This Crazy Love: Swoon Series, page 13
“How ya doing?” I called over.
The woman rolled her head to the side, the rain falling through the driver’s side window and streaking the blood on her face. “Um, okay,” she said, her voice reedy.
She was pinned in the car in such a way I knew this rescue wasn’t going to be easy. “Okay,” I said calmly, as I reached through and rested my fingers against the driver’s neck, relieved to feel a steady pulse.
I spoke into my radio. “They’re both alive, but we’re going to need several of us down here to deal with this.”
“Gotcha,” Dawson replied.
“The passenger is conscious, and the driver is unconscious, but he’s got a pulse.”
“What do we need?” Dawson asked in return.
“I can’t clarify the extent of their injuries at this time. We might need to stretcher them out, but I’m not sure. We need at least two more down here to start.”
I figured that would give me enough for us to assess if we needed stretchers or not. Dawson replied in assent. While I waited for more support, I proceeded to investigate what we were dealing with, the best I could under the cramped circumstances.
The next few hours passed in a blur. I handled it as well as could be expected. In these situations, I usually went down first. I was the lead on our team and the most experienced climber in the crew. When I first returned from the war, I had my doubts about returning to this work, but it was the only thing that kept me sane, in a strange way.
In the darkness and rain, I only had one flashback, and I beat it back quickly. It wasn’t the rain that triggered it, nor the darkness, although that might have had a hand in it. Rather, it was when the driver became conscious while I was waiting for two others from my team to rappel down.
The man had groaned and asked in a disoriented voice, “What the fuck?”
The night I’d been with my team doing a sweep of an apartment complex to find a target, one of my closest friends had gotten blown to smithereens by an IED. He too had been unconscious for a few minutes, and asked that very question when he came awake briefly.
In the darkness, by that car, my chest tightened painfully. Grief could come spinning sideways like a knife flying through the sky sometimes. It sliced at you, a sharp, burning reminder of what was lost.
Hours later, I leaned against Nick Hudson’s desk and ran my hands through my hair with a sigh. Nick was the administrative supervisor for emergency operations for Stolen Hearts Valley. “Damn lucky they were. That’s all I got to say,” I said.
Nick’s silver hair glinted under the fluorescent lights as he nodded slowly. “Damn straight. They blew right through the guardrail. I keep telling the town they need to reinforce those. Some of those side roads are just too dicey.”
“Based on the estimated speed, I don’t know that any guard rail would’ve kept them off that cliff,” I commented.
He cocked his head to the side and nodded. “True. You get your ass out of here and get some rest, okay?”
I nodded in return before pushing my hips away from his desk and heading out into the darkness. The rain had slowed to a drizzle. I was soaked through, but I wanted to get home for my shower.
Driving home, there was a tug, like a little string on my heart. Shay was home, and my heart knew it.
I knew, I fucking knew, I shouldn’t have slept with her through to the morning. I shouldn’t have kissed her tonight before we left the office. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. It didn’t really matter what I should’ve done. Because I hadn’t listened to a lick of common sense.
All I’d known was I didn’t like the sound of Shay having a nightmare. I’d been downright furious at that bullshit comment that woman made after her appointment this afternoon. I mentally corrected myself. It was yesterday afternoon now, seeing as it was well past midnight.
It wasn’t that I hadn’t known Shay’s ex had been splashed across the papers when everything went down. Hell, his family was way too high-profile to avoid it. Yet, it was fucking bullshit for anybody to question what happened. Remy had been worried as hell about Shay facing that media firestorm. He came home for a visit, and even considered moving back, because he was so worried. When it had all originally gone to hell for Shay, according to Remy, she wanted to see out the lease at the condo because the rent was already paid for the year.
Tonight should have reminded me why I couldn’t be the kind of man she needed. Under the wrong circumstances, someone saying “what the fuck” left me breathless for a minute, my heart beating so hard it almost made me sick.
But god fucking dammit, Shay had gotten to me.
I cut the lights on my truck once I turned down the drive to the house. I knew this road blind and in the dark. Seeing as it was going on two in the morning, I figured she must be asleep, and I didn’t want the headlights to wake her. Keeping my tread light, I walked up the stairs, pausing by her door, relieved to hear absolutely nothing.
Weary and chilled from working in the rain for hours, I took a hot shower, staying in there long enough for the heat to wash the chill away. Although summer would be here soon enough and the nights would be warm, a rainy spring evening in the Blue Ridge Mountains was enough to make you cold to the bone.
I climbed into my bed, more aware than I wanted to be of the subtle pull to have Shay here beside me. Oh, there was lust wrapped up in it, the temptation to lose myself in the wild attraction between us. Yet, there was also a yearning for more of the way I felt when I was with her. Connected, linked by invisible threads that had more strength than I could’ve ever suspected.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jackson
Sleep wasn’t claiming me, not in the hours of the dark morning. My thoughts did funny things when I had flashbacks. That one had been so brief, yet quite powerful. If the mind were a room, it was like the flashbacks came in and knocked everything out of order. You never knew where anything was going to land. My mind was spinning on its wheels. One wheel was filled with thoughts of Shay and my frustration with what I had walked into with her. The other wheel spun with regret, the same record playing again and again and again.
