Pretty Nightmare (Creeping Beautiful Book 2), page 18
She’s still a little kid in some ways. Not many. But this is one of them.
Even though we’ve only been back in Louisiana for a few months we’re locals here. The donut people remember me from days gone by when this was Indie sitting next to me instead of Maggie.
I see all the questions in their eyes. They want to ask who this girl is. This girl who’s just like the other one I used to bring in here.
I don’t think they ever assumed Indie was my daughter. We’re too close in age. But they probably thought she was my sister.
At any rate, all this careful planning goes completely unnoticed when we arrive back at Old Home. We catch a glimpse of McKay working on something in the back of the shed where he keeps his tools now, suited up in one of those welder suits that make me sweat just thinking about the heat coming from the torch in his hand. And Indie isn’t around.
Donovan left last night to… I dunno. Whatever the fuck he does when he leaves. So he was never part of the return-home plan.
But neither McKay nor Indie bother to greet us as we cautiously get out of the truck and look around, ready to tell all the lies.
We shrug and ease back into our normal routine. “Go change,” I tell her. “And put the donuts in the kitchen. I’ll go see what McKay’s doing.”
She skips off without comment. Then I remember the money in her purse, but she’s already too far away to call out instructions on that regard. So I let it go and turn towards the shed.
I find McKay in the back of the huge outbuilding we call the shed, where we saw him when we pulled up, totally engrossed in his project. Which is some kind of metal sculpture.
It takes him almost a whole minute to notice me, which is disappointing in a couple of ways. But I don’t want to think about that shit right now.
Finally, he sees me and he dials the torch down and lifts the faceplate of his welding helmet up to smile. “You’re back.”
“Yup.” I keep it simple, unsure if he knew we left in the middle of the night or not. It was his night to watch Indie, so she slept in his bed last night. And I know he likes those nights. Not that I suspect they are getting up to any funny business. It was McKay’s idea to keep things platonic with Indie until we sort out whatever the fuck it is we’re doing with her.
“How was church?” He asks this same question every time Maggie and I come home. Hell, he asked this same question every time Indie and I came home too.
I let that sink in for a moment. The entirety of it. The length of time that we’ve been doing this.
Has there ever been a time when we weren’t in charge of the care and feeding of a little girl?
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - McKAY
I put my welding helmet aside and take off my gloves. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Why’s that?” Adam leans against a long wooden workbench, folding his arms across his chest. He seems to be in a good mood.
“Because I wanted to apologize. About the conversation we had in the truck last night.”
Adam just shrugs. “She’s mine, McKay.”
“I know,” I say simply. “I get it.”
“Look, I’m sorry too.”
“What are you sorry about?”
“Comparing Indie to Maggie. She’s not your daughter. It’s not even close to the same thing.”
I want to agree with him, but I can’t. Not really. Because this is the reason I never wanted this kind of relationship with Indie.
Well, that’s a lie right there. I have wanted it. “She’s just…” But I throw up my hands. “I dunno. I do love her like that. I’m not gonna lie. But it does feel wrong. And you saying it so plainly…” I sigh.
Adam uncrosses his arms and walks over to me. We stand, eye to eye, just a few inches apart. “It’s all in your head, McKay.” He taps me on the head while he says this. “It’s a construct.”
“Yeah. I get it. There is no blood relation between us. At least I don’t think so.”
Adam chuckles.
“It’s not funny. Maybe there is? We could be brothers. We’d never know, Adam. They hide that shit from us.”
“I think Donovan would know. And he would tell us that. Besides, I’m sure my father knew. We’re not related. We look alike, but you are the spitting image of your brothers and father.”
“Were,” I correct him.
“Yeah.” His guard drops down a few notches. Then he takes a deep breath. “Did you ever regret leaving home, McKay? Is that why you were never interested in me?”
I think about this, but don’t say anything.
Adam’s eyes search mine. “I mean, I would understand if this was the case. If your father had come to my house and paid my father to take me away, I’d probably resent you too.”
“I don’t resent you, Adam. It’s not that.”
His eyebrows go up. “But it is something?”
“I’m just… into girls. Ya know?”
“Right. Indie.”
“Yeah. Among others.”
“You have others right now?”
“No.”
He nods his head a little. “You want others? Besides Indie?”
“Listen,” I say. “I love you. We can do this. But I don’t know if this…” I pan my hands wide. “If this is all there is, ya know? I can’t say that for certain.”
“So you see yourself walking away at some point?”
I laugh at this. “Adam, if I could walk away from you, I’d have done it over a decade ago. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Then what are you saying? Yesterday was a mistake?”
“We kissed. So what? It’s not a big deal.”
He frowns. Breathes. Takes his time. “It’s a big deal to me, Core. And I’m gonna say something right now and you can do whatever you want with it. OK?”
I’m stuck on the way he used my real name. It echoes in my head. I can count on one hand the number of times he’s called me Core without saying McKay at the end.
“OK?” he asks again.
“I’m listening.”
