First Course, page 11
~Mom
Devon wiped a tear from her eye. She sometimes forgot how wise her mother was amid all the playful banter in their family. Devon did know that she was lucky to be born into the family she had. People didn’t choose their family. Devon got the luck of the draw. No one would ever know her as well as her mother. That was something Devon did understand. She took a deep breath and started the car. “Patience,” she thought. Devon chuckled. “I hope she doesn’t mean with everything.”
***
Carrie spooned ice cream into her mouth and went to reach for the remote when her phone started to buzz.
“Hey,” she greeted the caller.
“What are you doing?” Devon asked.
“Ringing in the New Year with Ben and Jerry. How’s it going where you are?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Carrie moved to sit on the edge of the couch. Images of Leigh Matthews pitching a fit over rolls or forks flooded her mind. “Why don’t you know?” she asked cautiously.
“Because I’m waiting for you to open the door,” Devon replied. Carrie heard the words, but they made no sense to her. “Carrie?”
“What?”
“Could you please come open the door?” Devon requested.
Carrie walked slowly to her front door, unlocked it, and pried it open. She immediately met with Devon’s triumphant grin. “What on earth are you doing here?” Carrie asked.
Devon held up the grocery bag in her hands. “If you let me in, you’ll find out.”
Carrie pushed the door open wider. Devon set off for the kitchen. Carrie stood in shock for a minute before gently closing the door and following the path Devon had just taken. “Dev?”
Devon was unpacking groceries onto Carrie’s kitchen island. She looked at Carrie and let her eyes travel methodically over her girlfriend. Carrie’s hair was tied back in a messy ponytail, she had her glasses on, and was sporting a pair of R2-D2 pajama pants and a T-shirt. Devon lifted an eyebrow and grinned. “All decked out for Ben and Jerry, I see,” she teased. Carrie groaned and set her glasses on the counter. Devon took a few steps forward.
Carrie could feel her heart beginning to beat wildly. Devon always looked amazing. Something about the way Devon was looking at her made her entire body hum, or maybe it was looking at Devon that was to blame. Devon had a pair of dark gray jeans on and a white sweater under her black leather jacket. Her make-up was flawless, bringing out the blue of her eyes. Carrie began to stammer as Devon drew closer. “I… Dev… I should go change…”
“Don’t you dare,” Devon said. Her hand went to Carrie’s ponytail and released it. Tenderly, her fingers traced a line over Carrie’s cheek, and she watched as Carrie’s eyes fluttered closed. Devon leaned in closer. Everything disappeared. She didn’t care about anything except the woman in front of her. “I love you,” Devon whispered. Carrie’s eyes opened, silently questioning what she had just heard. “I do. I love you,” she said.
Carrie reached out and caressed Devon’s face. “I love you too.”
Devon smiled. Her eyes searched Carrie’s for any hesitation. She shook her head slightly in disbelief. She loved Carrie more that she could fathom. Every nerve in her body seemed to begin to sing and she hadn’t even kissed Carrie yet. There was no doubt left where this moment was about to lead them. Devon placed her lips on Carrie’s softly, a silent declaration of much more than her love. She felt Carrie’s tongue meet hers in a tender caress; a promise that this moment mattered. This moment was the first of many that would come to pass. It was nothing less than a commitment. Carrie mattered to Devon more than anyone had ever mattered in her life. The past faded away in Carrie’s kiss. Devon felt no sense of urgency, only a desire to prolong their connection as long as her life permitted her to.
Carrie pulled away from their embrace slightly and looked up at Devon. “Dev,” she coaxed Devon to open her eyes. She smiled lovingly. “I can’t believe you are here.”
“I didn’t want to start a new year without you,” Devon said.
