Dinosaur Disaster, page 1
The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Copyright © 2021 by James Patterson
Illustrations by Richard Watson
Cover art by Ellie O’Shea. Cover design by Tracy Shaw.
Cover copyright © 2022 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.
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Originally published in Great Britain in 2021 by Penguin Random House UK
First US Edition: April 2022
JIMMY Patterson Books is an imprint of Little, Brown and Company, a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The Little, Brown name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The JIMMY Patterson Books® name and logo are trademarks of JBP Business, LLC.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Patterson, James, 1947- author. | Butler, Steven, author. | Watson, Richard, 1980- illustrator. Title: Dinosaur disaster / James Patterson ; with Steven Butler ; illustrated by Richard Watson.
Description: New York : Little, Brown and Company, 2022. | Series: Dog diaries | “A middle school story” | Audience: Ages 7-12 |
Summary: Junior leads his pack of dog friends on a sneaky mission into a museum to steal dinosaur bones for Lola’s midnight birthday feast.
Identifiers: LCCN 2021039589 | ISBN 9780316334631 | ISBN 9780316334730 (ebook)
Subjects: CYAC: Dogs—Fiction. | Diaries—Fiction. | LCGFT: Animal fiction. | Humorous fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.P27653 Di 2022 | DDC [Fic]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021039589
ISBNs: 978-0-316-33463-1 (paper over board), 978-0-316-33473-0 (ebook)
E3-20220325-JV-NF-ORI
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Last Sunday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Read on for Fun Activities!
About the Authors
Jimmy Patterson Books for Young Readers by James Patterson
Praise for James Patterson
To Teddy and Ralphy
—S.B.
OH BOY! OH BOY! OH BOY!
You’ve picked up this book in your five-fingery-digits at just the right moment, my person-pal. You must have been practicing really hard to improve your sniff-a-licious senses and your houndy honing skills, huh!?!
If you’ve nosed your way through my DOG DIARIES in the past, HELLO AGAIN! It’s BRILLIANT to see you’re back for more fun!
And if you haven’t, my name’s JUNIOR. JUNIOR CATCH-A-DOGGY-BONE! But we don’t have time for proper introductions and courteous butt-sniffs right now… Oh, don’t worry your human-heart… there’ll be plenty of time for all that snuggly cuddle-umpcious stuff in a little while, but first, I have to tell you about the latest news, my furless friend! It’s something so EXCITING… so unbelievably BARKTASTIC… my tail has been wagging for days. IT WON’T STOP!
Okay… okay… if I’m going to do this and let you know how TERRIFIC my news is, I need to set the scene properly.
First things first. Close your eyes.
Oh no, wait… scratch that… if you close your person-peepers you won’t be able to read my MUTT-MANUAL. Maybe just squint your eyes a little? Yeah, that ought to do it…
Now, this may sound a little crazy, but I want you to play make-believe with me. It’ll be worth it; I cross my houndy-heart!
Let’s cast our minds back into the far distant reaches of the past, my person-pal… just imagine it!
No, further than that!
I think we’ve arrived, my person-pal. We have successfully cast our imaginations all the way back to the very beginning of Hills Village.
Picture this…
We’re in a dark, overgrown forest filled with amazing things to sniff and taste and chew. Everywhere we look there are GIGANTIC prehistoric sticks that make us drool like a Shih Tzu at snack time. Stickiest-sticks like those would take the likes of you and me a whole week to gnaw through, so we can’t get distracted now.
There are strange and spine-jangling noises all around us and the only light is coming from a gap in the bushes up ahead. Let’s sneak over a take a peek…
Now, brace yourself, my furless friend. We’re about to peer through the gap in the undergrowth and what you’re going to see will have you pooping your person-pants with shock and surprise if you’re not prepared.
Are you ready?
Okay, cue the big dramatic music. You know, the type with lots of drums… SUPER BOOMY ONES…
DUM-DA-DA-DUM-DUM-DA-DUUMMM!!!!
Here goes…
AGGGGGHHHHH! Have you ever seen anything so MUTT-NIFICENT in your life?! We’ve arrived in the JAW-RASSIC period!
And we’re in luck, my person-pal. If you want to see more, all you have to do is use your imaginary binoculars. Let’s take a closer look at the beasts of our epic expedition. And don’t worry, they don’t call me “GENIUS JUNIOR: THE EXPLORER-DOG EXTRAORDINAIRE” for nothing, you know?
Well… umm… nobody actually calls me that… but I’m an expert on all these weird and wild dino-roars, I swear!
C’mon, I’ll teach you everything I’ve just made up I know…
Behold! The toothy TERRIER-SAURUS REX. It’s the fiercest predator of chew toys in the valley and is the nastiest nipper too.
Here, you can see the long-necked BRONTO-PAW-RUS. Able to snaffle snacks from even the highest shelves in their pet human’s cave-kennels.
Over by that volcano, you can see the TREAT-CERATOPS. The vacuum cleaner of the Jaw-rassic plains! It can sniff out even the tiniest crumbs of ancient Doggo-Drops or Crunchy-Lumps in the long grass, leaving nothing for the other dino-roars to enjoy.
