The Secret to Happiness, page 30
‘We’re here. Are you excited?’ Jay asked, pushing his door open.
‘Erm. Yeah? No idea where we are, though.’
‘Jay!’ A man in his late-thirties wearing a navy boiler suit and hiking boots strode towards the car and they shook hands. ‘Thank you for being my guinea pigs.’
‘Pleasure,’ Jay said. ‘This is Karen. Karen, this is Darius, a former colleague of mine.’
‘Nice to meet you, Karen.’ Darius shook her hand and smiled. ‘You have no idea what you’re about to do, have you?’
‘None whatsoever. Should I be worried?’
‘Nah. You’ll love it. And, if you don’t, it’s Jay’s fault, not mine.’ He turned and headed towards one of the barns. ‘Come on, let’s get you kitted up.’
‘Looking gorgeous,’ Jay laughed as Karen gave him a twirl in her red boiler suit.
‘Looking pretty sexy yourself,’ she said and her heart leapt. He did. Who knew that a khaki boiler suit could look so alluring? She imagined herself pushing him against the wall, ripping open the poppers and…
‘Are you both ready?’ Darius asked. He handed them a crash helmet each, checking for fit. ‘Perfect. Let’s crack on with the first activity, then. Quad bikes.’
Karen squealed. ‘Are you serious?’
Darius smiled. ‘Ever been on one?’
‘No, but I’ve always wanted to.’
‘We’ll be doing two quad bike activities today,’ Darius said. ‘We’ll start you on races round a circuit then go off-roading later. You’ll be doing paintballing, an assault course, and a whole lot more. I promise you mud, aching muscles, and lots of laughter.’
‘Bring it on!’ Karen cried.
‘That was the best day ever,’ Karen said, as they made their way back to the changing barn.
‘You really liked it?’ Darius asked. ‘It’s not finished yet, but we were keen to test it out and make sure we were on the right lines.’
‘I loved it. You’re onto a winner here. And it’s not just the activities. It’s you. You’re hilarious.’
‘I agree,’ Jay said. ‘It’s brilliant, but you’re what makes it. You’re what will bring people back for more.’
‘I haven’t laughed so much in ages,’ Karen said. ‘As soon as you’re up and running, send me some fliers and I’ll give them to all my clients.’
‘I like you,’ Darius said, shaking her hand. ‘Your girlfriend’s a keeper, Jay. Hang onto her.’
Jay caught her eye and she felt her already flushed cheeks colour even deeper. Did he have any idea how she felt about him?
‘I’ll leave you to get changed,’ Darius said. ‘There are crates on the far wall for your kit so shove everything in those and I’ll clean it later.’
Still laughing, Karen and Jay headed into the changing barn and deposited their helmets and goggles into the crates.
‘Today was fantastic,’ Karen gushed. ‘Thank you so much, Jay.’
‘My pleasure. Although I could have done without the climbing wall. My legs were already on fire from the assault course.’
‘Same here, but I was determined to get to the top.’
‘You were amazing,’ Jay said, then his expression softened. ‘You are amazing.’
Karen’s heart thumped as he took a step closer to her and gently touched her cheek, sending ripples of desire through her. ‘You’ve got a bit of mud on your face.’
She gulped as his fingers gently grazed her lips.
‘I’m not sure you’ve quite got it,’ she whispered, closing her eyes as he touched her lips again.
‘You’re trembling,’ he whispered.
‘I’m scared.’
‘Of what?’
Karen hesitated. Could she do it? Could she tell him? After tough times, her friends had taken control. Danniella had travelled to London and was going to rebuild her life with Ethan. Alison was going travelling with Aidan who she’d been secretly in love with for a decade. It was Karen’s turn to bite the bullet. ‘I need to tell you something. You know that day in the car park when we hugged?’
Jay nodded.
‘I… erm… Something happened. I wanted to…’ Sod it! Actions speak louder than words! She leaned forward and gently kissed Jay’s lips. ‘I wanted to do that,’ she said, her heart thumping as she waited for his reaction.
