Smiling Proud Wanderer Vol 02, page 38
“Wow!” Linghu Chong exclaimed. “You are absolutely right! That’s amazing! Such excellent skills had to be rare in all ages.”
“Why did Young Master take these tonics?” Ping One-Finger went on. “Most probably a quack was to blame. How detestable and irritating!”
“Zu Qianqiu thought he was doing me a favor when he stole Old Man’s ‘Life-Extending Eight Pills’ to feed me,” Linghu Chong thought to himself. “How could he have known that there are different tonics between male and female? If I spill the beans, for sure Doctor Ping would blame him. It’s probably better if I just keep this to myself.” At that thought, he said, “It’s my own fault. I can’t really blame anybody else.”
“You didn’t lack any energy. Quite on the contrary, you had too much energy in you. Now when you suddenly took so much of these tonics, you’ve worsened the case. Think about it. If the water in the Yangtze River has already risen to a dangerous height, what will happen if the water controller keeps directing even more water into it from the Dongting Lake and the Boyang Lake? A Disaster! These types of tonics would only have benefited congenitally deficient young females. Unfortunately Young Master took them. Alas! How Harmful!”
“I just hope Miss Old Not-Dead, the daughter of Old Man, will eventually recover after drinking my blood,” Linghu Chong thought.
“Change number two: Young Master, you have lost a great amount of blood all of a sudden. How could you have gotten yourself into fights and brawls so recklessly with your already injured body? Scrambling for supremacy with fierce means in no way leads to a prolonged life. Alas, that one thought so highly of you, yet you have no regard for yourself. A true man can wait ten years before seeking his revenge; why couldn’t you have waited a bit longer and had to seek the instant pleasure?” Ping One-Finger shook his head again and again as he spoke, a disapprobatory expression brewing on his face. If his patient weren’t Linghu Chong, he would probably have smacked him hard on the face, or, at least, have poured out endless of invectives.
“You are absolutely right, senior master,” Linghu Chong replied.
“If your losing much blood were the only problem we have to worry about, it would still have been manageable. But why did you mix yourself up with people from the Yunnan Five-Sylph Sect and drank their Five-Sylph Mega-Nourishing Wine?” Ping One-Finger’s voice became more and more irritated.
“Five-Sylph Mega-Nourishing Wine?” Linghu Chong repeated in surprise.
“Yes, the Five-Sylph Mega-Nourishing Wine – brewed using the secret formula of the Five-Sylph Sect passed down generation after generation,” Ping One-Finger murmured. The five venomous pests in the wine were extremely precious. It was said that each one takes decades to cultivate. There are also dozens kinds of rare plants in the wine, together with the five venomous pests, they produce a strange yet powerful balance. The drinker of this wine will be void of harm from all diseases and poisons, and also gain inner energy worth ten years of training. It is the most miraculous tonic existing in the world. I’ve yearned for a chance to see it for many years. I heard that Blue Phoenix the girl always maintains a good moral integrity and never even looks encouragingly to any man. Who would have expected that she would give you the most precious medicated wine of her sect? Alas, the loose youth, stealing young girls’ hearts wherever he goes, ignorant of the harm this has brought upon himself!”
Linghu Chong couldn’t help but let out an embarrassed smile. “Chief Blue and I have only met once before. It was on our boat when we sailed east along the Yellow River. I am indebted to her for presenting me the Five-Sylph Wine. But other than that, we had no association whatsoever,” he explained.
After gazing at him for a good while, Ping One-Finger nodded.
“In that case, I suppose it was only for the sake of that one, did Blue Phoenix give you the Five-Sylph Mega-Nourishing Wine. But the extra nourishment only resulted in more energy inside you, which, in turn, caused more damage. Besides, even though the wine is mega-nourishing, it is mega-poisonous, also. Damn! What a big mess this is! All they have at the Five-Sylph Sect are a few odd prescriptions passed down from past generations. What stinking nonsense medical principles did Blue Phoenix the little chick understand? What a god damned big mess this is in!” Ping One-Finger went frantic.
