This Crazy Love: Swoon Series, page 19
Perhaps because both of us had been through some difficult times, the idea of having children had once seemed like an impossible dream. I had carried the knowledge, because of what happened with Clint and injuries I had sustained, that there was a slim possibility I might not be able to conceive.
I found out this afternoon that, while I did have scarring, I should be able to get pregnant. I was anxious to tell Jackson.
Jackson was upstairs in the vet clinic, finishing up his day of appointments. As I walked down the hallway, I heard yet another pet owner flirting with him. This was a common occurrence. I had discovered I was not the jealous type, if only because it bemused me to watch him fend off attention. My lack of jealousy was likely assisted by the fact Jackson couldn’t keep his hands off me.
I stepped into my office, wanting to wait for a private moment to greet him. In the past year, I’d settled into my role here. Ash had come and gone a few times, and given her blessing to my relationship with Jackson, as had Remy. He had given me away at our wedding a few months prior.
Meanwhile, I had fully assumed responsibility of all administrative duties for the vet clinic, the rescue program, and the lodge. Everyone was frankly quite relieved, but most especially, Jackson. He hadn’t been lying when he said he hated the business side of the work.
I heard him say goodbye and listened as his footsteps came down the hallway. Turning to face the doorway, I found his lazy grin waiting for me. He leaned a shoulder against the door and eyed me. His shaggy brown hair looked as if he’d run a hand through it a few too many times today. It was no wonder women were always flirting with him. The navy T-shirt he wore today brought out the blue of his eyes and didn’t do a damn thing to mask his muscled chest and shoulders.
My belly spun in a flip and my pulse skittered wildly. I kept thinking my body’s response to him would slow down, but that didn’t seem to be the case. If anything, the more time we spent together only deepened our intimacy and desire.
“Hey, darlin’,” he said as he stepped through the door, approaching me where I stood by the desk. “How was your day?”
“Good,” I murmured softly, a little gasp slipping out when he crowded against me and lifted my hips onto the desk behind me.
Standing between my knees, he shifted me closer, dipping his head to dust kisses along the side of my neck. I’d discovered over the course of the year that Jackson was quite affectionate. In fact, he took every chance he got to manhandle me. I found I didn’t mind, not in the slightest. His strength was easy and gentle, always.
“I had an appointment today.”
“Oh?”
“It was my annual checkup. Since we’ve been talking a little bit about kids, I asked my doctor to check and make sure everything was okay.” My heart was beating wildly as I got the words out. This made it all feel so real, so concrete. So possible.
Jackson’s gaze sobered quickly. “You didn’t mention you were even worried,” he murmured as he brushed a loose lock of hair away from my forehead, tucking it behind my ear. A little shiver chased across my skin in the wake of his touch.
I was suddenly a little anxious and curled my fingers around the edge of his sleeve, tracing over the curve of his biceps with my thumb. “I didn’t know. I was worried a little after everything that happened,” I finally said.
Jackson remained the only person who knew the details of everything that happened with Clint, aside from my therapist. She had reminded me that I owed no one my story, that it was in my control to talk about it. He was quiet long enough that I started to worry.
But when I looked up to meet his gaze, I saw nothing but understanding and love shining back. Although his own scars were so different from mine, he understood on a deep level what it meant for me to have gone through what I did and how important it was to handle it on my terms.
“Okay then. All systems go?”
The building tension eased instantly, unspooling rapidly inside. I smiled and lifted a finger to trace along the stubble of his jaw. “Absolutely.”
“Oh good. So, when do we get started?”
I grinned, teasing my fingers into his hair along the nape of his neck as I drew him close. “Now.”
When his lips met mine, the sensation was electric, sending a hot jolt through my system. This man. Only his kisses were enough to singe me on contact.
Jackson
Another six months later
* * *
Shay stood before me, her hair falling around her shoulders in a tousle. It was still long enough to reach her waist, although the only chances I got to see it down were times like now, when it fell loose from her usual ponytail, or when I got her naked.
She was a rather practical woman. At the moment, she was laughing as Mischief flicked his tail and trotted off into the pasture.
I opened the gate and stepped into the small paddock from the side. “How’d it go?” I asked as I approached her.
She glanced at me, still smiling. “Let’s just say you chose his name well.”
I laughed as I caught her hand in mine and reeled her to me. When she came against me, I felt the soft curve of her belly. My mind spun back to a year and a half ago, when she came strolling back into my life.
Only six months ago, we decided to try to start a family. If you had asked me before—even when I was deep into falling in love with Shay—if I thought I wanted to start a family, I would’ve told you that was crazy. That was when I thought I understood loss. I believed it made life easier if you didn’t set yourself up for more pain and grief by letting anyone matter too much.
But then Shay came along, and reminded me—or rather, taught me—how wrong that lesson was. I would feel as if I lost half of myself if I lost Shay, but what we had made everything that much more precious. The sun shone a little brighter in every moment because of her. It wasn’t worth it to live half a life.
