Damned Sinner, page 15
part #1 of Jayne Series
“Isn’t it?” she asked. “How do you know? When did you finally admit to yourself that you loved her? Just now?”
I chuckled. “Not just now... earlier.”
“Please don’t tell me—when you were with the girl earlier, right?”
I nodded. It wasn’t that I was embarrassed, but it wasn’t my finest moment either. “I care about her, and I always have. I knew it was different, but I didn’t realize it was that. I wouldn’t be good at loving her. I already hurt her—I’ll hurt her again and again. Is that fair?”
She shrugged. “That happens, even when you’re in love. I mean, don’t get me wrong—I’m not some guru on this shit. It’s all very new to me, too. I just know that it’s pretty awesome to know that I have someone I love, and he loves me back. Imperfect and messy and sometimes ridiculous, but when he holds me and looks at me like he can’t believe I’m real, that’s a feeling I would take no matter how many times he hurt me. He can be a real asshole, and you know how I am. We mess up with each other all the time, but we figure it out and move on. But no matter what, we love each other, and that makes it all okay.”
I still wasn’t convinced, but it didn’t matter anyway. She didn’t choose me, and that was where it ended. We didn’t have anything close to what Jayne had with Flynn. They were willing to wallow in ugly and stupid, and Kelsey wasn’t.
And I’d known that all along.
I sighed, suddenly exhausted, and went back to the couch. “So, this party next weekend. What do you need me to do?”
She smiled and patted the spot next to her. “I need you to make sure I don’t strangle my future mother-in-law. This is her gig, and I need backup.”
I motioned for her to scoot forward and lay on my side behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist.
“Anything for you, kid. I got you.”
Chapter Thirteen
The week flew by, but there was a wave of anxiety brewing. We were busy getting the girls ready to start working—testing, photographs, and paperwork filed—but we were both preoccupied with the upcoming party, both for our own reasons.
I hated that I laid most of the decorating on her as well. I didn’t know what to do with it, but I did know I didn’t want flowers, and I had a feeling if we let the girls make their own decisions, it’d look like a bad flea market blew up.
Cherise offered to help, and I couldn’t turn her down. She relieved my guilt and took some of the slack off Jayne, so it was a win-win situation—even if I had to deal with Cherise more than necessary.
I had to admit, though, she’d come through and hadn’t pissed me off once. In fact, I actually enjoyed having her around.
She liked being helpful, and she liked being involved. She was lonely and bored, and to some extent, I understood how she felt. I hated not working, and even though she’d spent most of her life not working, she’d always been involved with something. She’d lost a lot, just like the rest of us, and when I put it in that context, I found I could relate to her a little better.
Besides that, she really cared about Jayne and wanted the best for her and Flynn. That had always been the main reason I gave Cherise the credit I did, however small it was.
The day of the party, Jayne and Cherise had stayed at the house to get ready, which left me alone at the brothel. I’d sent all the girls home the day before and closed everything down for the weekend. We only had three girls working at the time anyway—at least until we got everyone else on the books.
I walked through the place, shaking my head. We’d cleaned it up as much as we could, but it still looked like a dump. I wasn’t willing to put money into it—as Jayne proposed—so it was pretty bare.
Somehow, I thought I’d be happier, but there was something gnawing at my insides. I was uneasy about seeing Kelsey. I’d talked myself up all week—ever since I found out about her coming—but it was no good. Telling Jayne I’d fallen for her opened it all up, and it had become an almost constant predator in my life. In my head, I told myself it would be good to see her and close everything up again. I’d managed to let her go before, and I could do it again.
If I made it through the night in one piece.
I was just about to give the place one more walk-through when there was a knock at the door. I frowned, hoping to hell someone hadn’t forgotten to put out the sign out front, and went to answer it.
“Maya,” I said. As surprised as I was to see her, it wasn’t entirely a disappointment.
She looked just as gorgeous as she had a week before, and I shamelessly let my eyes wander over her body. She’d been amazing naked, obviously, but in a skin-tight sweater and black jeans and boots... she was just what I needed to see.
“Hey, Mr. Donovan. I talked to Jayne on Tuesday and told her I’d be dropping my paperwork off. I didn’t see her car...” She turned and looked over her shoulder and then back at me. “Can I just leave it with you?”
“Vince,” I told her. “Just call me Vince, and yes, you can leave it with me. Come on in.”
She looked hesitant, and it made me feel like a complete shithead.
“Look—about the other day. You did fine. I was having a bad day, but it had nothing to do with you, okay?”
She bowed her head and then looked back up at me from underneath her eyelashes. “That’s good to hear. I was afraid I’d failed the test—or whatever it was.”
She followed me in, and I put the paperwork on the front desk. I wasn’t sure where it went—Jayne could sort it out later.
“Listen,” I said. “Let me make it up to you. Jayne’s having a party tonight for her engagement or whatever. Come with me.”
She looked shocked, and I didn’t blame her. What the fuck was I thinking? I was losing my goddamned mind.
It just came out of my mouth unwarranted. My mind was so mangled up because of Kelsey and whatever the hell I was going to walk in on when I got to that party. I hadn’t let myself truly think about seeing her with another man, but it was likely to happen. Jayne said so herself.