For a moment, he looked surprised, then he smiled, flashing his gorgeous dimples. ‘And I wanted to do this.’ He put his arms around her waist and pulled her close as he returned her kiss with such passion and intensity that she felt quite light-headed when they broke apart, trying to catch their breath.
‘And here was me being worried you might not feel the same,’ Karen said, running her fingers through his hair. ‘I’m not so worried now.’
Jay smiled. ‘I already really liked you, but something shifted between us that day in the car park. Things were complicated back then with Ryan and Sophie still in the mix but I figured that, if it was meant to be, it would happen eventually.’ He kissed her again, slowly and tenderly this time. ‘I didn’t think anything could top the quad bikes, but this moment right now has eclipsed everything about today.’
‘This moment right now has eclipsed everything,’ Karen whispered. And it had. She’d loved Ryan but her feelings for Jay ran so much stronger and deeper. ‘I think it’s time we said goodbye to Darius and continued this moment somewhere a bit more comfortable. What do you think?’
Jay pulled the poppers apart on his boiler suit and stepped out of it deftly. ‘That’s me ready. What are you waiting for?’
Karen giggled as she removed her suit. ‘Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I think I might just have everything I ever wanted.’
‘Me too. I love you, Karen.’
‘I love you, too.’
He kissed her again before picking up their boiler suits and throwing them into the crates. ‘Ready?’
‘Ready.’
‘Last one to the car has to wash it.’
‘Oi!’ She sprinted after him, laughing.
After the toughest few months of her life, she had so much to look forward to now. Steff was back on top form and they’d had some great discussions about how to take the business forward. Sam had proposed to Jemma and they were planning their wedding for next summer with Karen as chief bridesmaid. Danniella and Alison were both facing positive futures too. Three months ago, they’d been strangers facing the darkest of times. They’d all had someone to say goodbye to and it hadn’t been easy. Without her friends by her side, she knew it would have been so much harder saying goodbye and moving on from Ryan, that Alison might not have been able to let go of Dave, and that Danniella might have still been running from her traumatic past, unable to say goodbye to her guilt. And now look at them all, and it was all thanks to meeting through that mid-morning bootcamp that Ryan had never wanted her to run. Just as well she’d listened to her heart and gone ahead with it anyway.
She’d always said that individuals could achieve great things, but groups could achieve so much more. And they had. With love, support and friendship, they were all in such different places now, starting exciting new chapters of their lives.
60
Alison
Four Weeks Later
* * *
Alison sat on her bed at Danniella’s and flicked through the commemorative album.
‘It’s a big day today,’ she said, lightly stroking her fingers over the final photo of her family by the rock pools. ‘I’m flying out to Reykjavik in three days’ time and I’ll be travelling round Europe for four months with Aidan. How exciting is that? You’d have loved Aidan.’ She paused as she dabbed away her tears. ‘It’s time for me to start living and the only way I can do that is to say goodbye. You’re probably thinking I should have done it years ago, but I wasn’t ready. I am now.’
She closed the album and placed it back in the bottom of the wardrobe then removed the two wooden boxes. She kissed the lid of each before placing them gently in a bag. ‘You’ll be pleased with your final resting place.’
‘Are you ready?’ Danniella asked, poking her head around the door a few minutes later.
Alison nodded. ‘It’s time.’
‘You’re doing the right thing.’
‘I know.’ She stood up. ‘Come on, then. Let’s do it. Let’s say our goodbyes.’
‘We’ve got something for you,’ Karen said, joining them and handing Alison a gift bag.
‘What’s this?
‘It’s for Europe,’ Danniella said, ‘but we thought you might want to wear it now. Fresh start and all that.’
Alison gasped as she lifted out a deep-burgundy winter coat with a faux-fur collar and a belt around the waist. ‘It’s gorgeous.’
‘A bright colour for your bright new future,’ Karen said.
‘I love it. Thank you. Oh…’ Her smile fell as she clocked the size eighteen label. ‘I’m not sure it’s going to fit.’
‘Try it on,’ Danniella urged. ‘I think you’ll be surprised.’
Alison pulled the coat on, expecting to feel tightness in the sleeves, but it slipped on easily and the zip pulled up without the need to breathe in.