Although I would never let go of the lingering fury with her ex, she was at peace, and that was all that really mattered. And now, startling us both, she had just passed her first trimester. We had an appointment in a month to find out if it was a boy or a girl. I was worried I’d scar my tongue over the next six months from biting it to keep from telling her to be careful all the time.
This part of loving her nearly killed me. I knew how much it mattered to her to feel in control, so I held my worries close to my chest. For her, I would do anything.
She leaned up, still laughing, and catching my lips in a kiss. In a hot second, I forgot where we were. I threaded my hand in her hair and fit my mouth over hers for one of those hot, hungry kisses that I could never get enough of.
When I drew away, she was smiling against my lips. “What?” I asked.
“I think I’ll stop riding for now. Even though, my doctor says I don’t have to. I know it worries you, and Mischief can get a little wild.”
My heart was thudding, hard and fast in my chest, the way it did whenever anything reminded me just how much she meant to me.
“Really?” I murmured against her lips, my forehead resting against hers.
“Uh-huh. It’s not worth the worry. I might go for a ride on old Cinnamon, but all he does is amble. It’s almost too much to ask him to trot. There’s plenty to do with Mischief for training without being on his back.”
“I won’t pretend I’m not relieved,” I finally said, sliding my hand over the subtle curve of her belly. To me, it had been obvious she was pregnant since the day the test was positive, but Shay insisted it wasn’t that obvious. We finally planned to share the news with everyone else tonight.
Leaning back, she smiled. “Of course you’re relieved.”
I considered myself an easygoing man. For the most part, I was. Yet, I had discovered that when it came to Shay, she alone had a unique ability to send my heart to a wild, rushing beat, with worry spinning through me.
“Hey,” she said, her smile fading slowly. “What’s that look for?”
“It’s just, you mean so damn much. I can hold it together, right?”
This time, her smile was soft, her green gaze holding mine and reminding me that while I wanted to shelter her, in so many ways, she was everything to me.
“Of course.” Her fingertip traced my mouth, then she was tugging me down to her again. “I think we should go to the tack room.”
I laughed, lifting her against me as her legs curled around my hips. It was rather convenient that the lodge guests didn’t come over to this part of the farm often. Otherwise, we might have to curtail our rather frequent public displays of affection and tendency to run off and get naked wherever we felt like it.
With my girl held tight against me, I dipped my head, nipping softly at the salty skin on her neck. “Love you.”
“Love you more,” she teased.
Hours later, when we were in bed, the cool autumn air filtering through the windows, Shay’s skin was damp against mine. I lay awake, debating whether I needed to schedule an appointment with her doctor and make sure I clarified the limits of sexual activity for a pregnant woman.
Shay had instigated this tonight. After our interlude in the barn. I couldn’t say no to her. Ever.
Thank you for reading This Crazy Love - I hope you loved Jackson & Shay’s story!
* * *
Up next in the Swoon Series is Wait For Me - Lucas & Valentina’s story. It all starts with a package that ends up in the wrong hands. Lucas is a single father who takes tall, dark & brooding to new levels.
* * *
Valentina has a problem she’d like to solve. Namely, ditch her virginity. Simple enough, right?
* * *
Lucas & Valentina’s unlikely romance is hot, hot, hot & oh-so-swoony. Don’t miss their story!
* * *
Keep reading for a sneak peek!
* * *
Be sure to sign up for my newsletter for the latest news, teasers & more! Click here to sign up: http://jhcroixauthor.com/subscribe/
Excerpt: Wait For Me
Valentina
Rounding the corner in the hallway, I ran smack into a wall. A wall that turned out to be a person. With two boxes cradled in my arms and a pile of mail on top of that, everything tumbled to the floor. Flustered, I looked straight up into the dark green gaze of Lucas Cole. If he even noticed I’d just dumped mail all over the floor, he didn’t show it.
But that was nothing unusual. Neither was the fact my pulse lunged and my body got hot all over. Lucas had that effect on me, and probably most women. He took that whole tall, dark, and broody thing to heart.
“I’m sorry!” I blurted out. “Let me just get all this …”
My words trailed off because the bad luck of literally running into him only amped up my flustered state and left me breathless. I leaned over to scoop up the mail and bumped my head into his forearm. Dear God. Since when were forearms that hard?
“No worries,” Lucas replied as he handed me the mail he had already gathered.
My fingers brushed his as I took it, causing a zing of electricity to race up my arm. Before I could formulate a response, he leaned over and picked up the two small packages. As he handed them over, my brain fired off a thought.
“Oh, one of these is yours,” I said, my words coming out rushed.
Juggling the mail and the boxes, I gave him one box. Lucas took it, hooking it in the bend of his elbow. “Thanks. See you around.”
With a brief nod, he continued down the hallway. I remained frozen, waiting until I heard his footsteps recede. At the sound of the door closing behind him, I sagged against the wall. Of all the people to run into, it had to be Lucas.
Lucas worked at Stolen Hearts Lodge like me. He was also the sexiest man I’d ever laid eyes on. I could hardly be near him without my body going haywire, as evidenced by this brief encounter. I knew without a doubt that Lucas was waaaaay out of my league.
