Jagged Harts, page 17
Now that the hormone crazed fog has lifted and I realize the gravity of what I just did, I can’t help but feel thankful that his dad interrupted us when he did. I saw the look in Cole’s eyes. This definitely meant more to him that just a little fooling around. He wants more from me, and I know for a fact that I can’t give it to him. The reason I can’t? Well, a huge one would have to be a pair of sharp emerald eyes.
Why the fuck did I let get things get so far? Like that is even a question. Deep down I know that I was reaching for something, anything to distract me from the thought that Dax had his tongue down some skanks throat just the other week. I was no longer the last kiss that he had and now he wasn’t mine either.
As I toss and turn in bed, I can’t help but wonder what Dax is doing, or more specifically, who he is doing. I am under no illusion that he will spend this entire break holed up at his place. He is Glenfield’s most eligible bachelor. Everyone either wants to be him or be with him. Besides, it isn’t like we left off on a great note anyways and I did just spend my night with my tongue in someone else’s mouth, so I guess I have no room to talk. But still.
The idea of Dax hooking up with someone else turns my stomach sour. I know that I told Dax that we aren’t anything to each other and that we shouldn’t have opinions on each other’s dating lives but what can I say, guess I am a fucking liar because I definitely have opinions.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-TWO
AUBREY
The next morning, we have a freaking banquet of a breakfast. Renée made pancakes, French toast, eggs, bacon and hash browns. There are only six of us, but she cooked for an army of twenty. After we stuff ourselves and throw our bags into the truck, we say our goodbyes.
Renée tears up as she hugs and kisses us both and makes Cole promise to come home soon for a weekend to which he dutifully agrees. It’s not like it is a hardship. His family is fucking awesome. I would have killed to have a family like this growing up.
Cole goes to start the truck and looks over to me with a soft smile, I try to return it, but I know that it doesn’t look genuine. He tried to kiss me this morning, but I casually stepped out of his path. If it bothered him, he didn’t let it show but every time that he looked at me with those damn stars in his eyes, it made my stomach twist. I hate that I am going to hurt him. I hate that I let things get out of hand and now he has these expectations that won’t be met.
He tries to talk to me the whole ride back, but I hardly respond, being too lost in my own head. We pull up to campus after a few hours. Cole parks before getting out and jogging around to get my door. I give him a tight smile and nod my head as he grabs my bag. We head up to my room in silence.
When we get inside and the door thunks shut Cole blurts out, “Okay, talk.”
Knowing I need to rip off the band aid, I sigh and walk over to sit on my bed as I pull my knees into my chest. Cole comes to sit next to me and is patiently waiting for me to speak.
“Cole, we shouldn’t have crossed that line. You know I care about you, but you said it yourself. Hooking up with friends complicates things. I don’t want to damage our friendship; you are too important to me. We are better off as friends.”
Cole’s patient look is immediately erased with one of panic and worry. He drops to his knees in front of me and quickly takes my hands in his.
“Darlin’.” His voice is so thick with emotion that it looks like he has to physically swallow over it before continuing. “I’ve never said it out loud before. I think I have made it pretty clear with my actions, but some things just need to be said.” He takes a deep breath as his Sapphire eyes meet mine.
“I am in love with you, Aubrey. I have been since the first day that I met you. You drew me in instantly and I just had to be near you. You’re stunning obviously, that’s what first got my attention but two sentences out of your mouth and I knew you were like no one I had ever met, and I had to see more of you. And then you mercilessly friend zoned me,” he says, giving a teasing smile as I give him a sad one in return. “But I was ok with it, because it meant I got to spend all of my free time getting to know you even better and I just fell harder.
“All those study dates and lazy days with ice cream and movies, every moment spent with you was my new favorite. I was starting to think that we would be just friends forever. And then yesterday happened and it was like everything was falling into place.
“Aubrey, this is more to me than just a fling or casual dating. I am all in. But I know that all of this time you have been seeing me as just a friend while I have been falling deeper and deeper in love with you. So, I’ll give you a chance to catch up. Let’s just keep this casual, no labels or expectations but maybe now I can kiss you once in a while and you won’t reject me?”
The last part comes out as teasing, but I can tell he is being serious. I open my mouth to tell him that I can’t do that. He must sense what I am about to say because he apparently decides to switch methods and grabs my face with both of his hands as he pulls me in for a kiss. This time I have enough sense to not kiss him back before I put my hands on his chest and gently push him away.
Cole’s eyes flutter open and they stare at me, big, sad and vulnerable.
“It’s not just about things moving fast for you is it? It’s Dax?”
His tone is accusing, and I wince at the sound, hating myself more with every second. I go to tell him that Dax has nothing to do with us, but he holds up a hand to stop me.
“Please don’t try to deny it. I see the way you look at him, and the way he looks at you. It’s okay. Everything I said is true, it would be impossible for me to be the only one to notice how incredible you are. I understand that you have feelings for him, I’ve known for a while, I guess. I just…don’t you see that I am the better option? I would never hurt you. You would always be my number one priority.”
“I know, Cole,” I say quietly not able to make eye contact with him.
