Second Chance Rescue, page 19
Sadie sits again by the front door, waiting, hoping. Who am I kidding, no amount of alcohol could make me forget about her… I swear I’d been on the edge of becoming an alcoholic before Macy pulled me back. After Juliette, I never thought I would fall for anyone else. Macy broke through my barriers and now she may be gone too, leaving me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. I only have myself to blame. Another voice surges into my head wrestling for control. A voice I’ve smothered for years. The one of courage and hope. Come on Donovan, man up, you can do this, you can win this war even if you are losing this current battle. Yes, she broke down the walls that took years to build can’t you do the same for her?
Everywhere I look tonight, I see her. I can’t help it. She only spent a little time here, but I can feel her. I have to get out of this house. I rush through the back doors, breathing harshly, and bend; hands on my knees. Sadie follows me out of the house, wondering why I’m running like a crazy man. Mild panic shreds me. What am I thinking? I wonder how much longer it will take to stop hearing her voice and feeling her soft skin against mine. Her sweet taste on my lips.
It has been days since the funeral and I’ve heard nothing but crickets. I’ve shown up every single day to be told that she didn’t want to see me. I could tell by Mia’s expression that she was sad for me. I understand grief. I just want to be there for my girl. It obviously hasn’t worked. I’m dying a slow death without her. My heart’s atrophying from non-use.
Nighttime is the worst. The dreams are so vivid and real. Sweet torture. Plain and simple. Every moment with her has been seared into every crevice of my brain matter and subconscious. I see her everywhere I look and in my dreams. Every look, every touch, every caress, every taste.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter to myself. Deep breath in, deep breath out. I do this for several minutes, hoping to calm myself. I wander out a little farther into the yard and plant myself against a tall pine tree, looking up at the stars as Sadie sits beside me. Each star a wish or dream that may now never come true. We were written in these stars. Each one glistening and sparkling brighter than the next.
Being with Macy changed me in a way I didn’t know was possible. The world is brighter. The hurts don’t seem to faze me as much. They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but I had that with Juliette. Macy was my second chance at love and the shit part is I’ve lost her too, so I find a tiny bit of fault with that statement. It’s infinitely worse now. Whoever “they” are is full of bullshit. That’s what I know.
I know I loved Juliette, but it’s different with Macy. I can feel my love grow stronger. Well, I could. If only I hadn’t blown it up in epic proportions with my indecision. She made me feel alive. Made me want to take risks, be free to love. She is the spark to my flame. I would’ve happily burned with her by my side. But this is my new grim reality. Me without Macy. I swipe my hand over my cheeks, finding wetness.
It figures.
The air feels different as I walk back to the house.
I can feel her presence. But why would she be here? For me… the broken bastard who can’t get over his cowardly ways and tell her exactly how I want to sweep her off her feet, marry her tomorrow for love, and have her knocked up within the month. I look over and notice a shadow. A figure in my kitchen. A woman silhouetted against the dim light. Sadie takes off immediately at the sight of her, and my heart trills.
“Trev,” the woman says quietly. My heart jumps in my chest at the sound of her voice.
She’s here. Hope.
For once, I don’t believe my lovesick heart is playing tricks on my ears. I take off at a run, my steps sounding like a herd of wild elephants on safari. When I reach the short distance to the kitchen, I skid to a stop, blinking in astonishment, and hurl her into my embrace. I need to touch her. To know that she’s real. That she’s really here. In my home. Our home because it stopped just being mine a while ago. I can’t believe my eyes. She must have sneaked in the front door while I was out back.
“Mace,” I say, voice raw. “What are you doing here?”
She turns to me, heaving chest and dark eyes, flushed cheeks. “I’m here to tell the man I’m in love with that he’s a moron.”
My mouth drops open and my heart literally freezes dead in my chest. I wheeze, “Love?” before Macy stops me. She’s in love with me?
