Flight to the Horizon, page 13
Kerri tried not to react, just listen.
“I met Ryan in college. He was a handsome, fun frat boy with money. I knew I liked women, but I got drunk at a party and woke up with him on top of me. He was very charming, and he convinced me to date him, and then I ended up pregnant. He wanted me to get rid of the baby, and I sure didn’t want one, but I just couldn’t go through with an abortion. He was mad at me, but he said we had to get married because I was carrying the next heir to the family fortune.”
“Wow. Did you want to marry him?”
“No, but I didn’t know what to do. Then his family worked on me. He took me to meet them, and his parents were nice, living in a huge mansion. They were thrilled we were having a baby and promised I’d never have to worry about anything. They insisted on paying for everything, but they wanted a quick, small wedding, with no press. I felt like I was caught in a big machine, had no say in anything, and was just dragged along.”
“Did you love him, Janine?”
“Not really. I thought I could learn to love him, for the sake of the baby, but I was wrong. Also, my own parents were furious with me for getting pregnant. My dad told me I was a stupid loser and was throwing my life away. They cut me off financially, and they didn’t even want to meet Ryan.”
“I’m sorry they reacted that way. That must have been very hard for you.”
“They were right, and I was an idiot to marry him, but I did it anyway. In the beginning, he got used to the idea of having a baby and was good to me. He bought only the best of everything and became obsessed over my body as I grew bigger. Apparently, he had a thing for pregnant women. He started demanding all this weird sexual stuff. I tried to go along with it, to make him happy, but I just couldn’t. That’s when he started drugging me.”
“He drugged you when you were pregnant? What the fuck was wrong with him?”
“Everything was wrong with him, Kerri. Absolutely everything.”
Janine was silent, and then Kerri saw a tear roll down her cheek. She reached over and gently took Janine’s hand in hers.
“We don’t have to talk anymore.” They sat next to each other on the raft, shoulder to shoulder, not speaking.
* * *
Janine settled against the comfort of Kerri’s shoulder, her eyes closed, fighting the demons from her past. Why had she even opened her mouth about Ryan? Was she making some futile attempt to purge all her resentment and self-loathing, like popping a giant pustule, before she died?
No. It wasn’t that. It was a lot simpler than trying to purge herself. In the last moments of her life, she just wanted to be honest with someone, for the first time in many years. She wanted to tell her truth to someone who cared about her, in hopes she could forgive herself for the mess she’d made of her life.
Kerri didn’t judge her but just listened with kindness on her face. She hadn’t intended to tell Kerri about the abusive relationship she’d been in with Ryan. She only wanted to tell Kerri why she had to rebuff her calls and texts. But something about Kerri made her feel like she could trust her. It wasn’t her captain’s authority, or her dashing good looks, but some other quality that made Janine feel safe to talk to her. Maybe it was because Kerri was a person you could count on.
Whether she was piloting a massive 767, helping a novice snorkeler, or being in charge of a raft with seventy panicked people, Kerri sought out responsibility. She stepped up to be a leader when others ran away. As a flight attendant, Janine trusted her with her life when she was working in the cabin, and she trusted her now.
“What’s your daughter’s name?”
“Molly. She’s about to turn six.” Janine tried to swallow in spite of the lump in her throat.
“What does she look like?” Janine sensed Kerri’s kindness as she tried to steer the conversation to a different topic.
“She kind of resembles a younger version of Mel. She has freckles, strawberry-blond hair, and the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. She’s the light of my life.”
“Is that why you ignored Mel? Because she looks like your daughter?”
“Yes, and she doesn’t deserve that. I just can’t face the fact that I’ll never see Molly again.”
Kerri reached for her hand. “I’m sure she knows how much you love her.”
Janine had to change the subject, or she would be a blubbering mess. “Who’s waiting for you at home?”
“Just my dog, Brownie. She’s a sweet old thing, and I have a great pet sitter.”
Kerri became very quiet and stared straight ahead.