“I’m sorry I left. I knew it was a mistake on day one. But I was afraid.”
“Of Indie?”
He nods and presses his lips together in a tight line. “She has never attacked you. It’s not as easy to get over as you think. So I just… poured myself into my work. And while I was doing that I had to admit that somewhere along the way, I turned into my fucking father. I bought a girl. And I swore I’d never do that. I swore I’d break this fucking cycle. And maybe I could talk myself into believing that before I left with Maggie. But now I have two girls, Core. And a packet filled with secrets I’m not sure I really want to know about. Maggie and I didn’t go to church. I woke her up in the middle of the night so she could help me dig up the grave of my dead brother.”
“What?” My heart is beating so fast as I process this. “I thought we were talking about kissing?”
He laughs, smiles. His eyes brighten. “Trust me, I’d much rather be talking about kissing.”
“What the hell—OK.” I grab my hair and shake my head. “What the fuck?”
“This is my point.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m losing, McKay. I always find a way to justify the means to the end. And it’s not gonna stop. Not unless I do something new. Not unless I break free of this cycle I’m part of. And you…” He sighs. “You have always been my something new. You’re my way out. I can’t explain that, but I know it. I have known it since the first moment I saw you at your family compound up in Alaska. I wanted you. I fucking love you. You, Core.” He shakes his head. “You are all there is for me. And I know that’s not a good enough reason for you to stick it out and see where this goes, and what I’m doing to you right now is borderline emotional blackmail. I have no right to ask you to help me, but I’m gonna ask you to do it anyway.”
I open my mouth to reply, but he puts up a hand.
“Hold on. I’m not quite done yet. I was wrong to take Maggie. I was wrong not to come home. I was wrong to leave you all alone. Especially since I wasn’t alone. It was selfish, and childish, and it was all done in fear. Taking Maggie was easy, Core.” He swallows. Hard. “That’s the real Adam, right there. The real Adam takes things. The real Adam takes little kids to use for his own purposes. Just like his father.” He pauses, his eyes locked with mine. “And I don’t want to be that Adam anymore. I don’t—”
I reach up and hold his face in my hands, startling him into silence. I can practically feel his heart beating inside his chest as I stare into his blue eyes.
And then I push him backwards until he bumps up against my workbench and can’t get away from me. “Listen to me. And I mean really listen to me. You are not your father.”
“I am, McKay. I’m doing it, ya know? I’m doing it just like they planned. And all this time I thought I was breaking free. But look at me—really look at me—and look around you, McKay. You have been trapped in this fucking life since you were nine. I’ve had a hold of Donovan since he was fifteen.”
“Please. Donovan does whatever he wants. You didn’t force him to stay here.”
“You don’t think so? Yeah, he walks away. But he always comes back, doesn’t he? Why do you think he comes back?”
“Because of Indie.”
“Huh. The same reason you stay too. How convenient.”
“It’s not just Indie,” I say. “It’s all of us. We built something here—”
“We built the Company here. We are the next generation of the Company. We broke it. And then we all built it back up. Even you. None of us got out. We’re all still here. Keeping it going. And did you ever wonder if this is just how it was supposed to be? I mean, maybe in thirty years our grandkids take us out. They rebel too, thinking they can change things. But they won’t. And we didn’t. We just reinvented it, McKay. That’s all.”
“Are you done now?”
He nods.
“Good.” I lean forward and erase the few inches that separate us. And I kiss him.
It’s a slow kiss this time, softer than the one we shared yesterday. His mouth opens and my tongue slips inside. His hand comes up behind my neck to keep me from pulling away.
But I’m not pulling away.
I reach down, grab his shirt, and rip it open.
He pulls back and laughs when the buttons go flying. “What the fuck—” But my hand is on his chest and he stops abruptly.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I say, letting my hand slide down over his hard abs. He looks down at it like he can’t believe this is happening. And I yank his belt open, pop the button on his pants, and slip it inside. His cock is growing when I grab it. It fills up my palm.
His eyes come up to meet mine, lots of questions in those eyes. “I thought you liked girls.”
“I do. But I like you too.”
“Are you sure, McKay? Because—”
“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be doing it, Adam.” I pull his cock out and start slowly jerking him off, my hand sliding up and down his shaft.
“Fuck,” he says, leaning against the workbench. Placing both hands flat on the surface like he needs to hold himself up.
I manage a crooked smile. “Don’t think too hard.”
“I think that was supposed to be my line.”
“Yeah, well, if I waited for you, it might take twenty-five more years before we got this far.”
His smile falls a little. “I don’t want to pressure you—”
“Shut up, Adam.”
“Right.”
I take a step forward until my chest is right up against his, my hand still jerking on his dick. He reaches for me, but I shake my head and stare into his eyes. “Don’t. This is all you right now. Just enjoy it.”
His eyelids get heavy and start to close. But then he opens them again.
“Close them. I don’t mind.”
I can tell he’s confused. Or conflicted, maybe.
