Lucky In Love, page 16
Having been sitting back enjoying the show quietly from his seat in the corner, Jason decided it was a good time to cut in and change the subject.
“Okay, okay...so how's your new place working out? Is it pretty roomy?” He was looking at Noah as he spoke.
“It's ok,” Noah shrugged as he reached for a chip and dipped it in the salsa.
“Yeah? So, have you thought about getting a roommate?” Jason asked sounding as innocent as he could to hide his ulterior motive.
“Nope,” Noah said as he took a big bite trying to keep the salsa from dripping. Then he gave a knowing grin at Jason who shook his head disappointed. Gabe caught the exchange.
“Wait, I see what's going on here! You're trying to trade me off! That's messed up man. I thought we were friends!”
Before Gabe had a chance to get to upset, Jason and Noah began to laugh. Realizing that they had been messing with him, he scoffed at the both of them.
Just then the waitress showed up with a second pitcher of beer. She topped off each of their glasses and cleared out the empty pitcher. Then she checked with each of the guys to be sure they didn’t need anything else. When she was satisfied that they were well taken care of, she moved on to the next table.
“So, have you guys talked to Lucky?” Noah asked casually.
Gabe nodded.
Jason reached for his full glass and then leaned back in his seat.
“Yeah. Have you?”
“No, haven't talked to her since she left,” Noah responded, then to try and avoid drawing attention to this fracture in their relationship, he continued, “Is she liking her new job?”
“Yeah, she's really happy there,” Jason replied.
“Good. I'm glad,” Noah said, not looking very glad at all at that moment.
Gabe leaned forward in his chair and folded his arms on the table looking suddenly serious as he turned his gaze towards Noah.
“Are you? 'Cause you sounded pretty sure that she was never going to do it, last time I talked to you.”
Aware that he hadn’t sold his position to the others as well as he had intended, Noah gave it a little more effort the second time around.
“Yes, I'm happy. Actually, it turns out it’s a lot easier not to have a female roommate. Do you know how many girls always thought I had something going with Lucky? It's a lot easier not having to explain that anymore.”
Jason nodded his head in agreement.
“Yeah, I bet. Tara actually didn't want to date me because she was worried about how close Lucky and I were. Like she thought one day we would wake up and realize we were in love or something.”
“You never thought that might happen?” Noah probed, as though the thought had occurred to him as well a time or two.
“Me and Lucky?” Jason asked surprised. “No, never.”
Noah eyed him skeptically.
“Really, I kind of always figured you two would end up together.”
Jason snorted.
“Please, if she was going to end up with anyone, it was going to be Gabe. Hey, now that Janette's out of the picture...maybe you should take a little trip to Idaho,” Jason said, pointing at Gabe who was absentmindedly crunching away on tortilla chips, while intently following the conversation going on in front of him. When he realized Jason had included him, he tossed the chip he was holding back into the basket.
“You guys are both out of your mind! She was never going to end up with me or Jason,” he said sounding very matter-of-fact. Then he grinned, satisfied at their expressions when they realized he knew something they didn’t.
“Why not?” Jason asked.
Gabe looked at both of them as he lifted his glass to his mouth, fully intending to have a drink and draw this out as long as he could. They deserved it after the way they had messed with him earlier, but then even he couldn’t stand the anticipation any longer.
“Because, she's in love with Noah,” Gabe beamed. Jason’s face had completely distorted and he looked as though he was busy collecting information and putting everything together piece by piece in slow motion, while Noah almost looked angry.
“What? Why would you think that?” Noah demanded, sounding rather accusatory.
“Because she told me...okay, she didn't actually tell me.” Gabe stopped for a moment debating on whether or not telling the whole truth would be necessary, or if he could get away with glossing over some of the less flattering details. Judging by the looks on their faces, he opted for the unabridged version.
“See a while back, I was on the phone and I had to write down this address and I was looking for a piece of paper.”
“So?” Noah couldn’t see how this was relevant.
“So, Lucky's bag was right there and I figured 'hey, she's a teacher, she's gotta have paper in there right?' So I reached in and pulled out what I thought was scrap paper, only it wasn't. It was a letter addressed to Grandma Pearl. And I know it was wrong but I wanted to know why the hell she was writing her dead grandmother letters...so, I read it.” Gabe glanced back and forth between the two. Jason still seemed to be very focused, but at least Noah’s expression had softened a bit.
“And?” Noah asked, eager to hear the rest of the story.
“And, in the letter she went on and on about her feelings for you,” Gabe finished.
Both Jason and Noah had been sitting on the edge of their seats as Gabe had been talking, now they simultaneously leaned back and allowed the information to sink in.
“Wow,” Jason said quietly.
“Yeah.” Noah didn’t know what else to say.
“I had no idea,” Jason continued, then having had another thought he asked, “Is it sad or sweet that she wrote her dead grandma a letter?”
Without thinking, Noah answered, “It's just how she works through things, writing those letters is kind of like keeping a journal for her.”
Gabe looked at him curiously while Jason was taken aback for the second time.
“You knew she did that?” Then suddenly, all the pieces started to fall into place for him. Jason smacked himself in the forehead.
