“Ric can handle himself because you know as well as I do, he’s got more than enough people behind him. Me on the other hand...Would you please come in?” I say with a bit more bite to get my point across. It’s making me feel exposed. She glowers at me for what seems like forever before she nods and passes me into the house. I check the street out of habit.

  When I turn, she’s already found herself a spot at the island, propped up on a stool. Her face is as hard as stone and most likely the words I’m about to say won’t penetrate through it, but no better time than the present.

  “Look,” I begin, “I know you’re still angry about what happened, but something came up that at the time I couldn’t have said no to. It kicked my ass harder than you want to right now, but I regret leaving what I had in your home every day that I was gone. Not to mention leaving my best friend behind. Not to mention I could have used her the most after I left.”

  Her arms came across her chest, “Then why didn’t you come straight back?”

  I shrug, “I didn’t have the funds.”

  “There are other ways.”

  I could feel the anger build inside of me as I remember all that had happened. Only a truth could explain, “It didn’t turn bad until months later, and I had nothing to my name. I lost the dignity it took to crawl back to the only family that loved me. I couldn’t face you, or the time that I wasted. Being too raw to deal with another disappointment, I found another way to survive.” At some point through my speech I ducked my head feeling that shame all over again, but when my head lifts, I wasn’t sure how I should take the tears about to roll down Emmy’s...Emmily’s face.

  “You’re such an idiot. We would have taken you back,” at her words the tears start to roll down her cheeks. I nod because I know that now. Though also knew I was no longer worthy of it. She holds out her arms and I trip a little getting into them. For the first time in a long time, I allow myself to cry over what I had lost when I left. Her arms still feel like a sister’s and where I belong. Maybe I still do?

  After a while, we loosen our embrace and wipe our faces as best we can. She finally takes a good look at me, in only a shirt and underwear, which only now am I realizing I’ve answered the door in, “You really grew into your curves. I always said you would.”

  “That chubby kid and now adult was really hoping you were right,” and that gets me my first smile. Maybe our friendship isn’t as broken as I thought.

  “Ha ha, you really have grown into a beautiful lady.”

  I snort, and gesture towards her, “Have you taken a look at yourself in a mirror lately.”

  “Alright, we have both come into our own. So are you going to get dressed or not? Dad also mentioned you need to get some shopping done.”

  “If you’re offering,” I start heading towards my bedroom but she calls my name so I turn halfway to look back at her.

  “I’ll take what you said for now, but eventually you’ll need to tell me everything. You owe me that much,” there’s no argument that she’s right. I know I have to tell her the whole sordid affair, because until I did, I can’t be forgiven, that I could see in the set of her brows, and the twist of her mouth. When I nod, she gifts me with a small smile.

  It only takes me a few minutes to dress and then we were out the door. When I tell her about my issue of not having transportation, she comes up with a long-term solution but one I’d have to wait on.

  “Yeah it’s no problem, you’ll just have to wait till I get my old car out of storage. Once I get home I’ll have someone drive it out here to you.”

  “I could always go with you, see what you do, where you live, then drive back with it,” I suggest.

  “That sounds like a much better idea.”

  “So when do you head back?”

  “I have to cut this trip short because of the notice. I smudged the truth a little bit so I will need to head back in about three days,” she shrugs, side-eyeing me for a reaction she wouldn’t find. I’m ready to go when she is.

  “I’ll just have to let your dear old dad in on the plans.”

  “I’m seeing him tonight, I’ll let him know.”

  One thing off the list and a mini vacation sounds amazing right now. Even better it may be a perfect opportunity to tell her everything and get a few things off my chest. It’s been a while since I’ve had someone I could confide in. Maybe she will be that for me again.

  “So where to first?” she asks.

  “I am dying of boredom. I’m not sure how I ever lived here, or how you didn’t get out sooner. Know of a place that I can buy a DVD player and a few movies?”

  “Hey, this place isn’t all that bad. I think there may be a chance that Harvey’s shop may have one.”

  “Then Harvey’s it is, then grocery shopping,” I say.

  “You’ve got it.”

  Harvey’s is the only place to find anything you’d consider modern. Electronics, new and old, mostly old, and basically anything nerdy. Thankfully upon walking in, there were plenty of movies to choose from, unfortunately, most of them were VHS’s. There wasn’t a DVD or blue ray player in sight. I stocked up on the VHS player and being that I’m a romantic at heart, a few movies from the 80’s that were favorites of mine when I lived it.

  No amount of convincing had Emmy promising she’d stay over and watch anything with me on my ancient equipment, but I knew I’d eventually wear her down.

  Grocery shopping isn't as quick as I expect. That's what you get for living in small-town America. Everyone remembered us as teenagers, and decide they want to reminisce about their childhood with us. By the time we get back to the house, I want to shut myself away. I’m thankful that most of the people that stopped us have forgotten my name. Emmy being the smart girl she is didn’t remind them and kept most of the attention on herself. Getting away with Emmy for a few days is sounding like a better idea than I thought.

  Emmy stuck around only long enough to help me carry everything in, apparently needing to catch up with Martha before Ric got home.

