Her Texas Cowboy Protector, page 11
“Sure.” She quickly finished with the papers, then turned and headed for the racks of camouflage clothing, surprised to see that there was a whole rack dedicated to women’s clothes. She smiled. Should she get something?
She had been browsing for less than ten minutes when she heard Randy call her name.
He quickly rang up her purchases and smiled warmly at her as he handed her the bag.
“Randy, thanks for your help. I was really worried about coming in here today.”
He nodded. “I’m glad I could help. I hope you’ll feel safer now that you’re prepared to defend yourself.”
She nodded. “Me too.”
When she got home, she felt so buoyant, she decided to text Landon. After getting into her comfy clothes, she sent:
Hey, it’s me. I think I might be on the right track, finally. I bought a handgun today, and I’m going to be taking a license-to-carry class in a couple of days. I’m feeling kind of hopeful. Less scared, too. And I guess I just wanted you to know.
He sent right back
God, it’s great to hear from you! And I’m so thankful that you’re not feeling so scared. I’ve been praying hard for you, Natalie. I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but I just want you to know that I miss you. I hope you continue to feel better, and I hope that your class goes well. Thanks for getting in touch. It made my day!
The corner of her mouth lifted, and she sent back:
I’ve also found a self-defense class for women. I start next Monday night. It’s at a boxing gym, if you can believe that. The guy who teaches it only takes four students at a time, so I’ll get lots of one-on-one with him.
He sent back:
That sounds amazing. I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself this way. I can only imagine what you’re going through. I wish there was something I could do to help. Please just know that I’m here for you. I support you and pray for you always.
The old warmth she’d felt for him swept through her in a wave. Smiling, she sent:
Thanks. I’ll let you know how it goes. I can’t imagine myself in boxing gloves. Maybe I’ll send you a pic. Lol.
He sent:
Yes!
She chuckled and texted:
How’s your head?
He sent:
I’m doing better. I still can’t do any work on the ranch, and I’m going crazy. I ride around with Dad in the truck so I don’t drive Mom nuts. Lol.
She texted:
Hang in there.
Then she set her phone down, feeling better than she had since she’d returned home.
Landon grinned when his dad climbed back into the truck after pouring out feed to the herd. “Dad! Guess who just texted me.”
His dad turned the ignition and chuckled. “Well, judging by that big ol’ grin on your face, I’d say it had to be Natalie.”
“Yes! She said she’s feeling a little bit better. She’s bought a handgun and she’s going to take a license-to-carry class. She’s even taking a self-defense class.”
His dad’s eyebrows rose. “No kidding?”
“It’s true. Dad, I feel so much better. I actually have some hope now.”
His dad pulled away from the herd. “I’m happy for you, son. I know you’ve been worried, and I just didn’t know what to do for you. This is great news.” As the truck sped up, he added, “Be sure and tell your mother.”
“I will.”
When they arrived at the next pasture, he got out when his dad did and leaned against the side of the truck. He read their texts again, then once more. Overwhelmed with emotion, he closed his eyes, praying for healing for Natalie. Praying that her fear would finally go away. That she’d feel safe once more.
Monday night, Natalie wiped sweat from her brow and finished taking off her boxing gloves. Her second hour of class had finished up with a session on the bag. Learning to punch correctly had taken her some time. She’d never realized how much there was to throwing a proper punch. The other women in class had worked as intensely as she had, and she felt that they were as dedicated as she was to learning self-protection.
She was worn out yet exhilarated, filled with a powerful feeling, one that she hoped could soon conquer her fear. She’d thought about Rachel as they’d worked out and wished that she would soon get well enough to come to a class like this. She knew her friend wasn’t doing well. Natalie had given her new phone number to Rachel’s mom and had told her that Rachel could call any time.
When she got home, she took a long, hot shower, then poured herself a glass of wine and snuggled under the blanket on the couch. She kept the heat low when she was away, so the air had a chill in it. She’d left the lamp off in the room, lighting a couple of candles instead, preferring the cozy feeling of the dim light.
Still buoyed and upbeat from class, she texted Landon:
I just finished my first self-defense class. It was awesome. I know I’ll be sore tomorrow, though. And I’m licensed to carry my SIG with me now. I feel more confident when I leave the house, too. I don’t feel the need to look over my shoulder every few seconds. That was a horrible sensation.
He sent:
How exciting! You should really be proud of yourself, Natalie. If you have some Icy Hot, rub it on your shoulders. It helps. I use it after I’ve bucked hay all day.
She texted:
Good idea. I’ll have to get some. How’s your head doing? And how’s your nose?
He sent:
I’m getting well, little by little and my nose is actually straight!
She texted:
That’s great news.
He sent:
Thanks, Natalie. I’m so happy to hear from you. Keep up the good work. I miss you like crazy and pray for your continued improvement. Good night.
She smiled, liking how he never pushed her for more than she could give. He was such a wonderful man.
She took a sip of wine and stared at the candle flame. Still not ready for bed, she settled back onto the couch. She suddenly remembered horseback riding on the ranch with Landon and smiled. That had been such a fun day. Other memories of their time together came to mind, and she realized it wasn’t uncomfortable anymore to think about him.
