Second Chance Rescue, page 17
“Okay… what’s up?” I say, smiling up at him.
“So I had a chat with Maxwell this morning. He’s taken away the stipulations for my trust fund. He truly believes that what’s between us is real and I do too. He’s giving me the trust fund, Macy. It’s not an arrangement anymore.”
I stare at him, unsure what to say next. I’m not entirely sure what this means. I was under the impression that this was just an arrangement but his words now make me question things.
The look on his face fills with concern. “Look, he can tell there’s something between us. There is, Macy. There’s something here.”
“So, this is what you really want, Trev? I thought this was just an arrangement between us. You said before that you could never give me your heart. I can’t do this halfway. I want your heart or nothing.”
“You’ve had my heart, Macy. Since the moment you stepped into my rescue. No matter how much I tell myself I don’t want you, I know it’s a lie.”
“What does this mean?” I ask, still unsure about the whole situation. This is a curveball I didn’t see coming. I feel things for Trevor that I’ve never felt for another man before and I want this to be real. I want to be with him.
“Okay, let’s do this.”
A smile lights up his whole face. “You sure?”
The smile on his face only brings my own. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Well, then we need to go out and celebrate.” His hands move to cup my face and I can’t help but stare in his gorgeous blue eyes. He’s finally going to be mine. This is no longer a pretend fairytale. I can finally be with Trevor the way I’ve wanted for a while now.
We spent the rest of the weekend making plans. What would happen now that it was real? He told me all about how he was going to date me and give me everything a proper boyfriend should give. How he was going to woo me and give me all the romance because I’d never experienced it before. His parents were in and out of the chalet for the next two days. Clearly, they were the life of the party around here. They were kind and amicable and by the time Sunday evening rolled around I didn’t want to leave. The chalet had been our own little magical slice of heaven and the thought of going back to our mundane everyday life suddenly seemed saddening. I would have never believed that during our first “family” dinner.
I needed to get home to my father though. He needed me these days and even though I wanted to steal away with Trevor, I had responsibilities and school.
The car ride home is stolen glances and holding hands. Singing along to our favorite songs on my iPod. It was perfect. Almost too perfect.
We’d been home less than half an hour when my cellphone starts to ring down the hall. I jog to grab it, answering on the last ring before my voicemail starts. “Hello?” Trevor follows in behind me.
“Macy?” Cheryl’s voice comes through as a soft sob. My heart drops. I had a feeling in the pit of my gut this morning when I woke. Hearing Cheryl sobbing on the other end of my phone, waiting for it to come, knowing one day I wouldn’t be there to save him.
Her words come crashing down on me like a boulder dropped from the highest mountain. My world implodes. Stops. I try to inhale but the pressure on my chest is so powerful. Every breath comes with effort. I wonder if I’m having a heart attack. My mouth is dry and the world starts spinning. This can’t be real. This isn’t happening. But it is. I try my best to listen to what she’s saying, but it’s impossible. I get bits and pieces between the buzzing in my ears.
“So sorry, Macy. He’s in the hospital. You need to go to him.”
I try to inhale again and can’t. I try to speak but my voice is gone. My legs collapse below me, and I crumble to the floor. My body goes hot and cold right before it starts to shake. The phone falls from my grasp to the floor with a loud thud.
“Macy… Macy… baby…” Trevor’s voice is laden with concern as he considers my face. “What’s wrong, what happened?” He sits down next to me, trying to pull me into his lap but I push against him. As much as I want to have him hold me, I can’t handle my emotions for Trevor and this news right now.
“Dad,” I rasp. “He’s… had a heart attack. We need to go to the hospital.” The words fall out chocked. The fairy tale is over. My brain is a scrambled mix of anger and terror. Mad at my father for leaving me to pick up the pieces. Mad at myself for lying to him about Trevor and afraid of what is to become of us. I wonder if I’ll even have time to tell dad the truth. I have no idea how bad this heart attack is or if we’ll even make it to the hospital in time. How will I move on from this one? They’ll both be gone now and I’ll be parentless.