Linghu Chong listened on as Ping One-Finger poured out streams of profanities. “He’s certainly gotten an unusually hot temper,” he couldn’t help thinking. But then as soon as he noticed Ping One-Finger’s gloomy face and the fluctuating chest below, obviously from the sincere caring for his well being, he regretted it.
“Senior master Ping, Chief Blue only had good intentions….” he said.
“Good intentions! Good intentions! Humph! When the many quacks misdiagnosed their patients and got them killed, which one of them didn’t have good intentions? You tell me! Did you know that people die everyday because of misdiagnoses from quacks are far more than people who die from a blade in the Martial World?” Ping One-Finger snarled.
“There’s a good possibility that might happen,” Linghu Chong replied.
“What possibility? That’s the fact,” Ping One-Finger bellowed. “What makes Blue Phoenix think that she can just stick her nose in this? Who the hell does she think she is, messing with my patient? At the moment, your blood contains severe poisons. If I attempt to neutralize them one by one, they would clash violently with the seven types of energy streams inside you, and you wouldn’t even last three hours.”
“Those severe poisons in my blood probably have nothing to do with the Five-Sylph Wine I drank,” Linghu Chong couldn’t help but think. “Chief Blue and those four Miao girls used their own blood when they gave blood to me. They live and deal with poisonous pests day and night, even their food has poisonous element, then naturally their blood must have contained various poisons. Only that they’ve grown accustomed to that, and the various poisons could no longer affect their bodies. I’d better not mention a word about this, or else, he might lose his temper completely.” At that thought, he said, “Medical principles and pharmacology are subtle and abstruse subjects. It’s only naturally that a common person won’t be able to understand them thoroughly.’
Ping One-Finger heaved a sigh and then went on. “If taking the tonics by mistake, losing a great deal of blood, and drinking the medicinal wine were all the problems there are, I can still manage to overcome. But the fourth dramatic change has really left me at a loss as to what to do. Alas, you’ve only have yourself to blame for that!”
“Yes, I have only myself to blame,” Linghu Chong echoed.
“In the last several days, why have you suddenly become so downhearted and completely lost the will to live? What happened? What caused the grievance? Last time when I checked your pulse at the town of Zhuxian, even though you were severely injured, I could still feel the vigorous flow in your heart arteries with thriving vitality. That was when I decided to extend your life for another one hundred days, so I could try my best to find a way to cure your bizarre injury within the one hundred days. At that time, I was not one hundred percent certain about the solution, and didn’t have the need to explain everything to you. But why have you completely lost the thriving vitality?”
At that question, a strong feeling of sorrow instantly swelled up in Linghu Chong’s heart as he thought to himself, “Before, when Master had suspected me of embezzling Little Lin’s Evil-Resisting Sword Manuscript, it was still alright. With a clear conscience, I felt no qualms. Eventually doubts will clear up when facts are known. But…but even little apprentice sister began suspecting me, and thought of me as a worthless thief deep in her heart for the sake of Little Lin. That snuffed the last bit of life out of me. There would be no joy for me to continue living in this world.”
But Ping One-Finger did not wait for him to answer and spoke again. “Your pulse is telling me that this, again, has something to do with the remorse of love. Can’t you see that all women in the world have a detestable face and a dull tongue? It would be best if you can keep your distance from them. Only when you fail at avoiding them should you tolerate with utmost effort and deal with them courteously but without sincerity. Why are you so muddleheaded and longing for them day and night, instead? That’s so very much wrong! Although, although that one…alas, I don’t know what I should say about that!” At that word, he shook his head wearily.
“Your wife certainly has a detestable face and a dull tongue,” Linghu Chong thought, “but it’s not necessary that women in the world are all like that. It’s so funny that you are using your own wife to generalize all women in the world. If little apprentice sister were to have a detestable face and a dull tongue…”
His thoughts were interrupted when Flower Fairy suddenly showed up at the entrance of the shack, each hand holding a large bowl filled with wine.
“Hey, Doctor Ping! Have you cured him yet?” Flower Fairy asked.
“He is incurable!” Ping One-Finger grunted, pulling a long face.
“Incurable?” Flower Fairy was taken by surprise. “Whacha gonna do then?” Turning toward Linghu Chong, he said, “Why don’t you come out and drink with us then.”