She tucked a pillow against her tummy and hugged it. She was getting better, thank God. Literally, thank God. He’d been the one to lead her to this newfound strength. She closed her eyes and thanked Him in prayer as peace settled over her heart.
Chapter Thirteen
Landon took a sip of his cold beer as he relaxed in a chair on his front porch. It was a chilly night in late January, but he’d been unable to stand it inside his cabin. The sky was clear, and he enjoyed looking up at the stars.
Ever since Natalie had bought her gun and started her self-defense classes, they’d been texting regularly. It was nice, but his heart ached desperately to see her, to hold her in his arms.
Sighing, he took another swallow of beer. He wouldn’t rush her. She needed to heal in her own time. He knew that, but it didn’t make his longing for her any easier to bear.
His text tone sounded, and his pulse picked up. It was Natalie:
Do you think you might be able to come see me, Landon? Maybe we could go out for dinner this weekend or something. I’ve decided to go back to work, part-time for starters, on Monday. Man am I nervous about that.
Heart pounding, he sent:
Of course I can. Shall we do Friday or Saturday?
She texted:
How about Friday? It’s less crowded then.
He sent back:
Friday it is. I’ll pick you up at six-thirty. And, Natalie, I’m so happy!
She texted:
Me too!
He shot his fist into the air and yelled at the top of his lungs. He called his mom a few seconds later. “You’ll never guess what just happened!”
His mom laughed. “I can tell by how excited you are that this must be about Natalie.”
“She wants to go out on Friday, Mom. Isn’t that great?”
“Oh, honey, that’s wonderful. I’m so glad that she’s feeling better. And I’m thrilled for you, son.” Then she covered the phone with her hand and called out, “Ken, Landon’s going out with Natalie Friday night!”
Landon chuckled. He didn’t blame his mom for being excited. Both of his parents had been worried about him—and worried about Natalie too.
A moment later, his dad got on the phone. “Son, congratulations. This is great news.”
“Thanks, Dad. I’m over the moon right now.”
“I’m sure you are. When you see Natalie, be sure you tell her how happy your mom and I are that she’s feeling better.”
“I sure will. See you tomorrow.”
He stared out into the shadows across the pasture. The night was so quiet. It was one of the things he loved most about living on the ranch. The cattle were usually silent at night. And at this time of year, there were no noisy insects. He sighed, feeling truly happy for the first time in so long.
He’d always planned on building his own house on the ranch, and now felt like the right time to do it. He’d saved up a sizeable amount for a down payment on a mortgage. He looked around now with that in mind. The land around the cabin was flat, and there were few trees, so none would have to be cut down. That was a huge bonus in his book. Yeah, this was a perfect place to build. The old cabin could be torn down to make room for his new house.
He called his dad back and told him what he was thinking. “Don’t you think this is a perfect spot? We could tear this old cabin down, couldn’t we?”
“Son, there’s something you may want to consider before you go off on this idea of building your own place. Why don’t you talk to Beau? We had an interesting conversation the last time he was here. He doesn’t think he’ll ever come back to live here at the ranch. He said that Cat is always going to need to live in a big city. She’ll want to use public transportation or something like it to get around. And he wants to live near her. And you know that all of Dakota’s family lives in San Antonio. It seems like you could buy Beau’s house from him, don’t you think? It’d sure be a good deal all around.”
Surprised, Landon said, “That’s actually not a bad idea. And I really like Beau’s house. I wanted to build a four-bedroom home, so his would be perfect. Thanks, Dad. I’ll give him a call.”
He finished the last swallow of his beer and moved back into the house. As he took off his coat, he decided to go ahead and call Beau. He sat on the couch and pulled up his brother’s number.
Beau answered. “Hey, little brother. It’s about time you called.”
Landon laughed. “How’s the family?”
Beau filled him in on how Cat and Johnathan and the baby were doing, and then Landon heard Dakota say, “Tell that little brother of yours to come see us when he gets better.”
Landon grinned. “Tell that pretty wife of yours that I will.”
“What can I do for you, Landon? I know you called for something, little brother.”
Landon laughed again. “You know me pretty well. Hey, I was talking to Dad a little while ago about building my own house here on the ranch, and he suggested that I talk to you about buying yours. What do you think?”
“Are you serious?”
“I sure am. I like your house, and it has the right number of bedrooms.”
“Oh, man, Landon, that’s an answer to my prayers. I’d love to get out from under that payment. I’ll give you a great deal. Let me call the bank tomorrow, okay? I put a big chunk of money down on the house, and the land was free, of course. Also, I have a friend at the title office who can do the paperwork for us, so we won’t need to use a realtor.”
“Sounds great, Beau. I’m really getting excited about this.”
“You and me both, man.”
Landon’s pulse was racing when he disconnected the call. This could all work out perfectly—for Beau and for him.
He went in and took a long, hot shower. Everything had turned around so quickly.
When he got into bed, he said a prayer of thankfulness, his heart so full he couldn’t quit smiling. Friday couldn’t come soon enough.