The skies overhead are filled with loop-the-looping TONGUE-Y-DACTYLS, the lickers of the prehistoric world. No cave-human’s face is safe from a ferocious, waggy-winged licking when these overexcited critters swoop down.
Then… over by the Triassic Trash Cans you can see my favorite of them all. THE RACCOON-O-DON! I tell ya, my person-pal, I could bark my barkiest bark at these sneaky little dino-dumpster-divers until my snout turns blue and my whiskers explode into flames! They’re just so…
HUH?!?! What’s that?
Suddenly, just as we’re enjoying the AMAZING view and thinking about chasing a few raccoon-o-dons, the music gets louder and more drum-tastic and then… DUM-DA-DA-DUMMM… the ground beneath us begins to quake.
Before we know it, the dino-roars scamper in every direction, thundering all around us back to their cave-kennels, as lava explodes from the distant mountains! It’s time to get out of here, my furless friend!
AGH! It looks like I may have got a little overexcited on my DINO-DAYDREAM! We’ll be squished under a dino-paw in seconds if we’re not sizzled into bow-wow buns first!
Quick, Junior! Think us both back to our own time again! Hurry, hurry!
Don’t worry, my person-pal, I can do this. I can fast-forward us to the HILLS VILLAGE of today, filled with tummy rubs, Triple-Cheesy-Nacho-Nosher burgers, and hugs with my best-best-BESTEST pet human, Ruff!
KA-BOOM! We made it! Run and hide someplace safe… anywhere! In the laundry pile! In the Rainy Poop Room and lock the door! Under the bed where you keep your secret stash of midnight snacks!
Phew! Thrilling as that was, my person-pal, I certainly am glad to be back in the warm confines of my sniff-a-licious home. Safe from snarling teeth and deadly dino-claws…
HA HA! What am I saying? I know we were only playing make-believe, really, but there’s a super IM-PAW-TANT reason I wanted to show you all those magnificent mutt-monsters from yester-yap. I’ll explain it all to you, I promise, but just before I do, I simply have to let out a few BARKY-BARKS. I’ve held it together since you opened this book, but I just can’t resist any longer. It feels so good to know you’re reading it, my furless friend!
As I was saying earlier, when you picked up my FABULOUS mutt-manual, if you’ve read any of my Dog Diaries before you’ll know all about the WONDERFUL human family I live with in our cozy kennel. But, if you haven’t, there’s no time like the present to introduce you to my person-pack.
Here they are!!!
Just look at their happy smiling faces… well… all except Jawjaw… but she’s not the person I want you to meet the most.
I can’t wait to introduce my very own pet human! My bedtime buddy! My scratchy, tummy-tickling cuddle companion. The BEST KID in the whole of Hills Village… no, the WORLD… no, THE UNIVERSE!
RUFF!
Even the sound of his name makes my tail go crazy! I mean it, my furless friend ! At 4 p.m. when Ruff gets home from school every day, I can’t help planting a zillion licks on his FANTASTIC face (Ha ha! Maybe one of my far-off ancestors was a tongue-y-dactyl?) and performing the Happy Dance!
Okay, Junior, calm down! Breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… breathe out.
So, there we have it, my furless friend. Now you’ve met Ruff and the Catch-A-Doggy-Bone pack, none of us are strangers and I think you’re ready for me to explain just why I took you on an imaginary journey back to the Jaw-rassic period to investigate the dino-roars of old…
You see… well… umm… I saw one!
Just a few days ago, right here in Hills Village!
Now, wait a second. I know what you’re thinking. You’re getting ready to throw this book out the window, screaming…
And you’d probably be right if it weren’t for one thing… I really did see a dino-roar thundering along the street, and… SO DID RUFF AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF MY BUDDIES AT THE DOG PARK! I wasn’t the only one, so I can’t be making it up, right?
I bet you’re at least a little intrigued now, aren’t you?
I KNEW YOU WOULD BE!
Would you like me to tell you what happened? Ha ha! What a stupid question… of course, you would!
Well, it all started last Sunday…
Last Sunday
10:51 a.m.
Sigh. It was a good day, my person-pal. It’s the middle of summer and Ruff is home from school all the time! Can you imagine how WONDERFUL that is?
I’d already had a yum-a-lumptious breakfast of my favorite dogfood, Meaty-Giblet-Jumble-Chum, while Ruff, Mom-Lady, and Jawjaw had their wifflies with moo-poo syrup. Ha! Human food is so weird!
Anyway, we’d enjoyed a deliciously lazy morning. I had already snuffled around the backyard and had my usual poop and pee. I’d done some very important barking at joggers out on the front sidewalk, and then I walked Ruff to the Dandy-Dog store to pick up some extra weekend treats and a new chew toy (I had been a particularly GOOD BOY that week. Agh! I love those two words!). Now we were in the dog park along with my best pooch-pals on the planet.
I tell ya, my furless friend… I love that pack of mangy mutts from the tip of my snout to the end of my twitchy tail. Each and every one of ’em!
