Habitude, page 23
“I guess I can do that.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Hope looks at her mom, silently trying to tell her she wants five more minutes.
“I’ll be right back, then we’ll leave.” Diane walks back up to the front to help Faith with something, Jonathan follows.
Faith is surprised to see him. “Hey there. What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see my beautiful girlfriend.”
“Thank you.” She smiles feeling the heat rise in her cheeks.
“I was wondering when you’re going to be home.”
Faith takes a look around the café and says, “Probably around six.”
“That works. I’ll have dinner ready.”
“Thank you, Jonathan. You are absolutely the best.”
Jonathan gives her a quick kiss on the forehead then leaves through the back to head home and finish his preparations.
Chapter 39
Amplitude
Noun; extent of dignity, excellence or splendor
Faith walks in the door of the condo, leaving her coat, shoes, and purse in the foyer. When she turns the corner she sees that the entire space is lit by candlelight. The place has a magical ambiance. Faith suddenly has butterflies in her stomach. Jonathan approaches her with a huge smile on his face offering her a large glass of wine.
“Thank you. The place looks beautiful, Jonathan.”
“I’m glad you like it. Are you ready for dinner?”
“So ready!”
She follows Jonathan into the dining room. He pulls the chair out for her. She notices the large bouquet of red roses in the center of the table as she sits down. She looks out the large wall of windows seeing that the sun has already set for the day. The water just beyond the patio is rippling, reflecting the navy blue of the sky and the lights from the buildings surrounding that side of the bay.
“I can’t wait until the weather warms up and we can sit out there to eat again.”
Jonathan follows her gaze. “I can’t wait until we can sit outside our newly built house and enjoy the view there.”
“Me either, but this one will do until that one is ready.” She smiles.
“The view is always ready, Faith.”
She laughs a little. “I suppose you’re right.”
This gave Jonathan an idea, but it will have to wait until closer to midnight. He goes to the kitchen and brings their plates to the table.
“This looks amazing, Jonathan.” Faith says glancing down at her plate to see steak and lobster tail.
“Thank you. It was actually easier than I thought it would be.”
“You’ve really found a love for cooking haven’t you?”
“Yes, but that isn’t the only love I’ve found this year. I’m so grateful for you, Faith.” Jonathan places his hand on hers. He brings it to his lips and kisses it gently then places it back down on the table.
“I’m so grateful for you too, Jonathan. Look at all that we’ve accomplished in such a short amount of time.”
“I really can’t believe it.”
“Me either. It’s as if once we found each other everything else just started to line up in the most perfect of ways.”
“They have.”
The two of them begin eating their dinner with very little conversation between bites. Once they finish Jonathan goes outside to light the fire place. Faith grabs a large blanket, puts her jacket on, and meets him outside, bringing their wine glasses with her.
She hands him his glass. “Thank you. I thought maybe we could sit out here for a bit. Here.” He says as he covers her with a blanket.
“Thank you. This is a great idea.” She looks around at the twinkling lights above them and the stars above the pergola and takes a deep breath of the cool night air into her lungs.
“It’s hard to believe it’s already New Year’s Eve. I feel like it was just summer.”
“Yet, Christmas already feels like it was a month ago. Especially with everything going on with Hope.” Faith looks down at the glass of wine in her hands.
“That’s true. She seemed to be doing pretty good when I saw her today.”
“I think she’s going stir crazy.”
“Yes, she is.”
“Enough about my sister.” Faith thinks about what Hope had said in the office. Then says, “Have you heard anything from Michael?”
“No. I kind of figured with it being the holidays they might not be working as much.”
“Right. Some of us have been working more.”
“Soon you’ll be back to your normal schedule though. Plus, I know how much your parents really appreciate you stepping up like you have.”
“I know. I’m just not used to it anymore.”
“Teaching can’t be that different from waitressing. You’re still dealing with demanding customers either way.”
Faith laughs realizing he may have a point. Then says, “I think my students actually listen better in some regards.”
“I don’t doubt it. You’re a great teacher and you’ll be an amazing mother someday.”
“Thank you, Jonathan.” She beams at him.
Faith shivers a little. Jonathan turns the fireplace up and puts his arm around her, pulling her into him. She snuggles into the crook of his arm. He doesn’t want her getting cold yet.
“So before we met, what would you have been doing on New Year’s Eve?”
“I guess that kind of depends on what Jackie had going on. There were years we went out drinking, and others where we just hung out at one of our places. Last year, I didn’t want to be the third wheel so I left her and Tom to do whatever they wanted.”
“So what did you do instead?”
“I stayed home, drank a bottle of wine, and read a book.”
Jonathan is surprised. “You didn’t feel lonely? Or like you were missing out on the biggest party of the year?”
“Nope. I was comfy and warm. I didn’t have to worry about driving or dealing with drunk idiots.”
“Good point.” He raises his hand slightly. “I may have been one of those drunk idiots.”
“Is that what you would normally do before you met me?”