Friday evening, Natalie glanced around the restaurant at the other diners. She’d been thrilled when Landon had told her that he’d made reservations at Perla’s Seafood and Oyster Bar. She was drinking the sparkling rosé wine, and Landon had a glass of the sparkling white. Her meal of scallops a la plancha was fabulous. “How’s your ahi tuna?” she asked.
“Delicious. I love coming here. How’s your dinner?”
“Heavenly.” She’d wondered if it would be hard to see him again, but it wasn’t. He was so kind, so gentle and sweet. How could she have forgotten that?
“How are your mom and dad?” he asked.
“They’re fine. A little overprotective.” Her heart thumped hard as she remembered why. “But I understand.”
“I can see that,” he said. “They love you, and what happened would have terrified them.”
“Yeah, I know it did.” She took another bite, keeping her eyes on her plate. Would he let it go? God, she hoped so.
“You don’t have to talk about how you’re feeling, Natalie. You have your therapist for that.”
A pent-up gasp exploded from her, and her hand flew to her mouth. She hadn’t even been aware that she’d been holding her breath.
He reached across the table and clasped her hand. “It’s okay.” He held her gaze, his eyes warm and kind. “I’m here for you in any way you need me to be. Just relax and enjoy your dinner.”
She forced herself to smile. He was right. She should just relax. She squeezed his fingers. “Thanks.”
He let her go and took a bite of his fish. “I’m so sick and tired of not being able to work. I went to my doc this week, and he said I needed to take it easy for another two weeks! I mean, seriously? I’m going crazy with all this lazing around! I help Mom with stuff I can do around the house, but I’m bored out of my mind.”
She grimaced. It was easy to forget that he’d gone through something terrible too. He just seemed so normal. Was he tormented by regret or guilt? Did he have terrible nightmares too?”
“How’s your head feeling? Does it still hurt?”
“I still get dizzy if I overdo it. But it doesn’t pound anymore.”
She nodded. “Will you ever be good as new? What’s your prognosis?” God, please let him be okay. He loved his ranch work so much.
“I should come out of this just fine if I keep up my end of the deal and take it easy and I’m doing that.”
“That’s good.” She looked down at her plate. She needed to pray more for him. She’d been so caught up in her own healing that she hadn’t paid enough attention to his. What kind of person did that make her? She bit her lip and blinked back tears.
She suddenly felt overstimulated, overwhelmed with emotion. She couldn’t eat another bite. She set her fork across her plate and nudged it away from her.
Landon’s eyebrows rose. “Finished already?”
She nodded, trying to keep her expression pleasant. She wanted to go home. Needed the quiet.
He seemed to sense her mood and signaled their waitress, asking for their bill. In no time at all, they were in his truck and heading for her apartment.
He reached for her hand. “It’s okay, Natalie.”
God, he was so patient with her. She squeezed his fingers, fighting back tears.
When he pulled up to her complex, he walked her to her door.
Before she could say anything, he took her hands. “I’m so glad you called, Natalie.” He cupped her face in his hand. “Take good care of yourself. You know where I am. Just call me if you need me.” Then he turned and walked away. No pressure. No drama.
Her knees buckled as tension flooded from her. She grabbed the doorknob behind her for support. A moment later, she opened the door and went inside, but the relief she expected to feel didn’t come. Instead, she felt sad. Miserable and lonely. She glanced back at the door. She was lonely for the sweet cowboy who knew her so well.
Landon drove out of the apartment complex and headed toward the highway, his gut in turmoil. He’d hoped that Natalie would be further along in her healing, but that obviously wasn’t the case. He swallowed past a lump in his throat and blinked back tears.
Something had come over her at dinner, but he had no idea what it was. All he could do now was give her space. She needed more time to heal.
Twenty minutes later, he stared ahead at the white glare the headlights made on the narrow two-lane highway. On this mostly deserted stretch of road, deer were frequent visitors, and he had to be careful not to hit one.
All of his enthusiasm had vanished after one look at Natalie’s drawn face when she’d pushed her plate back. She’d pulled away from him in an instant. A sense of helplessness overwhelmed him as he focused on the dark, lonely road ahead. Even the prospect of owning his own home felt empty now. What was he going to do by himself with three empty bedrooms? His dinner sat in his stomach like a leaden ball. His head ached, and he felt the pain right down to his soul.
His heart hurt, and he raised his hand to it. For the first time, he felt that Natalie might never really be whole again. Eyes open, he prayed: God, please ease Natalie’s heart. Take away her fear. Calm her memories and stop her bad dreams. Bring her back to me, if that’s what’s right. I love you, God. Amen.
Days later, Natalie leaned back on the couch in her therapist’s office. She’d just finished telling Dianne about her disastrous date with Landon where she’d had to leave half-way through dinner.
“So you feel that you’ve been too self-centered since your kidnapping? Is that what I’m hearing?” Dianne asked.
Natalie nodded. “I’ve never really thought about what Landon went through. He was hurt badly! He tried to protect us all and he killed three men. I’ve been so upset and worried about myself that I’ve barely considered that he must have been traumatized too. How selfish is that?” Her throat closed, and she struggled to take a breath.
