The Rules We Break (The Alphaletes Book 4), page 3
He thought I didn’t know who he was, which is fine. I wasn’t really interested in getting to know Trevor Michaels or anything. I grew up hearing my dad ramble on about him ever since he played for Brighton University. Last night I was really only interested in what he could do for me, though. Which turned out to be a free drink and a couple of orgasms, so I’d say he was an hour or so well spent.
I think he expected me to stick around, turn into a stage-five clinger or something, but that’s not me. I’m not naïve enough to think men want anything more from me than enough time to get it up and get off. The few that do want more, I end up having to let them down. I’m not built like that, I don’t do feelings and relationships and all of that stuff. Not anymore.
It’s kinda weird to be back in Seattle. I was born and raised here, and though I was only gone for a little over two years, it feels like a lifetime ago. My dad was happy to help me get settled back in Seattle, after he gave me a three-hour lecture about how he was right and I was wrong, which was just a ball of fun. But after I endured that painful dinner, I left with an apartment leased in my name, a good-paying job, and a second chance. One I don’t plan on wasting.
I begin washing away the smeared makeup from last night when my phone buzzes with an incoming FaceTime. I glance at who is calling before I answer as I continue washing my face.
“Bitch, did you forget to take off your makeup again last night?” Calista cackles through the phone.
I shoot her an irritated look before I roll my eyes. “Fuck off. I didn’t get back until late.”
“Ooo,” she says with a waggle of her eyebrows. “Did you finally break that dry spell of yours and get some dick?”
I raise an unimpressed eyebrow at her as I begin moisturizing.
“I wouldn’t necessarily call a week a dry spell, Cal,” I snark.
“I would. That’s a fucking lifetime.” She laughs as a family sitting behind her looks at her in disdain.
“Will you quit talking about dick in a coffee shop? You’re traumatizing children,” I laugh.
She shrugs, seemingly unbothered as she adjusts her leather cut. Well, technically it’s her man’s, but still.
“So, how are you?” she asks, her voice lowering and tone softening.
I start to give her a bright smile before it slowly fades. I’m an excellent liar, a great bullshitter. Not with Calista, though. We practically lived together for two years. She knows everything about me. The good and the really bad.
“I’m better. Just a little—”
“On edge?” she questions.
I roll my lips together and nod. I watch as her eyes dart around the coffee shop before she leans closer to the phone, dropping her voice to a full-on whisper.
“He hasn’t talked about you in a few weeks. Hammer said he’s been strangely calm about the whole thing. He’s even had Britt practically glued to his cock.”
I swallow roughly at that as I nod. Hammer is Calista’s husband and probably one of the only good ones. He’s always treated me like a sister, always tried to help when he was allowed to, but unfortunately, he couldn’t always protect me. Britt is one of the club girls who would constantly hang around, always hoping to be more than just a way to kill time for the guys. I never cared for her but to hear that she’s been linked up with him actually makes me feel sympathy for her.
“I like the black,” Calista says, very horribly transitioning topics.
I run my hand through the box-dyed hair and nod. “It’s definitely better than the blue.”
Calista wrinkles her nose up at the reminder. When I dyed my hair robin egg blue, it was cute for all of two days. Then it faded into this gross blueish green and practically fried my hair. I had to stop dying it for months just to get some length back. I’ve always changed the color of my hair, practically to any color of the rainbow, usually just depending on my mood. Before I left, though, I knew it was time for a change—a less recognizable one, just in case.
“I’ll call you soon, okay?” Calista says.
I nod. “Make sure you delete our call history, just to be sure.”
“Always,” she sighs. “I miss you.”
My heart pangs at her words. Calista is almost twelve years older than me, but it never felt like that. She wasn’t just a best friend. She was like a sister. It almost killed me to leave her behind, knowing that I may never see her in person again. I knew I didn’t have a choice, though.
“Miss you too. Talk soon,” I say, emotion clogging my throat as I speak.