Janine gave her space for a few minutes, then felt the wind whip cold salt spray against the back of her neck. Their time was very limited, and she wanted to know more about Kerri.
“Will you tell me about your family?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry. I wasn’t listening.”
“What’s the matter, Kerri? Do you have some kind of plan?”
“I wish, but I’m all out of ideas. I was just wondering if I could have done anything differently during that emergency. Maybe I missed something on a checklist, or the fuel leak, and I could have saved the gas so we could’ve made it to Hilo. I’m wracking my brain.”
Janine saw the genuine concern on Kerri’s face.
“What’s the point of beating yourself up? We are where we are. You did your best, didn’t you? That’s all that matters.”
“It’s nice of you to say that, but that’s not the point. I’m responsible for all this.” She swept her arm across the entire raft.
“If I made a mistake, everyone’s death will be my fault.” Kerri looked away from her.
Janine’s heart ached at the anguished look on Kerri’s face. She turned Kerri’s cheek toward her. “You didn’t cause this. An engine blew up. Shit happens.” She looked deep into Kerri’s eyes. Kerri had to hear her words.
“Guilt is a useless emotion. It doesn’t solve anything, and believe me, I know. Don’t waste your last hours on earth on something you cannot change.”
Kerri put her hand over Janine’s and held it to her face. “Thank you.”
Janine looked over her shoulder at the darkening horizon. “Let’s talk about something else. Why did you keep calling me after I didn’t respond?”
Kerri smiled sheepishly. “Because I had a great time with you in Maui, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
Janine’s face felt hot. She knew her ears were red and hoped Kerri wouldn’t notice. A vision of Molokini came into her mind, and she felt herself smile.
“Maui was so beautiful. I had a great time with you too.”
“I felt something with you when we kissed on the flight deck. I know you felt it too. I was just confused that you didn’t want to talk to me. I didn’t know about your family situation, and I didn’t mean to harass you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I knew it could never go anywhere because of Ryan. I didn’t mean to be rude to you, despite what the Stew Network said.”
“What did the Stew Network say?”
“Let’s just say, they were less than complimentary.”
“Now I really want to know. What did they tell you about me?” Kerri appeared very intense.
“Well, a few people said you were a womanizer with a very notched-up bedpost.”
“Really. I think I can guess who told you that. Based on what they said, I can understand why you’d never want to become involved with me. Too bad you believed them.”
“They said your nickname was Don Juanita. What was I supposed to think?”
Kerri chortled. “I guess I deserve that.”
Janine laughed with her. Kerri’s soft brown eyes sparkled when she laughed.
They leaned back against the raft tube, their hands still connected.
“You know what?”
“What’s that?”
“I have many regrets in my life, but the most recent one is that I didn’t return one of your phone calls. I would’ve liked to go on another date with you.” She squeezed Kerri’s hand.
Kerri returned the squeeze.
“I was planning on taking you to my favorite restaurant in Kona. You can watch the sun set into the ocean from your table.”
“That sounds lovely. I’m sorry we’ll never get a chance to do that.” Tears stung her eyes.
What was the point of trying to maintain her composure in front of the passengers anymore? She’d never see Molly again, she and Kerri had never even had a chance, and soon her life would be over. The impending doom weighed her shoulders down like an impossible burden. At least she wouldn’t face death alone.
Please, God. Make it quick.
Chapter Fifteen
Kerri sat next to Janine but had nothing to say. She was overwhelmed. Her sense of failure, and the impending death of all of them, made her feel powerless. This was a rare, and awful, emotion. She’d worked hard her entire life to excel in school, in sports, in pilot training, and even in her relationships that never seemed to work out. But now, she could do nothing to save her passengers and crew.
Kerri didn’t fear many things in life. As a military combat pilot, she’d gone up against enemy aircraft and always prevailed. She’d never been afraid of dying in a plane crash because she’d always felt safe in a jet, even when dealing with an emergency. It was her destiny to fly, and she was at home in the sky. She was always confident in both her flying ability and her skill leading a crew. Now, she was waiting for her biggest threat to consume her.
