I Thought My Soul Would Rise and Fly, page 10
Wednesday, November 1, 1865
Dear Friend,
Today is drizzling and chilly. Mister Joe has promised to bring me back a gift when he returns from Charleston. Imagine a gift and it’s not even Christmastime. He will also buy slates for the children so that they can learn to write.
I want to ask him if he is going to see his daughter, but I am not supposed to know his business. I will miss him. I hope he returns. I don’t want to lose yet another friend.
Monday, November 6, 1865
Dear Friend,
Ma’am is fit to be tied. Mister Joe told her that he’s going to Charleston, but when he said he had to go to see about his brother, who is ill, she calmed down some.
“Daughter,” he said, “sometimes you have to tell a little black lie. I don’t have a brother in Charleston. I have a sister. But I don’t want to put no bad mouth on her.”
I was sitting at the table and cutting up an onion while Mister Joe washed the rice, and he told me about his daughter, the same story Ruth told. But I listened as though I was hearing it for the first time. “She beautiful and she smart just like you,” he said proudly.
He promises that he is coming back.
Wednesday, November 8, 1865
Dear Friend,
Mister Joe left today. That heavy stone is lying on my chest again. When I saw his mule cart clanging down the road, I wanted to leave, too. I want to feel free, as though I can truly do as I please. The only time I feel free is when I am in the spinning house with the children. There is only one more month left in this year. What will the new year bring? I wonder.
Thursday, November 9, 1865
Dear Friend,
There are so many things to do now that Mister Joe is gone. Nancy and I have to cook, but I am the one who actually does all of the cooking. Today I made okra gumbo … it didn’t taste as good as Cook’s, of course — didn’t even taste as good as Mister Joe’s, but Ma’am didn’t complain, and it sure tasted better than Nancy’s biscuits.
I can’t get away to the spinning house every day, but I did sneak away for a short time this morning. Miss Nosy Nancy asked me where I’d been. She was looking for me to help her and Ma’am beat the dust out of the drapes.
I told her I was teaching the children.
“I won’t tell Mistress on you this time, Patsy.”
I wish Nancy would stop saying Mistress.
Friend, I wish she would tell Ma’am that I can read and write. Nothing Ma’am can do about it now. She can’t take out of my head what’s already in there.
Sunday, November 19, 1865
Dear Friend,
The hands are fertilizing the cotton fields with pine straw so that they will be ready for the new planting season next year. Many of the leaves are red and yellow, and the pine trees are a deep green. Even though there was a gray misty rain this morning, the trees looked like a painting.
I feel that next year nothing will be the same. I feel deep in my heart that Brother Solomon, Douglass, and all of the rest of the hands and their families will leave.
I can’t imagine staying here without the children, and Douglass, and all of the people in the quarters.
There was no church in the arbor because of the weather. It is cold and rainy. People prayed and sang in their own cabins. I worshiped with Brother Solomon, Violet, and their children, and then I went to the spinning house.
I pray for Mister Joe’s safe return every night.
Tuesday, November 21, 1865
Dear Friend,
No meeting again tonight. For Mister Joe is not here to get a paper, and everyone is so very tired.
Wednesday, November 22, 1865
Dear Friend,
A wonderful surprise today! As I was rushing to finish cleaning the breakfast dishes, Nancy flounced herself into the kitchen to tell me the postman left a big box by the gate and she couldn’t tote it alone.
I wiped my wet hands on my apron and limped faster than Nancy walked to the gate.
Friend, it was just as I’d thought. The box was from Reverend McNeal’s church and it was addressed to:
Davis Hall Plantation School
Davis Hall Plantation
Mars Bluff, South Carolina
We carried the box into the spinning house. When some of the children saw me and Nancy they followed us. I opened the box, and it was like finding gold. First thing I looked for was the Goody Two-Shoes book, but that wasn’t there. There were nursery rhymes and fairy tales though. I found a book about American history, too: The First American History for Children.
“I guess these ain’t for Mistress. What she want with a box of old books?”
I think Nancy is hopelessly stupid. But I was too excited to be angry with her. More children strolled in and each wanted a book of his or her own. One little girl asked, “We doing ABCs now?”
I noticed Nancy looking around the spinning house. “This the schoolhouse? Who fix it so decent?”
I told her we all did. Friend, I decided to have a lesson. Some of the books were too difficult, but I found one book that suited us all, for everyone knows their letters and this book starts with ABCs. It is called The Primer. Nancy sat herself down, nice as you please, on the bench, along with several children and listened to me read: “This is a fat hen. The hen has a nest in the box. She has eggs in the nest. A cat sees the nest and can get the eggs.”
Friend, we almost have a real school!
Thursday, November 23, 1865
Dear Friend,
I almost swooned today when Nancy asked me to teach her how to read. We made a trade. She does my chores while I work with the children in the morning. Nancy doesn’t want Ma’am to know that I’m teaching her. Poor Nancy has no mind of her own.
