Just One Reason, page 17
Sam played commentator, adding in voice-overs for the waves as well as the surfers until finally Terri told she had to stop ’cause her cheeks hurt from laughing. She’d used the same voice Terri had called her sexy gravelly voice to make it funny and was pleased when it worked.
“Do you want to be out there surfing?”
Sam shook her head. “I’m happy right here. Maybe too happy.”
“Hmm. Me too.” Terri shifted closer to Sam and soon their shoulders bumped together. She rested her hand on Sam’s knee and closed her eyes. “This is even better. I could almost fall asleep here.”
Sam felt sleepy too, lulled as much by the sun and the waves as by the feel of Terri’s body close. She breathed her in, savoring her scent and how Terri seemed to melt against her. “I can’t remember when I’ve felt this relaxed.”
“I was thinking the same thing. Maybe let’s not think about it too hard,” Terri said.
Sam sighed. “What do you usually do on your days off?”
“Work.”
Sam laughed, but Terri gave her a look that made her realize she was serious. “Okay, let me try that again. When you’re stuck in the hospital, what do you wish you could be doing instead? What’s a hobby you’d like to have?”
“Does hot sex count as a hobby?”
“I love that you have a one-track mind, but I’m trying to get to know you here.” When Terri didn’t volunteer more, Sam said, “I like you. And I know we aren’t dating, but I want to know what makes the famous Terri Anderson tick. Why’d you want to be a doctor?”
“I like taking care of people.” Terri crossed her ankles. “Figuring out what’s wrong and then fixing it… I love getting a diagnosis.”
“The puzzle part of medicine,” Sam said. She liked that part too. It wasn’t enough, but she could understand at least.
“Exactly. And I love setting up a treatment plan and following up to see if it worked. I like all of it.”
“So you always knew this was what you wanted to be? No turning point that pushed you into it?”
“Not really.” Terri seemed to focus on the surfers, but Sam got the impression that her thoughts were far from the water. A long moment passed and when she looked back at Terri, she noticed tears welled in her eyes. Before they could fall, Terri swiped them away.
Sam touched her arm. “I’m sorry if I asked the wrong thing.”
Terri shook her head. “It’s fine. It’s nothing really… And I’m sorry for getting all teary-eyed. For the record, I’m not usually a crier.”
“You don’t have to apologize. But whatever it is, it probably isn’t nothing.”
A tear slipped down Terri’s cheek, but she didn’t try to swipe it this time. She only stared out at the water. “All these years later and one little thing can pull me back into that car. Suddenly I’m hearing metal scraping metal, tires screeching…” She paused for a long moment. “I was seventeen. And drunk. I hit someone. Almost killed him.”
“Oh shit. I’m sorry. That’s awful.” Sam reached over and set her hand on Terri’s. Terri didn’t go on, but she didn’t pull her hand away from Sam’s either. She went back to watching the waves and Sam followed her gaze.
The waves were gorgeous, perfect curls of white against a deep blue. One after the other came and went, but Sam had no desire to be surfing. More than ever, she wanted to be exactly where she was.
“My little sister was at a friend’s house,” Terri said quietly. “A sleepover. She called me to come pick her up ’cause she changed her mind about staying the night. But I’d been drinking.”
“You started drinking young.”
“I started drinking way before then. For a while that was my hobby.” Terri’s tight-lipped smile tugged at Sam’s heart. The pain was obvious.
She took a deep breath and started again. “I went to pick her up. Knowing I shouldn’t. On the way home, I got off on the wrong exit. I think maybe I’d blacked out for a minute. Went to pull a U-turn and didn’t see anyone coming until it was too late. He was on a motorcycle…
“I can still see his body on the pavement. His leg was jackknifed and he wasn’t moving. I took one look at him and was sick.” Terri squeezed her eyes shut as if to clear the image. “Thank God he had a helmet. Probably would have died otherwise.”
“If that happened to me, I think I’d give up drinking too,” Sam said.