  After setting up the old tech in my bedroom I settle in, curl up, and start on the first VHS on the stack. I answer Jake’s question aloud, “No I don’t think you’re a psycho for wanting to be loved.”

  Just as the scene begins in the movie where Ted comes from the bathroom stall with Sam’s underwear, the door banging against the wall, theatrical music blaring, my doorbell rings. I nearly jump out of my skin but find the strength not to hide beside my bed. As if that would save me. I walk tentatively from my bedroom, wishing there was a window near the door so I could do this ninja style. Just as my body makes it from the door frame, the doorbell sounds again. I can’t believe I jump; I’m becoming a wuss. You know what I need...a gun, next time someone rings my damn bell or knocks on my door I will grab my nine-millimeter out immediately for some security because this is becoming ridiculous. I turn back around and dig into the bottom drawer where I stashed my purse and pull it out.

  The bell sounds again, and I come out of the bedroom yelling to the visitor to identify themselves. When no answer comes, I can feel my anger bubble at the edges. Just as I’m about to turn back to my bedroom and screw whoever is at my door, they knock.

  “Hey, it’s Brooklyn, let me in!”

  Relief courses through me, I scurry back to the room, store the gun away in its hiding place and run back to swing the door open.

  “Jesus, I thought you’d never answer,” she brushes against me as she makes her way inside, “What took you so long?”

  “You didn’t say it was you.”

  “You didn’t ask,” she replies as she rummages through my cabinets in search of who knows what.

  “I certainly did too,” I relax even more now that the door is closed and the lock is in place once more.

  She finally stops for a second to look at me over her shoulder, “If you said something, I sure didn’t hear it,” that’s all she says before she starts to search again.

  I decide to change the subject since this one is going nowhere, “What are you looking for?”

  “I’m looking for that thing you use to open...Ah Ha! Found it!” she comes out holding a corkscrew that I didn’t even realize I had. She goes straight for the bag she carried in that I’m only noticing now and pulls out a bottle of red wine. Giving me a mischievous grin, she beckons me to join her at my kitchen island.

  “You came over to drink wine...should I grab some rope?”

  “Not needed since I came of my own free will. Plus, I figured you’ve got the day off...Liam doesn’t come home until tomorrow. I’d say this is the perfect opportunity to break in our relationship and make a significant dent in this bottle I've been saving.”

  I take the bottle from her hand and look it over. I know nothing of wine, but the price tag says it all, “Why exactly was a six dollar and fifty-eight cent bottle worth saving for exactly?”

  “I hear some serious judgments going on in that tone,” she raises an eyebrow as if in challenge. I give one right back, ready to accept whatever this challenge may be.

  I shrug, “An explanation may be in order.”

  She looks at me pointedly but after a moment she sighs and sticks out her bottom lip, “It was the last wine I had saved from my marriage. You know the last Geff and I bought as a couple.”

  “...And why do you want to share it with me?”

  “I realized today that we will never be getting back together...and I figured it was a good way of cementing it.”

  “You going to tell me what happened?”

  She grabs the bottle and twists the cork rather more violently that I would, but I’m not judging. She doesn’t start to talk until we are well into our first glass. Believe me, the wait almost unbearable, but all good stories come when wiggled out by strained silence.

  “Liam met his father's new girlfriend, and apparently there are plans to make the girlfriend a much more permanent fixture since she's now pregnant,” she looks into the glass that she's swirling the wine in. Even though she's not looking at me her brows are scrunched together, her lips tight and turned down at the corners, it's clear she wasn't expecting the news. Getting out of a relationship with an abusive partner can leave you feeling unsure and frightened of change. At least that’s what I’ve learned.

  “What an assssss!” I say. She starts to nod her head but I can’t tell if she's actually heard me. I try a different tactic, “Did you really expect the two of you to get back together?”

  She looks at me a little dazed and unfocused. She starts to nod her head but then changes her mind, “Not really,” she shrugs, “It’s just...Geff was my first, I never expected to have this end between us. We were sweethearts the moment we met in high school, got pregnant before I even graduated, married before I started showing. You know, I don’t think he saw us ending this way either. One thing I can say, that once upon a time we were what you would call a perfect example of love...then everything started to go downhill,” she drains the rest of her glass, and as she pours herself another glass full she continues, “His father died, it changed him. He started to lose focus at work, and that just can’t happen when you’re on an assembly line. When I got the call, I didn’t know what to feel first. He lost a good portion of his arm, ripped the tendon, muscle...you get it, and after that he became...mean, resentful. I tried,” she looked at me, her eyes showing the kind of sadness I know too well, the kind that stays despite time, “I really did,” she takes another sip, gulp, and drain from the glass before she went on. Being too distracted by her story to notice I haven’t even taken a second look at my own glass, “At the end I would have done almost anything to save us, to be what we used to be, but I didn’t understand then that we stopped being the people we had been a long time ago...and there’s no way to get back to them. So... I left,” when she tilts her head back to look at me again there are tears in her eyes, “I didn’t want to, but I needed to. Not only for me but Liam. He didn’t need to learn to be that kind of man,” I take her in my arms. She is stiff for too many heartbeats but I wasn’t ready to let go. Eventually, she hugs me back and her breathing returns back to normal. When her arms drop, I finally let her go.

