Sleepless November (Sleepless November Saga Book 1), page 8
“What are you doing to me?” He asks, studying my face intently while his thumb rubs my cheek gently.
I don’t have a moment to question what he means, because he pulls me down and presses our lips together. The kiss is slow and sweet – the kind you see in movies. He pulls away and looks at me, eyes glistening with something I don’t recognize.
A knock at the door interrupts the moment. Holden groans, kissing me once more before rolling me off him, getting up, and walking over to the door.
“Hey, you disappeared.” A female voice says. I can’t see who it is because he’s blocking the door, but I recognize the voice as the slutty nurse.
“Sorry. My friend needed me.” He answers.
Friend, right. We’re just friends.
“Well, can I come in? We can make up for it.”
He laughs humorlessly and leans against the doorway. “Not tonight, Anna. I’ll see you around.”
“It’s Ally.”
Holden shuts the door despite the protests coming from the girl on the other side. I can’t help but laugh as he walks over to the bed.
“What’s so funny?” He asks, amused.
I raise my eyebrows. “I can leave if you want. She seems like such a high-quality girl.”
He throws his head back in laughter. “You’re not going anywhere.” Climbing into bed, he wraps his arms around me tightly.
“Aw, you sure? Ally, Anna, Banana - whatever the hell her name is - might be your soulmate!” I joke.
He tickles me, causing me to push back into him. “Goodnight, Kayleigh.” He presses a kiss to my shoulder.
“Goodnight, Holden.”
We fall asleep tangled up in each other, and all the stress and anxiety of my mother being in town dissipates.
THE MORNING COMES ENTIRELY way too soon. Holden and I get up early enough that I can head back to the dorms before the rest of the guys wake up. He forces one of his hoodies on me, not taking no for an answer. The two of us make small talk in the car, and he makes me promise that I’ll come to him if any more problems occur. He drops me off out of view of any dorm windows, and after a quick kiss goodbye, I’m walking through the crisp morning air and into my building.
I show my ID to security and compose a quick text to my mom in the elevator, apologizing for leaving last night and saying that we should meet for lunch. I press send as the elevator doors open and walk down the hallway toward my room.
As soon as I open the door, I’m stopped dead in my tracks. Sitting on Bree’s bed are my mother and Taylor, both comforting my very distraught roommate.
“Bree? What’s wrong?” I ask.
All three of them look up and glare at me.
“You’re what’s wrong.” Bree spits. “You’re hooking up with Holden.”
Chapter Twelve
My stomach drops and I feel as if I’m going to be sick. I don’t know whether to deny it, or try to explain. This is not the way I wanted her to find out about this. Hell, I don’t think I wanted her to find out at all.
“Bree, it’s not what you think.” I plead.
Her expression goes from upset to enraged. “You’re seriously going to lie to my face about it?! Taylor saw you!”
I spare a glance at Taylor, and instantly want to slap that smug look right off her face.
“I’m not lying. You have to listen to me.”
Taylor stands up and pushes me backward. “She doesn’t have to do anything. I saw you and Holden, last night, going up to his room. Are you saying that’s not true?”
I stand there gaping - opening and closing my mouth trying to figure out what to say. “I mean, it is, but it’s not… there’s nothing going on between us.”
“Then where were you last night? Because I know it wasn’t with your mom.” Bree accuses.
I look down at my feet and sigh. Then, I notice it. I’m still wearing Holden’s sweatshirt. Fuck.
“I slept at Holden’s, but we didn’t do anything.”
Bree rolls her eyes as Taylor scoffs and shakes her head. My mother stays silent, just rubbing Bree’s back.
“Get out.” It’s hardly above a whisper, but I hear it.
“But, this is my room. You can’t do that!”
She looks up and glares at me. “I said get out. I’m not going to have this discussion with you while you’re wearing my ex-boyfriend’s clothes, so go.”
“Where am I supposed to go?”