Kerri had never been able to overcome her fear of drowning. She loved the beach and water sports, but she’d never even tried scuba diving because she feared suffocating under the water.
The only time she’d ever been uncomfortable in a plane was when she was flying over the North Atlantic at night in the winter. The thought of ending up in those frigid waters gave her nightmares.
For the sake of her passengers, Kerri would try to muster her final remnants of courage to face death. They had all trusted her with their lives when they boarded her 767 three days ago, and now they would all die together.
“Captain Kerri! Captain Kerri!” Mel was excitedly climbing over passengers to get to her. “Look over here.”
“What is it?”
“I saw flashes. Over there.” Mel pointed to the north.
“Are you sure? Was it your signal mirror reflecting on the water?”
“No, Captain Kerri. They flashed SOS back to me. Come over here and look.” She grabbed Kerri’s hand and pulled her up.
Mel pointed to a slight gap in the clouds. “Watch what happens.” She brought the signal mirror up to her eye and flashed her dot-dash code.
“Are you seeing an airplane?”
“No. Look to the right of that gap in the clouds, at the water, and wait.”
After a few seconds, Kerri saw the unmistakable three dots, three dashes flashed back at them from a spot on the northern horizon.
“Oh, my God. That might be a ship. Mel, keep signaling. Where’s the emergency kit? I need the flares.”
Janine had joined them on the north side of the raft. “Kerri, is there really something out there?”
“I’m not sure yet. It might be a ship.”
Mel shouted, “Captain Kerri, I see something.”
“Where, honey?” Kerri stood behind Mel looking in the direction she was pointing.
“Right there. I see a black speck.”
“Well, I’ll be damned. Mel, you’re amazing. That’s a ship all right, and it’s headed for us.”
Janine grabbed Kerri’s arm. “Do you think we might actually be rescued?”
“I don’t know, but we’re going to do our best to make sure they see us. Just pray they reach us before we get pulled into that storm.”
From the west, lightning flashed inside the towering clouds. The wind blew harder and pushed the raft toward the storm. It would be a race to see who reached them first—another violent storm or their rescue ship.
Everyone buzzed at the news of a ship coming toward them. Kerri held both their emergency flares in her hands, waiting for the ship to move a little closer before she popped her smoke. The water was moving with ten-foot swells. Even if the ship made it to them in time, it would be difficult getting seventy people off the raft and into the ship in these rough seas.
Kerri could make out the bow of the ship as it powered closer. It wasn’t a huge cargo ship, but at this point, any ship would do. She climbed over to the west side of the raft so she’d be downwind when she popped her flare.
“Everyone, move back,” she said.
Leaning over the side of the raft so none of the burning magnesium from the flare would touch it, she snapped the top off the flare, and a plume of bright-orange smoke rose to the sky. She had only one more flare left.
“Come on. Let me know you see us.”
Kerri spotted a red arc in the sky as someone on the ship responded to her signal with their own flare.
“They see us! Everyone, wave your arms and make some noise.”
The passengers frantically waved at the ship, and people started to jump up and down.
“Stay seated, stay seated. We have to keep the raft safe until they reach us.”
“Kerri, is this real, or is it a mirage? Are we truly being rescued?” Janine asked.
“This ship is definitely real. We still have to control the passengers to safely get them from the raft to the ship. I need you to help me keep them organized.”
Janine crawled across the raft to get passengers to help her maintain order.
The bow of the ship was rising and falling in the waves. They had all their running lights on, and Kerri could see lettering on the side of the bow. It was the USS Sally Ride.
A voice pierced the howling wind. It was the loudspeaker from the ship.
“This is the United States Navy. Do not attempt to exit until we secure your raft to our ship. Remain calm, and we will assist you with boarding. Stand by for further instructions.”
A collective cheer rose from the passengers. Maybe their ordeal would soon be over, if the large waves didn’t swamp them first.
Kerri could hardly believe her eyes. The ship looked huge compared to their raft. She still had to get everyone onto the ship, but she began to feel some relief from her burden of guilt. She watched a big crane lower a black Zodiac skiff into the water as the ship turned and slowly approached.