“But you still want him, don’t you?” His tone hardens and a disapproving look crosses his face.
I just shrug and stare at my nails, trying to look anywhere but him. He lifts my chin to meet his eyes and I see the pain swimming there. It guts me to know that it’s all because of me.
“It’s okay, you know. You don’t have to make a decision right now. I would just like to be considered.”
I stare at him for a moment before I shake my head and sigh.
“Cole, you deserve so much better. So much more than I can give you. Putting this weird thing between Dax and I to the side, I still don’t think that you and I are a good idea. I don’t want to lose you in my life, though.”
He nods his understanding as he cups the side of my face.
“You won’t lose me. I will always be here, no matter what. I am not giving up on you Aubrey. Just think about it, I can give you so much. We could be so great together.”
With that, he stands and kisses the top of my head before striding out of my room. There is that trademark doesn’t take no for an answer bullshit again. I hope he will at least back off now. I don’t want our friendship to be ruined just because he can’t get past this little crush.
Sometimes I wish that I could just like Cole. He is good, kind, safe. A life with him would be simple, easy and dare I say a bit boring, which wouldn’t be bad considering the life I have led so far. But Dax is fire. He is fierce, powerful, and all consuming. I know that if we did give things a shot, he would care for me with that same intensity. He would protect me with everything that he possibly could. But the problem with fire is, if you get too close you always get burned.
I have successfully managed to avoid both Cole and Dax for a whole week. I don’t want to deal with seeing Cole give me those puppy dog eyes, begging me to feel a way that I just can’t for him. I also don’t want to deal with Dax because I just don’t even know how to. We left off on a weird note and I don’t even know where his head is at let alone mine.
Maybe I am getting ahead of myself. I mean, Dax has never specifically said that he wants more with me, that isn’t his style, so why would I be any different? I know that he is attracted to me and that he is a bit possessive of me, okay more than a bit. But for all I know, this really could all be just one big game for him, a challenge that he wants to conquer. As much as that would suck, I wouldn’t be surprised.
That doesn’t seem right, though. The way he looked at me in his garage tells me that he feels something. That’s it. I’m done hiding like a coward. I will call him on Monday, get Betty back and see how things go. I am sure once I am around him, I will be reminded of the broody asshole that he is and then I can get over these ridiculous feelings. That still leaves me with the whole Cole issue, but that is a problem for another day.
On Saturday, I am woken up by my phone ringing nonstop. I think I miss about 8 calls before I finally accept defeat and answer.
“What?” I groan into the phone.
“Hey, sleepyhead! Get up! I’m on my way over to pick you up!” Kayla says cheerily. Who is she, Snow-Fucking-White? Who gets up willingly on a Saturday at 7:30am and is happy about it?
“Kaylaaa,” I whine. “Can’t you come and bug me in like three hours, at least?”
She snickers like I’m a silly child. “No. Get up. You have 15 minutes.”
Then she hangs up on me. Fucking bitch. I seriously need to drop her ass. I get up begrudgingly, knowing that if I don’t she will just come banging on my door until I answer.
35 minutes later, Kayla bounds through my door before perching herself on the top of my desk, making herself right at home.
“Ever punctual I see,” I say with an unimpressed look on my face.
“Always, honey,” she responds, tossing me a saucy wink. I roll my eyes before grabbing my purse and heading for the door with her in tow.
“So where are we going at this ungodly hour?”
“We are having a girl’s day!” She squeals.
“A girl’s day? For what?”
“Like we need a reason! But I have a date tonight with Jeremy. You remember him from the clay banks?”
“No, I don’t. You never introduced us. You were too busy keeping him to yourself,” I tease.
She snickers and shrugs.
“What can I say. Anyways I always did girl’s days with my friends on the day of a date. And since we are now best friends, I figured it was mandatory that you accompany me to get ready!”
“Okay. I am going to pretend like that makes sense. So, what do we need to do? Why are we doing this so early? Don’t you just need to get dressed and stuff?” I question as I slide into the Barbie Mobile.
She throws her head back laughing so hard that I swear I see a few tears.
“Oh my gosh, you are adorable. Honey, we have an appointment at the Spa in 20 minutes. We are getting Mani-Pedi’s, Massages, Waxing. The works.”
I look at her dubiously as she starts the car and takes off.
“You do all that just for a date? What if he is a dud? That’s a lot of work to gamble on some dude.”
“That’s just part of being a girl!”
I shrug and look out the window.
“Not where I’m from.”
She laughs again, shaking her head.
“Well, you are with me now.”
After one deep tissue massage, two hands and two feet perfectly manicured and being waxed within an inch of my life, we eat at some hoity toity bistro in the salon where the chef salad costs more than I used to spend on groceries for a week back home. Good thing Kayla’s dad is footing the bill. Thank you, Papa Blackburn.
Once we are done with lunch, Kayla insists we need to find her a new outfit. We head to a mall that I am pretty sure you need a black credit card just to enter. I glance down at my band t-shirt and ripped jeans before catching a judgy look from some stepford wife in a designer dress and an oversized frilly hat that belongs in the 19th century. I roll my eyes and trail after Kayla as she practically gallops into a store.