She laughs dryly. “To be honest, I don’t really care.”
I run my fingers through my hair, frustrated. “Can’t you just listen to me?! I can explain!”
“She doesn’t want to listen. What she wants, is for you to leave. So, leave.” Taylor shoos me away with her hand.
Tears spring to my eyes as I stand here, feeling completely alone. My mother still hasn’t said a word. “Mom?”
She looks up at me and shakes her head. “Maybe you should just go for now.”
“Unbelievable.” I scoff.
I grab a bag out from under my bed and quickly go over to my dresser, stuffing clothes into it without really paying attention. There are many things I’m willing to do, but crying in front of Taylor is not one of them. As soon as I’m done, I grab my computer and shove it into the bag with the clothes. Before I leave, I take one last pause near Bree, but she won’t even look at me.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper, and then I’m gone, tears falling as soon as I’m out of view.
I COULD HAVE CALLED Holden to come pick me up, but to be honest I want to be alone. I take out my phone and send him a quick text, asking if I can come back over soon. I’d hate to walk all the way there only for him to not be home. My phone buzzes a few moments later, notifying me of a text from him.
Holden: Just can’t get enough can you? 😜
Kidding. Sure babe.
I want to laugh, really, I do - but I can’t. Not even the term of endearment can bring a smile to my face right now. I may have lost the only friend I have here, and maybe even my dorm along with it. I don’t know what I’m going to do.
The walk to Holden’s isn’t very long, but it feels like it takes forever. Still, it’s beautiful. The leaves on the trees are so many shades of red, orange, and yellow – the picture-perfect definition of autumn. Traces of toilet paper from mischief night lie forgotten on the ground, but it doesn’t tarnish the view. It’s just one of the many reasons why fall is my favorite season.
The wind blows coldly, causing me to pull the hood over my head and tuck my face into the sweatshirt. It smells like jasmine, and honeysuckle, and Holden. I let the smell infiltrate my senses, and somehow, it manages to calm me a little. Yet, all thoughts of Holden are tainted with visions of a heartbroken Brianna.
BY THE TIME I reach Kappa Delta Phi, everyone seems to have woken up – even though most of them went to sleep just a few hours ago. Five guys run down the stairs and all climb into an SUV, while the pledges clean up the mess from the party last night. I look around at the cups and cans that are scattered across the lawn.
How do they not get in trouble for this?
A whistle brings my attention to the door. Holden leans against the doorway with his arms crossed, dressed in black sweatpants and a matching hoodie. He smiles brightly, but when I don’t smile back his expression changes.
I walk up the steps and in the door, trying to slip past him, but he gets in my way.
“Move, please.” I murmur.
He ducks his head down to look at me when I won’t make eye contact. “Have you been crying?”
I shake my head and look away, using the sleeve to wipe my eye. “Can we just go to your room?”
He doesn’t move until I look at him, but thankfully, he doesn’t fight me on this. He steps to the side so I’m able to go past him and up the stairs.
“I’ll be right up.”
I don’t answer him. Instead, I go into his room and shut the door as soon as I get there. I don’t need anyone seeing me like this. I take a closer look at the pictures on his mirror. They’re all of him and Bree. One is a strip from a photo booth. They’re your typical poses – one silly face, one nice one, one of her kissing his cheek, etc. They genuinely look happy, so I don’t understand what went wrong.
You. You’re what went wrong.
I try to rid myself of the negativity. This isn’t my fault. I tried to back off, and I tried to tell him no, but he wouldn’t listen. He went and broke up with her on his own. I had nothing to do with that, and now I’m the one who loses out.
“Everything okay?” Holden asks hesitantly, stepping closer and handing me a bottle of water.
I shake my head, not even bothering to thank him for the beverage. After I take a long sip, I close the bottle and put it on the desk.
“She knows.”
He furrows his brows. “Could you try adding some context to that? Maybe a noun, a verb, an adverb even.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re not dense, Holden. She. Knows. Brianna. As in your ex, my roommate. She knows about us.”