She gives me a sad smile and blows a kiss before the call ends. Blowing out a tired breath, I glance up to look in the mirror, my hands white knuckling the porcelain sink as I stare at myself.
Twenty years old, and I swear to God I’ve already lived enough life to be in my early forties at least. With that depressing thought in mind, I go about my morning routine before heading to the store to load up on supplies for the week. I won’t have time soon since I’m starting work on Monday. Not sure what to expect from the job in all honesty. It’s a great opportunity, but it isn’t exactly my passion. I think Dad just gave me the job because he saw the others hiring in that position and thought he’d jump on the trend. Whatever, I’ll ride it out while I can, save as much as I can and then get on my feet and the hell out of Seattle.
Trevor
Itry to ignore the heavy tension in the air as I take a bite of my chicken. The table is near silent, just sounds of clanking silverware and the occasional protest from one of the twins about eating their food.
“Baby girl,” Sebastian says patiently to Rosalie who is currently crossing her arms, refusing to take a bite of her broccoli. “If you don’t eat your broccoli, you won’t grow up to be big and strong.”
“I don’t want to grow,” she grumbles while Daphne happily munches away on her broccoli, avoiding her mashed potatoes like the plague.
Sebastian lets out an exasperated sigh, and I jump in before I can think better of it.
“Rosie, if you eat all of your broccoli, I’ll take you out for ice cream soon.”
She perks up at that, her bright red curls tumbling around her face as she turns to me.
“Really? You promise, Uncle Trev?”
I smile at her, her bright green eyes wide with hope.
“Of course, but you have to eat it all with no more fuss, okay?”
She nods excitedly and starts plowing through the green vegetable. A soft warm feeling takes up residence in my chest. That is until my eyes collide with Sebastian’s. They are filled with anger and irritation as I watch him clench his fist on top of the table before gritting his teeth together.
“You can’t just take my daughter out to ice cream for eating her vegetables, Trevor. She needs to eat them without incentive.”
“I was just trying to hel—”
“Well, don’t,” he snaps in a tone that has that warm feeling shriveling up instantly, a pang of annoyance filling me instead. I nod as I look down at my plate, tightening my own jaw so I don’t do something stupid like call him out for being a fucking prick in front of the girls. I hear Erica’s soft, defeated sigh, and it hurts to know I’m the cause for her frustration. At least partially.
I glance at her out of the corner of my eye. Just enough so that I can see her but not enough that anyone would notice. I’ve practically perfected the move at this point. Ten years of watching my old best friend marry the love of my life, watching them have babies and build a life together. It wasn’t like I could stare at her the way I used to.
At least, I try not to.
I’ve contemplated cutting Erica out of my life more times than I’d care to admit. The pain is too much to deal with some days. I question if her friendship is worth it. The constant ache in my chest when I’m around her is disrupting, frustrating, and agonizing because I know that if it was ever meant to go away, it would have by now. Erica Pembrooke is my great love, my soul mate, and she’s married to someone else. As fate would have it, Erica is the love of my life, but I’m not hers, and that’s been a real fucking hard pill to swallow.
So instead of being her husband, I’m her best friend. Instead of being the father of her children, I’m their “uncle.” In all the times I’ve imagined cutting ties with Erica, I’ve come to my senses almost instantly. Having Erica in any capacity of my life is worth everything, so no matter how uncomfortable things are between me and Sebastian, no matter how hard it is to push down my feelings, I do it, happily, for her.
We finish up dinner and like the great team they are, they divide and conquer. Sebastian takes on getting the girls’ teeth brushed and putting them to bed while Erica cleans up from dinner. I volunteer to help her and soon we are rinsing dishes and loading them into the dishwasher. We are silent for a little while before she speaks.
“I’ve missed you, Trev. It’s good to have you here in town.” She smiles softly as she hands me a dish.
I smile back at her, those bright green eyes practically staring into my soul as I do.
“I’ve missed you. So fucking much, Little Red.”
“Ugh,” she groans on a laugh. “Not the nickname. When are you gonna let that drop?” she says as her hand comes up to push against my chest.
