Flight to the Horizon, page 15
* * *
Janine nestled against Kerri and tried to relax for the first time in a very long while. She’d lost the ability to sleep soundly when she was with Ryan. She’d trained herself to be a very light sleeper around him because he was either drunk, or high, most of the time, and because of his constant demand for bizarre, violent sex after they were married.
Now she was exhausted but couldn’t sleep. Every time she drifted off, the trauma lurked just under the surface, waiting to get her. She knew what was happening with her mind but was helpless to stop it. Conjuring up the image of her kind therapist, Christine, she tried to recite the mantra she’d learned: “I am a free person. He can’t hurt me anymore. I did not cause this. I am loved.”
The words that had been a beam of light during her darkest moments seemed to fail her this time. She knew her fear from the raft ordeal was triggering her previous PTSD, but her usual coping mechanisms weren’t enough. The only thing she could hang on to was Kerri.
Despite everything they’d been through, she still trusted Kerri with her life. Kerri would protect her, no matter what.
“Am I keeping you awake? I can move to the chair.” Kerri’s voice sounded husky with sleep.
“No. You’re not keeping me awake, and I prefer you right here.” She pulled Kerri’s arm tighter around her.
“You’re tossing and turning, and I thought I was disturbing you.”
“I’m having trouble getting to sleep. It’s just the old demons again. Sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. We both just went through hell. I could call sick bay and see if they have any sleeping pills, if you want?”
“No, thanks. I can’t take any of that stuff, and neither should you. The first thing they’re going to do when we step off this boat is drug test us.”
“You’re right about that. Does anything help you? Hot chocolate? That always works for me.”
“Sounds nice, but I’ll just try my breathing exercises. If I’m bothering you, I’ll go back to the chair.”
“You’re fine right here.” Kerri snuggled closer. “How about a back rub? That might help you relax and go to sleep.”
“A back rub? Really? That has to be the oldest line in the book.” Janine couldn’t help but laugh. “Is that how you got the nickname ‘Don Juanita,’ with lines like that?”
“I’m only talking about a therapeutic back rub. No strings attached. I promise.”
“Sure. Why not? I’m too tired to fight.” Janine pulled her shirttail out of her dungaree pants and rolled over so she lay facedown.
“Sorry. I don’t have any oil.”
Kerri slipped off her jacket, turned onto her side, and slid her hand slowly under Janine’s shirt. After making small, light circles at Janine’s waist with just her fingertips, she moved up her spine. Janine exhaled and tried to focus only on the lines Kerri was drawing on her skin. Her touch was soft and gentle, and a vision of skiers making snow trails on a virgin slope came to mind. The tightness in her shoulders started to release.
“Your neck and shoulder muscles are as hard as rocks. Would you like me to try to loosen those spasms? I’ll have to press harder, so is that okay?” Kerri’s voice was as soothing as her hands.
“Yes. Please do.”
As Kerri’s strong hands squeezed and massaged her tight muscles, Janine couldn’t stop the small moans emerging from deep within her throat. Kerri’s hands were magical as she kneaded the sore spots. Tingles ran down her spine from the firm yet soft strokes across her back. The anxiety from earlier disappeared, as did her fear of the dark.
Janine continued to lie on the bed soaking up tenderness coming through Kerri’s fingers. She would lie there and let Kerri touch her as long as she could. She thought of their first back rub, when Janine was sunburned after their snorkeling trip. Kerri had been so gentle and kind on that occasion, and that experience had led to their first kiss on the flight deck. That was so yummy.
She melted into Kerri’s caresses across her back. Her lips tingled with the memory of Kerri’s velvet-soft lips opening for her. She wanted more kisses like that, a lot more. The heat of desire rose up from somewhere deep within her, and she didn’t fight it this time. She let her hips gyrate against Kerri’s lap.
“Um, Janine, are you trying to tell me something? Or am I misreading things?”
“You’re not misreading anything. It feels so good to have you touch me.”