“Are you sure? I mean, that would be... amazing, but are you sure Jayne wouldn’t mind that I came with you?”
I knew what she was getting at, but Jayne obviously hadn’t divulged any of her background to any of the girls. She had no idea. I wasn’t exactly sure Jayne would be thrilled about me bringing a new employee, but she’d never have a problem with Maya for what she was.
“It’ll be fun. It’s a swanky deal—good food, free drinks, music—all of that. We’ll have a good time, and you can see that I’m not always an asshole.”
“Okay. Yes. I’ll go.”
I dug into my back pocket, grabbed my wallet, and handed her a few bills. “Like I said, this is a big deal. Get a dress and whatever else. Jayne won’t mind if I bring a date, but she hates tacky dresses.”
She giggled, and it lit up her face. I decided in that moment that Maya wouldn’t be hooking if I had anything to do with it. Not for me—not for anyone. I’d work on it with Jayne, but there was something about Maya that reminded me of Jayne. She was made for something different.
“Write down your address, and I’ll have someone pick you up around six.”
She looked a little shell-shocked, and I wasn’t sure I looked much different.
“Okay. So, see you at six.”
She handed me her address on an old receipt, and then stood on her toes, kissed me on the cheek, and turned and ran out the door like her ass was on fire.
“What the hell am I doing?” I mumbled to myself. “This is an epic fuck up.”
There was nothing I could do about it, so I sent Collins a quick text with her address and the time, and ordered him to pick her up and deliver her to the house for me. I wasn’t about to create an even bigger mess by picking her up like it was a date.
I checked the time on my phone and figured it was time to go home and prepare myself for the party—and by prepare myself, I was going to start my buzz. I wasn’t going to make it through the night sober—that was a given.
Chapter Fourteen
Jayne asked me to come early so I could be there to help her greet the guests. She mentioned something about my charm—but I knew that was bullshit. She just wanted backup, and I was fine with that.
When I walked into the house, I was shocked. I didn’t think it was possible to improve on their place, but she’d really outdone herself. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. It looked almost magical with all the little lights and flowers and decorations. I’d never been to a wedding before—much less an engagement party. I was impressed. The moment I walked through the door, I felt different. It all became real.
My girl was getting married.
I had a belly of regret once it sunk in. I’d almost pretended that it wasn’t going to happen—not that I didn’t want it for her, but I never thought she’d allow herself to do it. She’d mentioned it to me when we talked, and it all made sense. She never let herself believe it either.
I saw Flynn waving me over from the other side of the room and gave him a nod and walked over. He was surrounded by a bunch of old nags, so I knew he’d want me to step in and save his ass.
“You clean up pretty good. Been a while since you’ve been in a suit.”
I shook his hand and nodded to his guests. “Ladies.”
“Flynn was just telling us about his plans for the wedding. He’s just like his father. The bigger the better,” a petite blonde around Cherise’s age cooed. “And just as handsome.”
I saw Flynn’s jaw tense and figured it was a good time to walk away. “Where is your beautiful bride hiding? She sent me a text a few minutes ago wondering where I was.”
The relief washed over him, and he gave me a look of gratitude. “I’ll take you upstairs. She’s still getting ready,” he said.
“Of course she is,” I said wryly. “It was nice meeting you, ladies, but we don’t want to disappoint the bride.”
I turned to walk away, but stopped when I felt a hand on my forearm. “Vince, isn’t it?”
I stiffened. “Yes, do I know you?”
I wanted to fling her hand off my arm but tried to keep myself under control. The way she looked at me made me uncomfortable, and I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like what she had to say.
“I met you several years ago. With Evelyn.”
She drew out Eve’s name, and I swallowed the brick lodged in my throat. Not tonight. I smiled, grabbed her hand as nicely as I could, and removed it from my arm.
“Well, I can’t say I remember, but it’s nice of you to show up to share this night with Jayne and Flynn. I’m sure they appreciate it.”
I caught up to Flynn and he turned to me, laughing. “Am I going to have a problem with you and the old ladies tonight, champ?”
“Why don’t you go fuck yourself? It would’ve been nice to have a head’s up that your mother was inviting all her dirty old friends.”
“I don’t need to fuck myself—I get to fuck Jayne. You, on the other hand, might get lucky.”
I groaned. “Don’t worry about me, sport. I’ll do just fine.”
He raised an eyebrow and stopped us at the foot of the stairs. “Did Jayne tell you Kelsey was coming?”
I felt the words like a punch in the gut. Was he rubbing that shit in?
“She told me. I have no problem with it, and I told her so. Tonight is all about Janie. I’m going to do my best to avoid her as much as possible. If we cross paths, I’ll be civil. That’s all I’ve got.”
He started to say something else, and I had a feeling I knew what it was. I didn’t need a reminder that she was bringing a date.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m bringing someone tonight. I’ll be preoccupied with her. It doesn’t matter.”
His eyebrows dipped and a troubled look took over his features, but I wasn’t going to go into it further.
“Get out of the way, would ya? What room is Janie in?” I shoved past him and climbed the stairs two at a time.