“Yeah, pretty much. The idea of staying in, staying home alone, was really depressing to me. Now, with you being here I rather like the idea.”
“That’s good to know. I rather like spending New Year’s with you too.”
Jonathan checks the time on his phone, it’s already after ten. They will need to leave in an hour or so if he’s going to pull off his plan. They enjoy the crisp night air until Jonathan suggests they go inside. He wants Faith to fully warm up before they leave.
Time flies by as they sit on the couch and talk about the past year and all the changes that have happened since finding one another. They reminisce about their early dates and make plans for the new year to come.
When Jonathan sees the time he begins extinguishing the candles and says, “I’d like to take you for a drive.”
“OK.”
They get into his car. Jonathan drives up the coast to their property. Faith had an idea this was where he was taking her, but she didn’t want to ruin the surprise. He’s planned so much for them already.
Jonathan opens her car door, putting his hand out to help her stand. Then they walk over to the construction site that will be their home in seven-ish months. He was right, there wasn’t much more done since the last time they were here. A few more exterior walls for the main floor are up with the house wrap covering them.
“It’s coming along. Slowly, but surely.” Jonathan says looking up at the walls standing before them.
“It’s going to be absolutely beautiful.”
“Did you know I was bringing you here?”
“I had a feeling. It’s the perfect place to be for the first moments of our new year together.”
“I want to kiss you at midnight under the moonlight from this view.” He turns and gestures to the view of the bay.
“I’d like that very much, Jonathan.” She smiles at his thoughtfulness.
They walk around the property a bit more before Jonathan grabs a couple of chairs from the back of his car. Placing them on the ground looking out at the best possible view.
As they sit, Jonathan says, “We should have something right here, like a seating area. I want to be able to take full advantage of this.”
“I can come up with a few ideas. A seating area with a fire pit or maybe a gazebo or pergola instead.”
“That’s a great idea. I’ll bring it up to Michael and see what they can do.”
As they sit holding hands, they look out at the view of Amethyst Bay, the moon is shining bright above them, and Jonathan’s alarm on his phone goes off, startling them both. Nervous laughter from them fills the otherwise silent air between them. “I forgot I did that.” Jonathan explains. “There is only one minute until midnight. I didn’t want us to miss it.”
Faith smiles. “You think of everything.”
Suddenly Jonathan has an idea. He stands and holds his hand out to Faith. “Will you dance with me under the stars?”
“I’d love to.”
Jonathan wraps her in his arms, pressing his body against hers. He begins moving, swaying to silent music.
“I’m so incredibly happy with you Faith. I know we weren’t together for the entire year, but it seems like it. It’s almost as if I was on autopilot until you came into my life.”
“I feel the same way.”
“There’s so much more to come for us.”
“It’s hard to believe since we’ve done so much already.”
Jonathan leans in kissing Faith deeply. His lips pressed against hers as the clock strikes midnight. His phone goes off once again letting them know that it is indeed New Year’s.
“Thank you for everything, Faith. I wouldn’t be here right now if you hadn’t come into my life.”
“Neither of us would be, without the other.”
Jonathan kisses her once again while letting the reality of all the possibilities their future holds wash over him.
Chapter 40
Inquietude
Noun; disturbed state
Present Day
Hope brings Faith dinner Friday evening. They sit in her large open kitchen at the booth-style seating that is situated at the front of the vast island centered between the kitchen and dining room. As they sit there eating the delicious pizza Hope brought, Faith thinks about their intention for the entire house. This table with the booth seating was supposed to be used for their family dinners together.
“Hey…” Hope says gently trying to snap Faith out of it. “Is the pizza that good? It’s already putting you in a food coma?” She half-heartedly laughs.
Faith smiles faintly, trying to make her sister feel like she’s doing a good job of taking care of her. It’s hard though. “I was just thinking of things that were supposed to be.”
“I know it’s not easy. All of this is so fresh and honestly, it’s not going to get easier for a while. You should know, Mom and Dad and I are all here for you.”
“I know. I appreciate that so much. I can’t wrap my mind around how I didn’t see it.” Faith’s head drops into her hands.
Hope scoots closer putting her hand on her sister’s shoulder. “None of us did.”
“You had your reservations.” She looks up at Hope.
“I had reservations about everyone, especially at that time. My reservations about him have been long gone for years now. Plus, I never thought he would have done what the detectives are saying he did.”
“Never.” The tears well up in her eyes, slowly spilling over her lashes and down her cheeks. She’s done fighting them, she’s too exhausted to even try. “I’m sorry I’m such shitty company right now.”
Faith’s dog, a yellow lab named Zeke, trots over to her placing his large head in her lap. Absentmindedly she pets the top of his head.
“You’re not shitty anything.”
She looks into Hope’s eyes. “Do you think there’s any way they could be wrong? I mean…I know it sounds crazy…” She shakes her head. “but so does what they’re accusing him of. Maybe he was set up or they got the wrong person.”