The desire in Janine’s belly was now a consuming fire she could no longer ignore. She slowly rolled toward Kerri, gazed into her eyes, then reached for Kerri’s face with her hands and pulled her down to kiss her. Kerri’s lips were just as soft and luscious as she remembered. Janine opened her mouth for more. The tip of Kerri’s tongue danced across her lower lip, then slowly entered her hungry mouth. Their kisses grew more fervent.
One of Kerri’s hands was still beneath Janine’s shirt, and she moved it up along the side of Janine’s ribs. She realized what Kerri’s target was and was eager to feel Kerri’s hand on her breast. She wrapped her arms around Kerri’s shoulders and pulled her on top. The weight of Kerri’s body pressing against her own made Janine swoon. They fit together like puzzle pieces. Kerri continued to kiss her with more intensity as she moved her hand over Janine’s breast.
“Oh, my God, that feels amazing,” Janine murmured.
Kerri pressed her thigh between Janine’s legs, and Janine kissed her harder.
Kerri surprised her when she broke their kiss. “Are you sure you want this?”
“I’m not sure of anything right now. I just want to keep kissing you.”
Kerri answered her with more passionate kisses, and then she started to unbutton and remove Janine’s blue dungaree shirt. Janine was a little scared, but excited, and Kerri’s strong hands squeezing her breasts as she kissed her made Janine feel like she was floating on air. It had been so long since anyone had caressed her breasts with tenderness. She was hungry for more, and she wanted to taste Kerri’s flesh.
“Take your shirt off.”
Kerri quickly removed her uniform shirt and bra, revealing perfect, medium-sized breasts with hardened peaks. Janine lowered her head to taste the tempting nipples. She sucked a dark-mauve tip into her mouth and swirled her tongue all around it. The sound of Kerri’s moans made Janine throb inside. She caressed Kerri’s breasts as she feasted on them.
Kerri emitted a deep sound and pressed her breasts farther into Janine’s mouth. Janine devoured her and wanted so much more.
A sharp rap at the door interrupted their passion. “Captain Sullivan?”
“Yes?” Kerri answered curtly.
“It’s Lieutenant Morris. The skipper needs to see you in her office. I’m supposed to escort you. I’ll wait outside the door until you’re ready.”
“Thank you, Lieutenant. I’ll be right there.” Kerri grumbled her reply, clearly unhappy at having to leave. “I’m so sorry. I’ll come back as soon as I can.”
Kerri threw on her clothes, then came over to Janine. “I’d like to continue where we left off, if that’s okay.” She gave Janine a dazzling smile.
“Of course. Me too.”
They shared a sweet kiss one more time, and then Kerri left.
After Janine heard the door latch, the scent of Kerri’s skin lingered, and she pulled a pillow next to her breasts, wishing it were Kerri.
* * *
Friday, May 9
Kerri was very uncomfortable as she quickly marched to the skipper’s office. Her arousal made her very sensitive, and her uniform slacks were rubbing. “Ow.”
“Are you all right, ma’am?”
“Yes. I’m fine. Just tired.”
Damn it…I bet my neck and face are bright red too. Stacey Gentry will know exactly what we’ve been up to. Oh, well, she’s probably jealous.
“Here you go, ma’am. Have a nice day.” Lieutenant Morris did an about-face and was off.
Stacey opened her door before Kerri even knocked.
“Kerri, come in, please. Why don’t you sit on the couch with me? Would you like a drink?”
“I didn’t think alcohol was allowed on navy ships. And, yes, I’d love one.”
Stacey pulled out a bottle of Jameson whiskey from her lower desk drawer, then joined her on the couch.
“I need to tell you something, and I wish I didn’t have to. But you’re on my ship now, and you’re my responsibility.”
Kerri’s insides tightened, like she was ready for a blow.
“Go ahead, Skipper.”
“I’ve heard scuttlebutt on the ship about your passengers.”
“What do you mean?”
“A David Shapiro, from Los Angeles, has been approaching all the other passengers about starting a class-action lawsuit against your airline, and against you personally.”
