath of coming out to my family, but I didn’t. The sex we’d just had wasn’t a punishment. It was redemption.
My parents were gone, and with them, my extended family. All my life I’d assumed this would be the moment I felt more alone than ever, but even as the tears threatened, I was cuddled close to the amazing man who’d stubbornly refused to let me push him away. This morning could have played out so much differently, and I could have ended up as alone as I’d always imagined, but Hunter had put his foot down and said, “Like hell.”
I pulled him close and kissed the top of his head. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” He lifted himself up on his elbow and gazed in my eyes. “It’s going to be okay, you know.” He smoothed my sweat-dampened hair. “I know there’s a lot of shit happening, and you’re hurting in ways I can’t imagine. But eventually it’ll be okay.”
From anyone else, that might’ve come across as a stupid platitude. What the hell would they know?
But from Hunter, it was like a doctor telling me that while an injury hurt right now, it would heal. It would take time. The pain wouldn’t go away overnight. There would probably be scars. Like my knee, which had healed enough for me to function, even if it still gave me grief sometimes—the hell in the beginning was a distant memory, and it was just some aches and twinges now.
This too, I was beginning to realize, shall pass.
It’ll be okay. I’m not alone. People still love me.
And by some miracle I’ll always be thankful for, I didn’t lose you.
I nodded, caressing his cheek. “Yeah. I know it will.”
He kissed me softly, and his gentle smile almost broke me all over again.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “For not losing faith in me.”
“That wasn’t going to happen.” He shook his head. “You’ll have to work a lot harder than that to get rid of me.”
I laughed, gently pulling him to me, and as he settled on my shoulder with his arm across my stomach, I kissed his forehead again. For all the ways I’d fucked up in my life, I must have done something right to wind up with this man lying beside me.
I had no idea what the future held for us.
But here and now, I promised myself I would never push him away again. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to make him happy, and I just hoped he never gave up on me like I’d tried to so many times before.
Being with me is never going to be easy.
I just hope to God it’ll be worth it.
Chapter 28
Hunter
Daryl and Cathy were a godsend. They told us we could stay as long as we needed to, even after they left for work, and Scott and I spent the morning lounging naked in the guest room.
“How’s your head?” I asked after a while.
“It’s not bad.” Scott gingerly touched the bruise on his cheekbone. “This kind of hurts, though.”
I tsked and pushed his hand away. “So quit poking it.”
“Hey!” He laughed.
“I’m just saying. ‘Doc, it hurts when I do this.’ ‘Don’t do that.’”
Chuckling he rolled his eyes, but at least he quit prodding at the bruise. He seemed more relaxed now, too. Sleeping, showering, screwing, and showering again had probably helped. Coffee, too. There wasn’t much that coffee didn’t help.
Man, if I’d had a hot cup of coffee in my hand yesterday, things could have turned out very differently.
Okay, I wouldn’t actually throw a cup of hot liquid in someone’s face. At least I didn’t think I would. Maybe it was just as well I hadn’t had it when Scott’s dad had popped off or when he’d fucking hit him. God, what a dick. I was not a violent man by any means, but if we ever ran into that guy again, I might end up in jail.
I cuddled closer to Scott, and he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. I loved lying together like this, especially with his arm around me and his hand gently cupping my shoulder. I could get spoiled if we did this too much.
Scott’s phone chirped, and he swore. “Fuck. Now what?” Before I could suggest ignoring it, he grabbed the phone and glared at the screen, but then his expression changed to one of concern.
“What?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s my cousin.” He gently freed his arm, sat up, and started thumbing a message. “Danny. The kid I told you about.”
“Oh.” Well. That was unexpected. “What did he say?”
“He said he wants to see me. Like now.”
My heart jumped. “Is he okay?”
“I don’t know.” Scott got up and reached for his clothes. “But he’s on his way over.”
“Oh. Shit.” I got up too, and we both quickly got dressed. “Daryl won’t mind?”
“Nah, but I’ll text him to give him a heads up. He’ll be cool with it.”
Apparently Danny didn’t live too far away, because the doorbell rang about fifteen minutes later.
Scott let him in, and we all went into the Jensen family’s living room. They both sat on the couch, and I took the armchair closest to Scott.
