The Secret to Happiness, page 7
‘Why did you go early?’ he asked.
‘I got my times mixed up.’
‘You’re usually good with stuff like that.’
‘Yeah, well, I can’t be perfect all the time.’
Silence.
‘Why did you really go?’ Dave asked, his tone gentle. ‘Was it because of what I said?’
Alison lay in the darkness, pulling the duvet up to her chin.
‘It was, wasn’t it?’
Silence.
‘Ali?’
She turned over to face him, her eyes adjusting to the gloom. ‘If you must know, yes. I know I’m fat and I hate myself enough for that without you calling me names.’ She went to turn over again but he placed his arm on hers, stopping her.
‘I had a shite day,’ he said. ‘You got the brunt of it.’
She sighed. ‘I always do, Dave.’
‘I know. I shouldn’t have said those things about your weight.’
Her eyes clouded with tears. ‘No, you shouldn’t. You were nasty to me. Really nasty.’
‘I’m sorry.’ He reached out and gently stroked her cheek. ‘I don’t know why I said it. I didn’t mean it. You’re still my favourite girl.’
Butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Still his favourite girl? Raised in a dysfunctional family full of animosity, Dave had always struggled to voice his emotions. Calling her his ‘favourite girl’ was his way of saying ‘I love you’. Yet he hadn’t said it for months. Possibly years.
‘Even though I’m a chubba?’ she whispered.
‘You’re beautiful.’
He drew her face closer to his and gently kissed her. Alison’s heart started to race and she felt her whole body react to his tender touch.
‘Dave, I…’
‘Shh,’ he whispered, moving in for another kiss. He stroked his hand down her arm, his palm grazing her breast.
A soft moan escaped from Alison’s lips. This was the Dave she remembered; the tender, loving Dave from the early days and that holiday. Every time he lashed out at her after a bad day at work, or simply because he was in a bad mood – which was nearly all the time – she thought about that man who she’d fallen in love with when she was only seventeen, the man who’d been there for her at a time when she’d so desperately needed someone. Occasionally she got glimpses of him and those rare moments were what kept her going.
As he pushed her nightshirt up over her breasts so that he could gently kiss and caress her, she pushed aside his cruel words. As his kisses trailed down to her stomach, she pushed aside his laughter. And as his tongue slipped between her legs, sending jolts of electricity through her, she focused only on the good times. Long ago. This rare glimpse of the man she adored wouldn’t last long so she needed to make the most of it and completely surrender to him.
But as Alison lay awake in the early hours, listening to Dave’s gentle breathing, a thought popped into her head that simply wouldn’t go away: what did he want from her? He’d gone from cruel to attentive in the space of a few hours; something didn’t add up.
Even more disturbing, why was she thinking that way?
11
Karen
Karen was dozing on the sofa when she heard Ryan’s key turn in the lock. Her head felt fuzzy from the bottle of wine she’d downed. So much for one glass. What time was it? It had to be really late because she remembered still drinking after midnight. Squinting towards the clock, she tried to focus her tired eyes. 2.37 a.m. What the hell had Ryan and Steff been doing for that long?
She ran her hands through her hair and looked down at the rumpled midnight-blue satin and Chantilly lace slip that she’d bought for their anniversary.
Curled into a ball on the sofa, she listened to him trying to walk up the stairs, tripping up and clattering against the wall. So that was what they’d been doing: drinking. She looked down at the empty bottle and glass on the floor and sighed. Why couldn’t he have come home to a few drinks with her instead?
Shivering in the coolness of the early hours, she pulled a throw off the back of the sofa and snuggled under it. When Ryan discovered she wasn’t in bed and came looking for her, at least he wouldn’t be able to see the stupid satin slip. The humiliation of lying seductively on the sofa, bathed in candlelight, waiting for him to come home and participate in some steamy make-up sex, could remain hidden under a couple of square metres of chenille. Actually, best blow out the candles too, removing all evidence of her failed seduction attempt.
Back on the sofa, the throw pulled up to her chin, she listened to Ryan’s footsteps on the second flight of stairs and waited for him to come downstairs to find her. Her eyes were heavy and she fought to keep them open. Perhaps if she closed them and concentrated on listening out for the door opening…
‘Karen,’ said a voice. ‘Karen!’
She rolled over and squinted at the figure towering over her. ‘Ryan?’ She opened her eyes a bit further then blinked as he moved aside and she was blinded by the sunlight streaming through the lounge window. ‘It’s morning?’
‘It’s nearly ten.’
‘Ten?’ She rubbed her eyes and stretched her back out. A night on the sofa certainly wasn’t what she’d planned.
‘Why are you sleeping down here?’ Ryan asked, crouching on the floor beside her.
‘I was waiting for you. I wanted to say sorry for being funny about the amount of time you’ve spent with Steff.’
Ryan shook his head. ‘It’s my fault. I have spent too much time with her. We had a lot to do and it was important stuff, but you’re more important.’ He gently stroked her cheek and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘I’m sorry.’
Karen smiled weakly. ‘I should have been more supportive about Bay Runners. If it’s going to make Bay Fitness even more successful, I should be encouraging it instead of fighting it.’
