Men of Nat Ex Boxset, page 26
part #2 of Men of NatEx Series
“Oh my god, no!” I whirl back around. “He’s never laid a hand on me like that.”
He throws his arms out to his sides, palms out. “Then what the fuck are you talking about? What happened?”
I take a few seconds to breathe and gather the words. They land right at the tip of my tongue, dying to unleash themselves on a willing ear. But, in the end, I can’t. I swallow them down, past the lump in my throat, as tears well in my eyes again.
“I want to tell you, but it needs to come from Mason,” I say instead. “Just trust me that—”
“Trust you?” he roars. “You don’t even tell me the truth!” His hands go to his hips as his chest rapidly rises and falls with each heavy breath.
Maybe someone else would be scared of how he’s acting, but I’m not. I’ve never been scared of Aidan’s actions—just his promises. Only his words and what they mean. How much I want them but can’t have them.
After I take a step forward, I reach a hand out and touch his arm. “I know,” I reassure him. “But I need you to do that for me, okay? This is Mason’s story to tell. His fuck-up. Not mine.”
He twitches out of my grip. “If I find out he hurt you—”
“He hasn’t done that. Ever. I swear.”
His eyes lock on mine as he searches my gaze for the truth. “But you’re not together even though he clearly thinks you are?”
Reluctantly, I shake my head.
“This is why I don’t believe you,” he says, backing away from me. “He never stopped touching you at the restaurant, and he watched you leave the table like he was scared you’d never come back. He’s head over fucking heels for you, Nic. So what the fuck are you talking about?”
“It takes two, Aidan.” I use his name since he used mine. “Two people make a relationship, and when one of them is no longer in it, it’s over.”
“So why doesn’t he know that?” He crosses his arms over his chest again, taking up a looming, powerful stance.
“Because I haven’t told him yet.”
His arms fly out to his sides before slapping against his legs. “What am I supposed to do with that? Why does that make it okay for you to kiss me?”
I close my eyes tight and pinch the bridge of my nose. “You’re right!” I yell too loudly in the small space. “You’re right, okay? I shouldn’t have done that, but I needed to know.”
There’s silence between us for a few moments. Then his voice fills the room.
“Know what?” he asks, his voice much lower and closer than it was before.
When I open my eyes, he’s only a few inches away from me. Goose bumps rise all over my uncovered skin, and it’s clear he notices when his eyes trail down my face to my chest. Then he looks at me again, the force of his intense gaze sending a chill down my spine.
“What do you need to know? That I still feel the way I did back then?” he questions, stepping even closer. “That I can’t sleep without dreaming about you? That I can’t look at another woman without thinking about you?” He brings his lips to my ear and whispers, “That I can’t fuck another woman without wishing she were you?”
That chill down my spine turns into a ripple of lust skidding throughout my entire body. Did he really just say that to me? And why, oh why, do I find it so damn sexy when it was such an asshole thing to do?
Oh, right. Because he’s Aidan and I’m inexplicably drawn to him, especially when he’s trying to get a rise out of me.
“Yeah, Aidan,” I say once I’ve recovered enough from his words. Only enough because completely isn’t an option with him. “That’s exactly what I needed to know.”
All too soon, he backs away from me and twists the door handle, opening the door. “Well, now you know. But as long as you’re with him,” he tells me as he leaves the room, “I can’t do this. If you want me, come and get me.”
“It’s not that simple.” I follow him out to the main room as he heads for the door. I try to reach for him, but he’s quicker than I am.
“I’m sure it’s not. But don’t use me as an excuse to leave your boyfriend.” Just before he reaches the door, he puts his hands up in a surrender position. “You have to do that shit all on your own.”
Aidan
Goddammit.
That woman. She gets under my skin. Inside my bones. So deep in my head that I’ll never get her out. Especially now that I know how she feels.
Wait. Do I know? She has me so fucked up that maybe I really don’t. Perhaps I have no damn clue.
All I know is she’s well aware that I still want her—but nothing will fucking happen while she still has my brother wrapped around her pretty little finger. I don’t know what the fuck he did to mess shit up with her, but he’ll regret it. And he won’t need me rubbing his face in it by taking her right out from under him. She needs to figure her shit out on her own, without me as the reason or excuse.
I’ll be here to help her pick the pieces up—and maybe I should have been clearer about that part. But she needs to figure out what she’s doing and let Mason know before knocking on my door.
When I get to my Jeep, I have no memory of the elevator ride down to the lobby. Or the walk here. I’m so caught up in the fact that she kissed me—finally, after all these years. Even though she shouldn’t have, I’ll have that memory forever.
And I almost can’t get home fast enough to relieve the ache it’s causing in my balls.
During the drive, I have to rearrange my pants to alleviate the strain against my dick. It’s almost shameful that I’m lusting over her—a taken woman—this much, but fuck. She’s the love of my damn life. So sue me if I end up with a hard-on after seeing her in such a state of undress after this long.
I park my car in my driveway, and when I get out, I realize how crooked it is. Oh fucking well. Before I explode, I need to get inside.