There was what I knew intellectually—war sometimes made people die. Sometimes those were people who mattered deeply, and sometimes you carried scars carved from the mixed feelings about a war tearing up another world. Then, there was the emotional piece.
Mike had been one of my closest friends. We’d worked our way up together in the Marines and shared many missions when we were together in Special Ops. When you work at that elite level, trust is beyond critical. His death had left deep scars of grief.
Rolling onto my side and adjusting the pillow, I looked at the clock. Somehow a full hour had passed since I climbed in bed. It was now three a.m. I toyed with getting up. There were always animals to feed, or a list a mile long of things to do.
Blessedly, sleep took hold with Shay dancing through my dreams. I woke with a start, the sun shining brightly and falling in a wide path across my bed.
I woke from a dream about Shay. It started out good—because she was nothing but good to me—but it had taken a tangled turn. Somehow, my dream state had manufactured a recollection of her ex beating her in that parking lot.
It wasn’t as if that recollection came from nothing. Although I certainly hadn’t been there—hell, I was nowhere near her at the time—pictures had been splashed all over the news. Not many, but enough. A blurry photo from a distance of her ex shoving her, the crime scene tape, and blood on the pavement. Not much, but just enough to make me crazy.
I was tense all over and my heart was pounding so hard, the beat vibrated through my entire body. Anger and sadness twined like vines together inside. I hated what she had gone through. I wished I could personally take down her ex. Kicking the covers back, I stood and walked into the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror.
My hair stood up in spiked tufts and my eyes were bleary. I laughed humorlessly. I suppose it was fucking lucky that her ex was locked up. I couldn’t trust what I would do if he wasn’t. I knew Remy felt exactly the same way.
The moment I thought about Remy, a pang of guilt stabbed at me. Remy would most definitely have an opinion about Shay and me. I sure as hell had opinions about who Ash got involved with. The guilt was even stronger because I knew what Shay went through, and because I knew this thing between us could never be more than it was. No matter how much I wanted more.
Although my flashbacks had lessened, I still didn’t have faith I could be the kind of man any woman deserved, much less Shay. With a muttered curse, I turned away from the mirror and climbed into the shower. At this point, it wasn’t to get clean, seeing as my last shower had only been hours earlier. It was just a way to wake myself up.
Making my way downstairs, I was relieved I didn’t have any vet appointments today. I had enough else going on. In my state, I didn’t need to be dealing with too many people. The animals were no trouble. It was always the people.
When I walked into the kitchen, I found a sticky note on the counter in front of the coffee maker.
Coffee is ready to go. Just hit start. I didn’t know what time you’d be up. There’re also scrambled eggs and sausage ready. I left a plate in the refrigerator. All you need to do is heat it up.
Shay
Out of nowhere, a bolt of grief hit me. Enough to make me grit my teeth. Grief for what I had lost.
Shay was just, well, she was just sweet. Hell, she was a lot more than sweet. She was hot as fucking hell when she was skin to skin with me.
Things like this—having coffee ready for me, making breakfast, simply caring about my welfare—these were all things I told myself I couldn’t have. It was best if I kept my life circumscribed to friends who didn’t expect too much, and animals. Although my father couldn’t have known it when he formalized the rescue program at the farm, it was a fitting endeavor for me after I returned from the war.
I wasn’t looking to be rescued. I certainly didn’t need it, but as different animals passed through here, each carrying a complicated past, I learned from each one. I threw myself into the challenge of getting the dogs who hid in corners and wouldn’t look at anyone to eventually relax and make eye contact. Give me a dog with anxiety-based aggression due to some asshole owner beating the shit out of it, and I would work for as long it took to show the dog that not all humans would hurt him. Give me a horse who had been starved and left for nothing and was skittish around people, and I would give her the same patience.
None of that was hard. Nothing I had to work for. And it filled me up in a way nothing else would. But when it came to people, especially people who deserved more than I could give, well, I was at a loss.
Later on that afternoon, I heard from one of the guys when they were returning from a guided hike that a section of fencing at the far end of the pasture had been broken through. We had plenty of land, and I preferred to let the horses roam, so the pasture went beyond the open field into the foothills of the mountains. Every so often, a horse broke through.
I was willing to bet money it was Mischief living up to his name. Again. I debated hopping on my steady old gelding, Ranger, to ride out and investigate, but decided against it. Mischief tended to view any other horse as a reason to play.
I got distracted by a few other things before I had time to go take a look. When I headed into the trees and up the incline into the foothills, I looked up when I heard a voice.
Shay was ahead of me on the trail. This wasn’t technically a hiking trail, per se, but it was a path the horses frequently used, so it was well worn. Mischief walked along Shay’s side, his head low as she rubbed his ears, crooning softly to him.
She hadn’t seen me yet, so I waited until they got closer. “Hey there,” I finally said.
Mischief’s ears perked up as he lifted his head. Shay followed his gaze, her eyes wide. She looked startled and frozen stiff, but masked her reaction quickly. “Oh, Jackson. I told Dawson I was going to look for Mischief. Dawson said to tell you he’d repair the fence this evening. Since Mischief’s pretty comfortable with me, I figured I could catch him.”