‘Right back at you about the mid-morning bootcamp. It’s good that you’re trying to attract a new audience.’
Karen smiled properly. ‘What a pair we are, eh?’
As she sat up, the throw slid down to her waist, revealing the slip.
Ryan’s eyes widened. ‘What’s that you’re wearing?’
She looked down, her cheeks burning. ‘Pathetic and wasted attempt at an apology through seduction.’
He stood up. ‘It’s a nice colour.’
A nice colour? Nice? Was that all he had to say?
‘Cup of tea?’ he asked, heading for the door.
‘Er, yes please.’
Karen slumped back against the sofa. What just happened? If there was anything guaranteed to send Ryan wild with desire, it was satin and lace. Had he really walked away from her when she was wearing it?
12
Alison
✉︎ From Karen
* * *
Really excited to see you for your first bootcamp this morning. This is the first ever session in the mid-morning slot so we’re all newbies together. I’ve been running bootcamps for over 4 years now. My philosophy is fitness through fun and friendship. Don’t worry about what size you are or what your fitness level might or might not be. You’ve taken the first step by signing up and I’ll help you with the other steps – fast, slow and sometimes backwards. I’m sorry I couldn’t convince the sun to play today but don’t let the drizzle put you off
* * *
Looking in the full-length mirror, Alison felt sick. She pulled the navy T-shirt away from where it clung to her lumps and bumps and tried to suck her stomach in but it had little impact.
‘Bootcamp? What the hell was I thinking?’ She shook her head at her reflection then slammed the wardrobe door closed. Enough.
Perching on the end of her bed, she pulled on her new sports socks and trainers. When she’d finished fastening the laces, she took a moment to get her breath back.
‘I used to be fit,’ she muttered. ‘Now I can’t even bend over to fasten my bloody laces without getting breathless so there’s no way I’m going to be able to run unless they want to cart me off in an ambulance.’ She stamped her feet. ‘Oh my God! I can’t do this.’
* * *
✉︎ From Danniella
Are you as nervous as me? So glad you’re coming or I might have bottled it!
* * *
✉︎ To Danniella
That makes two of us. About both points. I feel sick! I’m definitely coming but I’m not sure I can do it
* * *
✉︎ From Danniella
You can and you will. I’ll be right next to you cheering you on xx
* * *
Alison nodded then stood up tall. Danniella was right. Karen, Sarah and Eden were right. It was going to hurt but she could do this.
On the first stair, she muttered, ‘I can.’ On the second, she said, ‘I will.’ With each step down, her voice grew louder until she stood in the hall and shouted, ‘I can and I will!’
13
Karen
Karen switched off the car wipers with a tut. Grey skies, drizzle, and the threat of heavier rain was not the ideal start but hopefully nobody would be put off at the first hurdle.
She grabbed the kit she needed out of her boot, zipped her neon pink Bay Fitness branded waterproof up to her chin, and jogged down to North Bay beach. There were a few dog walkers, runners and cyclists on the promenade but the beach was pretty much deserted.
She planted a neon orange flag in the sand then distributed some plastic marker discs across the beach to create workout stations. Ready. All she needed now was bootcampers. She took a few deep breaths to calm the butterflies that always paid a brief visit when she was meeting new clients.
By 9.50 a.m., nerves settled, she had a full complement of six and she could almost smell the fear.
‘Good morning, bootcampers,’ she said, stepping back so that she could see everyone. ‘A massive welcome to Bay Bootcamps. It’s great to meet you in person and I’m glad the weather hasn’t put you off. I’m Karen Greene, one of three owners of Bay Fitness, which encompasses Bay Bootcamps, Bay Runners, and personal training or PT. I see a few nervous faces. Hands up if you’re nervous.’ Karen raised her hand and smiled as everyone followed suit. ‘It’s completely understandable when you haven’t done anything like this before. Despite the nerves, who’s a little bit excited, even if only a tiny, weeny bit?’
Karen thrust her hand in the air again and laughed as one of the bootcampers copied but most of the others did a tentative half-raise accompanied by a grimace. ‘My aim for today is to take away the nerves and start building excitement. Before I explain what we’ll be doing, I want to emphasise something. You’re all starting from very different places and I want you to remember that you and your goals are unique. This means you’ll all go on very different journeys. Please don’t compare your progress, or what you may feel is a lack of it, to that of anyone else in the group. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were before you signed up. Simply by being here, you’re already a winner.’
Karen smiled at the group again. ‘Let’s have some introductions. If you can give your name and tell me if you know anyone here, that would be great.’
She moved around the group: a PT client of hers called Bryan, a mother-and-daughter team called Dawn and Hailey, and a woman in her late-twenties called Melanie who jokingly said that anyone who shortened her name to Mel would have to eat sand.
‘Melanie it is, then,’ Karen said, smiling. ‘I get it. The only person allowed to call me Kaz is my fiancé. Anyone else has to drop and give me twenty so be warned, you lot. Moving on…’
‘Hi. I’m Danniella and I’m going to continue with the name preferences thing. I know that Danniella is a mouthful but I’d rather nobody calls me Danni or Dan. Sorry.’
