Memories of Santorini, page 2
But at thirty years old, she wouldn’t be bitter anymore. While she’d never felt close to her mother, she didn’t want to shut her down completely. She didn’t want to be angry or mean-spirited. It wasn’t good for her.
So she turned on the charm, just the way her father could. She’d learned that from him, watching his every move, wanting to be just like him so that he’d love her. “This is so sweet of you to take me out to lunch. That’s all I need. It’s really special. Thank you.”
Underneath, though, she wondered if it was Aunt Teresa’s doing. Her aunt had always been her confidant. She knew all about the trials and tribulations of Sienna’s relationship with her mother, and she’d been sworn to secrecy. But then she didn’t put it past Aunt Teresa to be the angel on her mother’s shoulder, telling her how to fix things, which was probably why her mother was offering the Santorini trip now. It was Aunt Teresa’s idea.
She went on brightly, changing the subject. “The party with Nonni and Poppa will be fabulous.”
“I can hardly wait,” her mother said.
“I really should try to get out to see them.” She gave a very Roman shrug, just like Poppa would. “But work is so busy right now. I’m hoping this new job will give me a little free time.” Instead of pushing more and more clients at her to the point where she felt like she couldn’t give any of them her full attention. “But I’m so glad they’ll be coming out.”
She’d wanted to invite all her family to the party last week, but Dad had said that Matthew refused to come if their mother was there. Instead of having to make explanations, she hadn’t invited any of them and planned for a summer party to make up for it.
She honestly didn’t understand Matthew’s antipathy. He wasn’t the one who’d always been told he couldn’t do this or that. Dad let him do whatever he wanted. He was the golden boy, a carbon copy of their father in height and build, short brown hair and hazel eyes like Dad’s. But when Matthew arrived that night, he’d acted like nothing was up. She’d have to get to the bottom of it eventually. During the party, however, wasn’t the right time.
She steered the conversation to her cousins. “Tell me about the girls, Aunt Teresa.”
They’d been much closer, treating her like an older sister, when Sienna had done all their babysitting. They’d talked about makeup and boys and that horrible teacher who was always embarrassing them. She had done her best to soothe their ragged edges.
“Sophia has decided she wants to go in for prelaw. And you know Charlotta, she absolutely loves that dance school. I think she can go all the way. At the end of the term, she’ll be doing tryouts for the New York City Ballet.”
“That’s fabulous,” Sienna’s mother said as if she didn’t know. Surely Aunt Teresa had told her.
“And Bianca landed the most amazing job at a CPA firm once she graduates in June.”
Sienna’s cousins were go-getters. Bianca wanted to be on the partner track for a huge firm. Whether it was accounting or law or consulting, she wanted in on the big action. “They all sound just as busy as me.”
Then Aunt Teresa mentioned the elephant in the room. “And how are the plans for your father’s wedding?” Aunt Teresa always liked everything on the table.
Sienna looked at her mother. Her face was pinched, her coffee-colored eyes suddenly darker. Sienna took after her mother in most ways, the same dark, curly hair, brown eyes, and olive complexion. The most she’d done to step out of her mother’s beautiful shadow was to dye her hair chestnut. And yet still she felt like an imitation of her mother and aunt.
Her parents had been divorced a year now. In Sienna’s opinion, her dad had screwed over her mother. Yes, she got the Los Altos house and a decent alimony settlement, but Dad was worth beaucoup bucks. He could have been more generous, especially since he was the one who’d left Mother.
His fiancée Bron, short for Brianna, had sworn up and down they weren’t having an affair before the divorce. She’d simply noticed how lonely he was, and she’d felt sorry for him. She was a highly paid executive assistant, and she wasn’t stupid enough to ruin everything by having an affair with the boss. Once he’d divorced, however, all bets were off.
Sienna liked Bron. They had a lot in common.
And there was the baby, of course.
Sienna walked the tightrope, not wanting to hurt her mother’s feelings, but not wanting to lie. And Mother knew about the baby. “It’s going well. Bron wants to get everything out of the way now, before she’s too far along.” Bron was eighteen weeks, the baby due at the beginning of August. The wedding would be late September, and she was making all the decisions now before she got what she called foggy baby brain. “She invited me to the food tasting on Friday.” Not wanting to hide anything, which would get way too complicated, she added, “She’s asked me to be a bridesmaid.”
Her mother’s pinched face didn’t change. Except for that blink. As if she was hoping it would conceal all the animosity in her eyes.
Aunt Teresa gasped loudly enough to turn heads. “You’re really on board with this, Sienna? She’s your age, twenty-five years younger than your father.”
Her aunt said everything her mother wasn’t. But Sienna didn’t want to get in a war with her father’s future wife, the mother of her half brother or sister. She wanted to be friends.
“Just think how that makes your mother feel.”
Just as a twinge of guilt unfurled in Sienna’s stomach, her mom jumped in. “I’m fine. I don’t bear your father any ill well. He has the right to marry whomever he wishes and to start a new family.” Uncharacteristically, she put her hand over Sienna’s. “I’m glad you want to be friends with his new wife. Just because we’re divorced doesn’t mean you have to choose sides.”