The ship’s loudspeaker sounded again. “Remain clear of the rescue boat. Sailors will secure your raft, then tow it to the ship and help all of you get aboard safely. Do exactly what the sailors direct you to do.”
The raft was heaving up and down in the water as the ship neared. Two sailors from the Zodiac tied tow ropes to the raft, then pulled them through the rough water to the ship. A platform lowered from the ship’s stern.
As they approached the back of the ship, Kerri saw a figure in a blue camouflage uniform standing on the deck above the platform.
“Secure those lines to the raft. As soon as it’s on the platform, get the passengers out. Get a move on. We have to leave now!”
The sailors lashed the raft to the platform with their ropes, and then other sailors ran up to the raft and lifted people out.
The commander on the deck yelled, “Make two lines. Don’t push. We will get everyone on board. Move into the equipment bay as fast as you can. Is anyone injured? Corpsmen, front and center.”
“Well, I’ll be damned. Our rescue ship has a woman captain,” Kerri said.
The name on her uniform read “Gentry,” and she had short, salt-and-pepper hair. Standing with her hands on her hips, she barked commands to her crew. They quickly helped everyone off the raft and into the ship. Kerri noticed Mr. Shapiro was one of the first ones off the raft, and then he huddled in a corner, crying. To be fair, everyone was crying after they got off, including Janine. Kerri looked around to make sure everyone was off before she left.
“Come on, Captain Sullivan. It’s time to go.” The ship’s skipper held out her hand and assisted Kerri out of their life raft.
Kerri looked into her gray eyes, climbed out, and threw her arms around her. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She didn’t even try to hold back her tears.
“We’ll have time for that later, Captain. Get your passengers squared away, and my corpsmen will take care of their medical needs. I need to load your raft on board, and then we’ll get the hell out of here before the storm hits.”
“Why don’t you just cut it loose? We don’t need it anymore.”
“Can’t do that. I have orders to retrieve it. It’s evidence.” Then she turned to her sailors. “Stow the Zodiac, haul that raft in, and then secure the platform.”
Her crew answered. “Aye, ma’am.”
The crew struggled with the bulky mess, and then Kerri saw the skipper draw a big black knife from her belt and stab both the top and bottom raft tubes. The crew dragged it aboard as air hissed out of it.
Kerri felt a twinge of sadness seeing the gray raft deflate. Thanks for keeping us alive, old friend.
* * *
Janine had been the next-to-last person off the raft and went to work helping the passengers get situated in the ship’s bay, even directing the US Navy corpsmen to the most ill people. They were all crying and hugging each other, and she cried along with them, hardly believing they’d actually been rescued. Maybe all this was a dream and she was delirious. She kept looking over her shoulder to make sure Kerri got off the raft and finally saw her leave it and hug the ship’s captain.
Janine was confused that the sailors had brought their raft on board, especially in light of the big waves. She looked around the equipment bay, with its odd-shaped, covered objects attached to the walls. It wasn’t a huge space, and they filled it to capacity.
After the deflated raft was aboard, the bay doors closed, and the ship’s commander stepped up onto a box so everyone could see her.
“I’m Lieutenant Commander Stacey Gentry, skipper of the US Navy Research Vessel Sally Ride. I wish I was welcoming you aboard under better circumstances, but we’re glad you’re here, and my crew will do its best to take care of all of you. I know you must be tired, hungry, and thirsty. I have only two corpsmen to attend to your medical needs, but we will get to all of you. My sailors have graciously agreed to let you use their bunks after you’ve received food and water. It will be very crowded on board until we get you to Honolulu, which will take several hours. This will be a rough ride until we establish some distance between us and the storm. Finally, no one is allowed on the aft fantail deck. We have classified equipment on board, so please respect that request. I have to return to the bridge, and my officer of the deck, Lieutenant Morris, will take care of any of your questions. Captain Sullivan, I need you to come with me.”