I needed to see Jayne and center myself. It was her night. I had to see her, and I had to know she was okay.
I found her in the bathroom of their room, sitting on a stool in front of the vanity. I didn’t like the look on her face. She looked flustered and upset with fresh tear stains on her cheeks.
“What. The fuck. Is going on?”
She turned, sighing quietly, and picked up her brush. “Nothing, really. I’m just being stupid and emotional. This is terrifying,” she said with a little laugh.
She waved her brush behind her and looked at me through the mirror. “After everything I’ve done in my life, I have to say I find it freaking scary as hell to walk into that room as Jayne King—future wife of Flynn Maguire.” She took a deep breath and continued.
“If I were just his escort for the night, I’d know what to do.” Her voice cracked a little, and she cleared her throat. “I don’t know what to do.”
I stood back and looked her over. Stunning. She was more beautiful than I’d ever seen her. Ever.
The red dress she wore was long and hugged her figure—every delicate curve. It was classic and flattering and fit her personality perfectly. She’d stand out in a room wearing a paper bag. Tonight, she’d more than knock them on their asses. They’d be stunned into a stupor.
I didn’t know what to say to her. She was a vision, and she was never self-conscious. The girl wrote the book on making men beg with her smile alone.
“Janie, you need to stop thinking so much and just enjoy it. Just be yourself. Part of who you are is working a room of strangers—that was never an act for you. You had that down before you grew that set of tits. You have this thing—it draws people in. You always have.”
She gave me a small smile. “So I look okay? Flynn picked out the dress. It’s pretty, right?”
I nodded. “Very. You look... indescribable.”
She smirked. “Flatterer. But thank you. I love it, and I really love my shoes.”
I followed her finger as she pointed toward the bedroom where a pair of jeweled red shoes sat waiting on the bed.
“That dude sure does a lot of shopping for shoes.”
She laughed. “He likes shoes—what can I say? I’m not complaining, trust me. I happen to like shoes, too.”
“I remember,” I mumbled.
“You look handsome, by the way. That’s a nice suit—is it new?”
I grabbed at the jacket and looked down at it, nodding. It was new—and cost me way more than it should have.
“Only the best for my best girl. I couldn’t show up looking like a schmuck, could I?”
She stopped dragging the brush through her hair and grabbed a box of tissues from the counter, yanking several out of the slot on top and dabbing some lotion on them.
“You never look like a schmuck. You’re going to be a very popular man tonight, I imagine. You’re a hot number in that fancy suit.”
She continued to wipe her face, and although she looked better, she still looked upset. At least she had stopped crying.
“Yeah, about that,” I said. I took a seat on the stool next to her and ran a hand through my hair. “Two things: first of all, I invited a girl tonight—as my date or something like it.”
I heard her take a small intake of breath and turned to find her eyes wide and mouth open in shock.
“Wait a minute—let’s work with number one first. A date? Anyone I know?”
I smirked. “Maya.”
She frowned and looked away. She was quiet while she rubbed some crap on her face, and it made me nervous. Quiet Jayne was a thinking Jayne, and that was always terrifying.
“That sounds like a fantastic fucking bad idea. Are you high?” She slammed the small bottle on the counter and shook her head.
I laughed and reached over to touch her arm. “Not yet. I’m hoping your fiancé has some blow for later.”
She scowled and stood up, propping her hip on the vanity while she stared me down.
“You’re not funny, so stop it,” she snapped. “And seriously? You choose tonight to change your protocol? Of all nights, you decide to date your hookers tonight? Why?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t want to show up stag. I knew there’d be a slew of old broads here—and for your information, I’ve already been approached. Which leads me to my second point—is Evelyn here?”
“Who?” she asked, wrinkling her nose. “I don’t even... no! Don’t change the subject. You just admitted to me the other night that you’re in love with Kelsey, so why would you bring Maya?”
I got up and held up a hand to stop her ranting. “I am not dating Maya. I have other plans for her, anyway. I brought her here because she’s a nice girl and I wanted some company tonight. I would never do anything to upset you—especially not tonight. Come on, Janie—you know me better than that.”
I put my hands on her shoulders and ducked down to look into her eyes. “Right? You know me. I have it all under control. Don’t worry so much.”
She squinted at me and squirreled up her lips in a sneer. “A girl... are you sure you aren’t playing with fire? And what about Kelsey?”
I tapped a finger against her lips to shut her up and smiled. “First of all—Maya is twenty-six. I shouldn’t call her a girl. She’s a woman. Secondly, what about Kelsey? I did—do love her, but that boat sailed, kid. We already talked about this.”
She huffed and shrugged out of my grasp. “So, you’re just giving up? Just like that?”
I huffed. “Yes, just like that. Drop it, Jayne.”
I turned to walk out of the room, but stopped. “Finish getting ready, darlin’. They’re all waiting on you. You’re the main attraction; you can’t keep them waiting.”
“Vince, wait,” she said softly.
I spun around to face her and she walked over to me, pressing her hand against my chest.
“I understand you’re hurt. I also know you don’t understand anything about women.”
I opened my mouth to argue because if there was one thing I did know, it was women, but she shook her head to stop me.