Karen smiled at Danniella who looked like she wished the beach would turn to quicksand and swallow her up. ‘Thank you, Danniella. And do you know anyone?’
‘Alison, but we only met on Saturday. I fell over on the seafront and she patched me up.’ She looked at the woman next to her and smiled warmly.
‘Hi, I’m Alison. I’ll answer to that or Ali, although I’ve been known to respond to Fatty, Jabba, Porky, Chubba…’ She said it with laugher but Karen had seen the same self-deprecating approach in so many of her previous clients and wasn’t fooled by the bravado.
‘I think we’ll stick to Alison or Ali, eh? Welcome. Let’s get started, then.’
Karen ran through the structure, demonstrated each exercise, then asked the group to copy. After a warm-up, the session started. She walked amongst the group, giving tips on technique, ways of making the exercises slightly easier for anyone who was struggling or harder for those who could push further, and encouragement to everyone.
She loved teamwork and it was a joy to see it in action through the support that Danniella gave Alison. Working out next to each other, Danniella regularly encouraged Alison to keep going, even trying to pace the exercises she was doing to keep time with her. With Danniella’s encouragement, Alison really pushed herself. She’d told Karen that she’d been a keen hockey player in school and college but hadn’t done anything for the nine years since leaving education. She was Karen’s favourite type of client; those who came from zero fitness often achieved amazing things.
‘I hope you enjoyed your first bootcamp,’ Karen said to the group after they’d cooled down, feeling a stab of pride that it had gone smoothly and that they’d all worked hard. ‘Before you go, I’d like to get a photo of you all with the flag.’ She unfurled a bright yellow branded flag and assembled them into a group, those in the middle holding the flag. She’d previously checked they were happy to have photos posted on social media. Danniella said she’d prefer not to, so she stepped discreetly to one side. Alison had said it was only okay if she could always hide behind the flag. Sure enough, she positioned herself so her whole body was covered by the material. Karen couldn’t wait for the day when Alison felt proud of her body and didn’t feel the need to hide like that. Hopefully it would be soon. Alison had joked on the phone that she wanted to lose half her body weight but Karen planned to keep a close eye on that. Success didn’t need to mean a particular weight or dress size; it simply meant that Alison was happy with herself and felt fitter.
Photos taken, Karen draped the flag over her arm, and smiled at the group. ‘If you have any questions or concerns before the next session, please get in touch. If you haven’t exercised for a while, you will probably hurt so I’m going to put some information on the Facebook page about how to ease that. Take on plenty of fluids, eat well, and I’ll see you on Thursday.’
‘I loved that,’ Danniella said, hanging back with Alison. ‘So much fun.’
‘Thank you,’ Karen said. ‘What about you, Alison?’
‘I wouldn’t say that love has sprouted but there’s a seedling there that may grow into something.’
Karen smiled. ‘You did really well today, Alison. I was impressed with your determination.’
‘Really?’ Alison raised an eyebrow.
‘Really. And you were a great support for her, Danniella, so thank you for that.’
‘Pleasure,’ Danniella said. ‘Do you want a hand with anything?’
‘If you’ve got time, I’d love it if you could collect the markers.’
Karen folded the photo flag and packed it away, then pulled the flagpole out of the sand, watching Alison and Danniella giggling as they raced to pick up the marker discs. Considering they’d only just met, they looked like a strong friendship in the making. How lovely that her bootcamp had the power to bring strangers together and create bonds. There probably weren’t many people who could say that about their jobs.
As she walked up the beach with the two women, chatting about the exercises they’d liked the most, and joking about sand in every crack and crevice, Karen sighed contentedly. It had definitely been the right decision to set up the mid-morning bootcamp and this small cosy atmosphere was exactly what she’d had in mind. Bollocks to Ryan.
Back in the car park, Karen placed her kit in the boot and was preparing to drive off for a PT session when her phone beeped with a text. It was from a private number but that wasn’t unusual because her mobile number was displayed on the Bay Fitness website and on social media.
* * *
✉︎ From Unknown
I’m impressed. You’re certainly very open-minded
* * *
She laughed. Okay. Strange. Obviously a wrong number, though.
* * *
✉︎ To Unknown
Sorry but I think you’ve got the wrong number
* * *
✉︎ From Unknown
No. It’s meant for you, Karen
* * *
Karen’s heart raced. What?
* * *
✉︎ To Unknown
Who is this?
* * *
✉︎ From Unknown
Wouldn’t you like to know?
* * *
✉︎ To Unknown
Yes. That’s why I asked! I’ve no idea what your message means
* * *
✉︎ From Unknown
Didn’t think you would. But you will. Soon
* * *
Karen shuddered, her heart thumping rapidly. What the hell was that all about? Who was it? They obviously knew her, but the message made no sense. Open-minded? About what? She shook her head. She should just ignore it. It was somebody playing silly games. She didn’t know who, she didn’t know why, but she did know they weren’t worth it. Switching the phone to silent, she zipped it into her pocket and drove across town for her 11.30 a.m. PT client.