“Sure!” Linghu Chong replied.
“No, you won’t! You stay here!” Ping One-Finger bellowed in a croaked voice.
That gave Flower Fairy a good fright. Turning on his wheels, he left in a hurry, splashing the bowls of wine all over himself.
“Young Master Linghu,” Ping One-Finger spoke again, this time in a much calmer voice. “Even God himself would probably have a real hard time healing you completely. It is still possible to extend your life for several more months or even several more years, though. But you must listen to my advice. Firstly, you must abstain from wine. Secondly, you must stop being fanciful and fickle. Stay away from all women. You can’t even fancy any woman, period. Thirdly, you must not get into fights with others. If you successfully abstain yourself from wine, women, and fights, then you can probably live a few years longer.”
Linghu Chong suddenly broke into a loud laugher.
“What’s so funny,” Ping One-Finger snarled.
“When a man lives his life, he has got to enjoy himself carefree. If he couldn’t even drink wine, fancy women, or defend himself when bullied, what good is he? He’d rather die before it’s too late, to end it quickly.”
“I demand you to abstain yourself. If I can’t cure you, my reputation will be completely ruined,” Ping One-Finger snapped.
Reaching out with his left hand, Linghu Chong held onto the back of Ping One-Finger’s right hand. “Senior master Ping, I am utterly grateful for your great kindness. But life and death lie in the lap of fate. Even with your most excellent skills, it is still no use to try to cure someone destined to die. Not being able to cure my injury will not affect senior master’s reputation in the least.”
Crack! Another man stuck his head inside the shack, and it was Root Fairy this time. “Linghu Chong, are you all cured?” he shouted.
“Doctor Ping’s skills are miraculous! He has already cured me,” Linghu Chong answered.
“Wonderful! Wonderful!” Root Fairy cried. Rushing into the shack and grabbing Linghu Chong by his sleeves, he pulled. “Let’s go drink! Let’s go drink!”
“Senior master, many thanks!” Linghu Chong bowed deeply toward Ping One-Finger, who totally ignored Linghu Chong and only murmured indistinguishable to himself.
“I knew he’d be able to cure you. He is the ‘Killer Doctor’, isn’t he? Every time when he cures one, he has to kill on. If he can’t cure one, what is he gonna do, then? Wouldn’t that be troublesome?” Root Fairy grinned.
“Nonsense!” Linghu Chong also grinned, and hand in hand, the two of them walked out of the shack.
People in the clearing had all been drinking merrily in clusters for a good while by now. When Linghu Chong walked among them, they kept presenting more and more wine to him, and to everybody’s greatest satisfaction, Linghu Chong would pour it straight down his throat every time. Seeing how Linghu Chong laughed and joked together with them at ease and kept drinking to the limit of his capacity, everybody was overjoyed. “Young Master Linghu’s heroic spirit shines above the ninth heaven! We are filled with heartfelt admiration,” they all said.
After drinking over a dozen bowls of wine in succession, Linghu Chong remembered Ping One-Finger. Filling a bowl with wine and singing “Enjoy the wine today while you still can” loudly, he walked back into the shack.
“Senior master Ping, I propose a toast for you!” he said, but what he saw startled him, and the shock instantly sobered him up.
Under the fluttering candlelight, Ping One-Finger’s face appeared to have gone through dramatic changes. A more careful glance soon revealed the differences. The entirely dark hair on his head just moments ago had turned completely gray, and his once smooth and silky face now had deep wrinkles all over it. Within the mere half-an-hour, Ping One-Finger seemed to have aged twenty years. Huddled up by the corner of the table, he was still murmuring to himself.
“When I cure one, I have to kill one. When I can’t cure one, what do I do, then?”
“Linghu Chong’s life does not really worth much. Senior master, why can’t you just let it go?” Burning with the utmost gratitude, Linghu Chong exclaimed loudly.
“If I can’t cure one, I’ll just have to kill myself, to suit the name ‘Killer Doctor’,” Ping One-Finger murmured. He stood up all of a sudden, and after swaying slightly a few times, he spat out a mouthful of blood and then collapsed to the ground.