‘Perfect fit,’ Karen said. ‘You look amazing.’
Alison stepped towards the mirror and ran her hands down the coat, turning from side to side. ‘Size eighteen? Oh my God! I can’t believe it.’ She grinned at Karen. ‘Bootcamp did that.’
Karen shook her head. ‘No, Ali. You did that and I’m so proud of you.’
‘Me too,’ Danniella said, as they gathered in a hug.
It was a week into October and the temperature had dropped, signalling the arrival of autumn. Strong winds over the past few days had caused high tides and over-topping, hurling seaweed, sand, and debris onto the promenade. Alison had been worried they’d have to cancel their plans, but the storm had thankfully subsided overnight. The air was now still and the sky cloudless, painted with a palette of pale greys and blues.
Alison, Danniella, and Karen walked down the cliff path together, took the steps down to the beach, and made their way over to the rock pools below the statue of Stanley Moffatt.
Alison knew she needed to say goodbye to her family before she went travelling, but it struck her that it was so much more than that. She was saying goodbye to the past – to Dave, to her job, and to the guilt that had stopped her from living. And she wasn’t the only one who needed to say goodbye to the past. Danniella and Karen had been the ones who’d breathed life back into her and helped her find happiness again so it was only right that the three of them did this together.
There was the gentlest of easterly breezes down on the sand. The three women stood behind the rock pools, facing the sea, Alison in the middle. They didn’t have long as the tide was on its way in and would engulf the pools within the next thirty minutes, but they didn’t need long. They’d all been building up to this moment for a long time.
‘Four months ago, I was lost, lonely, massively overweight, incredibly unfit, and desperately unhappy,’ Alison said. ‘I was clinging onto Dave because he was all I had left to call family and I was too scared to face life without him, even though life with him was a daily battlefield. The only thing keeping me sane was having a job I loved. Then I met you, Danni, and you somehow managed to talk me into joining you at Karen’s bootcamp.’
She smiled at Danniella then Karen who both smiled warmly in return, then she took the two wooden boxes and three cream roses out of a bag. Placing them on the sand in front of her, she reached out either side to take hold of one of Karen’s and Danniella’s hands.
‘Four months on, I’ve quit my job which is something I never, ever expected to do and would never have been able to do if it hadn’t been for the friendship and encouragement you both gave me.’ She took a deep breath as the words caught in her throat. ‘I was determined not to cry.’
‘Me too,’ Karen said, blinking back the tears.
‘Me three,’ Danniella added, wiping her cheek with her spare hand.
‘What are we like?’ Alison said. ‘So, four months on, I can run 10k and I can get into size eighteen clothes for the first time in maybe eight years. I can leave a job I love to go travelling with a man I always loved but was too scared to let in. I’ll never be lost or lonely again because I might have lost my biological family, but I’ve found my new family and they’re right here with me in the place where I’m going to say goodbye.’ She squeezed their hands as the tears fell.
‘Aw, come here,’ Danniella said, enveloping Alison and Karen in a hug. They stood on the beach for a moment, sobbing.
‘We’d better crack on or the tide will beat us,’ Alison said, squeezing them again, then letting go. ‘Where were we? Yes. Thanks to you two, I’ve found myself, my life, and my future. I’ve found the secret to happiness.’
Danniella and Karen linked arms as Alison stepped forward and picked up the smaller box.
‘Goodbye, Grandma,’ she said, sprinkling the ashes over the rock pools and into the breeze. Picking up the larger box, she opened the lid, took a deep breath, then released those ashes into the air too. ‘Goodbye Mum, Dad, Fleur, and Max. I don’t need to keep you in a box anymore because you’ll always be in here.’ She placed her hand over her heart.
Some of the ashes settled onto the surface of the rock pools while others danced in the breeze, drifting upwards and towards the sea. The sun peeped from behind a cloud, lighting up the dust as it floated away on its final journey.
Alison picked up one of the cream roses and dropped it into the pool. ‘A final goodbye to Dave, the past, and my guilt. Life is for living and, from now on, that’s what I intend to do, living each day as though it was my last because we never know when it might be.’