Sunday, November 26, 1865
Dear Friend,
Mister Joe might be on his way back from Charleston. I hope so. I miss his okra gumbo and his stories. Nancy’s biscuits are a little better. Violet said to me last Sunday, “I heard that gal who works with you made some biscuits that killed the old man.”
Friend, I know it wasn’t nice for me to laugh, but maybe if Nancy didn’t flounce behind Ma’am so much, people wouldn’t say such evil things about her.
Went to the arbor this morning. I also taught the children some new words. Some of them are like Luke. They remember everything I show them. I wonder how Luke and Ruth are keeping.
Tuesday, November 28, 1865
Dear Friend,
No meeting tonight. I moved back into the cottage because it is so very cold in the evening, and Ma’am began to worry me about staying in The House. I started to tell her that there is a haunt on The House because Sir is strolling in and out of the library, and I am afraid to stay there. But it would be evil to say something like that just to frighten her. I know she’s lonely in that house since Sarah and the children left and Sir is gone.
She still has her pet Nancy. Now Nancy sleeps in James’s room. She won’t tell Ma’am that I’m teaching her how to read and write. She doesn’t want to anger her. So I give her secret reading lessons in the storeroom. Nancy doesn’t play the mistress with me anymore. She doesn’t remember the letters as easily as Ruth and Luke did. She loves to practice writing her name, though: Nancy Davis.
Saturday, December 2, 1865
Dear Friend,
Mister Joe has not yet returned. The bales of cotton are stacked and ready to be counted. I feel that our old life at Davis Hall is ending. I have dreams of going to a grand city like Charleston, attending a freed men’s school, learning more things in books, and becoming a real teacher.
Sometimes, I regret not leaving with Ruth. Maybe I should have begged John to please let me go with them.
Tuesday, December 5, 1865
Dear Friend,
There was a Union League meeting tonight. Douglass brought the paper. When I sat on the bench he handed it to me and pointed to the name. “I don’t know every letter, Miss Patsy, but it looked like one of the papers we been reading.”
I smiled to steady my stammering and my reeling heart as I told him it was the right one. “The South Carolina Leader,” I said, pointing to each word.
Sunday, December 10, 1865
Dear Friend,
No more fieldwork on Sundays. The cotton is almost ready to be tallied and the people given their share. Every day I look for Mister Joe to ride through the gates. I hope he is well and nothing has happened to him. Thinking again about a suitable name for myself.
Monday, December 11, 1865
Dear Friend,
Mister Joe returned today, and he brought me a book! The Freedmen’s Third Reader. He also brought me paper and pen nibs.
He is so full of stories about Charleston and the convention. He saw so many educated black men there, a few from the North. He also explained that there have always been free black people, like him and his family, who live in Charleston, even during slavery times. Many of them are educated, and a number of them work as blacksmiths, barbers, tailors, and at other trades. He explained that now that all blacks are free, the state put restrictions on those trades. His real trade is a barber. But now he must pay money and have the special license to be a barber. There’s new laws about what blacks can do and not do. These laws are called the black codes.
But he told me not to worry because that’s why they had the convention. The blacks are free now, and they going to fight against all the codes and laws.
He explained how beautiful Charleston is even though it was torn up some during the War. And he saw his daughter. She is almost finished with her schooling.
Friend, I must go now so that I can read my new book.
Tuesday, December 12, 1865
Dear Friend,
I didn’t read the paper at the meeting tonight. Mister Joe was the paper, telling everything about the conference from beginning to end.
I love my new book.
Friday, December 15, 1865
Dear Friend,
I have finally found a name for myself — Phillis. I am naming myself after the poet Phillis Wheatley, who I read about in The Freedmen’s Third Reader. It begins like this:
“Phillis Wheatley, whose likeness is on this page, was brought to this country from Africa in the year 1761. She was then between seven and eight years old. She was bought by Mrs. John Wheatley, a Boston lady.” Phillis didn’t remember anything about her past life, like me. And she loved to read and write and became a famous poet. I think I am a lot like Phillis.
My second name shall be Frederick, like the other person I read about in my Freedmen’s Reader, Frederick Douglass. He was a slave, too, and taught himself how to read and write in secret! He became a famous abolitionist who spoke against slavery.
Friend, this book is a treasure. And so is Mister Joe.
Saturday, December 16, 1865
Dear Friend,
Nobody knows my new name but me. I have to become used to it myself before I tell anyone. What will Ma’am say when I tell her I have two names?
Sunday, December 17, 1865
Dear Friend,
I read to the children from my new book. They enjoy the stories and the pictures. Mister Joe bought slates and chalk like he promised, so now I can teach the children to write.
Monday, December 18, 1865
Dear Friend,
How things have changed in little ways here at Davis Hall. Now, Nancy brings me the mail in case there is something for someone besides Ma’am.