I catch it before she can pull away, smiling at her as I bring our faces close to one another.
“Never.”
Her smile slowly drops, her eyes flicking back and forth between my eyes and my lips. The look alone has my heart jack hammering in my chest, my stomach flipping as I slowly reach for the cup in her other hand, setting it down on the counter before resting my hand on the soft curve of her hip, her hand still captive in my grasp against my chest.
“Trevor,” she whispers hoarsely.
I almost don’t respond, letting the soft lilt of her voice saying my name wash over me. Maybe if I don’t respond, she’ll say it again. The look of fear, curiosity, and something that resembles want in her eyes has me answering, though.
“Yeah, Little Red?”
“Y-you should probably let me go,” she says softly, her own words sounding so unsure.
She’s right, I should. I know I should. But I can’t help but lean into this reaction Erica is having to me. One I haven’t seen in years. One I’ve been desperate for, longer than I could tell you.
“Should I?” I ask quietly, tightening my grip on both her hand and waist as if that will somehow keep her tethered to me. That it will somehow preserve this magic bubble we’ve found ourselves in.
Her breath hitches as I pull her toward me, just an inch or two. Enough for her chest to brush against mine, her head tilting up slightly to maintain eye contact with me. The hem of her T-shirt rises up just slightly, exposing a sliver of her creamy skin. My thumb rubs against the exposed skin before I can help myself, relishing the smooth feel of her.
I expect her to push me away, maybe even slap me and kick me out. I’m crossing lines here. I know it, I can feel it. But I’ve spent too goddamn long dreaming of this, practically desperate for just a moment, just one single moment, where she doesn’t push me away after hugging me. Where she doesn’t break eye contact because she feels Sebastian’s eyes on us. So, as much of a piece of shit as it makes me, I hold her that much closer, hoping to soak in this moment just a little longer.
“Yes?” she breathes, the word sounding like a confused question rather than a statement.
Leaning forward, I bend down slightly until my mouth is only a few inches from her.
“Do you want me to let you go, Little Red?” I ask, purposefully letting my breath brush against her full red lips.
I hear her breath hitch once more, her chest now heaving as it rises and falls against mine. She closes her eyes as she speaks.
“We can’t,” she sighs sorrowfully, like the words pain her to say as much as they pain me to hear.
This is where a good man would pull away, let the married woman go, and berate himself later for being so slimy. When it comes to Erica, though, I just don’t have that kind of self-control. Not when she feels it too.
“I love you,” I say in a whisper as I bring my mouth closer to hers.
Her eyes are still closed as I wrap my arm around her lower back, pulling her until she’s flush against me. She whimpers at the move, her hips involuntarily grinding against me for a moment as she does.
“Trev.”
“I love you,” I say again, determined not to let this moment slip between my fingertips, only an inch separating our lips now.
“I can’t,” she practically begs, like she doesn’t have the will to stop this. Like she needs me to do it for her.
I pull her in a little more, my hand resting just above her perfect ass, keeping her flush against me as my lips barely touch hers while I speak.
“I. Love. You.”
As if the wall she’d been building to hide her feelings for me has come crashing down in one move, she closes the remaining distance between us. Her lips are on mine, tongue stroking against me as she jumps into my arms. I catch her easily, encouraging her to wrap her legs around me as I hold her so tight, I fear I’ll break her.
I can’t believe it. I’m kissing Erica again after all this time. She tastes so goddamn sweet. Like she always did. Maybe better. I’m practically ravenous, desperate to take everything and anything she offers me right now. I feel her body wiggle against me, giving us that friction we both crave, silently begging me for what we both need.
I swipe the kitchen island clean before laying her down, her red hair fanning out around her like the halo of an angel. My angel. My Little Red.
“Trevor. I need—”
“I know what you need, baby. I need it too,” I say, emotion tightening my throat as I quickly pull down her yoga pants and panties, exposing her beautifully bare pussy to me. Goddamn, I never thought I’d see this sight again.