“Well, I did for a few years, but I picked it back up again. Guess you could say it was more of a bad habit than a hobby.” She paused. “It took a few more close calls and lots of bad decisions for me to realize I can’t drink. But that night, the accident, all of it, that’s when I decided I wanted to go to med school. I wanted to save lives, not end them.”
“You didn’t end anyone’s life.”
“No. But it was close. And my kid sister was in the back seat. What if it’d been a truck I’d hit? What if the guy hadn’t been wearing a helmet?”
“You must have been so scared.”
“I was. I couldn’t stop shaking.”
Sam didn’t press her to go on or ask anything more. They sat together, watching the waves, and then Terri slowly pulled her hand away from Sam’s. She scooped up a handful of sand and let it slip through her fingers.
“I hated myself for a long time after that. For the accident, for drinking too much…”
“But it was an accident,” Sam said. “You can’t still beat yourself up about it. And because of it you became an amazing doctor. How many lives have you saved? I’ve heard the stories from Reed, from Weiss, from Shellhammer. You can ease up a little on yourself, you know.”
“You don’t need to try and make me feel better. It is what it is.” Terri sighed. “Maybe we should go back to talking about hobbies.”
“You really want to talk about hobbies or you want to change the conversation back to sex?” Sam joked.
“Definitely sex.” Terri bumped against Sam’s shoulder. “Thank you for bringing it back to that.”
“You’re welcome,” Sam grinned.
“You’re easy to talk to.”
“So are you,” Sam returned.
“I know I brought all that stuff up, but I don’t want today to be a therapy session. And I’d rather we do more than talk about sex.”
“That’s fair. Maybe we should go somewhere with a better view?”
“I’d like that.” But Terri didn’t move to get up. “This still isn’t a date, you know. When we get back to your place, I’m really hoping you aren’t going to be all tender and sweet or anything because of what I told you.”
Sam considered her response. In truth, she did feel a certain new tenderness towards Terri, but that didn’t change what she wanted to do. If anything the closeness of the past hour only made her desires stronger.
“So I’m pretty sure you’re asking me to fuck you until you can’t stand up. Is that right, Dr. Anderson? I’m not sure if that’s entirely appropriate considering three weeks ago I was your resident but—”
“Fuck you.” Terri smiled. “And yes.”
Chapter Twenty
As soon as they got settled in the car for the ride back, Terri reached for Sam’s hand and placed it on her leg. She’d held back long enough, and after their conversation on the beach, she wanted to feel Sam close. “That’s better.”
“Holding hands is off limits, but holding your leg isn’t?”
“Right.”
“Why?”
Terri considered her answer. “Because this is about sex.”
“Then what’s holding hands about?”
“Dating.”
“Ah.” Sam shifted her hand up a few inches. Instead of being above Terri’s knee, her grip had quickly moved to the inside of her thigh. “I still want both.”
“You’ll get used to the disappointment.”
Sam pulled her hand back to the steering wheel when they turned onto the highway. The frustration on her face was clear, but she played it off paying attention to the road.
“Will I distract you if I put my hand here?” Terri asked, setting her hand on Sam’s thigh.
Sam shrugged. Terri shifted closer. “You know there are lots of reasons that only having sex is better than us dating.”
“It doesn’t have to be one or the other. We could have an open relationship.”
“You know my answer.” Terri slid her hand closer to Sam’s groin. “But what if I tell you that when we get back to your bedroom, no part of me is off limits? You asked me earlier what I wanted. I want you to have your way with me. And I like it when you make it hurt a little.”
Terri stroked her hand down to Sam’s knee and then slowly made her way up to her groin again. Sam glanced at her hand when she fingered the top button of her pants.
“You do realize how hard you’re making it for me to focus on driving, right?”
“I’m not worried.” Terri traced down the center seam. “I know how much you want to get me in your bed.”
“Fuck.” Sam’s forearm muscles were taut, her grip tight on the steering wheel. She passed a truck and then increased their speed, her eyes staying firmly on the road. “I think you should keep your hands to yourself until we get home.”