The wonderful news is I received a letter today from Luke and Ruth. Nancy was as excited as me. She tried to say the sounds of the first three letters: P, A, T. She looked over my shoulder as I read, trying to see how many words she knew. Here is the letter:
Dare Patsy,
I am fine. My mother is fine. My father is fine. We live in the city. I am in school. My teacher say I am the best one in school. I miss you. My mother say hello. Right soon. Love Luke Johnson.
It feels as if Luke and Ruth are here with me every time I read his letter. How I wish I was there in Charleston to help him. I will write him back and tell him my new name.
Monday, December 25, 1865
Christmas Day
This year, because of Sir’s death, there is no celebration. I went to the quarters after Nancy and I ate supper. Every cabin has a candle burning, and people are visiting back and forth. I visited Brother Solomon and Violet. When one of his children asked whether they were going to The House for candy and fruit, he said, “This year we have the gift of ourselves. We have a lot to be thankful for this first Christmas of freedom. We have a future now.”
What is my future? I wonder.
Tuesday, December 26, 1865
Dear Friend,
A wonderful thing happened today. Nancy asked Mister Joe to carry her, if he had time, to the Yankee regiment to visit her mother. She asked me not to tell Ma’am. I promised and made sure I did all of the cleaning, so Ma’am wouldn’t notice that Nancy’s chores weren’t done.
Her mother cried when she saw her. Nancy said she was sorry for the way she had acted, and would go and see her again sometime. Nancy is a fortunate girl. Maybe she is learning some sense.
Monday, January 1, 1866
Emancipation Day
Dear Friend,
No wash today. I spent almost the whole day in the quarters. We celebrated Emancipation Day. Some people came from other farms. Violet and the other women made greens and peas and rice, for good luck, for the new year. The people who visited brought sweet potato pies and pecan pies, and we had a good time. It seems as if everyone except me and the other children made a speech about how President Lincoln had signed the Emancipation Proclamation three years ago, and what this day means to all of us.
Brother Solomon said that we had survived the miserable time of slavery and that we must have the will and determination that Reverend McNeal spoke of, to face the future. “The future cannot be as harsh as the past has been.”
Brother Solomon and Douglass announced that some of the families on Davis Hall have decided to put their money from their share of the crops (when they get it) together and form an association to purchase land.
This was a wonderful day, Friend. For some reason, even though I do not know what will happen to me, I am starting to feel less anxious about the future.
Tuesday, January 2, 1866
Dear Friend,
This is the day for signing a new contract. I limped myself on out to the lawn when I saw the agent from the Freedmen’s Bureau, Ma’am, and all of the people standing there talking.
Ma’am told them that they would not be getting any land. She was not going to give away or sell any of it.
I looked at Douglass and Violet and Brother Solomon and the rest. But their faces didn’t show what they were thinking.
The agent had papers so the people could sign a sharecropping contract for this new year. Brother Solomon said, “No, we leaving.”
Ma’am got excited. “You must sign.”
Then Douglass spoke. “You didn’t keep your side of the contract. We was promised land and a school. We ain’t seen either one. If it wasn’t for that sweet little Patsy, none of our children would’ve learned their letters.”
Friend, my soul did rise and fly. His words still sound in my ears.
I thought Ma’am would faint. She accused Douglass of being drunk. The agent hushed her. Ma’am looked at me in a confused way.
And then Violet went right into Ma’am’s face. “We didn’t get that much money after all the work. Then you make us pay for them old slave cabins we living in and for the dry peck of corn and fat meat you ration out to us once a week.”
Brother Solomon had to calm her down. Then he said, “I guess we will just take our chances, but we ain’t signing no more contract. We leaving tomorrow.”
Well, I didn’t go back to The House but came here to the cottage to write to you, Friend. I feel like one of those magical Africans who can fly. I know I am young, but I can read, write, cook, wash, and teach. I should be able to find work and care for myself.
I am free, and I need to remember what Ruth said — I must learn how to ask for what I want. I am gathering my books and my Sunday homespun dress, and I am going to the cabins to ask Brother Solomon and Violet if I can leave with them. Ma’am will not miss me until the chamber pots are not emptied.
I also want to find Douglass and tell him that my new name is Phillis Frederick.
Epilogue
Phillis Frederick (Patsy) left Davis Hall with Brother Solomon and the other families. Most of the elderly freed men and women remained, saying that it was too late for them to begin a new life. They gave their blessings to those who left. Their hearts were joyful just knowing that the time of slavery had ended, and that their children and grandchildren would live as free people. Nancy, though, remained with the Davis family for the rest of her life, working for Sarah when Ma’am died in 1877.
Some of the families went on to Charleston to find work there. Brother Solomon and his wife, Violet, accepted Phillis into their family.
The Solomon family, Douglass, his mother, sister, and nine other families worked for wages on another farm near Davis Hall. They formed a land association among themselves, each family putting a portion of their earnings into a savings account in a Freedmen’s Bank, so that they could accumulate enough money to purchase land.