  She gives me a weak smile and surprises me by continuing, “It turns out it was the best thing I could have done for Geff. He cleaned up his act, found the help he needed, became a version of himself that we all could love again, but when he asked me to come home...I couldn’t muster enough strength to return. I was terrified it would happen again, of the unknown. He granted me that divorce I had once vehemently asked for in the midst of the worst...and the rest you can probably piece together,” when I nod, since what was I supposed to say? “So no, not exactly, but I didn’t think moving on was something we were capable of.”

  “So you thought you would both continue to love one another, but not be together?”

  She tilts her head and really looks at me for the first time since she began her story, and then nods, smiles, then starts to giggle, “What a ridiculous expectation when you put it that way, but yes, that is exactly what I expected.”

  “Not fair to anyone it seems to me.”

  “No, I suppose not,” she smiles again, and I give her a gentle smile back.

  “You’ll be alright,” I grab her hand and will it to be true. She’s been through the wringer. I’ll show her that leaving was for the best even if it takes me a long time to show her the truth of it.

  She squeezes my hand and nods, “I know I will be. Thanks for giving me your ear, though I bet you’re regretting it now. I basically told you my life story!” Her cheeks redden.

  “What kind of friend would I be if I didn't loan my ear out once in awhile?”

  “A shitty one.”

  “And she's back,” we both start to laugh. After we settle, we continue to drink wine, talk of mundane things, and outwardly ignore what she decided to share. I can tell it’s exactly what she wanted, and since the past had crept into my mind, I’m glad to have her as a distraction too.

  Chapter 8

  “...I think that one of us needs to test the waters,” I suggest.

  “What does that mean?” Echo asks.

  “It means that one of us starts to date her, if she is even interested, then as it progresses...we see if she’s open to the idea.”

  “If she isn’t?”

  “Then there will be a decision that will need to be made.”

  I think we both need a moment after it being said out loud. We haven't known another way since we met. I’m not sure we even know what being with a woman looks like without the other being in the room, but it is exactly what I am proposing. If she can’t deal, and one of us digs in and can’t find their way out again…

  “So who’s it going to be?” I ask the question not knowing if I want the answer.

  His hand turns white around his beer bottle. That's answer enough.

  “Then why are you still sitting around with me for?” I ask.

  “What?” He shrugs as if I’m oblivious.

  “That beer did nothing to you man,” I clink my own against his, making him look down. When he notices what I had, his hand starts to relax around the glass, “It’s clear you want first shot, and I don’t have an issue with it. I mean...if she even gives you the time of day,” I start to chuckle. Despite my jab, I already see that he is starting to relax.

  He shrugs, “Alright, but we both know she won’t tell me no.”

  “I’m going to never let you live it down if she does,” I start to laugh again, and see the punch to my arm well before it even makes its mark, but I only laugh harder when it does.

  Chapter 8.5

  “Uhhh,” I moan as I hold my head from exploding. The taste of my mouth makes my body want to hurl. I try to take stock of my surroundings to distract myself before my stomach has time to decide.

  The light coming from my window is harsh and makes my head pound even harder. My eyes go to my bedside clock and I register that it’s past noon. Then I realize I’m on the floor, my sheets tangled in my feet, and my drinking partner is sprawled on my bed, mouth hanging open. Attractive, and if my head wasn’t splitting, I may have laughed. I’m hungover, not stupid.

  The knock from the front door comes again and I decide that must have been what woke me. I rise tentatively to my feet, and I moan again. Once I get moving, I smack Brook right on her ass cheek that is peeking out of her underwear.

  “I’m never drinking with you again!” I claim in my quietest whisper as I push her head into the comforter to muffle her answering groans, “Get up, your son’s at the door wondering where you are.”

  That makes her perk up, and then soon regret it as she holds her head, cursing, “What time is it?”

  I point to the clock not bothering to answer the question, “Bathroom,” I say, “Get up, the door is hurting my head.”

  When I click the bathroom door behind me, she is slowly getting to her feet. I rub at my face as a fountain that seems to have no end comes from my body. It is also making me realize how damn thirsty I am. My stomach lurches thinking of putting anything down my throat, but water is definitely in order.

  Finishing up I head out back into the bedroom not finding Brook, she must have left. I don’t bother putting any pants on my way to the kitchen to get that H2O. I grab the first glass I can find in the cupboard, filling it up at the sink. I bring it to my lips and halfway through the glass I sputter and choke. In the middle of my house, arms crossed, looking completely edible is Echo.

  “Holy shit balls! You scared the shit out of me. How did you get in?!” He points to the front door with his thumb as if that answers all.

  “How? Why?” I’m not sure which is more important at this point.

  “Your next-door neighbor let me in.”

  “Mhhhhmmm,” I hum in irritation, “Still why? Why are you here?” I encompass his being, “In my house?”

 

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