The afternoon sunlight cuts in through the window with a slice of cheer. I’m angry with its promise of good things. I want it to rain, thunderstorm. A melancholy, dull shower to go with my current mood. I stopped crying a while ago but Trevor still sits with me, whispering that things will be okay. We both know it’s a farce. How such an amazing day can go from fairy tale to tragedy in the blink of an eye. I’m completely crushed. Completely unsure what happens next. I wish I felt nothing.
Apathy would be a blessing at this point. I feel raw, exposed, and I hate every forsaken minute of it.
I need to see him. Dad. I need to get to him. If this is my last chance to see him then I need to go now. I pull myself up. The first thing I need is clothes, comfy clothes. I switch out my jeans for leggings and my cardigan for a sweatshirt, not even caring that Trevor is seeing it all. My breath hitches as I look over at Trevor. The concern on his face evident. He holds his arms out to me and I want to rush him. To have him hold me and tell me that my world didn’t just crumble around us, but I remain frozen in place.
His eyes search my face, “Oh, babe.” Concern laces his look and I want so badly to take comfort in it, but there’s no time for that now.
We rush to the car and hop in. Trevor gives directions to the driver and I hold my breathe in anticipation. It’s a waiting game at this point. Will we make it in time? My heart is in my throat and emotions are wracking my brain. Tears slide down my cheeks and I can no longer hold in the sobs that shudder my body. I knew something bad was going to happen. I had the worst feeling. I shouldn’t have left him and now, now he may die before we can tell him the truth about us.
The sky outside now matches my soul—dark. Rain is coming. It’s like the weather knows about the storm clouds swirling within me. Bile creeps up the back of my throat and I feel like I’m going to lose the contents of my stomach. I’ve never in my life felt this much fear and worry. I’m stressed. My hands fumble with the hem of my shirt and Trevor reaches over to grab them.
“Look at me, Macy.” I shake my head. My eyes still on my lap. Tears streaming down my face. “Yes, hey, look at me.” He tips my chin up so my eyes catch his. “It’s going to be okay, baby. We’ll get there in time. He’s going to be fine.”
I want so badly to believe him, but my brain won’t stop telling me it’s a lie. I shake my head. “You don’t know that, Trev. You can’t predict the future.”
“I know this. It will be okay. I will be with you, and together we can get through anything.” He pulls me into him and wraps his arm around my shoulder. I relish the comfort in his touch. We’d just become an us and right now I needed him. I needed his strength. I needed him to be the anchor to the storm in my soul.
The driver pulls up to the curb of the hospital and Trevor jumps out.
“Hey, I’ve got you,” Trevor says, darting around the car as I almost fall in my rush to escape the deafening silence of the car. His arm snuggles tightly around my waist, half holding me up, half dragging me up the sidewalk and into the hospital that currently holds my father, I want to scream. I have no idea at this point if I’m going to find him alive or dead. Cheryl sits in the lobby, waiting for us.
Her tear-stained face appears to have a fresh coat the minute she lays eyes on me. “I’m so sorry, Macy,” she wails into my arms, clutching me in an embrace.
“Everything is going to be okay,” I say, running my hand soothingly down her back. I don’t even believe the words coming out of my mouth. I’m not even sure who I’m trying to convince.
“What happened, Cheryl? I thought you said he was fine when we talked earlier?”
“He was fine, sweetie. It wasn’t like he was bright and cheery, but I didn’t think it was this bad. I thought this was just another one of his bad days. I went home to grab myself some lunch… and when I came back …” Her body convulses in loud sobs and I reach out to rub her shoulder.
“It’s okay, take a minute if you need to,” I whisper. I can’t understand why, at this moment, I am comforting someone else when I’m the person needing it.
She shakes her head. “When I came back, I found him lying on the floor. He was unresponsive. I checked his pulse and couldn’t find one, so I called 911. The EMTs showed up and took him away. I followed them here. I was told to wait here and they’d give me updates.”
Cheryl clings to me, her tears wetting my neck.