I undo my pants pulling my cock out to see I’m already leaking pre-cum. Fuck, I’ve never needed anyone more than I need her right now. She looks at me with heavy-lidded eyes, need stricken across her face as she spreads her thighs open for me, gifting me the sight of her. My mouth salivates in remembrance of her taste, her smell. I want it all. But right now, I need to be inside her. I need to be close to her, to feel her.
Lining the head of my cock up with her entrance, I don’t hesitate for a moment, pushing inside her with one long thrust. Her back bows as a sweet moan falls from her lips. I wrap my hands around her waist as I bring her closer to me, burying myself deeper inside her. I feel her pussy clench around me, like welcoming me home. Fuck. I’ve missed this. Missed her. This feels like so much more than fucking. It feels like the start of something, of what was always meant to be.
“Trevor,” she gasps.
“Yes, Little Red?” I ask as I continue fucking her against the shiny quartz countertop.
“I love you so much. I’ve never stopped. I couldn’t,” she says as tears begin gathering in her eyes, sliding down her face.
I reach up to catch them, fucking her deeper as I get closer to her.
“No tears, baby. Anything but the tears,” I practically beg.
“What do we do? I can’t live without you. I need you,” she says as she raises her hips and lets out a soft moan.
“I know, baby. I know. I’m not letting you go for anything. You hear me? I’ll fight for you. Fight for us. I’ll never let you go again.”
“Don’t Trev, ever. Please, please, please,” she begs as I lower my hand to her clit, rubbing it in tight circles that have her body shuddering.
“You’re so beautiful. So perfect. Come for me, Little Red. Give me what we both need. I need to know this is just about you and me. That you want me, that you need me like I need you.”
Her eyes come to mine as I increase my speed, her mouth opening into a perfect O shape as she screams her release.
“Trevor! Trevor! Trevor!”
I fuck her through it, feeling her cunt grip me so tight, it practically sends me over the edge.
Trevor. Trevor.
“Trevor, hello? Anyone home?” Erica asks.
I blink hard before looking down at the dirty plate in my hand. I shake my head, glancing up to see a fully clothed yet worried-looking Erica.
“You okay? You spaced out for a while.”
Jesus Christ.
Disappointment and a newfound pain I didn’t know existed takes over me as I close my eyes and let out a heavy breath. I take a minute to do my best to separate reality from what was clearly an overly detailed delusion. Way overly detailed.
I muster up the best smile I can, but even I can feel how tight and fake it is. Erica’s brows furrow with concern as I nod.
“I’m good.”
Trevor
Ileft before Seb was even done tucking the girls in. Usually, I’d try to stick around and at least attempt to say goodbye. Not yesterday, though. Not when I thought what I did, what I daydreamed I did. And the fact that disappointment weighed out remorse for it…well, I’m starting to think maybe coming to Seattle wasn’t the best idea. That is if I don’t want to implode Erica’s life, my life, and everyone around us.
Gripping the steering wheel a little tighter, I pull into a parking spot at the stadium before turning off the engine of my Audi R8. I’m getting used to this thing, not quite sure I love it yet. My car collection is being shipped up here from Texas, and so I needed to get something for now. It’s nice, don’t get me wrong. But when I have classics like a 1969 Barracuda or a 1962 Ferrari 250 GTO, the thing kinda pales in comparison for me.
Flashes of yesterday’s fantasy pass through my head, despite how much I try to push it to the side. It didn’t even happen. It was a daydream. Obviously, I have one fucking hell of an imagination.
Shaking my head, I blow out a deep breath before hitting the side of my fist on the steering wheel. I throw open my door and get out, standing a little taller as I grab my bag and throw it over my shoulder while I make my way to the front of the building.
The thing is, even if I was willing to risk everything and shoot another shot with Erica, it would be a shot wasted. She loves Sebastian in a way that she never quite loved me. They balance each other. Even if it hurts to admit, they’re good together. He makes her happy in a way I wish I could. Like I said, Erica is the love of my life, but I’m not hers. And if you love something, set it free, right?