Astounded, Linghu Chong ran forward and propped Doctor Ping’s head in his arms, only to find that Ping One-Finger had stopped breathing. Carrying the body in his arms, Linghu Chong stood up slowly, sorrow welling up in his chest. Gradually, the noises of drinking and partying outside died away as silence slowly swept across, and the feeling of loneliness and desolation soon filled his heart. He just stood there quietly as drops of tears rolled down his cheeks and fell to his feet. Ping One-Finger’s body seemed to have become heavier and heavier; feeling completely exhausted, he no longer had enough strength to carry it, and had to put it back down to the ground gently.
“Young Master Linghu!” a man walked into the shack quietly and called out in a whisper.
With a quick glance, Linghu Chong recognized him immediately. It was Zu Qianqiu.
“Senior master Zu! Doctor Ping has just passed away,” he murmured in a mournful voice. But Zu Qianqiu didn’t seem to care much about it, and only whispered to him again.
“Young Master Linghu, I’ve come to ask you for a favor. If anyone asks you about me, would you mind saying that you’ve never met Zu Qianqiu before?”
“Why’s that?” Quite taken aback, Linghu Chong asked.
“It’s really nothing. Only that…only that…er…I’ll see you,” Zu Qianqiu replied.
As soon as Zu Qianqiu walked out of the shack, another man entered. It was Sima Big this time.
“Young Master Linghu, I have this really embarrassing…er…embarrassing favor…well…if anyone asks you who have gathered on top of the Five-Tyrant Ridge, would you please don’t mention my name? I’d really, really appreciate that.”
“Sure, but what for?” Linghu Chong replied.
Sima Big’s face suddenly turned bashful, as if he were a kid who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “That…er…that…,” he murmured haltingly.
“If Linghu Chong is not worthy to be your friend, I certainly dare not to claim kinship,” Linghu Chong said coldly.
At those words, Sima Big’s face turned scarlet, and in the next minute, he was already on his knees, bowing down deeply.
“Young Master Linghu, that’s not how I feel at all. I was only asking you to not mention about my coming to the Five-Tyrant Ridge so I don’t make someone angry. If Young Master is still doubtful, then just forget about what I said. I was just breaking wind.”
“You are been too courteous,” Linghu Chong prodded Sima Big up and said hurriedly. “May I ask you a question, Chieftain? Why is it that your coming to the Five-Tyrant Ridge to see me would make someone angry? If this someone detests Linghu Chong so utterly, he can feel free to come after me, and me only….”
Sima Big shoot his hands disapprovingly at once. “What are you talking about, Young Master?” He grinned. “This someone couldn’t have been more fond of you. Why would there be any ill feelings? Alas, I am so crude, putting my foot in my mouth again. Goodbye, Young Master. Well, in a word, Sima Big likes you very much! If there’s anything you ever need me for, anything at all, just give me a howl, and even if I have to step through water or fire to get there, I’ll be there. If I even show a slight frown, I am a stinking, rotten tortoise egg!” He gave a hard smack to his own chest and then strode out of the shack, leaving a very confused Linghu Chong inside, alone.
“It’s unquestionable that he was all sincere about what he said to me,” Linghu Chong thought to himself, “but why is it that his coming to the Five-Tyrant Ridge would make someone angry? Yet, the one who is angry about it not only has no ill feelings about me, but also cared for me very much. This is really weird! If that someone is truly fond of me, he should have been very pleased that I’ve made so many friends.” Suddenly an idea came upon him. “Oh, I got it. This someone must have been a senior master from an orthodox school, that’s why he was very fond of me, yet did not want me to befriend people from the unorthodox sects. Could he be Grand Uncle-Master Feng? But people like that Chieftain Sima are simple and frank. What’s wrong about making friends with them?”
“Young Master Linghu?” Someone cleared his throat and called out in a low voice.
“Chief Huang, come in please,” Linghu Chong replied, recognizing Huang Boliu’s voice.
“Young Master Linghu, several friends wanted me to take a message to you. They had to run in light of some urgent matters that just suddenly arose and didn’t have any time to spare for a proper farewell. They ask for your pardon,” Huang Boliu said after entering the shack.