After running up the stairs to my bedroom, I strip out of my clothes and get straight into bed. The last thing I need to do is beat off while thinking of her. She’s not available. Not my girlfriend. Not even my best friend anymore. She’s not anything but my brother’s woman until one of them says otherwise. But fuck. I might go off just from the light caress of my sheets.
Maybe a cold shower will get me the hell over this.
In the bathroom, I turn the water on and step in. It feels like ice pouring over me at first, which sends all the right “back the fuck down” signals to my dick. However, as soon as the water starts to warm up, the erection returns with a vengeance. So do thoughts of Nic’s lips on mine, her scantily clad body pressed up against me, her breasts spilling out of the top of her bra.
I will myself to remember she was crying. She was upset. So I have no right to recall these images of her in a sexy way. It’s wrong to picture anything more happening between us as if I hadn’t done the right thing and pushed her away.
Yet I still do.
I just can’t help myself now that I’m alone. Wet. Naked. Hard.
So I close my eyes and let the images overtake me, gripping my dick and sliding my hand up and down at the same time. With one hand braced against the wall of the shower, I pump into my fist and picture what could have been if I’d let her keep kissing me.
In my new version of events, my hands go to her back so I can unhook her bra. It falls to the floor while I caress her soft skin and deepen the kiss. After that, I press her to me, her nipples hardening as they rub against my chest. My hands go into her hair as I kiss down her neck, and I tug on the long strands of her ponytail to find better access to her skin. When she moans, I nearly lose all semblance of control and suck too hard, almost giving her a hickey. But she squirms away just in time and darts her hands to my pants.
Before she can take them off, I grip her hips and lift her up onto the bathroom counter. There, she sits, wraps her legs around me, and squeezes me so hard that my erection digs into her panty-covered folds. But I don’t want anything between us anymore, so I tug her panties down her legs and drop them on top of her discarded bra. This time when her hands go to my zipper, I let her finish the job.
Once I’ve kicked out of my pants, I slip my shirt over my head and go back to kissing her. Five seconds was too long to be away from her, even though there’s no brother possibly on his way back to her in my vision. It’s just the two of us, and we can’t get enough of each other.
I press wet kisses all down her neck until I reach her breasts. When I suck a nipple into my mouth, she moans and throws her head back, just missing the mirror behind her. Which gives me an idea.
Gripping her hips again, I pick her up off the counter and spin her around so she’s facing the mirror. So she can see who’s about to fuck her. So she can watch the pleasure wash over her face and know just who’s making her come. And so, when I’m finally inside her, I can watch her soft breasts bounce with each thrust.
Which is exactly what happens.
I remove my boxers, spread her legs, and find her dripping wet and ready for me. Then I trail one hand up her back and press her forward just enough so her bottom sticks out and I can access her better. That hand goes to the counter to brace myself, and once I’ve lined myself up with her opening, I easily slide inside her. Her warmth envelops my dick, and she clamps down on me when I pause, fully pressed within her. When I wrap my arm around her middle and thrust again, she finds my gaze in the mirror, holding it while I fuck her from behind.
Her moans spur me on, and her eyes often flutter closed and then open again as pleasure overtakes her. She keeps herself upright with both hands gripping the counter, but one slips after a particularly hard thrust. Then she finds her grasp again.
As I pump into her, the fingers I have against her skin drift down and find her clit. The moment I start rubbing, her breath comes faster and faster. So I play around with rhythm both inside her and within her folds, finding the one that gets us both there at the same time. In a frantic, powerful explosion, we both climax. She screams my name, and I duck my head and grunt against her back, stilling my thrusts and my finger right on her clit to ride the orgasm out.
But, in reality, I’m coming all over my shower faucet, not inside her. In reality, there’s no Nic with me. In reality, she’s still with my brother, still unavailable, and still not mine.
In reality, I’m alone and ashamed of what I’ve just done.
So I stay in the shower until the water runs cold. Then I dry off, put pajamas on, and stare at the ceiling for half the night. When I close my eyes, I see her. Either she’s naked and riding my cock or she’s crying in my arms. And I can’t bear the thought of letting my mind wander off on its own and dream.
At some point, sleep wins. I drift off and don’t even see her in my dreams. Instead, I see my brother, who’s mad at me for fucking his girlfriend. The news gets back to my mom, who is so disappointed in me that she cancels our regular Thursday calls forever. Then Jeremy and Matt find out and the only friends I have here don’t want me hanging around with them anymore for fear I might fuck their girlfriends. Which is absolutely absurd in real life, but this dream feels so damn real.
And that is all the reminder I need to stay the hell away from Mason and Nic until they figure their shit out.
7
Aidan
As soon as I get to work, Matt finds me and gives me that look. The one that says You know exactly what I expect tonight after work and don’t even try to get out of it. I wave him off. I don’t have the energy or the desire to get into it all now, especially after what happened after he left the bakery. And, when I get to my truck, I get the same shit from Jeremy, who looks exhausted. Three more days of this double-shift thing and he’s done, but he looks ready to throw the towel in now.
“You know where I’ll be when you’re done with work,” he says around a yawn. “I better see your ugly mug there, because we need that story, man.”
“Yeah, well…” I help him close the back of my truck. “More happened last night and I’m even more confused, so we’ll see.”