Terri pulled her hand away and entwined her fingers in her lap. “What should I do with my hands then?”
“Exactly what I tell you to do.”
Terri forced herself to look out the window. Already she was wet and she wanted Sam’s hands on her. But the conviction in Sam’s voice made her certain she wouldn’t be disappointed later.
The drive home took too long, but they finally pulled into the garage and Sam cut the engine. “So what do you think of my grandma’s ride?”
“I still can’t believe you have an Aston Martin.”
“Don’t be too impressed. It’s in the shop more than it’s on the road.”
“And yet you still don’t know what it’s worth?”
“The mechanic—Otto—could tell me. He babies this car. Polishes it up for fun. I’m sure he knows how much it’d go for.” Sam swept a finger over the dash. No dust. “If he had the money, he’d buy it.”
Terri guessed that number was two hundred thousand at least. The words “oblivious” and “rich kid” tumbled round in her head. But that wasn’t news. Sam had grown up an only child with millionaires for grandparents. She had lawyer parents, an elite boarding school education, and spent carefree summers on the beach. Of course money wasn’t something she thought of in the way most people did—hell, she was throwing away forty-one million dollars. But what bothered Terri wasn’t that she had no sense of how privileged she was, but that she didn’t understand the responsibility that came with it. From out of nowhere, she was pissed all over again.
Sam went around to open her door, but Terri got out before she could. “Thanks, but I don’t need a gentleman at the moment.”
Sam caught her hand as she started past. “What’s wrong?”
“You’re so damn privileged, and you don’t even see it.”
“Privileged? Okay.” Sam’s jaw clenched. “What else?”
“Us dating is a terrible idea. I’m at the hospital sixty hours a week and you know how often I’m on call. I can’t drop everything and drive three hours to spend the weekend with you. And honestly it pisses me off that you’d even ask. You’re the one who left.”
“I’d come to you. I know how much you work—”
“No way. I wouldn’t let you drive up. You chose this world. And if you’re doing this—deciding to be a photographer—I’m not getting in your way. I’m not going to be something that sucks up all of your time.” Terri hated that they were fighting again. And that she couldn’t seem to stop. All over again it was her fault. “You know what really sucks? I do want to date you. You’re perfect in so many damn ways.”
“Gee, thanks.”
Terri pressed on despite Sam’s sarcastic tone. “You go out of your way for people you hardly know. You do kind things all the time that get you nothing in return. I’ve seen it. And you honestly want to help people. That’s what makes you a good doctor.”
“But I don’t want that life.”
“You could do both, Sam, and you know it. Work at your grandfather’s practice a few days a week and take pictures the rest of the time. Forty-one million dollars. Think about how many people you could help with that. What charities would you give it to? Not some homophobic church foundation, right?”
“You don’t know the whole story.”
“Then tell me the whole story. Tell me what I don’t know. Cause you don’t make sense. Who throws away forty-one million dollars?”
“Can you forget about the money? Why is it so important to you anyway?”
Terri shook her head. She didn’t want to answer given Sam’s judgmental tone, but she couldn’t let it go. “I’ve been broke most of my life, Sam. I have money now but only because I work my damn ass off for it. People who don’t actually care about money—who would throw it away—are people who’ve never had to worry about it. I spent my childhood worrying that there wouldn’t be enough money to buy groceries, that we’d be kicked out of the shitty apartment we lived in because we couldn’t pay rent. And I couldn’t do anything about it. You have no fucking clue.”
“I’m sorry you went through that. And I’m sorry I suggested you were all about the money.” Sam took a deep breath. “I’m also sorry I disappointed you. But I’m tired of trying to make everyone else happy. Doing the things everyone else wants me to do. I can’t anymore. We need to drop this. We’re not going to see eye to eye.”
“Fine.” Terri crossed her arms. Not only had she lost her temper again—which she’d promised herself she wouldn’t do—she’d ruined their chances for a nice afternoon.
“Fine? That’s it?”
