The Cowboy Daddy Hero (The Winchester Cowboys Series Book 1), page 8
She looked around. “But you don’t have any pictures or decorations. It’s just so—so stark.”
He shrugged again. “It suits me. When Cat gets older, we’ll decorate her room. Until then, this is fine.”
“Okay. I just hope you’re happy.”
Despite his best intentions, anger surged in his chest. “Happy? Now you’re worried if I’m happy? You don’t get to worry about that, Kara.”
He gusted out a breath and looked away. So much for his determination to be nicer. Dammit, he just didn’t know if he could do this.
She put Cat on her shoulder and patted her back. Cat started to fuss. She detested that position.
He said quietly, “She likes to face forward.”
“Oh, sorry.” Kara sat Cat on her lap facing outward, and she calmed right down. “I guess I have a lot to learn about our baby,” she said softly.
He nodded. He wanted a beer, but he wouldn’t drink one. Not around Kara. God, were the next two days going to be this bad?
“I’m going to order pizza this evening. Are you hungry yet?” he asked.
“That sounds great—and, yes, I could definitely eat. It’s been a long time since breakfast.” She bounced Cat on her knees, and the baby burbled her happiness.
“Okay, then. I’ll do that. Do you prefer any particular kind?” He thought he remembered that she liked everything on her pizzas.
“Surprise me,” she said.
He went into the kitchen and put in the order. After a minute or two, he called Dakota.
“Beau? Everything okay?”
He sighed. “No, I’m being an ass, and I can’t seem to stop.”
She chuckled. “Sounds like a reasonable reaction. After all, Kara abandoned you both, and this is the first you’ve heard from her.”
“Yeah, but I’ve got to make this work for Cat’s sake.”
“That’s true. What’re you going to do?”
He gritted his teeth. “I just get so angry. Everything she does gets on my nerves. But somehow, I’ve got to get over that. Cat needs this relationship.”
“You can do this, Beau. You’re a strong man, and you love your daughter. I have faith in you,” she said.
Just talking with Dakota soothed his nerves. And she was right. He was strong. He just had to draw on that strength to get through the weekend. “Have I ever told you how amazing you are?”
She chuckled. “Once or twice.”
He grinned. “Good, because you are. I guess I’d better get back in there. I just ordered pizza for dinner. Can I call you later?”
“You’d better, beautiful.”
He cracked up. “You’re getting a lot of mileage out of that word.”
“But it’s so true!”
“Talk to you later.”
Feeling a million times better, he went back to the living room. Cat was sitting calmly on Kara’s lap. He said, “The pizza’s ordered. I’m getting hungry too.”
Kara smiled. “Thanks for ordering dinner, Beau. That’s sweet of you.”
When he sat down in the recliner, Cat held out her hands to him. He got back up and picked her up. “Let’s go check your diaper, little one. That last bottle has probably run through you already.”
He went in and changed her, glad to have some distance from Kara for a few minutes. However, after speaking with Dakota, he was feeling a lot better about being around his ex. When he went back into the living room, he asked, “Would you like to hold her again?”
“Oh, I’d love to.”
He leaned down, and Cat seemed okay with going to her mother again. He was so proud of his daughter. She didn’t even know Kara, and yet she willingly went to her.
He sat back down and tried to think of something to say. “What’s the name of the café you work at?”
Kara told him and then said, “We serve mostly comfort food. We have a lot of regulars, and since I work the same three days a week, a lot of them know me. It’s nice because they tip me better that way.”
“That’s good.”
“I started at AA a couple of months ago,” she said quietly, without looking at him.
Well, at least she’d admitted she had a problem. “Good for you.”
“It’s been hard, but I know it’s important. I go to four meetings a week.”
It sounded like she was taking it seriously. He nodded when she finally glanced at him.
“I want to be a part of Cat’s life, Beau,” she said, her voice stronger this time.