“Yes, that’s right, you big dummy, I’m in love with you!” The way she says it sounds like a confessional, like something she can’t hold in any longer. She keeps talking as my heart reboots and blasts off like a rocket into space.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t know sooner. I’m sorry that I didn’t ask you to stay when I needed you most. To tell you that I loved you and wanted you so bad my heart burst. You’re the best man I’ve ever known, and the fact that you were willing to give up everything for my happiness proves that. So, help me, I’ll be damned if I let you get away. I’ve been searching my whole life for you. Looks like fate had pretty big plans for us. But, had I known you’d be wrapped up in walls of a caveman with a touch of bossy and scowling…”
I scowl at her.
“Kidding! Then you came at me with this proposal and Dad died and I was lost, so lost, and… so it took a while longer to get my head in order. But I’m here now. And I’m hoping it’s not too late.”
She swallows and then continues, “I love you, Trev, not for the money because quite frankly I don’t give two damns whether you’re rich or poor. Hell, I’d live with you in a box down by the river if I had to, but I’m kind of glad we won’t have to because… well, I can’t swim. I’d die if the river ever flooded.”
“You can’t swim?” I say, shocked.
“Really, that’s what you took away from that sentence?” she says exasperatedly. I love flustered Macy. The blush of her cheeks and her angry face are so fucking cute. I shrug my shoulders. Macy takes a step closer. And then another, until she is so close that I can see the silver flecks in her indigo blue eyes. Calling forth my soul, a beacon in the night. I can feel the warmth of her presence. She flattens her hands against my chest. I’m on a runaway freight train right down the tracks of my heart.
This beautiful woman is made for me. The feelings I have for Macy scare me to my core for so many reasons. Moving on means finally letting Juliette go—for good this time. I’ve wanted this for a while now. I’ve wanted her. She’s in so deep under my skin that she’ll break me if she ever leaves me again. I need to tell her—ask for more.
“You don’t understand.” I take a deep breath in. “I always thought I would go through the rest of my life single after I lost Juliette. I figured I’d go through the motions of dating because Chase wouldn’t let it go, but I never expected to ever want anyone else. I figured if I kept everyone at arm’s length, I could keep her with me forever. I was essentially holding a place for her even though she’s gone and she’s never, ever coming back to me.” I let out a deep sigh and move closer to Macy. “You started working at my animal shelter and I saw this kind, funny, sexy girl who wasn’t afraid to live life and get lost in it. You made me want to feel again and when I found out I needed to get married, you were the only one I wanted. We started hanging out and I started liking you a little.” My lips twist into a smile.
“I see, just a little, huh?” She giggles and squeezes my hands.
I laugh and shake my head. “Okay, so maybe it’s a lot more than a little. Then I got to know you and realized you were different. You live life of your own accord and have no regard for people’s opinions of you. I wanted to be set free like that. As much as I tried to deny it, there was a pull between us. I wanted you. And when we were together, I didn’t think twice about Juliette. It was all about you—like right now at this very moment. I love being able to feel this way again with you, but I feel terrible about it at the same time. Because I’m moving on… I’m moving on and a tiny part of that thought breaks my heart.” I try, in vain, to swallow the growing lump in my throat.
A tear slips down her cheek and I wipe it away with my thumb. A small smile creases her face.
“I never thought love was a possibility for me again. I always thought that you had this one great love and that was it. Everyone kept telling me I was young and asked why I didn’t try again.” I shake my head. “I know they meant well, but they didn’t understand how I felt. No one did. I’ve had my fair share of dates and I had to fake my way through most of them because no one made me want life as much as you do.”
“You do know that we’ve done everything as backward as possible, right? I believe most proposals are to be done after you’ve fallen in love,” she whispers.
Without thinking, I drop to one knee. “Macy, we’re a little backward but I want to do it properly this time. I am head over fucking heels in love with you and I would love nothing more than to marry you for real. For love. I want to grow old with you and watch our kids grow up and find love of their own. Would you do me the greatest honor of becoming my wife?”