“What else do you want me to say?”
Sam held her gaze. “God, you drive me crazy.”
“Well, the feeling’s mutual.”
Sam stepped forward and pressed into Terri’s lips. The kiss took away Terri’s breath and all the arguments she was formulating against leaving before anything happened. Sam pressed against her, pushing Terri against the car. She moved down her neck, kisses trailing to her collarbones and then to her chest. Damn, what Sam could do to her nipples…
Terri couldn’t keep track of Sam’s lips, let alone her hands, and the realization that Sam was giving her a hickey came about two seconds too late. She pushed away enough to level her gaze on Sam. “You tried to give me a hickey, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t just try.” Sam brushed the spot on Terri’s neck where her lips had been. “I’ve never wanted to leave a mark, but I guess there’s always a first time.”
A thrill raced through Terri. She wanted to look in a mirror to see it for herself. Clearly she was too turned on to think straight. “I’m too old to be explaining hickeys.”
“Then don’t explain it. Let them wonder who had you.”
Sam pressed into her again. This time the strength in her arms was too much to fight. Terri didn’t want to resist anyway. She only wanted to give in. As Sam moved a leg between hers, expressing her desire in no uncertain terms and pushing up Terri’s skirt, she had to grab hold of the car’s door handle. Her legs were shaky and she wanted to suggest a bed, but she couldn’t wait another minute.
Sam’s kiss crushed her lips. She opened up and Sam made a low sound in her throat that only turned her on more. “I want to feel you,” she managed, slipping her hands under Sam’s shirt.
Beyond her sculpted shoulders and back, it was Sam’s abs that anyone would pay good money to touch. Defined was an understatement. As she fought with Sam’s T-shirt, she realized Sam had pushed her skirt up to expose her underwear. She held her breath as Sam grazed her hand over the silk. A second later she’d pushed the crotch to the side and plunged her fingers in.
“Fuck.” Terri gave up trying to get under Sam’s shirt. She had to hold on to Sam to keep her balance. But God did it feel good.
“I love that you’re already wet for me,” Sam murmured.
Every time Sam rocked into her, Terri wanted more. She wanted another finger, her whole hand even, and she wanted her deep. She had to bite her tongue to hold back her moans, leaning against Sam and silently begging her not to stop. How many fingers Sam had inside she couldn’t tell, but the feeling of being filled was everything she wanted. The tenderness she’d felt that morning was gone. Now her body only wanted to be used, taking any pleasure Sam wanted to give her. She’d be sore later but she wanted that too.
“More.”
Sam nipped her neck as she pulled back. “Please?”
Terri groaned. “Please.”
Sam bore in hard. Terri doubted she’d still be on her feet if Sam’s arm wasn’t wrapped around her waist and she wasn’t leaning against the car. She closed her eyes. The orgasm was building, blinding her. If she could only hold it back a little longer…
Sam plunged another finger inside, spreading her. Pain mixed with pleasure, and she sank her teeth into Sam’s shoulder.
“You like that?” Sam thrust faster when Terri managed a nod.
Sam was rubbing her clit now too. Maybe she was using her thumb? Terri couldn’t keep track. All she knew was that she didn’t want Sam to stop. One more finger inside and she’d come. “More, please.”
“You can’t take my whole hand. You’re too tight.”
Terri clenched her teeth. She’d never been fisted. Never thought she could take it and never wanted it. But now she did. “Try anyway.”
“No. I want to be able to play with you more later. I want you bent over my bed.”
The thought of Sam fucking her from behind pushed Terri over the edge. Sam could have her any way she wanted. Knowing there was no point resisting the orgasm Sam would get out of her, she stopped fighting and sank down on Sam’s hand. But Sam didn’t let up. If anything, she pushed her further. Riding her hard until she gushed, Terri finally let out all the sounds she’d held back.
Sam held her through the climax with fingers still buried deep. She kissed Terri’s cheek and whispered, “You know the neighbors are gonna wonder what I do in my garage.”