After a few minutes of browsing through racks Kayla pipes up.
“So, do you have any plans for tonight? All dolled up and nowhere to go,” she hums.
“Nah. Probably just going to go home and admire their handiwork,” I say inspecting my nails that are freshly slathered in shiny red polish.
“Honey. You know I say this because I care, but you need to get out there. This is college. We are in the prime of our lives. You have been down ever since you got back from break. Did something happen?” She asks with her eyebrows raised like I am a petulant child refusing to fess up.
If that is what she thinks of me for not gossiping then that is exactly what I am, because I am not taking the bait. I haven’t told a soul about Cole and me, nor do I plan to. I also haven’t told anyone about the moment Dax and I had shortly before break. For all she knows, I am still royally pissed at him about the party which makes me feel sort of bad that I am keeping things from her. But I don’t share personal shit like that with people, friends or not.
I roll my eyes at her as I turn to look at a rack filled with clothes I would never wear in a million years.
“Kayla, I’m fine.”
“Well, you need to go out and have some fun. Would it really kill you?”
“Probably,” I deadpan, getting more than a little irked that she won’t just fucking drop it.
She rolls her eyes at me exasperated and huffs.
“Nope, it wouldn’t. Promise me you will go out tonight, even if it is just for a bit.”
I sigh heavily, weighing her words in my mind. I guess it wouldn’t kill me to be a little social, but just a little. I would honestly try anything to get me out of my own head right now. If I eat another gallon of ice cream, I am pretty sure I am going to need to go up a pant size.
“Fine, I will go do something outside of my room tonight.”
“Yay!” She claps before turning around and sifting through a rack of dresses. “Oh my gosh get over here! You have to try this on,” she says, thrusting a red dress at me.
I hold it out to look at it. It is really pretty actually. I don’t wear dresses, like ever, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate one. It comes just above the knee and has a side slit up to almost mid-thigh with a plunging neckline. It’s totally gorgeous but maybe a little bit much for the local bar across town that I was thinking about hitting up.
“Uh, I think this may be a little much for a night out by myself.”
She shoos at me like I am a pesky fly.
“Be quiet and try it on.”
I relent and go into the dressing room. Once I slip on the dress, I am impressed. It fits like a second skin. The deep red compliments my blonde hair and the plunging neckline leaves little to the imagination. This isn’t normally my style, but maybe for one night it could be. I step out and Kayla’s eyes widen before she breaks out into a huge smile.
“Yes! It’s perfect I love it! You have to get it.”
I nod my agreement then check the price tag and nearly choke on my tongue. $400 for a dress! Rich people are crazy. I begin to take it off right then and there, other customers be damned.
“I can’t believe you let me try that on! I probably depreciated it just by touching it!”
Kayla rolls her eyes at me like I am being dramatic before she saunters over to me. She glances down at the tag before she scoffs and swats at the air.
“Don’t worry about it. My treat.”
“Kayla, this is not a treat. This is $400! That is like a month’s rent where I come from.”
She snorts. “Where the hell did you live? A cardboard box?”
I wince at that. She is closer than she probably realizes. She seems to miss my reaction to her words because she carries on.
“Well, where I come from, this is a treat. Seriously Aubrey, you have no idea how deep my pockets run. You are probably my only friend that doesn’t, nor do you care. That’s why you are my best friend. You care about me, not my money. That right there earns you the right to be pampered once in a while. Most people just think that I’m an obnoxious spoiled rich girl but not you.”
“Well, that’s not true. You are pretty fucking obnoxious,” I tease lightly as she shoves me, chuckling softly.
“Please let me do this, I want to.”
I don’t know why but I concede and give her a small nod.
“Thank you, Kayla.”
She kisses me on the cheek and smiles happily.
“Of course, Honey. Now come on, next stop is shoes!”
Oh fuck, here we go.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE
AUBREY
Later that evening, I am standing in my room inspecting myself in the mirror. I am wearing my $400 dress, still can’t even believe I own something so ridiculously expensive, and the matching heels. I told Kayla that I was happy to wear my chucks and she looked like I just proposed we go on a murder spree.
I even curled my hair and did my makeup tonight. Not gonna lie, I look pretty fucking hot. I get out my phone and order a ride before grabbing my purse and fake ID as I head out the door. I decide to hit up a local club that Kayla said was really popular.
When I arrive at Club 22 the energy is palpable. The room is dimly lit with lights flashing in sync to the music. Drinks are being expertly poured at the bar and hordes of people are mixed on the dance floor, writhing and grinding together. Fuck yeah. This is what I am talking about.
I make my way to the bar and order three tequila shots because I plan on having a good ass time tonight. As I am waiting for my drinks, I feel a meaty hand grab my ass. I whirl on the offender ready to drop his. I pause for a moment when I see a large hand clasp the creep’s shoulder. When my eyes move up they catch a familiar pair of emerald eyes. He is staring daggers at the back of this guy’s head but speaks to me through clenched teeth.