Realizing he is the only capable person in the room, Trevor goes into efficiency mode. “We need to find out where they’ve taken him.”
“Yes,” I say faintly. I need to see him, to know for sure that he’s truly ok. Trevor leaves Cheryl and I in the waiting room while he goes in search of answers.
I let my father down. I left him on his own knowing that he wasn’t okay. I left him knowing that only a few weeks ago, I’d almost lost him again. I feel drained, numb, and emotional all at once. As much as I want to blame Trevor, it’s not his fault. I wanted to go this weekend because I’m selfish. I wanted time with Trevor. I may have killed my father with my selfishness. My betrayal. The only person I can fully blame is myself.
This man has done absolutely everything in his power to help my father and I. Above and beyond. I’m angry, but not at him. A small piece of my mind keeps wandering to what happens next… what becomes of our relationship? I have no idea. Does he still want this? He’s admitted to feelings, but was it just in the moment or were they real? I can’t think about it right now.
Once we arrive at the hospital, Trevor takes charge in finding out that Dad is in the ER.
“He’s in the ER, Mace. Let’s go see him.”
I look to Cheryl waiting to see if she will follow.
She shakes her head. “Go on, Macy. I know he’ll want to see you first.” She said with a small smile.
A nurse shows us to the ER. The physician comes over and tells us that he’s stable, but the heart attack was a bad one. He was lucky. Lucky, I think to myself. How can someone ever be lucky from a heart attack?
“Hey, daddy,” I whisper softly and grab his hand. Tears stream down my face. He looks out of it. I assume they’ve got him drugged up so they can monitor him. I don’t need him to respond, but I want him to know the truth. “Can you hear me?” I ask.
A soft groan comes from his lips as he opens his eyes. “Macy…” He whispers.
“Shhh… don’t try and talk dad. We’re here. Just relax.”
He nods slightly.
“Daddy, I need you to tell you something about Trevor and I…”
His voice squeaks out as a small smile creeps across his ashen face. “I already know, Macy girl.”
“How?”
“You never jump head first into things, Macy. You’ve always been a thinker and a planner. There’s real love between you two. I can see it. He looks at you like I used to look at your mama. Keep that fire burning, sweetheart. Let him in. Let him love you the way he wants to.”
“But it was a lie, daddy. It was fake.”
“It’s okay Macy. It may have started that way, but things have a way of working themselves out when the time comes. You two looked guilty as sin the other day, but there is no denying the feelings you had.” I squeeze his hand.
“I won’t be here much longer, Macy. Your mama’s waiting for me. Be with Trevor. Love him fiercely and remember to never go to bed angry. It’s just a bad idea. Take it from me.”
“Shh… don’t say that daddy. You’re going to be fine. I promise. I’m here now.”
“I love you, Macy… always remember that. You are the best daughter I could have asked for in this life. Be strong and never forget who you are. Don’t forget to be brave. Most importantly live, Macy.”
“Daddy…”
The line on the heart monitor beside his bed starts to flatline and I scream out. “NO!” I shake him. “Daddy, wake up! You can’t leave me! I’m not ready!”
Trevor pulls me away while the nurses rush in, followed by the doctor we saw earlier today.
Time of his death is called and the world comes to a stop. I stop. I try to inhale but the pressure on my chest is so powerful. Every breath comes with effort. I wonder if I’m having my own heart attack. This can’t be real. This isn’t happening. But it is.
“I can’t believe you left me,” I whisper-shout to no one in particular, anger and resentment filling my voice. The memories swarm me, reminding me of a year ago when I lost Mom. The pain of it grips my chest, raw disbelief at losing both of my parents in a year’s time
The doctor and nurses leave and I’m left in the room with my father. Trevor hugs me to him like I’m going to shatter apart like beads on a broken necklace.
I whisper, “Tell Momma I miss her.” I feel a palpable change in the air. I feel a spark that is missing. I could’ve sworn that a warmth touched my shoulder. Like my father is there with me in spirit. It’s gone as quickly as I felt it and I’m alone again. The pain comes rushing back. Everything I’ve held in so far screams to be let out. I let out a long, animal-like cry, but I don’t care.
