Habitude, page 19
“You do, Jonathan. You’ve put my life on a course I didn’t think was possible.”
Confused he asks, “Why didn’t you think it was possible?”
“I’d been so focused on going to school and then I kind of drowned myself in work, whether that was school or the café. I knew what I wanted for my future, but I didn’t see any of it happening soon.”
“That makes sense.”
“I also hadn’t expected my boyfriend to pay for the entire house or for our budget to be what it is. That does change things a bit.” She gently nudges him with her elbow.
“You’re not dating me for my money, are you?” Jonathan feigns exasperation.
Faith laughs, lightly hitting his arm, “I would never.”
“I know.” He pulls her in for a tight hug, kissing the top of her head. He feels that she is getting cold. “We should get going. It’s a little chilly.”
Chapter 32
Desuetude
Noun; discontinuance from use or exercise, disuse
Thanksgiving is hosted at Frank and Diane’s. She insists even though they have plenty of space at the condo. Jonathan suggests at some point they begin having it at their new house, but Diane won’t hear of it.
Frank has a football game on the TV in the den while Faith, Hope and their mom are cooking in the kitchen. Jonathan takes it all in. He hasn’t enjoyed a Thanksgiving with family since before his parents passed. He hasn’t even simply enjoyed a Thanksgiving with or without family since then. His aunt Suz wasn’t much of a cook and the holidays were one of her least favorite times of the year. He sits in the den with Frank and watches the game.
Diane is quick to let them know when dinner is done. They all walk into the dining room with their Thanksgiving feast sitting on the table waiting for them. Diane set the table with her best china and silverware. It looks like something out of a Normal Rockwell painting.
The food is absolutely delicious just like Jonathan knew it would be. He loves this family and he’s grateful to be a part of it. When they’re finished eating, Jonathan helps bring the dirty plates and serving dishes into the kitchen. He doesn’t like feeling like he isn’t contributing at all. He attempts to wash the dishes, but Diane won’t allow anyone else to wash her china.
“Thank you, Jonathan, but I’ve got it from here.” She tells him, scooching him away from the sink with the towel she had in her hands.
Jonathan looks at Faith who smiles, shrugs her shoulders, and says, “You’d think it would be me she’d be trying to keep from washing the fine china.” Faith laughs knowing she wouldn’t let anyone else do it, not even her dad. Hell, especially her dad.
Hope looks at Jonathan, “Well, Jonameister, you’re lucky she even let you carry them in here.”
Jonathan smiles at her. “Jonameister?” He asks with his brow furrowed and a chuckle.
“Yeah, I’ve been calling you that behind your back for months now.”
“OK.” He pauses for a moment mulling it over then says, “I kind of love it.” A sly smile spreading slowly as he watches Hope’s reaction.
“NO! You’re supposed to hate it.”
He then smiles to himself knowing that he’s getting under her skin. “I think that’s why I love it.”
Faith simply watches the two of them while putting leftovers away. She loves seeing them getting along so well.
Diane listens to their exchange smiling to herself as she washes the dishes. She says, “OK, you two, Faith and I can get it from here.”
Jonathan takes the hint and goes into the den with Frank, Hope follows. It doesn’t take long for Faith to finish up, but by the time she goes into the den, all three of them have passed out.
Diane walks up beside her in the doorway and says, “That tryptophan works wonders.”
“It sure does, Mom.” Faith laughs.
“How are you doing?” She places her head on Faith’s shoulder.
“I’m good. The closing of my house is coming up and the construction of our house is coming along even though it’s only been a week.”
“What have you decided to do with the money you’re getting from that?”
“Well, Hope actually had a very good idea.”
“Really? What was that?”
“She told me to invest it.”
“That is a solid idea. Not that I think anything is going to happen, but it doesn’t hurt to have a cushion.”
“Right.”
Faith sits down next to Jonathan. He wakes up a little startled. “I hadn’t realized I even fallen asleep.”
Faith laughs, “My mom said it was the tryptophan.”
Jonathan laughs too. “I’m pretty sure she’s right.”
Once the football game is over they decide to head home to the condo. Hope leaves at the same time.
“You’ll have to come see the property sometime, Doubt.” Faith tells her as they walk out to the cars.
“That would be great. Just let me know when. I’d love to see it.” She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
Jonathan drives right past the driveway for the condo. Faith asks, “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
“Oh, it’s one of those?”
“What do you mean one of those?”
“One of your surprises.”
“Do I do them that often?”
“You, my love, give the perfect amount of surprises.” She touches his arm reassuringly.
Jonathan laughs, “As if there is such a thing.”
“Well, there should be.”
There is a full moon shining brightly reflecting off the rippling water in the bay. Faith can’t help but watch it out her window as they drive up the coast.
Once they get to their land, Jonathan pulls into the makeshift driveway the contractors have made with the equipment. He parks and quickly gets out, opening Faith’s door for her.