He gritted his teeth and waited until the surge of anger passed. “Kara, you’ve got a lot to prove before that happens. This weekend’s a start, and I’m glad to hear that you’re tackling your drinking problem. But being Cat’s mother is a whole lot more than that. You walked out on her, and you didn’t want any part of her life. Hell, you gave up all rights to visitation, and you were happy with that. Now I’m supposed to believe that all that’s changed?”
“Beau, I’ve changed. I can be a good mother now. I don’t know why I didn’t want Cat when I left. It just seemed right back then. Now I know how wrong that was.”
He bit back the furious response in his head. It took several breaths before he could reply. “I’m glad you realize your mistake. But, honestly, Kara, I don’t give a damn.”
He stopped and clenched his mouth shut. He needed to try that again. “I’m doing this because I know Cat’s going to want you in her life. Kids want to know their parents. Personally? I wish you’d stay a million miles away. I don’t trust you. I don’t trust that you won’t change your mind again if things get tough.”
His eyes bored into hers. “I’ll tell you this, Kara. Don’t hurt her. It’ll be the last time you see her if you do.”
He got up and left the room. He needed some fresh air. After walking out to the back porch, he took a deep breath and shook his head. That could have gone better.
He sat down and put his head in his hands. He couldn’t keep on like this. The woman was going to stay with him all weekend, and he couldn’t be at odds with her the whole time. The amount of pent-up anger inside him was overwhelming, but he had to deal with it—and not by spewing it at her. He’d already said plenty, and it was time to stop.
He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. After a silent prayer for patience and understanding, he felt a little better. He went back into the house and found Kara bouncing Cat on her knees. Cat was getting fussy, probably because she was getting hungry. He said, “I think she’s ready for dinner. Let’s go into the kitchen.”
As he took jars of baby food down from the cabinet, he said, “Why don’t you strap her into her high chair?”
When he sat down in front of Cat, he started with bananas. After a few bites, he introduced the beef that he’d mixed with corn, one of her favorite vegetables.
“She’s such a good eater,” Kara said.
“She sure is. She likes her morning cereal too. I usually mix it with some kind of fruit.”
“I never thought she’d fill out like this,” Kara said.
He glanced at her and kept his mouth shut. He wasn’t going to be nasty anymore.
“Her doctor’s really happy with her weight gain. I’ve had to switch to a new pediatrician since we moved here. This guy’s good. I have a lot of confidence in him.”
“That’s great. Cat needs a good doctor.”
How would you know? Beau gritted his teeth. Then he sighed and let it go.
Before long, Cat was full and started refusing bites. He washed her face and took her out of her high chair.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
“That’ll be the pizza,” he said. He handed Cat to Kara. “I’ll be right back.”
When he returned to the kitchen, Kara was bouncing Cat in her arms and talking baby talk to her.
“Let’s sit at the table. You can put Cat back in her high chair if you like. She’ll be fine.”
He put out paper plates, then retrieved Kara’s tea glass and refilled it. Then he poured a glass for himself.
They didn’t talk much during dinner. They were both hungry. Cat burbled and drooled, putting her fist in her mouth. She was cutting a tooth, and everything went into her mouth nowadays.
When they’d finished eating, he took Cat out of her high chair. “It’s bathtime for you, little lady.”
“Oh, can I watch?” Kara asked.
“Of course. Let me get everything set up.”
After a few minutes, he called Kara back to the bathroom. When she walked in, he had Cat sitting in a seat in the bathwater and was pouring warm water over her shoulders with a cup.
“Isn’t she adorable?” Kara leaned against the wall.
“She sure is.” He squirted some baby bath onto his palm and began to wash Cat’s short, dark curls.
She endured the process placidly as she sucked on a washcloth.
When he was done, he tilted her head back and poured water over it.
Cat didn’t let out a peep.
“Is she always this good about her bath?” Kara asked.
“Yep. She doesn’t mind it at all.” He poured more warm water over her, then lathered up his hands before running them over her back and tummy and under her arms. Then he washed her little hands and fingers and rinsed her off again.
Cat grabbed the cup, and he laughed. “Oh no, you don’t. We’re not done yet, missy.”