We’ve been back at the house for an hour. I feel empty, broken. I don’t know what to think or how to feel. I still can’t believe that he’s gone. Trevor left briefly to pick up Sadie. He knew I needed her. Sadie’s head is in my lap and her eyes keep closing as I rub her head. She has to know. It seems to me that dogs have a sixth sense about things, like sickness or sadness. Whatever it is, she knows it.
The drive home had been silent. I still feel guilt even with his words of encouragement. How could he have known that it was all fake? Was it even really fake? I don’t know what to make of these emotions or feelings.
“What can I do, Macy?” Trevor’s words pull me from my thoughts.
“He’s gone.” I sob. “At least he knew the truth. That this…” I pointed between us. “Was real.”
“It is real, Macy.”
“It was an arrangement. Where do we go from here? My father is gone now.”
“We can be together. I want to be there for you, baby. You mean the world to me. It’s going to be okay, Macy. He wanted this for us. He wanted us to be together.” His voice is soft, and it tears at my heart.
I shake my head. “No. No. I don’t want to hear it right now. I can’t… I can’t do this. I… I need to leave. I need to be alone right now. This is all too much.”
“Macy, please don’t do this… we can work this out. Please don’t…”
“It can’t be real, Trevor. My father is dead. I need to think about this… us.”
“I’m not giving up on us, Macy. I’ll prove it to you.”
I storm off from the living room and Sadie follows me. I slam the door and plop myself face-down on the bed, tears streaming down my face. I can’t believe he’s gone.
Sadie jumps up on the bed, lying down. A warm, rough tongue licks my face, catching the tears that are falling. I reach over and run my hand through her thick fur.
Trevor watches me as I walk out the front door half an hour later, not entirely sure what comes next.
Trevor
I knock three times on Chase and Shelby’s door the next afternoon.
Chase’s smiling face greets me. “Hey, come on in.”
I follow him through to the kitchen in the back of the house. Not much changed other than the fact that Shelby has obviously given it some feminine touches, so it doesn’t look like the bachelor pad it once was.
I set the bag I’d brought on the island counter. “I brought the beer and I can’t guarantee that I won’t end up drunk by the end of today.”
Chase laughs. I look around at his home. I can’t believe my best friend is married now. Everyone around me is moving on and I’m in the same damn place. Alone.
“Hey, pass me one of those,” Chase says, reaching for the six-pack. “Thanks.”
“You know, married looks good on you, Chase.”
“Thanks.”
“So, girls’ night out tonight?”
“Yep.” Chase grabs the beer and tips it up. “Emma called and said Aiden was watching the baby tonight. They’d been itching to get out and get some girl time in.”
I take another pull on my beer and dive in. I decided to confide in Chase, mostly because I need someone to tell me that it isn’t the end. That I have a chance to fix this. To fix us. To win my girl back. So, I start from the very beginning and tell him everything.
“Huh…” He cocks his head. “You just couldn’t be a normal couple, could you?” He smirks and shakes his head.
“Apparently not.”
“Well, what’s your plan?”
I shrug. “When Dad told me I had two options, company or marriage, I knew I could never work for him again. I’ve always liked Macy. It just sort of happened. I went into it thinking that it was just an arrangement, that we could be good friends for five years. But, fuck. I tried to fight my feelings. I tried to tell myself that I didn’t deserve her, but it was impossible. I started to fall for her. I never planned to fall in love with someone again. And then she basically told my parents off for being jerks about Juliette’s death and…”
“Wait, she told off your parents? Damn, I like her even more.”
“Yeah, dude, I’ve never seen my dad apologize. It was surreal. Things were going great with Macy. We were hitting it off so well. Hell, that’s the most alive I’ve felt since Jules died. We’d just discussed forgetting about the ultimatum and being a real couple. She seemed like she was all for it. And then she got the call from Cheryl.”