“Are you sure?”
Seriously, he makes me want to scream. “Yes! Unless I imagined her and Taylor screaming at me this morning when I walked in the door, I’m sure.”
Holden winces. “Fuck. Taylor! I forgot she was here last night.”
“Yeah, well. She saw us coming up here and made sure to tell Bree all about it.”
He looks at me and pouts in the way that always causes me to melt. “That sucks, babe. Do you want to go grab breakfast?”
What? Did he just-? “Do I want to grab breakfast?!”
“Yeah. What’s wrong with that?”
I glare at him as if he’s grown a second head. “Are you kidding me?! My entire world is falling apart because of you, and you just blow it off like it’s nothing?!”
He’s taken back by my words but then turns cold. “Because of me?! I’m sorry Bree found out, but this isn’t only because of me.”
“Yes, it is! I tried to back off. I tried to walk away!”
“But you came back! No one forced you to be here! No one made you hook up with me for weeks. You did that all on your own. We are both to blame for this, but don’t you dare put it all on me.” He spits.
I take off his sweatshirt and throw it down on the bed. “Fuck you. You started this. You kissed me, remember? You kept coming onto me.”
He laughs humorlessly. “Oh, and you were just so resistant. Face it, Kayleigh, you’re just as much at fault as I am. And besides, Bree and I aren’t even together anymore, so what the hell does she have to be upset about?!”
“Because I’m supposed to be her friend! Friends don’t fuck their friend’s boyfriend!”
“Ex-boyfriend.” He corrects me.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “That doesn’t matter.”
He leans against his desk and messing around with his phone. His passive attitude strikes a nerve.
“Really? You’re just going to sit on your phone while my entire freshman year falls apart? I don’t even know where I’m going to live, but you don’t seem to give a shit. As long as it doesn’t change anything for you, everything is fucking peachy.”
Holden looks up from his phone, his expression perplexed. “I don’t know what your deal is, but stop taking it out on me. I’m not the enemy here.”
A dry laugh leaves my mouth. “Could’ve fooled me. Coming here was a mistake.”
I push past him and out into the hallway, ignoring the calls of my name from behind me. I run down the stairs and straight to the door, almost ramming directly into Caleb on my way out.
“Woah, you okay? What are you doing here?” He asks.
I shake my head and dodge him. “Not now, Caleb.”
“Kayleigh!” Holden calls again from the top of the stairs.
I run outside and start walking down the block - back toward campus. I’m freezing, since I’m no longer wearing Holden’s sweatshirt, and I left the bag I packed in his room. I can’t go back for it. I won’t. But where can I go? I can’t go back to my dorm for obvious reasons, and now I can’t even go to Holden’s.
What am I going to do?
Why did I have to go and get involved with Holden Rivers? There’s a reason I’ve never liked him. He’s arrogant and narcissistic. He selfishly puts himself above everyone else, and he doesn’t care about anyone. Except for when he does, like when he went running with me just because he didn’t want me going alone. And when he left the party he was so excited for simply because I needed him.
A horn blows next to me, pulling me from my inner turmoil. I expect to see Holden’s car, but it’s not.
“Get in.” Caleb yells through the window of his truck.
I shake my head. “I said not now, Caleb!”
He turns the music down. “Look, you can throw whatever fit you want, but at least do it where you’re not going to get pneumonia. Let me drive you somewhere.”
As much as I don’t want to be near anyone right now, he’s right. It may be a bit of an exaggeration, but I’m freezing and the last thing I need is to get sick.
I reluctantly climb into the truck and mumble a quiet thank you. As I’m buckling my seatbelt, Caleb pulls back onto the road.
“Where do you want me to take you?” He questions carefully.
I hesitate. I don’t want to tell him about what’s going on, but I can’t tell him to take me home.
“The coffee shop on campus.” I answer. It’s close enough to the dorms so I can go back after Bree is asleep.