He lathered up his hands again and lifted her out of the chair. After washing her bottom, he took the baby washcloth and cleaned her front. Then he scrubbed her legs and rinsed them off.
“This is quite a production, Beau,” Kara said and grinned.
“I’ve got to get my baby clean,” he said with a smile as he sat Cat down in the chair again and washed her feet and toes.
He pointed to the countertop. “Why don’t you grab that towel, and I’ll hand her to you?”
“Awesome!” She held the towel wide, and he put a sopping wet and happy Cat into her arms. Kara bundled her up and kissed her cheek. “You smell good, sweetheart.”
For the first time, Beau’s heart warmed to Kara. “Follow me into her room, and we’ll get her dressed.”
Beau heard Kara say, “Oh, you pretty thing,” and the smack of another kiss as they walked into Cat’s bedroom.
He’d laid out her zip-up onesie pajamas, along with a diaper and ointment. “Just put her down in her crib,” he said.
Kara struggled to take the towel off Cat, so he helped her. Then she laid her down on the mattress. “Shall I dress her too?”
“Sure, if you want.”
He stood back and let Kara work her way through it. He didn’t offer to help, afraid that it would make her nervous.
After a few false starts, Kara had Cat diapered and all zipped up. She picked her up proudly and held her in her arms. “Does she get rocked to sleep?”
He smiled. “She’ll want to play for a while now, which is good. It tires her out. Come on back into the living room and I’ll show you.”
Once there, he spread Cat’s floor blanket out and scattered toys for her to discover. Then he took her from Kara and put her on her tummy on the blanket, facing one of the closest toys. “She’ll find that in a minute. Just wait and see.”
After a moment, Kara asked quietly from her seat on the couch, “So, she can see it?”
Anger bloomed in his chest again, and he quickly knocked it back. Of course she would know nothing about Cat’s vision. For all Kara knew, Cat was completely blind.
“I’m not sure how much vision she has, but she can see some things, especially if they’re brightly colored. She has an ophthalmologist appointment coming up, and I should know more then.”
“Right.” Kara clasped her hands tightly in her lap.
Cat raised her head and moved it from side to side, then noticed the toy. She began to scoot on her tummy in that direction, making slow but sure progress. Then she accidentally flipped onto her back and grunted in frustration.
He chuckled. “Don’t worry. She’ll get there. She never gives up. She gets up on all fours but hasn’t figured out how to go anywhere yet. That’s what her occupational therapist is going to help her with.”
Cat rolled back onto her belly and took off again on a slightly different trajectory. When she eventually reached the toy, she gurgled in satisfaction and rolled onto her back as she put it into her mouth.
He laughed and turned to Kara. “I told you she’d make it. She’s determined. I think she’ll be crawling any day now.”
“I’m glad you rock her to sleep, Beau. I think that’s sweet.”
“Well, I don’t actually rock her all the way to sleep, unless she’s really fussy. I rock her until she’s sleepy, and then I put her to bed. I want her to learn how to go to sleep herself.”
Kara cocked an eyebrow. “Does it work?”
“Usually.”
“It sounds like you have a good system.”
He shrugged. “I think so. It works for us.”
After twenty minutes or so, Cat got fussy. He picked her up and gave her a kiss. “Would you mind holding her while I make her a bottle?”
Kara held out her arms. “I’d love to.”
When he came back out with the bottle, Kara asked tentatively, “Do you mind if I give it to her?”
He didn’t answer right away. He always gave Cat her bottle while he rocked her. Would she relax with Kara?
He sighed. This weekend was all about Cat getting to know her mother, after all. “Sure. Come on back to the nursery. That’s where I rock her.”
After Kara settled into the chair with Cat snuggled in her arms, he handed her the bottle. “When she finishes it, just put her to bed. She sleeps on her back with no blanket. Her pajamas keep her warm enough.”
Kara nodded and then smiled down at Cat as she gave her the bottle. Cat grabbed it with her hands and started to suck.