She stands and looks towards the bay. Then takes a deep breath, the cold night air stinging in her nostrils. Jonathan grabs her hand and leads her near the edge of the hole that will eventually be their basement. The contractor has it roped off and flagged all the way around for safety.
Placing his arms around her, he tells her, “This is going to be our front porch. I can’t carry you over the threshold yet, because, well, there’s no threshold and we would plummet down some ten feet. I can kiss you here though.”
He leans in to kiss her, pulling her tighter against him. Her arms wrapping around him at the same time. Kissing him back with fervor.
“You’re such an amazing man, Jonathan. Thank you for this.”
“I wanted to bring you here tonight. It’s Thanksgiving. You and this journey we’re on together are the things I’m most grateful for.”
“Thank you. I’m grateful for all this as well. I’m most grateful to have you in my life.” He squeezes her tighter kissing the top of her head.
After Thanksgiving, Jonathan’s late nights started to be all over the place. Friday nights seem the worst. Nearly every Friday he is at work until at least eleven. If she weren’t so sure about his integrity she would be worried he’s cheating. Faith doesn’t mind having those nights to herself though. There have been nights Jackie comes over to the condo and enjoys a glass of wine, or two. Other nights, Faith reads or catches up on lesson plans. She took both Jackie and Hope to see the property and the progress that is being made.
Two weeks later, the closing for Faith’s house goes through without any issues. All her belongings have already been moved into a storage unit by the movers Jonathan hired. She didn’t need to attend the closing since she met with Brian the day before to sign paperwork. She figured there was no need for her to miss school that day as well.
She did enjoy seeing over forty thousand dollars get wired into her account. She wants to be as smart about this as she can and has an appointment at the bank to discuss her investment options. The thought of buying a new car and simply paying cash for it had crossed her mind, but investing it, like Hope said, is a much smarter option.
It does feel strange to know that her house is no longer her house. That someone else is moving their stuff in. Signing paperwork didn’t really make it real even though it’s been almost a month since she spent the night there.
The closing of one chapter means there is openness for the beginning of another. She is more than ready for their next chapter together.
Chapter 33
Definitude
Noun; precision, definiteness
The rest of the month of December is busy with the construction of the house and getting ready for Christmas. Jonathan has been working more than ever. It’s been difficult on both of them, feeling like they are ships passing in the night. He tries to make up for it as much as he can on the weekends, but it can be hard to get in quality time when the quantity isn’t available.
She understands their relationship’s success and his becoming CEO at Kansen Corp are somehow tied together in his mind. Even the house they are building and in some ways the family that they will eventually have are all status symbols to him. She doesn’t love the idea of it, but she also understands that it doesn’t make them any less important to him. It merely alters the reason behind his determination slightly. Faith has mostly come to terms with it. At first, she feared it was materialistic, but she’s since come to understand it goes deeper than that.
Jonathan has begun to notice his hours are grating on Faith a bit more now than they were in the beginning. Maybe it has something to do with the holidays coming up or perhaps it’s simply because now she’s alone in a space that is their shared home instead of just being hers. He hopes that the new house might help her in this aspect. Moving and getting everything set up, decorated, and arranged in the way she wants could be a great distraction.
On Friday, Jonathan decides that he will leave work earlier than he’s been able to in a while and take Faith out to Tollero’s for dinner. They haven’t been out to dinner anywhere but the café in a while.
Faith is pleasantly surprised when he walks through the door earlier than normal. He holds out a beautiful bouquet of long stem roses. “Hello, gorgeous.”
Surprised Faith says, “Hi!” Smiling widely she continues, “Those are so pretty! I wasn’t expecting you home for a few hours yet.” She takes the roses and walks to the kitchen.
Jonathan follows her and watches as she puts them in a vase with water. “I know. I wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, you definitely did that.”
“You should go get changed. We’re going to dinner.”
“OK. Where are we going?”
“I’d like to take you to Tollero’s if that’s OK?”
“That’s so much better than OK!” She says with her voice full of excitement and a huge smile on her face.
Jonathan can see that this is exactly what she needed and makes a mental note as to not forget it for future use.
Jonathan watches her as she gets changed. She puts on her makeup and freshens up her hair with her straightener. Damn, she’s so beautiful he contemplates to himself. The sight of her reminds him of their first date. He thinks back to how nervous he had been that night and smiles to himself.
“What are you smiling about?” She looks at him in the reflection of the mirror with a curious expression.
“I was thinking about our first date. I was so nervous and you looked incredibly beautiful. My biggest fear that night was fucking it all up before we could get to the good stuff.”
“It was all good stuff.” She thinks back to that night. “You brought me flowers that night too. They were so beautiful. I didn’t want to throw them away even after they were dead.”
“What was your favorite part of that night?”
Faith thinks for a moment and then says, “Our walk in the park and then losing time sitting on the bench talking for hours. What was yours?”