That news didn’t surprise Kerri. He’d been a thorn in her side since they first ditched the airplane.
“Thanks for telling me. I’ll talk to him later and straighten everything out. I had to pull my gun on him in the raft, and he’s pissed at me about it. I’ll apologize and promise him substantial compensation from my company.”
“It’s not just that. He got a satellite phone from one of the researchers and called the press.”
“Well, I was kind of expecting that too. Not too many people survive a water landing, so I’m sure the news media will be interested. Thank you for filling me in. I appreciate the heads-up.”
“Anytime, Kerri. I checked your service record and saw you had a very distinguished air force career, as did your father. I just didn’t want you walking into a buzz saw.”
“Thanks, Stacey.”
“Oh, by the way, my yeoman will pick up your uniform, and Janine’s, and clean them up. They look pretty bad. He can’t work magic, but he can improve their appearance.”
Kerri let out a big sigh of relief. Being called into the commander’s office was never pleasant, but she was happy she’d made a new friend in Stacey.
She entered the skipper’s cabin as quietly as she could.
“Kerri? Is that you?”
“Yes. It’s me.”
“Come over here.” Janine opened her arms and made room on the bed, then flipped on the light. “What did the skipper want?”
“She told me Mr. Shapiro is trying to organize the passengers into suing me and that he’d alerted the press about it.”
“That piece of crap. And I was so nice to him.”
“Well, at least we’re around to tell the truth. I’m not surprised. We did an amazing job of dealing with multiple emergencies—ditching the plane and keeping our passengers alive in a raft for days. I think we’ll be fine.”
Kerri’s stomach growled.
“You never got any food, did you?”
“I guess not. I think I’ll clean up and change clothes. Then maybe we can go get something to eat.”
The gentle touching from before was gone, like a clearing fog. Kerri had to push her romantic hopes for a morning alone with Janine to the back of her mind. There would be an investigation, a thorough and comprehensive examination of every aspect of her flying career, and of her entire life. Oh, crap.
Chapter Seventeen
After stuffing themselves with a hot breakfast, Janine and Kerri went to the skipper’s cabin again and slept for another seven hours. A familiar knock at the door awakened them.
“Yes, Lieutenant Morris. What is it?”
“Captain Sullivan and Miss Case, I have your uniforms. I’ll just hang them outside the door. Also, the skipper said to inform you that we will be arriving in Honolulu in four hours.”
“Thank you, Lieutenant.”
Janine felt Kerri get up, and a cold wind chilled her back.
“Where are you going?”
“To the lav, except the navy calls it a head.”
Janine was still exhausted, even after her big meal and hours of sleep.
“I’m going back to sleep. Wake me when we hit the top of descent point.”
Kerri came over to the side of the bed and bent down close to Janine’s ear. “I have a better idea. Let’s go up to the bridge and watch for Oahu. It’s a beautiful island.”
They combed their hair, tucked in their dungaree shirts, then walked to the stairs that led to the bridge. The door was open, with a brisk ocean breeze flowing through the panoramic windows. Stacey, who was sitting in her skipper’s chair, turned to them and gestured them in.
The view from the bridge windows was spectacular. The ocean was deep blue with small, occasional whitecaps. The sky was Janine’s favorite color, the pale blue of Molly’s eyes. Sunlight danced on the water like glittering diamonds. The ocean looked so peaceful and beautiful from here, so different from the menacing water they’d had to deal with on their raft. Janine shuddered at her memory.
“Is it all right if we just sit here for a while?” Kerri asked Stacey.
“Sure. Help yourself to some coffee.”
Watching the horizon gently move up and down from the bridge of this ship helped Janine relax and center herself. In her job as a flight attendant, she’d trained herself to talk to strangers, smile, and be friendly to everyone. She genuinely liked most people, but she was always on alert.
Janine felt safe in an airplane, maybe because it was an enclosed space, or maybe because she knew no one could harm her while she was flying in the sky. Many people were afraid to fly, and she certainly understood fear, but she could use her calming manner and kind touch to help people overcome their anxiety.