Beau smiled and left the room.
He texted Dakota:
Things are better here. Kara’s rocking Cat and giving her a bottle. Thanks for the chat earlier. I’m feeling a lot better. How has your evening been?
After a couple of minutes, she sent:
Busy. I just got Johnathan showered. We had pancakes for dinner, and he loved them. But he got syrup all over himself. LOL.
He smiled, imagining how Johnathan must have looked.
I’ll call you tonight after I go to my room, which will be early. I’m going to tell Kara that she can watch TV in the living room. Again, thanks for being here for me.
She texted:
Of course. Always.
He sent three hearts and smiled. Just a little while longer, and he’d be done with Kara for the evening.
After what seemed like a very long time, Kara came back into the living room. She looked at him sheepishly. “I couldn’t give her up. I rocked her to sleep. I hope you don’t mind.”
He shook his head. “It won’t hurt once in a while.” He stood up from the recliner. “Listen, feel free to watch TV in here. I’m going back to shower and go to bed. Just make yourself at home.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “Already?”
He nodded. “There’s a Keurig for coffee in the morning if you get up before me. Creamer’s in the fridge, and sugar’s on the counter.”
“Okay, thanks, Beau. I’ll be fine.”
She was still standing there as he turned around to leave. He wasn’t sure if she’d stay up and watch TV or go to bed. He wasn’t going to entertain her, that was for sure. Right now he was just happy to tolerate her.
After his shower, he called Dakota and brought her up to speed.
“Well, I’m glad you were able to make a breakthrough. Good for you, Beau,” she said. “Did Kara stay up or did she go to her room?”
“I didn’t hear the TV when I got out of the shower.”
“She was probably tired from the long drive and from all the tension of seeing you again, don’t you think?”
“Probably. I know I feel drained. All that anger wore me out. I’m still shocked at how strongly I dislike her. This has brought all that anger up again. She never wanted our babies. Then, when we lost Cat’s sister, she rejected everything—me, Cat, motherhood, marriage. All she wanted to do was to get drunk. She was hateful and mean. There wasn’t anything I could do but take care of Cat and watch my life fall apart. When her sister took her to Houston after the divorce, it was a relief. It gutted me, but at least Kara couldn’t hurt me anymore.”
He sighed. “And now here she is like none of that ever happened, and she wants to be Cat’s momma now. I tell you, Dakota, it’s hard to take.”
“I can only imagine how tough it is,” she said softly. “You went through hell, and now it’s come back to haunt you.”
“That’s right, and it’s not fair. Kara doesn’t deserve a second chance.”
Dakota stayed silent.
After a moment, he said, “But, whether she deserves it or not, I’ll give it to her for Cat’s sake.”
“You’re a good daddy, Beau,” Dakota said.
“It’s so hard. And I’m worried that she’s still not stable. I don’t trust her. She says she’s been going to AA, though. I guess that’s good.”
“That’s great news.”
God, he wished Dakota was with him. That he could take her into his arms. “Do you think Michael can do an overnight when this is all over?”
He could hear her smiling when she said, “I’ll bet I could set something up.”
He laughed. “Thank you. I’ll count on it.” Then he remembered something. “Hey, I’d like to plan a weekend trip to the ranch. When do you think we can do that? We could leave Friday after I get off work and come back Sunday afternoon.”
“Oh my gosh, that sounds fantastic! I can make that happen anytime—just give me the dates,” she said.
“Let me talk to my parents, and I’ll get back with you.” He smiled and ran his hand through his hair. “This is going to be fun, Dakota. Hey, if I led the horse, do you think Johnathan could ride?”
“Hm, do you have a helmet? I’d think he’d need a helmet if he got on a horse.”
“No, we don’t have helmets. Nobody uses them where I come from.”
After a few seconds, she said, “I have an idea. I’ve got a friend who rides English and stables her horse here in San Antonio. I’ll ask her if I can borrow a helmet over that weekend. Johnathan and I can meet her there at the stables and try it on for size.”