For some strange reason, her mother’s words made her eyes prickle, and she said softly, “Thank you. I’d like my relationship with her to work. I want to be able to see the baby.”
She’d always had a difficult relationship with her father, striving to earn his love even as nothing she did ever worked. That’s why she hadn’t gone to work for him the way Matthew had. She’d taken a job at some soulless corporation just so she did nothing that would disappoint him. Yet he’d been disappointed anyway.
In the last few months, though, things seemed to change. Maybe it was her friendship with Bron. Not that she’d become friends with Bron to get to her father. But she’d even asked him to put in a good word for her with the senior partner at Smithfield and Vine, the company she’d been interviewing with. The two men were good friends, and maybe it was nepotism, but she wanted this job. She wanted him to be proud of her. With his recommendation, she had an excellent chance.
So no, when Bron asked her to be a bridesmaid, she didn’t turn her down.
Luckily, her mother changed the subject. “I’d love to hear more about this new job. Tell us everything.”
Sienna did. Maybe, if she tried hard enough, she could leave behind all the resentment that had festered for as long as she could remember, making her question not only her mother’s motives but everyone else’s as well. It was even why she’d never let any man get too close.
But at thirty, she wanted to be a new person, one who no longer spent her downtime brooding about the past and possibly missing out on something good in her future.
Having taken only a long lunch, Sienna had rushed back to work once she’d demolished her sorbet.
“Don’t get all mopey,” Teresa told Angela. “She can change her mind.”
“Not if she gets this job. Which I’m sure she will.” Angela tucked her pain down deep. She had to believe that things would get better between her and Sienna. They’d come a long way. Five years ago, Sienna would never have met her for lunch, even if Teresa attended. And she hadn’t been cruel in turning down the trip. She’d actually been polite. Didn’t that mean there was hope?
“You can always go later, maybe in August or September, after she’s acclimated to the new job.”
Teresa always saw the bright side. But then she had three beautiful daughters who adored her and a husband who was as madly in love with her today as he had been when he married her. Angela, on the other hand, had two children who hated her and an ex-husband who couldn’t get rid of her fast enough once he’d met a prettier, younger model. Had they been having an affair before the divorce? That pregnancy had come along fast. Not that she cared. She relished her freedom. The best thing Donald had ever done was divorce her.
Once he was married, and with a new baby, he wouldn’t be so concerned with what Angela did. Maybe he could stop punishing her.
But that didn’t change the trip she wanted with Sienna. “If we wait, there’ll be the baby and the wedding. We really need to go in June.”
Teresa sipped her latte, licking the foam off her lip. “Wouldn’t next year work just as well?”
She needed to go this year, exactly thirty years after she was supposed to return to Santorini. And didn’t.
“It’s not as if he’s actually going to be there.” Compassion softened Teresa’s voice.
Angela knew he wouldn’t be there. She wanted only to retrace her footsteps of that glorious graduation trip. It was a pilgrimage to her past. If by some miracle she saw him, she didn’t have a clue what she’d say anyway. Sorry I didn’t make our date thirty years ago. He would never understand.
She’d done what every young woman did on a fabulous holiday in a foreign country. She met a boy, falling head over heels for him. He’d wanted her to stay. She’d wanted him to follow her home. But they’d had two very different lives.
And she was engaged to Donald.
But they’d made a pact before she left Santorini. She would return home and end her engagement, giving her family time to get over the scandal. And time for them both to make sure their feelings were true. Then, exactly one year later, she would return to their favorite café on the Greek island, meeting him for their usual coffee and bougatsa, the sugary pastry she’d loved. And they would plan their future.
The memory of those long-ago mornings with him at the café made her eyes ache.
But she’d come home to face the wedding, her mother adamant she couldn’t jilt her wealthy fiancé. The shame and scandal it would bring to the family was untenable, especially since her mother had worked so hard to make this relationship work. Donald’s family was San Francisco elite, and Mama wanted into that circle so badly she could taste it. Maybe if Angela had been older, stronger, if she’d started working and had lived on her own a few years, she might have withstood the pressure. But she couldn’t handle it, especially when her mother explained what her life would be like if she didn’t go through with the wedding.
Angela could still hear her mother’s angry voice, see the finger pointing in her face. “I told you to take your sister with you. None of this would have happened if you’d done what I said.” But Teresa had already met William, her future husband, and she’d had no intention of taking off for Santorini.
Mama had berated her endlessly, telling her she was just a passing fancy to a Greek boy who was no better than a beach bum. It was idiotic to think he’d be waiting for her in a year.
There was no social media, and cell phones and email weren’t the norm yet. Besides, the year apart was supposed to solidify their connection. They hadn’t planned to get in touch. But he’d believed she would call off her wedding.
Instead, she’d finally accepted her mother’s absolute certainty that he wouldn’t show up for their reunion. And the only other person she’d ever told about the Greek boy she’d fallen in love with was her older sister Teresa.