“Dawson must’ve gotten tied up and forgot to let me know. No worries. It just saves me the time trying to round him up.”
I reached into my pocket, pulling out one of his preferred grain treats. When I held my palm out flat, Mischief nibbled the treat up, rubbing his forehead against Shay’s shoulder when he was done. I turned, falling into step beside Shay. She gave off a jittery and restless energy. I had to bite my damn tongue to keep from asking if she was okay.
We hadn’t had much of a chance to talk since last night after that woman made her fucked up comment about Shay. Dinner was a crowded affair as usual, and then I’d been called out.
Now didn’t seem to be the time to bring that up. I knew I had startled Shay. Startling her was not a good thing, and I didn’t like to think about why.
“Thanks for the coffee and breakfast this morning,” I said, my eyes on the trail ahead of us.
“Of course. I knew you didn’t have appointments today, and Dani told me you were out until almost two in the morning. I figured you could use the coffee. Plus, you know me, I can’t help myself, so I had to make some breakfast.”
Shay loved to cook. Back when we were all younger and I used to spend the night with Remy, she was always in the kitchen with her mother.
“Of course you did,” I told her with a chuckle.
We walked the rest the way in silence, aside from the occasional snort from Mischief. I almost reached out and caught her hand in mine, realizing what I was about to do in the nick of time. Danger, danger.
As much as I wanted to touch her, I had to keep things on an even keel. When we reached the barn, Shay led Mischief into his stall, quickly brushing him down. I was relieved to be distracted with chores since it was feeding time. Without even needing to discuss it, we both got to work. Between the rescues and the horses, it took roughly an hour.
I was in the tack room later, hanging up a few loose leads. This room also served as storage. It was basically a catchall for odds and ends. The door opened, the spring hinge squeaking slightly, and I glanced back to see Shay entering. She had a few halters looped over her shoulder and a bag of the treats for the dogs in her hand.
She glanced up, her cheeks flushing slightly when she saw me. “I think that’s about it,” she commented as she turned away to hang up the halters. “Gloria keeps sneaking food from one of the dogs.”
I grinned. “She is a pig, although they don’t quite deserve the connotation.”
Shay smiled in return, and I was relieved to see her earlier tension appeared to have dissipated. Without thinking, I closed the distance between us. She was standing by the door, with one hand resting on an empty saddle rack.
By the time I noticed my body was following the magnetic pull to her, I was standing right in front of her. The light was dim in here, with nothing but the lingering rays of the setting sun angling through the windows at the back.
The rose gold-tinged light shimmered in her hair. It had fallen loose from its ponytail since we parted ways to take care of the evening chores and was in a tousle around her shoulders. Her tongue darted out, moistening her lips.
Sometime in the last few moments, my cock had begun to swell. The second her scent drifted to me, blood shot to my groin, and I felt the press of my zipper.
Shay was so fucking beautiful. I didn’t know what to make of the depth of my response to her. I’d known her for what felt like forever. The memories of those halcyon days of childhood were like faded sepia photographs.
Remy and I were rough-and-tumble boys, and Shay and Ash were always running along behind us back then, annoying the hell out of us. When I was old enough to notice her as a woman, I had more discipline about her. Perhaps it was because not only did I have Remy to contend with, but the shared disapproval of our parents if I made a move on my best friend’s little sister. By the time she was in high school and flat-out gorgeous as she filled out, I was in college. Fortunately, distance and only passing encounters kept me in check.
I went off to the military, and my life changed, everything else falling to the wayside. Meanwhile, Shay started dating Clint Glover with his high-profile political father. I recalled Remy complaining about him, thinking he was a jerk even before Remy knew how violent he was to Shay.
And now, here she was. In all of her glory, she was sexy as fucking hell—take my breath away and knock my knees out kind of sexy. I needed all of my discipline to keep myself in check. Yet, whenever I was close to her, my best intentions dissolved into smoke.
In the quiet of that small room, I couldn’t resist kissing her. My hand slipped out, my thumb brushing over the wild beat of her pulse along the soft skin of her neck. Raw, fierce desire took hold.
The moment my lips met hers, an electric jolt hit my system. Shay tensed slightly, and then let out a soft sigh, her tongue darting out and slicking against mine. Seeing as I had no control over the lust ruling me, everything she did was like pouring gasoline on a fire.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Shay
I was burning up inside, fire sparking in my veins. Jackson crowded against me, and my back bumped into the door behind me. I was relieved for the support. Otherwise, I would’ve simply melted.
I was messy and dirty after a long day. I smelled like dust and dirt, and probably carried the scent of every animal I’d encountered today.
Sexy definitely wasn’t how I felt. That didn’t seem to matter to Jackson. Once his lips met mine, I forgot everything. His kisses were something else. They made me crazy—masterful, slow, and teasing. His tongue tangled with mine before he drew back, dropping soft kisses at the corners of my mouth and catching my bottom lip in his before diving in again. My nipples were tight and achy, and I could feel his arousal pressing against my lower belly. My sex clenched, and my panties were wet.