“I’ve told you I knew you were someone special the moment I saw you, but that was the instant I knew that we would be something exceptional. So, it looks like it’s a mutual favorite.”
Faith beams at him. She quickly finishes brushing her hair and slips her shoes on. Jonathan takes in the sight of her as if he’s seeing her for the first time again. She isn’t wearing anything special, just dress pants and a nice blouse. It is getting colder out after all, but the way the pants fit her curves and accentuate her ass is unbelievable to him.
“Damn, you are sexy.”
“Thank you, Jonathan.” Her cheeks feeling warm.
“I’m serious.” He pulls her into him. “Beautiful, smart, sexy, and an all-around wonderful person inside and out. I am the luckiest guy ever.” He kisses her forehead.
Dinner at Tollero’s is delicious as always. Afterwards, Jonathan drives out to the property to check on the construction progress. Pulling up they see that the workers, who have all gone home for the day, are starting to get some walls up. The walk-out portion at the back wall of the basement is now built as well.
Faith takes it all in. The area the house is taking up looks ginormous. Jonathan interrupts her thoughts, “Did you happen to see the email from Michael? He wants to meet to finalize the plans once the exterior walls are placed.”
“I hadn’t seen it yet, but that sounds good. I’m excited to get everything settled.”
“Yeah, it seems like everything is going really well. I know there’s still so much to do though.”
“So much.” Faith takes a moment and then asks, “Does it look huge to you?”
“It does look pretty big, but that was kind of the point, wasn’t it?” It is over four thousand square feet including the finished basement area.”
“That’s true.” She can’t fight the wave of feelings that are washing over her as tears start running down her face. She manages to choke out, “I’m afraid it’s going to feel empty.” It seems the harder she tries to stop crying, the more forceful it becomes.
Jonathan wraps his arms around her. Feeling helpless in this moment. He realizes she has been feeling worse than she let on. He also understands then that moving into a bigger, emptier house isn’t going to help that.
“Would it help if I started bringing some of my work home?” Pausing for a moment he scrambles for the words, “I wouldn’t be able to do that with everything, but I think it could help.” He doesn’t want her to think that will mean no late nights what-so-ever.
“I would appreciate that.”
“Consider it done.”
Faith hadn’t intended to tell him in that way. She had been holding it in for so long and she hadn’t known how big it all felt until it started coming out. When she was envisioning herself in that house by herself the majority of the time it became more than she could handle right now.
“Faith, if you’re ever feeling like this again, I need you to tell me. I’m sorry I hadn’t noticed. I know we both have so much going on right now, but we still need to communicate.”
“Sometimes feelings sneak up on you.”
“I get it. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” Jonathan hugs her tighter. The cold December wind whipping past them. Faith shivers. He rubs her arms and kisses her forehead. Then he wipes the tears from her cheeks. She removes her glove and wipes under her eyes. Black mascara leaving a mark on her finger tip. She’s certain that there’s more where that came from.
Chapter 34
Longitude
Noun; long duration
Time seems to take forever, but also fly by in a strange contradiction. Over the past few weeks Jonathan has been doing a better job of being home more for Faith. She is just starting to feel better, but then her Christmas break comes. Sitting at home alone for most of the day is starting to cause her to revert back to feeling detached from Jonathan.
In an attempt to keep herself busy she decorated the house for Christmas, then wrapped gifts for her parents and Hope. She even baked cookies to try to pass the time. Finally, she decides to get lost in a book before eventually deciding something needs to change.
A few days later, Faith starts to think it may be best to take up some day shifts at the café to help fill her time. She reaches out to Hope right away to let her know.
Faith: Hey Despair, I’d like to pick up some day shifts if possible during Christmas vacation.
Hope: That would be great! Send me the dates and I’ll get you on the schedule!
Now that she’s taken care of getting more hours she starts thinking about what to get Jonathan for Christmas, but is at a loss. What do you get the man that can literally buy himself anything he wants? Her first idea was a vacation. They really could benefit from having that one on one time together. The logistics of him getting off work may be an issue though.
Jonathan, on the other hand, has a much easier time finding Faith a gift. It’s something he’s been thinking about practically since they met. He knows he needs to plan it the right way. This is something she should pick out herself. He cannot do that for her.
With only a couple days left until Christmas Jonathan stops in Love’s Café for lunch. Faith will be busy on the floor. He comes in through the back door and goes straight to the office.
Hope is sitting at the desk adjacent to Frank’s, going through some paperwork. Jonathan knocks on the already open door to announce his presence.
“Hey, Faith is up front.” Hope says, barely looking up from her work.”
Jonathan begins to walk into the office, “I know. I need to talk to you about something?”
“Ah shit. What did you do?” She says sitting back in her chair, finally looking up.
Confused he begins, “What? Nothing.” He shakes his head trying to clear the confusion. “I need Faith to have off the day after Christmas.”