Tears spring from her eyes as she helps me up. “Yes,” she cries. “Yes, and forever yes, Trev. I thought you’d never ask.” She slides her tiny arms around my waist and tugs me closer. I’ve known love before, but if I could capture this feeling in a jar, it would look like fireflies bringing the night sky to life. I am overwhelmed with happiness. If I didn’t weigh so much, I’d fear I might float away. She pulls out the ring box from her pocket.
“You kept it?” I whisper, reaching out to her.
“How could I not, Trev? It may have started as an agreement, but it was still something that you picked out just for me. It’s perfect.”
“Just like you.” A shy smile lights up her face as I slide my ring back onto her finger where it was meant to be.
“So,” I say. “In honor of doing things ass-backward… I know we haven’t been together for very long, but I love you. I want to marry you. Yes, we can date for a couple more months if you want, but as far as I’m concerned you’re going to become my forever date anyhow. What do you say?”
“I’m going to date the hell out of you, Trevor Donovan, and I expect all the wooing, romance, and naughty bits.” She gives me a shy smile and kisses me.
“Well future Mrs. Donovan, I don’t think that will be a problem at all,” I growl in her ear. The pawing on my pants has gotten steadily more demanding and I look down. Sadie is demanding attention.
Macy’s eyes follow mine and she leans down. “Hey girl.”
Sadie’s butt is wiggling like crazy as she assaults Macy’s face with kisses. “I missed you too. You know, Sadie, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were playing a little bit of matchmaker from the beginning, weren’t you?” She licks Macy’s face once more.
I crouch down too and whisper, “You did good.”
I can’t resist; I pull Macy up and kiss her deeply. It’s been too long since her soft lips have been pressed up to mine. Since I could breathe her air. Smell her cherry and citrus shampoo. Feel her warmth pressed up against me. Hold her in my arms.
I could kiss her for days. Her small hands reach up to grasp my shirt and she kisses me back like she would die if she didn’t kiss me just then. This very moment. Like I may be gone tomorrow.
“So, what do we do now?”
“All that matters is here and now. It’s time for me to stop living in the past and start looking toward my future.” I pause. “With you.” A smile spreads wide across her cheeks and touches her eyes. I stroke the velvety softness of her cheek.
“You’re responsible for that, you know. Without you, I probably wouldn’t have ever resolved things with my parents.” Macy rests her head against my beating heart.
“I can’t wait to marry you, Mr. Donovan. Let’s set a date.”
“How about this weekend? I can’t think of a better birthday present. We’ve already got the perfect venue and all I need is you,” I whisper in her ear.
She giggles nervously, “I can’t wait.”
I am up bright and early the next morning. Stopping at my usual florist, Paisley Blooms, to pick up some lilies. I lower myself to the grass in front of her grave marker. I remember the last time I was here. I was fighting my feelings for Macy. A lot has changed in just a few months. I’m not even exactly sure where to start. A cool breeze picks up and I know she’s here with me.
“Hey Jules. A lot has happened since the last time I was here.” I close my eyes and her voice comes to me.
“I asked Macy to marry me and she said yes. Last time I was here, I wasn’t doing so good. But she’s brought me back. You’d like her, you know. She reminds me a lot of you. Feisty, stubborn, and not afraid to call me on my bullshit.
“I love you, Jules. I’ll always love you, but I love Macy too. I need to move on and I can’t do that without saying goodbye to you.” I pause, expecting a response, but it doesn’t come.
“I know you’d want me to move on too. Make the most of my life. I have you to thank for getting me to where I am today. Kicking me into shape and making me the man I am. I love you, Jules.”
The breeze leaves just as quickly as it came. She’s gone. I feel sadness, but I know it’s time to move on. I can’t let the past keep holding me back. Macy said yes. She is going to be my wife and I am going to be damn sure not to mess it up. Jules was my first love. She taught me how to love. How to be selfless. How to let go and now she’s taught me how to move on from the past. My future is here, and I’m going to run with it.