“Confused about what?” he asks. “She’s your brother’s girlfriend. I think you need to leave it alone.”
I raise one eyebrow at him. “Would you have left Amelia alone if she’d been Matt’s girlfriend?”
He opens his mouth to answer, but nothing comes out.
So I keep going. “In fact, she thought you were engaged and she didn’t really leave you alone, so…”
With his hands up in the air, he says, “Okay, okay. But fuck, dude.” He sighs. “That’s your brother. It’s gonna mess shit up.”
“I think he did that on his own,” I mumble to myself as I make my way to the driver’s side.
“He what?” Jeremy questions, following behind me.
I lean back against the side of the truck. “I don’t know.” Shrugging, I say, “Last night, she said they’re not really together because of something he did.”
His head reels back as if he’s in shock. “That asshole didn’t hit her, did he?”
Smirking, I shake my head. “No, but I had that same reaction. Looked her over head to toe, but I didn’t see anything.”
Now, he squints at me. “Wait, what do you mean you looked her over head to toe?” Then he takes a looming step toward me and raises an eyebrow. “Exactly how much of her did you see last night?”
“A lot.” I wave a hand at him. “But not like that. She said they’re not together but some shit about how he doesn’t know that yet, so I left.”
Jeremy puts his hands on his hips and whistles. “You walked away after seeing ‘a lot’ of her?” He uses air quotes. “Man.” Shaking his head, he stares at the ground. Then he flicks his gaze back to me. “You’re stronger than I am.”
I scoff at him and get into the driver’s seat. There’s no way he’d say that if he knew what kind of thoughts I had in the shower last night. But I’m not telling him that. I’m not telling anyone about that.
So all I say is, “It’s not strength, Jeremy. Believe me, I nearly lost control with her. I said some things I…” Those exact things float across my brain, shame and lust hitting me equally as I remember how she reacted to my provoking words. “I shouldn’t have said those things to her, but I’m not the runner up here. I’m not the consolation prize.”
I won’t be the man she runs to because the man she’s with isn’t working out. I won’t be who she’s with next because I’m available and willing. I want her to be with me because she wants to be with me. Not because she doesn’t want to be with Mason or because she needs help getting out of a relationship. I’m not an excuse.
And I won’t be made one.
“I know what you mean,” Jeremy tells me, running a hand through his hair. “But does she know that?”
I fill my lungs with as much air as I can. Doesn’t feel like much after the night I had, but it’ll have to do. “Honestly, I have no idea anymore.”
Unlike yesterday, the workday dragged ass. Today, I actually want to talk this out. I’ve never been one to unload my problems on other people. In fact, I’ve never been one to talk much period. But it’s like I can’t seem to stop myself now. Shit’s so fucked up that words want to spill right out of me. I almost wanted to someone on my route what happened last night when he thanked me for delivering his package. So I’ve patiently had to wait for this day to end so I can meet up with Matt and Jeremy at Amelia’s bakery.
But then I remember that Nic was there yesterday when we tried to meet up. So I decide we need to go somewhere she definitely won’t be.
When I get to Matt’s house, Cadence answers the door. “Hi! Matthew’s going to be a little late,” she says as he hugs me. “He went to pick up Dani before he realized Jeremy could just bring her here, so they’ll all be here soon.”
When she lets me go, I take in the boxes stacked in their living room. She catches me looking at them and sighs.
“Only a week and a half before these boxes will be gone!” she tells me.
I point to them. “Stuff for the wedding?”
“Favors, decorations…” She trails off as she walks to the kitchen. “It’s all so much!”
“But it’ll all be worth it, right?” I ask as I follow her.
With her hand on the refrigerator handle, she spins to face me. “Oh my gosh, yes.” She pulls two water bottles out of the fridge. “This is going to be everything my first wedding wasn’t. Especially since the man I’m marrying is a much better partner for me.”
She smiles as she hands me a bottle, and I smile back, but it’s an absentminded gesture. Something about her words isn’t sitting right. They strike a nerve with me, but I can’t put a finger on why.
“Well,” I start, trying to let it go, “Matt’s never been happier, so I’m glad you gave him a shot.”
After pulling a barstool out from under the breakfast bar, she sits and sighs happily. “He makes me feel the same way. And I realized I never felt that with my ex, you know? I was excited to get married, build a life with someone I could rely on, and live the dream.” Her thumb absently picks at the label on the bottle. “But I wasn’t excited to marry him. And that’s how I know this is different with Matthew. I get to be with him but be myself too. That’s important to me, and I didn’t get that with my ex-husband.”
While she untwists the cap to her water bottle, a realization hits me like a wave. I noticed how un-Nic Nic is now. Yeah, we all change, but she’s nothing like the woman she wanted to be when I first got to know her. And I wonder if she’s the woman she wants to be now.
Mason was always more willing to take risks and put himself out on the line. Whereas I was calculated, way more careful. I thought things through before I did them. Which meant Mason got more done, accomplished more, and had more to show for his life. More, seemingly, to offer Nic. By the time I’d thought it all out and planned my next move, he’d already made his and she’d accepted his offer.