“I don’t know, Faith.” She doesn’t want to say that there’s no possible way they would have arrested him if there wasn’t enough proof that it was him. “I believe that for right now, we need to think about you and what you need.”
“He’s my husband, Hope.”
“He is.”
“He’s always been so great to me. Like amazingly, incredibly, good.” She half laughs. “How could he have been so horrible to those women?” She inhales sharply. “Oh, God. I think I’m going to be sick.” She gets up quickly running to the half bath near the family room.
Hope and Zeke follow behind her, but Faith closes the door. Hope leans against it, sinking down to the travertine floor. “I’m sorry, Faith. I can’t tell you how badly I wish things were different and you weren’t going through any of this. I can’t even imagine…” She trails off at the thought of how she would feel if the situation were reversed. When she hears the water running she stands.
Faith opens the door taking a deep breath. “I’ve been so nauseous lately.” Her face as white as a sheet.
Hope knows its Faith’s body’s reaction to what is happening externally. There was a time when she would have optimistically asked her if she was pregnant. That stopped being appropriate a long time ago now. “That will eventually ease up.” It’s all she can think to say.
“How are Mom and Dad doing?”
“You don’t have to worry about anyone else, Faith. They’re OK. We’re all just doing the best we can, and trying to help you in any way that we can.”
“I know. How’s Andy?”
“They’re OK too.”
“They had gotten close with Jonathan over the past few years.”
“Yeah. Just like it’s a shock for you, it is for us all too, but it isn’t anything near what you’re going through. We all get that.”
They walk back into the kitchen. Zeke follows intently watching as Hope starts packing up the leftover pizza. “I’m sorry this didn’t sit well.”
“It’s not your fault. Nothing would have. It tasted good the first time, not so much the second.” Faith feigns a laugh.
“No, but you need to try to keep something down.”
“I try. It’s hard when my appetite has entirely disappeared though.”
Hope looks at Faith wishing she could do more to help her big sister. “Have you talked to anyone? A professional maybe?”
“Even if I tried I wouldn’t be able to get in to see anyone for months.”
“It could still help even if you have to wait.”
“I’m not going to go and do anything like hurt myself, Hope.”
“That’s not what I mean. This isn’t coming out right. I simply think talking to someone who has some specialty in matters like this would be better than not. You are going through so much, and we can all try to help, but a professional has the tools that you need.”
“You’re right.” Faith looks down at her hands resting on the island countertop. “You’re totally right.”
Hope puts the pizza in the refrigerator. “I can stay as long as you need me to.”
“No, you should get home. I appreciate you coming here and spending time with me, but you have a life and a partner and you don’t need to babysit your big sister.”
“Oh, shit. I had no idea this was a paying gig!” Hope half-laughs, anticipating the joke to fall flat given how Faith is feeling, but she had to try.
Faith smiles faintly with a hint of a laugh. “Thank you.”
Hope places both hands on Faith’s shoulders looking her in the eyes, “I know things are bad right now, they won’t stay bad and they aren’t all bad. Just remember that.”
“I know. It’s really overpowering right now.”
“It’ll get better.”
Faith repeats her sister’s sentiments, “It’ll get better,” in a half-hearted attempt to believe the words herself.
Hope releases her and starts for the door right as the doorbell rings. Zeke barks. “Were you expecting someone?” Hope asks.
“I don’t think so.”
Faith grabs her phone noticing numerous missed notifications including texts from Jackie. She opens the doorbell app and see’s Jackie’s face smiling at her through the screen. She’s holding up a large bottle of wine. “It’s Jackie.” Faith tells Hope.
Hope opens the large double doors and Jackie says, “I’ll take it from here.” She pats Hope on the shoulder and sets a bag down next to the sofa.
“OK.” Hope turns to look at Faith. “If you need anything call me. I love you, sister.” She pulls Faith in for a hug, willing it to remove at least some of her sister’s pain. Then turns and walks out the door.
Jackie says, “I didn’t hear from you so I figured I’d stop by. How are you holding up?”
“As well as can be expected, I guess.”
Jackie stoops down to give Zeke some pets. “Hi, buddy! Sounds like you’re taking good care of your mom.” She gives him scratches behind his ears and he tilts his head into her hand thoroughly enjoying the attention. From this angle she can clearly see the grey hair that has made its home on his chin and around his mouth, there’s even some beginning around his eyes.
They walk into the kitchen and Jackie grabs a couple of wine glasses from the cupboard.
Faith looks at the wine and then the glasses. “I’m not sure if drinking is a great idea. My stomach has been in knots. It’s very unsettled.”
“OK. If you’re sure, I can put it in the wine fridge for later.”
“That would be nice. Thank you though. I appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome. What do you want to do? We can get out of here, go for a walk, go see a movie, anything you want.” Jackie walks over to the wine fridge putting the bottle in there.
“I’m not sure that I want to go anywhere.”
“I thought that getting out of this house,” she gestures to the surrounding walls, “might do you some good.”