“Don’t worry. It’s not gonna change nothing.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of. That I’ll get this one little taste and then you’ll change your mind.”
“You wanna stop now? And never know?”
He shakes his head. “No.”
I lean in and kiss him again—“Good”—and whisper past his lips. “Then just close your eyes and let me handle things for once.” I keep kissing him, grinding my hips against his as I move my hand up and down his cock. He moans into my mouth. “This is just a little taste right now.”
Adam chuckles. “Jesus fucking Christ, McKay. Are you trying to fucking kill me today? Or just make me question reality?”
“I have to admit”—I pull out of this kiss and squeeze his cock a little harder, making him growl out a moan—“I’m a little surprised you’re not reveling in this right now.”
“I just can’t fucking believe it.”
I let go of his cock and force my hand deeper into his pants so I can grab his balls. “That’s fear talking again. Just let it go.”
He stares at me with half-mast eyes, looking a little bit helpless, and then his hand reaches for the zipper of my coveralls. I think he’s waiting for me to stop him. And I consider it. Not because I don’t want him to touch me, but because this isn’t about me right now.
But I fear he will mistake that for rejection. I don’t stop him. Just fondle his balls and then take my hand back up to grip his shaft.
I don’t have on a shirt underneath the coveralls. So he finds my bare chest immediately, slipping his hand down the inside of my coveralls, under the waistband of my shorts. “Commando?” he says, grinning as he finds my dick. I’m already hard. I was hard all morning thinking about him. Planning how I might take this to the next level. I figured it would be make-up sex. Kinda hard and heated. Since we fought last night.
But slow is better.
“Now you know my last secret,” I say, pushing myself against him. “But I gotta say. You’re fucking turning me on right now.” I pause, breathing heavy as I enjoy his skill with my cock. Like he knows just what to do. “And you think this is gonna be some epic marathon—”
He laughs. Loud.
“Fuck you, asshole.”
He kisses me. “Go ahead, McKay,” he whispers past my lips. “You can come all over my hand. Any time you’re ready. Because I’m about to fucking spill mine into yours right fucking—” His cock jerks beneath my palm. And then I feel the warm wetness against my knuckles as they slide up and down his lower stomach.
He grips me hard. And then the tip of his thumb rubs across the head of my dick and I lean into him, out foreheads bumping as he jerks me faster. Harder. And then I can’t hold it in any longer. I groan and grit my teeth as I explode into the palm of his hand.
We stay like that for a few moments, holding each other’s cocks, breathing heavy, sweat running down my back. And even though I fully intended for this to happen today, I didn’t have any idea it would feel like this.
This good.
This perfect.
“Fuck,” he says, kissing me hard. “I want to do it again. Right now.”
But I hear Indie’s voice outside. And then Maggie.
And we pull apart. I grab a rag off the bench, throw it to him, then use another to clean myself up.
“Rain check?” I say, smiling at him.
“Yeah.” He throws the rag into the bin I use for ones that need laundering and then tucks his dick away, watching me as I do the same. “That’s the reason I came in here.”
“Really?”
“Shut up. You wanna take a trip to Savannah with me?” He looks over his shoulder, making sure no one is coming into the workshop. “Because I got a message from Wendy.”
“Wendy? Why does that name sound familiar?”
“Little assassin girl? Indie’s friend. Sorta. Worked with Chek?”
“Oh, yeah. She works for you?”
“Yeah, ever since Chek died. I kinda took her in.”
“Hmm. You do realize you’ve got yourself three girls now?”
“Does she count?”
“Do you think she counts?”
“Point. Anyway. Nathan called her.”
“No. Fucking. Shit. Way to bury the lede.”
“Is that a complaint?”
“Nah.” I chuckle. “So what’d he have to say? Are we gonna have to kill this boy?”
Adam looks over his shoulder again. “I don’t know yet. He wants to meet me in Savannah tomorrow morning. So we’re going. We’ll listen to him, but if that fucker threatens me, or Indie, or thinks he’s gonna come here and mess up our good thing, then—”
“Yeah. I get it.”
“I need to make some travel arrangements. We’ll take the jet.”
“There you are! I’ve been looking for you two.” We both turn to see Indie, who has a weird look on her face. “What’s going on here?” She points her finger back and forth between us.
“Just making plans for a quick trip.” Adam turns to me. “I’ve got a few other things to take care of. But we’re leaving this afternoon. We’ll stay the night there.”
“Gotcha.”
Adam has his back to Indie when he says this and his gaze lingers on mine for an extra second, giving me enough time to replay what just happened over in my head real quick. Then he turns and walks over to Indie, stopping to kiss her on the lips.
She pulls away a little. But then she kisses him back, laughing. “What’s going on?”
Adam smacks her ass, then walks off. “Ask McKay. He’ll tell you.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN - INDIE
The story McKay tells in his workshop wasn’t what I was expecting.
“You two,” I say, “just—”
“Yup.”
“Hmm. How you feel about that?”
McKay nods his head and smiles. Maybe even blushes.
“Are you serious?”