“The stationery! Holy shit, Tara was right - you ARE in love with her!”
“What?” Noah’s feigned disbelief at this statement wasn’t entirely believable and Jason just ignored him.
“Seriously, I can't believe I never saw it before. Tara told me that you told Lucky you were in love with her.”
Gabe almost spit out his beer.
“You did what?! When?!”
Still unfazed, Jason continued, “And I totally thought she was full of crap. I mean, I was certain that she had misunderstood something because I thought there was no way...but then the stationery at her birthday, it seemed like such a lame present, only now it turns out, it wasn't lame at all, it was totally personal and well, perfect probably.”
Finally having finished his long train of thought, Jason looked at Noah expectantly, who in turn looked at him ready to counter his argument. Before he had a chance to come up with anything he caught a glimpse of Gabe, who was glaring at him intensely, almost daring him to deny the truth that was suddenly so blatantly obvious to everyone. Defeated, Noah sank back into his chair.
“Ok, so what?”
“So what? Why is she in Idaho?” Jason asked, sounding slightly exasperated.
“Because that's where she wants to be,” Noah replied in a monotone voice that offered no indication of his feelings involving the topic.
Jason looked at him sternly and took on a tone he was used to using when dealing with his teenage students.
“I'm being serious, if you love her and she loves you...what's the problem?”
Noah silently stared down at his hands, pretending to be intensely focused on a hang nail he had just discovered. For a long while, Gabe and Jason just watched him, waiting for an answer. Finally, when he couldn’t take the feel of their eyes digging through the top of his head any longer, he looked up.
“I don't know what the problem is,” he shrugged. “I guess it's me.”
Gabe grinned.
“Well, then you should probably fix it.”
Noah looked across at him and then over at Jason, who appeared to be in agreement with Gabe.
“Yeah, I probably should,” Noah said, as a smile began to spread from one side of his face to the other.
Chapter 22
An Unexpected Offer
Early the next morning I received a call from Shelly, my realtor. She was excited as she told me about an offer that had come in on the house. Even though she had promised that I would be able to handle my end of the sale from where I was, I instantly felt the need to get on a plane and go back to see the house one last time while it was still mine. Three days later, I was sitting on a plane and headed back.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone that I was in town. Saying goodbye the first time had been hard enough and I wasn’t prepared to do it all over again so soon. Instead, I got myself a room at a small inn not too far from the house. After meeting with Shelly in the morning, I made my way over to the place I had called home for such a long time. My heart ached as the house came into view. I fought the urge to pull up into the driveway and parked on the street instead. For a while I just sat there, staring at the empty shell that had once contained my whole world. Finally, I forced myself to get out of the car. Partially because I thought some sort of movement would distract me and keep me from crying my eyes out and partially because I knew that if I stayed there staring at my past I would start to have doubts about my future. Doubts I simply couldn’t afford to have. So, determined to stand by the choices I had made that led me here, I approached the “For Sale” sign still perched on my front lawn. Reminding myself that I had wanted this day to come and that it was in fact a good thing, I bent down and pulled the sign out of the ground. As I straightened back up, I saw that another car had pulled up behind mine. Then, a second later a man was walking down the sidewalk towards me. It was Noah.
“Hey. What are you doing here?” I asked, trying not to show just how stunned I was to see him.
“I see you're taking down the sign,” he replied, pointing at my hand. I looked down at it and saw the sign still dangling in my grip. For a moment I had forgotten all about it.
“Yes. I found a buyer.” Just like that, the satisfaction I had been yearning for appeared. After all, hadn’t it been Noah who had doubted me? Who didn’t believe I could really go through with it? Well, now I had.
Still, if I was expecting some sort of a reaction resembling shock, I didn’t get it. Instead, he just nodded and said, “I know.”
“How do you know?” I frowned, and my eyebrows scrunched up displaying my dissatisfaction with his answer.
“I'm the one that made an offer on the house.” He was right in front of me now.
“What? Why would you want to buy Grandma Pearl's house?” I exclaimed, clearly showing how flustered I was by this sudden turn in events.
“I don't want to buy Grandma Pearl's house,” Noah replied calmly.
“Then what are you doing?” I demanded in a voice that was starting to sound a little shrilly.
“Look, I just can't let you sell this house, but if you think you have to, then I'd rather be the one to buy it than let some stranger get it.” Then he added sheepishly, “And plus, I really wanted to see you, I figured this way you had to come.”
Feeling the nerves rise within me at the sound of his words, I forced myself to go on the offensive.
“What do you want Noah?” I asked, silently pleading with him not to make this any harder than it already was. Reading my mind had been something he was good at once upon a time, but not anymore.
“I want you,” he said quietly, but still sounding very firm in his position. Unable and unwilling to allow myself to believe the words coming out of his mouth, I began to ramble.
“No you don't. You want things the way they were before. It was comfortable for you and you want it back. I get that, but...” Before I could finish my argument, Noah cut me off.
“Would you shut up for like two seconds? I have something I need to say to you.”