They hadn’t seen many of their passengers, because they’d been sleeping so much. Janine could barely contain her excitement at the thought of seeing Molly. The company would have contacted Rosa, her emergency person, and flown them from LA to Honolulu. She couldn’t let herself think about Molly, or she’d start to cry.
But she could think about one thing, and that was Kerri’s luscious mouth. A shiver ran through her belly at the remembrance of Kerri’s tongue in her mouth and Kerri’s hands on her breasts.
For the first time in three years, Janine allowed herself to think about the possibility of a real relationship. Maybe Kerri Sullivan was the woman she was supposed to meet to change the direction of her life. She liked her quiet, small life with Molly, but she did long for someone to love. And she wanted a woman. Her brief foray into heterosexual marriage had been disastrous, with the exception of Molly.
Last night with Kerri confirmed that she had real feelings only for women. She loved the feel of Kerri’s strong body, her amazing hands, and her delicious lips. As soon as they docked in Honolulu and got through the madhouse of the press, she couldn’t wait to go to the crew hotel, take Kerri to her room, and finish what they’d started in the skipper’s cabin.
Kerri pointed straight ahead. “There’s Oahu.”
It was only a dark speck on the horizon, but it meant seeing Molly. As the ship grew closer, Janine could make out more details of the island.
“I can see Diamond Head.” Kerri squeezed her arm. She was as excited as a new tourist, and she flashed that dazzling smile again. Janine’s stomach did flip-flops when she sat next to Kerri and felt the heat of her body. Only now did Janine allow herself to believe this was real, that they would truly be able to go home and be safe.
“Thanks for visiting, but we have to get busy now. Please return to your cabin and get ready for arrival,” Stacey said.
Janine and Kerri hurried back to the skipper’s cabin and changed into their clean uniforms. Stacey’s yeoman had done an amazing job of cleaning them.
Kerri took Janine’s hands in her own. “I have to talk to you before we get off this boat and face a throng of people. Let’s sit down.”
Kerri’s hands were so warm she wanted to hold onto them forever.
“I realize we’ve been through a life-threatening event, but I know what I feel. I want to be with you, Janine. You’ve had a very difficult past, but that doesn’t matter to me. I care about you, and I want to see if we have a future together. I really hope you feel the same way.”
Janine looked into Kerri’s eyes, and love surrounded her heart. It was the first time she’d ever had that sensation.
“Yes, Kerri. I feel the same way about you. I trust you, and I’m willing to try.”
As Janine spoke those words for the first time ever, a weight lifted off her shoulders.
“Attention, all crew,” the PA blared. “Report to stations for docking. Passengers, please stay in the staterooms until we tell you we are ready to disembark.”
“I guess we’re getting close. I want to introduce you to my daughter, Molly.”
“Are you sure you want her to meet me now? It’s okay if you want to spend tonight with her. I’ll certainly understand.”
“You’re right. That might be a lot for one day. But I want her to meet you soon. You’re very important to me.”
She moved closer, wrapped her arms around Kerri’s neck, and kissed her slowly, longingly, passionately. She wanted every second with her before they had to face the world.
* * *
“All passengers, report to the port side, main deck, to disembark.”
“Ready?” Janine asked.
Kerri didn’t want this moment to end. She could get lost in her kisses and spend the rest of her days caressing Janine’s soft skin. She admired Janine’s other physical assets, but her attraction consisted of so much more than just desire for a beautiful woman. Kerri had learned an amazing amount about her, in such a short period of time, that she felt like they’d been together for a long time. They’d learned to read each other’s moods, they both had tender hearts, and they both had never found real love.
Kerri had seen the true Janine when they’d stood together at the abyss of death. She wasn’t afraid of the prospect of her own demise, thinking only of her beloved daughter. When they had nothing left on the raft and only their strength of character remained, Janine had shown great courage and compassion. Kerri was so proud of her.