Wow, those Deacon family genes were strong—Scott and Danny could have easily passed as brothers with a big age gap, or even father and son. Danny looked like what I imagined Scott must have in his teens. The same blue eyes and sandy blond hair. He had the same angular features, just a little softer and rounder since he was young. Of course he wasn’t as built as Scott either, and he still had some of that gangly teenager thing going on, but he was definitely a Deacon.
Scott briefly introduced us, though he understandably just referred to me as his friend. Then he turned to his cousin. “So what’s going on?”
On the couch beside Scott, Danny swallowed, folding and unfolding his hands. “Your dad called mine. He said…” The boy’s brow furrowed as if he were puzzled. “He said you came out?” His eyes flicked toward me and understanding seemed to dawn. “Are you… Are you gay?”
Scott nodded slowly, and as he reached for my hand, a soft smile curved his mouth, making my heart flutter. To his cousin, he said, “Yeah. I am.”
Danny stared at our joined hands for a second. “Whoa. But I thought you were… I mean, when our dads were talking shit, you were always…”
With a wince, Scott said, “I know. Because I bought into all their crap for a long, long time, and believe me, I paid for it.”
“You did?”
Scott dropped his gaze. “I’ve, um… I’ve known I was attracted to guys since I was a teenager.”
“What? But all the stuff you said… All the stuff you sat there and let them say…”
“I know,” Scott whispered. “The thing is, I grew up listening to that shit too, and that’s why I stayed in serious denial for a good twenty years. Going along with everything our dads said—that just made it easier to hate myself for wanting men and to tell myself I really didn’t.” He pushed out a ragged breath, and his voice wavered as he said, “I spent more than half my life hiding who I was, all because of that crap from our families. And I am so, so sorry I helped them pile it on you.”
Danny swallowed, then he laughed dryly, shaking his head. “Of all the people in the family who I thought might be gay too…”
Scott looked at him. “Huh?”
“I mean…” The kid shrugged. “For a long time, I figured I was probably the only one. But then I started thinking, our family is huge. Somebody’s gotta be gay besides me.”
“So…” Scott blinked. “So you are?”
Blushing, looking vaguely like he might throw up, Danny nodded. “Yeah. I am.”
“Holy shit,” Scott breathed. “Does… Does anyone else know?”
“Some of my friends. The ones I know will keep it quiet.”
“Wow.” Scott laughed humorlessly, avoiding Danny’s eyes and mine. “You’re ten steps ahead of me, kid. I couldn’t even tell myself until recently.”
“Seriously? That had to suck.”
Scott just nodded, but he didn’t speak.
“Man.” Danny shook his head. “I figured someone in the family… I mean, I just didn’t think it would be you. You hid it real good.”
“That was kind of the idea,” Scott admitted. “I went back and forth over the years between being in total denial and just trying really hard to hide. When I was trying to hide it, the best way around our family was to jump on the gay bashing bandwagon.” He grimaced. “It honestly never occurred to me that I was hurting someone else in the process.”
“You thought you were the only one too?”
Scott nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was shitty for both of us. I guess we both had to do whatever we could to get through it.” Danny scowled. “I still do.”
“Yeah.” Scott’s voice was full of resignation. “As much as I want to tell you to be out and proud, that’s probably not the way to go. You’re probably better off doing what you’re already doing. Keeping it on the downlow, I mean. At least for now.”
Danny’s face fell. “Yeah. I know. I really wish I could come out. I hate keeping this a secret, but I mean, my dad hates gay people more than yours does, and…” He gestured at Scott and the bruise on his cheek.
My blood turned cold. Seeing Scott’s dad take a swing at him had thrown me into a rage I’d never experienced before, and Scott was an athlete who took and gave punches on the ice all the time. The thought of a grown adult getting violent with this sweet, terrified kid who was half Scott’s size? I would lose my shit and not give a damn about the jailtime.
“I don’t blame you for not telling him,” Scott said to Danny. “There’s no shame in staying in the closet until you’re out on your own and aren’t relying on them for stability. But I also know how much it sucks.” He let go of my hand and touched Danny’s shoulder as he looked the boy right in the eyes. “Honestly, it’s completely up to you if you want to come out, or if you want to ride it out until after you’re out of your dad’s house. No one’s going to call you a coward if you wait until you’re eighteen, or whenever you’re ready. But if you do tell him, and your dad throws you out, you call me. Immediately. Got it?”