Both of his hands had reached up and grabbed onto my arms. He was standing less than a foot away from me. I could smell his cologne mixed in with his soap and the faint but distinct scent of cigarette smoke that followed him everywhere he went, thanks to all of the hours he spent at the bar. More than that, I could feel the energy his body was letting off. A kind of heat I found both comforting and unnerving because it was easily melting away all of my defenses.
“Ok,” I replied, seeing no other way out of his grasp than to allow him to say his piece.
Noah sighed. Then he took a deep breath in and as he exhaled all of the words he had been holding in for the last seven years began to pour out.
“Lucky...when I met you, it was like this instant feeling, like I knew you were going to be different than any other girl I'd ever met. And I was right, but that's beside the point. Anyway, I wanted to ask you out, but I was intimidated.”
“Oh, please.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. The mere suggestion that I had intimidated Noah, the womanizer, was laughable.
Only Noah wasn’t laughing. In fact, he looked rather sternly at me and snapped, “I'm not done!” Then, softening his tone again, he continued, “So, I thought that if we got to know each other, if we became friends, maybe it would give me some sort edge or something and I could get you that way - yes, at the time it was a conquest thing, but then the friendship plan, it backfired because you ended up with the edge, you saw through all my bullshit and you called me out on it and I knew you would never go out with me. I mean, girls like you just don't date guys like me.”
And again I interrupted, “You mean Women like me? Self-respecting and smart Women like me?”
This time, Noah just smirked. “Sure, loudmouthed, always have something to say about everything, self-respecting and smart women like you. They don't date guys like me, because, well it would be stupid.”
“What is your point to all of this?” I was getting impatient. Noah still hadn’t let me go and I had learned a long time ago never to stand too close to him for any long periods of time. I wasn’t cut out for it. I was a strong woman, but there was only so much, even I could resist.
“My point is...that night I told you I was in love with you, I meant it.” His voice was raspy, it was so low. He was looking me directly in the eyes. Looking back into his, I was surprised to see hurt and something I thought might be regret. And then I remembered.
“Then why did you act like such an ass after?”
Noah suddenly broke his hold on me. Looking down he turned away from me, taking his scent and energy with him. He looked angry, but this time it wasn’t with me.
“Because I felt like an idiot, after. I hated the way I did it, and I pretty much hate everything I've done ever since...” and then his head lifted and he turned back to face me, “But I'm trying to make it right now. I love you Lucky, I know you have feelings for me too. So, please, just come back and give us a chance.”
Once again I felt the nerves rise within, this time bubbling over into sheer panic. How was it possible that the thing I had wanted most was the thing I was most afraid of? Unable to face my fears and frustrated by the uncontrollable ways Noah was making me feel, I spun the conversation completely off course.
“Is that what this is really all about? I can't just come back, Noah. I have a life there, a new life. And I really like it...and I've met someone.” I had said it without even thinking. The moment the words passed my lips, I regretted the lie. Noah’s face fell. He hadn’t expected this turn in events.
“You have?”
Already having put it out there, I felt I had no choice but to commit to it, so I lied again.
“Yes, he's a teacher at my school. His name is Josh and he's really nice and...” I was running out of things to say, but it didn’t matter. Noah didn’t want to hear any more.
“Yeah, I don't need to know the details.” He waved his hand at me, signaling me to stop.
“I'm sorry...” And I meant it. Although I wasn’t entirely sure what I was apologizing for. Lying to him or the fact that I was destroying the one moment that could have changed our entire relationship, possibly our entire lives?
“Don't be. I'm happy you're happy,” Noah said, and he forced a small smile. Then he leaned forward to give me a hug before he turned to walk away.
As I watched him walk away, my heart began to race inside my chest. The voice in my head was talking a mile a minute, jumping all over the place from scolding me, to confirming that I had done the right thing, to yelling at me to stop Noah and plead with him to stay. Just as I felt my mouth open to say something, I saw him spin back around. He walked back much faster than he had walked away, with much more intent and destination.
Halfway back to me he said, “Actually, I wasn't done.”
Then before I knew what was happening, he was standing in front of me, pulling me close and placing his lips on mine. My eyes closed and I felt every last part of me surrender to the feelings I had fought for so long. After a moment that could have lasted three seconds or three hours, Noah pulled back.
“Now I'm done,” he said in that deep raspy voice again and without warning, he turned away and began walking back to his car. I stood there, vulnerable and exposed and above all, completely stunned.
“You're just going to walk away?” I called after him. Noah stopped and turned his head back in my direction.
“That's what you want, isn't?”
“Of course that's not what I want!” I shouted back at him, flustered by the fact that he was going to make me admit it not only to myself, but to him as well.
A smile spread across his face as Noah ran back to where I was still standing, frozen in place, and pulled me close, wrapping both of his arms around me and pressing my body up against his. Then he leaned in close.
“What do you want?”
“I think I just got it.”
I closed my eyes again and waited for his lips to touch mine. At last we had both fought our way around the obstacles we had so foolishly put onto our own paths. Nothing could undo now what we had done. There would be no waking up tomorrow and pretending this day hadn’t existed and these words hadn’t been said. This was it. We were in the same place at the same time and it was better than anything I could have ever imagined.