She closed her eyes and breathed deeply for a moment, a feeling of peace flowing through her. Turning to Karen, she smiled.
Karen stepped forward with the next rose and dropped it into the rock pool beside Alison’s. ‘How do I follow that? Mine’s a bit shorter. Four months ago, I thought Ryan and I were happy and together for life. Life had other ideas. We were broken and just hadn’t realised it. Goodbye Ryan and hello to an exciting new future. That’s me. Your turn, Danni.’ Karen took hold of Alison’s hand as she stepped back from the water.
Danniella stepped forward and dropped the final rose into the pool. ‘When Abigail died, a huge part of me died too and the only way I could deal with that was to run and keep on running from the hurt and pain and guilt. At the start of May, I arrived at this beautiful place by the coast and something told me this was the place where I could stop and breathe. I’ve got a long way to go, but I’m working hard at letting go of that guilt, getting control of my food demons, and rebuilding my life with Ethan. That man is a saint. I must have done something very right in another life to have him. Maybe one day, when we’re both ready, we can consider a brother or sister for Abigail but, for now, it’s one day at a time.’
She stepped back and took Alison’s other hand in hers. ‘I used to be scared of the future until I met you two. You quite literally saved my life and I can never thank you enough.’
They huddled together, arms round each other, weeping silently as the tide crept closer. The clouds fully parted and the sun sent silver sparkles down to kiss the gentle waves.
Back on the promenade, they leaned against the railings in front of Stanley Moffatt, watching the sea creep forward to take the ashes and roses.
‘How do you feel?’ Karen asked as the roses bobbed on the waves, dipping in and out of view.
Alison paused for a moment. ‘I feel liberated.’
Danniella nodded. ‘Definitely feeling liberated.’
Alison took her phone out of her pocket and accosted a woman walking a dog to take a few photos of them. The rock pools below were the place where her last ever family photo was taken before life as she knew it ended, so it seemed appropriate to take photos with Stanley where her life started again with her new family.
‘We’re going to miss you at bootcamp,’ Karen said as they huddled on the bench beside Stanley after the photos were taken.
Alison nodded. ‘I’m going to miss bootcamp but I’m packing my trainers. I need to make sure I keep exercising while I’m away.’
Danniella laughed. ‘You’re going away with Aidan. I think it’s safe to say there’ll be plenty of exercise.’
‘Fair point,’ Alison said, giggling. ‘Make sure you keep a place for me when I return. After all, my life began at bootcamp.’
‘Your life began at bootcamp? Oh, I love that,’ Karen said.
They sat in silence for a moment, lost in their thoughts.
‘I’ve got something for you both,’ Karen said. ‘You know how I give out Awesome Awards at bootcamp and the prize is a photo?’ She reached into her pocket and took out a couple of jewellery pouches, handing one to each of them. ‘You both deserve something you can look at every day to remind you of exactly how awesome you are.’
Alison and Danniella reached into their pouches and both removed a light-grey leather bracelet with a silver star charm attached to it.
‘Karen! It’s gorgeous.’ Alison cried.
‘It’s your very own Awesome Award. You’re both stars.’
‘I love it,’ Danniella said. ‘Thank you. We’ll have to get you one too,’
Karen smiled as she pushed up the sleeve of her coat revealing a matching one.
‘Oh, Karen. That’s the best gift ever,’ Alison said, the tears welling again as Karen fastened the bracelet onto her wrist.
‘I agree,’ Danniella said. ‘It’s really lovely. Now get off the bench so I can thank you properly.’
‘We’d better get to the pub.’ Alison said after they’d hugged again. ‘I think we’ve earned a celebratory drink or two.’
She picked up the wooden boxes and placed them in the bin next to Stanley.
As they set off towards Blue Savannah, Alison turned and looked back towards the rock pools, saying one more silent goodbye to her family. It had been her final step in finding the secret to happiness and now she could embrace life to the full. She looked down at her bracelet and smiled. Her life really had begun at bootcamp four months ago, thanks to Danniella and Karen, and she wasn’t going to waste another day.