In just a few days, Macy and I will be joined forever. Karma be damned. Just a few more finishing touches and it’ll be perfect.
Macy
Mia and I stare at the mirror in the bedroom converted into our dressing room for the day. “I can’t believe your happily ever after finally came true. When you first texted me about the agreement, I couldn’t count the number of times I thought it would go up in smoke. But here you are, looking gorgeous and about to marry the man of your dreams. It’s your big day, hon. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you,” I say. I feel gorgeous today. I can’t honestly say that I’ve felt this way a lot in my life, but I do today for sure. My white knight in shining armor has finally come to save me. To love me. I’m finally, finally getting my happily ever after.
“That dress is perfect for you. I think you made a great choice.”
“Me too.” I’d chosen a simple white dress of beaded lace and a deep V-neckline in the front. It wasn’t crazy expensive, but it’s beautiful and perfect for the venue—Second Chances. This is the place where it all began. Our place and a new beginning for us. A first.
I’d let Mia dye a few strands of my hair blue for my something blue. She’s been asking to do something different with my hair for a while now and I figured why not. I keep it tucked in on the underside though because honestly, I’m not that bold. I wore my mother’s favorite pearl necklace as my something old. I’d borrowed a pair of Mia’s fancy shoes as my something borrowed. I’d checked off all the mandatory somethings. Pulling me out of my daze, Mia says something that only Mia would say…
“So, tell me, does Trevor have any single, rich, sexy friends?”
I slap her arm playfully. “Focus, bitch, this is my day. You can prowl after the reception as much as you want, but not before it. Wait, didn’t you bring Brooks with you?”
She huffs while holding her chest in an overly dramatic manner. “I did, but it’s never too late to start looking for the next best thing. If you know what I mean.” She winks. She fucking winks. My best friend, everyone…
The wedding processional starts and Mia walks down the aisle first. I follow her gaze at the gorgeous array of petals left behind by the flower girl. I can’t believe my wedding day is finally here and I’m marrying the love of my life. If you had told me months ago I’d be in love and married, I would have laughed at you.
Butterflies take flight inside my chest.
Max walks up beside me and places my hand in the crook of his arm. “You look beautiful, Macy.”
“Thank you, Max.”
I love that he offered to walk me down the aisle since my dad couldn’t be here to see me today. A tear forms and slides slowly down my cheek. Days like today make me miss him, them. My parents. Some days I’m still so mad that Dad left me alone. Other days, I’m glad that he’s no longer suffering. My parents would have been proud of us today.
I push it from my mind and my gaze falls forward.
I look down the aisle and see the friends that came to support us today. I see Trevor’s mother smiling, holding back tears. At the end of the aisle stands the rest of my forever, Trevor, dressed in a black Armani suit and looking like sex on a stick. Beside him sits our matchmaker, Sadie. A ring pouch is attached to her white collar. I can’t take my eyes off of them. My family. My forever.
My eyes fall back to Trevor and I watch as he reaches up to wipe his cheek, not realizing he’s crying. Seeing his tears creates my own. Happy can’t describe the emotions I’m feeling in this moment. I’m surprised so many people have shown up today on such short notice. We wanted a small and intimate get-together. With my parents gone there was no need for a big, fancy wedding. As far as I’m concerned, I just want to marry Trevor.
The ceremony goes quickly. Trevor’s vows are sweet and romantic. My vows are sprinkled with rainbows and unicorns of gushing cheesiness. Typical for me.
We plan a reception for after the honeymoon so everyone can be there. We don’t want to wait any longer; tonight’s the night. I will finally give myself over to him, body, heart, and soul.
My heart clings to my throat with anticipation. My skin is all over buzzy and tingly. We’d talked about tonight the night he proposed, but it’s finally here.