He starts to head in that direction, and turns up the heat when I shiver.
“So, you and Holden, huh?”
I roll my eyes. “Please don’t. I’ve had enough yelling at me for one day.”
“Oh, no. I’m not going to yell at you.” He puts his hands up in defense, even though he should be steering.
“You’re not?”
He shakes his head, placing his hands back on the wheel. “Why would I? Holden’s a good guy.” I sarcastically hum in acknowledgement. “No, really. I mean he may be a bit of an asshole at times, but he’s a good dude.”
I don’t respond, afraid of saying something I don’t mean. Thankfully, the ride isn’t very long. What would have taken me at least a half hour to walk, only took a couple minutes to drive. As Caleb pulls up next to the coffee shop, I thank him again and open the door.
“Oh, and Kayleigh?”
I stop. “Yeah?”
“For what it’s worth, I’ve never seen Holden as happy as he has been the past couple of weeks.”
That’s the first thing to make me smile today. Although, it doesn’t change the fact that he was out of line. I shut the truck door and enter the coffee shop quickly, trying to avoid the cold. As I approach the counter, I order my favorite – tea with milk and extra sugar. After I get my drink, I go sit down at a table and begin scrolling through social media on my phone.
AS NIGHT FALLS, I’M just finishing up one of my assignments. After I had spent an hour on my phone, I texted Caleb and asked him to bring me my laptop from the bag in Holden’s room. Thankfully, he did it without hesitation. It may not have been the place I wanted to spend my day, but I got a lot of work done.
I’m typing the last of my references on an essay when the male barista comes up to me. His brown hair is styled in a surfer cut, and his blue eyes have more of a teal tint to them. He looks like he can’t be much older than I am.
“Do you always spend the entire day in a coffee house?”
I’m taken back a little. “Do you always ask questions that are really none of your business?”
He grins broadly and reaches his hand out. “Sassy, I like you. I’m Dawson, and you are?”
I hesitantly reach forward and shake his hand. “Kayleigh.”
“So, Kayleigh, what are you trying to avoid?” He asks as he starts cleaning the table next to mine.
“What do you mean?”
He finishes wiping down the table, then pulls out a chair and sits across from me. “Well, people who stay here all day either don’t want to accept the fact that they got stood up, or they’re avoiding something.”
I rest my arms on the table and lean forward. “What if I got stood up?”
He waves me off dismissively. “Nah, you’re not the type. You would have left by now.”
I chuckle softly, knowing he’s right. When he sits there waiting for an answer, I finally give in. “I hooked up with my roommate’s ex-boyfriend and she found out. So, I have to wait until she’s asleep before I can sneak back into my dorm.”
“Ouch.” Dawson hisses. “That’s rough.”
Somehow, the two of us end up in a deep conversation that lasts two hours. I learn that he has a girlfriend back home, and he’s a freshman here as well. I end up confiding in Dawson, telling him everything that has happened between Bree, Holden, and I – sans eating disorder, of course. Normally, I wouldn’t share information in such a public place, but the coffee shop is almost completely barren except for the two of us. He makes me see that I may have overreacted a bit and I was wrong to blame all of this on Holden.
By the time I leave, Dawson gives me his number and makes me promise I’ll text him and let him know what happens. I smile happily, feeling a little less alone in this place. As I walk back to my dorm, my phone vibrates. I had forgotten I’ve been ignoring text messages from my mother and Holden all day.
I shake my head, not reading any of their messages, and type a quick reply to each of them.
Me: I’m ok. We’ll talk tomorrow.
I put my phone back in my pocket, not willing to stress myself out any more today. My talk with Dawson has left me feeling in a much better mood, and I’d rather hold onto that.
When I get back to the dorm, it’s a little after eleven. The darkness of the room tells me that Bree is sound asleep. I tiptoe over to my bed and climb in, drifting off almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.
Chapter Thirteen