“It’s just a trip down memory lane,” she told Teresa. “It was the happiest three weeks of my life. I want to visit all the same places. And if Sienna will come with me, maybe she and I can work things out.”
“You can go anytime if all you want to do is relive memories. It doesn’t have to be the middle of June.”
But Angela needed to go to that café on the anniversary of the day she’d missed. She wanted to gaze at the bougainvillea climbing the white walls, the blue domes of the churches, and the turquoise Aegean.
She wanted to sit in the morning sun and imagine what her life would have been if she’d made a different choice.
But Teresa didn’t believe in fanciful thinking. She was down to earth. With her beautiful, loving family, she could be.
All Angela had were dreams. And the hope that one day she and Sienna would find the closeness that mothers and daughters should share.
3
Sienna stomped through her apartment, tossed her phone on the bed, her whole world shattering as the receptionist’s words repeated in her head.
Mr. Smithfield is canceling your interview today. He’s already decided on another candidate. He sends his apologies and wishes you all the luck in finding the right opportunity.
She couldn’t believe it. Her heart was racing, her hands were clammy, and she couldn’t catch her breath. Was it a panic attack? Or was this how it felt when you saw your future crumbling?
She’d taken the day off for the interview, which was why she hadn’t spent more time with her aunt and mom yesterday. She was dressed in her best blue suit, circumspect yet elegant, with a short jacket and a blouse that showed a hint of skin above the neckline. She hadn’t wanted to be overtly sexy, but not androgynous either.
Tearing off the jacket, she threw it on the floor, ripped open the blouse, a couple of buttons flying, then yanked on the back zipper of her skirt, letting it fall to the floor where she kicked it aside. Her low-heeled pumps flew into the air as she kicked them off, one of them smashing into the vanity and sending her makeup crashing to the floor.
They’d decided on another candidate before she’d even had her third interview? It didn’t make sense. Companies went through all their candidates, called you back for a second round if they liked you, then, if you really had the spark they wanted, they called you in for a third interview. Yet they’d made their choice without even talking to her again. It wasn’t right.
She’d wanted this job with every fiber of her being. She would have shown her dad how good she was. Next to his firm, Smithfield and Vine was the top investment house in San Francisco. All his disappointment would become a thing of the past.
She clomped to the closet, pulled out her robe, sliding her arms into it and belting it tight. Thank God she hadn’t quit her job, despite being sure she’d had this one in the bag. And thank goodness she’d canceled the hair appointment too. Why cut off her long curls for people who didn’t even want her? Maybe the decision had been a premonition.
She probably needed to get out of town, try L.A., maybe Seattle. Or San Jose, the heart of Silicon Valley?
She made herself a cup of tea, then curled up on the sofa in her postage-stamp living room. At least her apartment had a living room with a separate bedroom and an actual tub in the bathroom instead of a shower stall. It wasn’t a palace, but it was cozy.
Setting her teacup on the side table, she dialed her father. “Hi, Dad.” She tried to sound upbeat even though her heart jammed her throat.
“Hello, Sienna.”
He’d never had a pet name for her, not like he had for her brother, things like buddy or scout, terms of endearment. But never for Sienna.
“How did the interview go?” was his first question.
She shouldn’t have asked him to put in a good word with the senior partner. Then she wouldn’t have needed to tell him she’d failed.
Now she had to admit the truth. “They canceled me even before the interview, saying they’d already made their choice.”
“I’m sorry, Sienna.” His voice was soft, maybe with sympathy. At least he didn’t say he was sorry she wasn’t good enough for the job.
She couldn’t help asking. “Did Mr. Smithfield give you any indication when you talked to him?” It sounded like begging, and she added, “When I go out to interview again, I don’t want to make the same mistakes.” She hated admitting that she must have blown the interview.
“I’m sure they just found someone more…” He paused, as if he’d been about to say something hurtful, and qualified the statement with, “Someone who’s a better fit.”
More. She’d always wanted to be more, but never was.
But this time, she’d believed she was a perfect fit. “Okay. I just thought maybe…” She trailed off.
“I would have told you, Sienna, if there was a problem. You can always come here.” It sounded like a consolation prize, not something he truly wanted.
“Thanks, Dad.” She absolutely couldn’t go there. She’d constantly be proving herself. Even if her brother was two years younger, she’d never live up to him. “But I still want to try it on my own.”
“I’ll keep my eye out.” A hint of annoyance crept into his clipped voice as he said, “Don’t forget about the tasting at the caterers tomorrow.”
She didn’t feel up to it, and she’d have to leave an hour early, not that anyone would notice. She was just a tiny cog in a gigantic wheel. “I’ll be there. No worries.”
After hanging up, she called her brother. Matthew knew all the scuttlebutt. “Hey,” she said when he answered. “I was up for that job at Smithfield and Vine, but I didn’t get it.” She wasn’t as leery of telling her brother now that her dad knew.
“Too bad. Good luck on the next one.” He was terse, as if he was in the middle of something.
“Can you put your ear to the ground and find out what happened? I can’t imagine why they canceled without giving me a chance.”