We’ve been through a WHOLE LOT OF CRAZY CHAOS together since we all escaped from pooch prison at HILLS VILLAGE DOG SHELTER and found happy human families to live with… We’ve dealt with CANINE CRIMINALS, dastardly DOG SHOWS, stolen TREASURED TOYS, the HOWLY WIENER, a man named SAINT LICK who visits your kennel during a human holiday called CRISP-MOUTH, speeding hot tubs hurtling downhill, VEGETARIAN vacations, MONSTERS terrier-izing the neighborhood… and that’s only a fraction of the weird stuff that’s happened to us lately!
So, you can imagine we were pretty certain there were no more surprises coming our way. How could anything beat the weirdness we’d already seen?
That morning, as Ruff was chatting to the other pet humans and we were sunning ourselves snoozily near the jungle gym, we felt sure that absolutely nothing bonkers was coming our way. Lola’s birthday was coming up on Thursday and we were happily making plans for the big day…
I was so excited, my person-pal. I’d been secretly planning WAY in advance and had already found Lola the most AMAZING birthday gift EVER!
I mean it! This one was a real winner. Even better than the muddy stick I found for her last year, and that’s saying something!
You see, occasionally… DON’T TELL MOM-LADY… I sneak out through the loose board in the backyard fence and have a little snoop around town all by myself.
What?! Even the goodest of the GOOD BOYS has to have some time to himself every now and again. Feel the wind beneath his paws and… umm… is that what you furless folk say? You know what I mean… Anyway, on my last solo expedition around Hills Village, I was minding my own business and decided to go for a snuffle through the junkyard.
It’s a favorite spot of mine. Somewhere I can unwind and explore a few new smells, or maybe chew on the arms of an abandoned comfy squishy thing… whatever takes my fancy.
So, I had just turned the corner by the mountain of rusty tin cans, when I spotted it!
The best-BEST-BESTEST birthday present for Lola!
It was sitting there on an old truck tire, going crusty in the sunshine, and I knew she’d LOVE it! It was a dog’s dream!
There isn’t a mutt in the whole world who doesn’t love the exotic aroma of a lost sock. It tastes and smells of all the delicious places it has been and is just as fascinating to us as a good book is to you human-types.
SSSSSHHHH! Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve had it stashed under Ruff’s bed ever since I found it. I can’t wait to give it to my stinky little friend on her special day!
But… I know what you’ll be thinking now, my furless friend. You’re still wondering about that dino-roar I mentioned, aren’t you? You’re scratching your human-head trying to figure out why I’m talking about making plans for Lola’s party when I’ve teased you with the arrival of a prehistoric pooch-a-saurus in Hills Village.
Well, hold on to your haunches, because this is the point where our peaceful day suddenly gets very exciting…
10:58 a.m.
We were still all yapping and yowling over what would be the best way to celebrate our friend’s special day when the little birthday-pooch sat up from her snoozing and grunted.
She turned to us looking more snout-sniffingly serious than I’d ever seen Lola look before.
All of us stuck our noses in the air and sniffed the breeze curiously.
At first I only caught the whiff of the snack cart selling human food and the tingly scent of a kid eating potato chips on a bench, but then… once my dog senses had sifted through all the sniff-a-licious nearby smells… oh MY!
I swear to you, my person-pal, it was like nothing I’d ever smelled in my entire life… and I’ve sniffed and snuffled A LOT of interesting and scrum-a-lumptious things in the past.
Our pet humans didn’t notice, of course, but in a few moments, every dog from the jungle gym to the duck pond had their snout in the air and was savoring the unfamiliar aroma drifting our way.
IT WAS INCREDIBLE!
I’m amazed we didn’t wash ourselves clean out of the park with the all the drooling going on. The smell was completely WONDERFUL and it was getting stronger!
Whatever was giving off this INCREDIBLE perfume was getting closer and, as it did, my nose was picking up more and more audacious little aromas. There was smoke, and salt, and cut grass, and poop, and dry leaves, aaaaaannnndddd…
Lola yelped so loudly I thought her little round head was about to rocket off her shoulders!
Before anyone had time to growl or bark a warning, an ENORMOUS creature raced into view from behind the trees at the edge of the park.
Its LOOOOONNNNNGGGGG neck arched up high into the air and at the end of it, a bulbous skull glowered scarily.
While the rest of my pooch-pals frantically scampered to the safety of the trash cans, I was rooted to the spot in fear and awe. I recognized the beast the second I saw it.
Don’t forget I know ALL about this stuff, my person-pal. I’ve spent hours and hours on the comfy squishy thing with Ruff watching moving pictures, and there was no mistaking it…
This monster looming into view was a dino-roar! A BRONTO-PAW-RUS, if I’ve got my dino-roars right. But it was… well… it was… a lot skinnier than I imaged it would be. Maybe it was sick? Or hungry? Or both?
Huh… on the picture box, the bronto-paw-ruses in the moving pictures looked a lot more scaly and gray-greenish. This one seemed way more gristly and bony… and flat.