After several deep breaths, I carried on, dropping off the mail in the office and heading to my cabin.
Climbing the steps, I turned to look behind me. The setting sun cast the mountains in shadow. I didn’t linger long, not with the small box in my hands. I’d gotten so frazzled seeing Lucas that I forgot about my own mail until I was almost here.
I let myself into my small cabin. This was the first place I’d lived away from my family, so it was ridiculously awesome for me. With only one bedroom, one bathroom, and a pretty view of the Blue Ridge Mountains, it was tiny, but I loved it. Like loved it, loved it.
I set the small square box on my dresser. As I held the thin blade of my pocketknife over it, my eyes landed on the label. My heartbeat lunged, and my belly spun in a nervous flip. I was expecting a package, but this was not it. For those of us who worked at Stolen Hearts Lodge, all mail came addressed to the lodge, so it was important to pay attention to the return address. Much too late, I noticed this box had the name of a construction supply company on the return address label.
There was only one other person who had received a package in the mail today. Lucas. I’d handed him the wrong one.
“Oh, shit!”
I clapped my hand over my mouth. I didn’t know if I’d ever get over that habit. Despite my parents’ best efforts, my mouth had a mind of its own. The issue of having the wrong box was worthy of more than one oh shit, though.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
If only I could apply that word to something beyond a curse. My complete lack of in that area was part of my problem right now. I just gave Lucas Cole a box with …
There was a sharp knock on my door. Startled, I dropped the pocketknife, jumping at the sound of it clattering to the floor. As I leaned over to pick it up, my elbow collided with the corner of the Bible my mother had mailed to me the other day. Like I needed a Bible. The plump book thudded to the floor just as another knock sounded.
My heart was pounding wildly, and I was already about to melt from embarrassment even though I didn’t know who was at the door. Not for sure. Ignoring the small mess I’d made on the floor, I squared my shoulders and turned and strode to the door, curling my hand around the knob.
No need to freak out. It’s probably not him. On the heels of a deep breath, I opened it and found myself staring into Lucas’s green gaze for the second time in an hour.
Shit, fuck, hell, damn.
That was technically only three swear words, and all of them stayed in my brain. You know, like a silent vowel except the entire word was silent. Hell was a place, so it didn’t count as a swear. Or so I’d convinced myself at some point during my childhood.
Lucas stood there with an opened box in his hands.
Oh. My. God.
He’d opened the box.
I had the worst luck. Or maybe it was the most embarrassing luck. Was it too much to ask that I have a little dignity around the one man who tended to leave me feeling all swoony and ridiculous?
My eyes, because they were naughty and ignored my mind, meandered over Lucas, taking in his bold features—a strong nose, angled cheekbones, a square jaw with a dark trimmed beard, and sensual lips. Okay, his face was too much. Throw in his to-die-for body—all rangy muscle—and well, I thought God had been a bit too generous in the looks department with Lucas. Just sayin’.
Lucas stared at me quietly, his gaze scanning my face. My cheeks heated the moment I saw his lips quirk with a hint of a smile.
“I think this belongs to you,” he said, his voice like sweet sorghum, sliding over me with its slow drawl.
My face was on fire. Hell, it wasn’t just my face. I was on fire.
“Um, are you sure?” I hedged.
“The address was for the lodge, but it has your name on the receipt in the box,” he replied smoothly, losing the battle against his smile.
Not fair! The first time I got to see Lucas smile and it was all because I was an idiot.
“Oh,” I replied brilliantly.
He held the box forward, and my eyes—still disobeying me—dropped to look in the box at the hot pink vibrator. It wasn’t even hidden. Encased in clear hard plastic, I wouldn’t have been surprised if it jumped out of the box and said hello to me, so bold was its presence.
I swallowed and looked back up at Lucas. I couldn’t think, much less speak. I now understood how clichés came to be. I was quite certain I might actually die of embarrassment. I was hot all over, my pulse had taken off like a rocket—not joking, it could’ve propelled me into space—and I felt lightheaded.
Lucas’s voice came to me from a distance. “Valentina? Are you okay?”
Nope. Definitely not okay. Everything blurred, and my legs felt wobbly. Then, I fell over.
I seriously fainted in front of Lucas hot-as-sin Cole while he held a box with the vibrator I ordered in his hands.
Lucas
Valentina Smith stared at me, her blue eyes wide, and her cheeks nearly as pink as the vibrator in the box. I was doing my damnedest to keep my response to her in check, but you have no idea how hard that was. Well, some things were most definitely hard. Valentina should’ve come with a warning sign.
She had curly red hair that practically begged for a man to tangle his hands in it, round blue eyes, and cheeks with freckles dusted over them like gold glitter. She was on the short side and had nothing but curves. She was sex and sin with this hint of innocence to her that made me fucking crazy.
To deal with my out-of-control response to her, I generally ignored her. However, when I tore open this little box and discovered what was inside, holy fucking hell, I had no choice but to come return the package to her. Any other alternative involved someone else, and I could only imagine the less people involved, the better.