Carrie smiled. She didn’t want to think about starting any day without Devon. She would have expected that to scare her. The only thing that frightened Carrie was the thought of Devon walking away. Looking at Devon, that fear vanished. She pulled Devon’s head down and kissed her again, determined to communicate every ounce of emotion and desire Devon commanded within her. She was surprised when she noted the trembling in Devon’s hands as they traveled up and down her back. Carrie pulled away, slightly breathless. She smiled at Devon and began to remove Devon’s jacket. Devon looked as if she might start to cry. Carrie understood. She had begun to wonder herself if love would ever find her. Devon had struggled with that same doubt. Carrie didn’t need Devon to give her details to know that; she knew Devon. She draped the jacket over a bar stool and took Devon’s hand.
Devon’s breath hitched audibly, and Carrie stopped for a second. She squeezed Devon’s hand and smiled reassuringly. How she had fallen into the role of aggressor was a mystery even to Carrie. The fact that she had, reaffirmed for Carrie the depth of what coursed between her and Devon. Devon’s confidence faltered now. Carrie somehow understood that Devon’s apprehension was not about Carrie’s love, but about loving Carrie. Carrie led Devon through her house, and up the stairs to her bedroom. She closed the door and turned back to look at Devon.
“Carrie…” Tears began to roll down Devon’s cheeks.
Carrie stepped into Devon’s arms and wiped the tears from Devon’s cheek. “I know, Dev.”
Devon brushed an errant hair out of Carrie’s eyes. “You are so beautiful.”
“That’s just how you see me,” Carrie said in her typical self-effacing manner.
“I do see you,” Devon replied.
Carrie often felt eclipsed by the people in her life, particularly Darlene. Devon knew that. Devon saw Carrie. She saw who Carrie was, not simply the successful business entrepreneur, not only a devoted friend, not just the doting aunt, or the witty academic. Devon recognized all those pieces of Carrie. She also saw beneath all of it. Every part of Carrie left Devon breathless—her intellect, her humor, her compassion, the sound of her laughter, the sparkle in her eyes when something amused her, and the fire that lit her irises a golden brown when she was frustrated or angry. Devon loved all of it. She considered Carrie’s eyes now and saw something new. She’d recognized love in them long before she had shown up at Carrie’s door intending to cook dinner for them. She’d witnessed the flash of desire Carrie’s eyes revealed when Devon would touch her. There wasn’t any adjective or emotion to attach to what seemed to burn in Carrie’s gaze now. Understanding, lust, love, friendship, compassion, trust—need—that was what Devon saw. Devon’s heart skipped several beats. Carrie needed Devon as much as Devon needed Carrie.
“I need you,” Devon whispered as her lips took possession of Carrie’s yet again.
Carrie’s hands slid underneath Devon’s sweater. The softness of Devon’s skin stopped her heart for a split second. Devon. Devon’s lips had strayed to her neck, nipping gently at her flesh. Carrie’s fingers pressed into Devon’s sides. She needed Devon. She needed to feel Devon. She needed to touch Devon, to lose herself in all that Devon had to offer. And, she needed to give Devon every piece of herself. She’d surrendered her heart the moment she’d seen Devon Brine wiping her hands on her apron. She’d surrendered any hope of running away the first-time Devon had kissed her. She’d surrendered all her arguments. Now, she would surrender her soul, trusting that Devon would keep her safe. Carrie pushed Devon’s sweater higher until Devon took her cue and removed it. Carrie lost her breath at the sight of Devon standing in her bedroom in jeans and a bra.
“Jesus,” Carrie licked her lips.
Devon smiled. Carrie was adorable standing in front of her in her pajamas; Carrie’s eyes glazed by desire. Devon kissed Carrie tenderly and removed Carrie’s T-shirt. She felt Carrie’s hands reach for the clasps of her bra, and chuckled when Carrie tossed it aside hurriedly. Devon pulled Carrie to her, delighting in the feel of their flesh pressed against one another. She sighed when Carrie’s lips begin to deliver faint kisses across her collarbone.
“Carrie,” Devon barely managed to speak Carrie’s name.
Carrie’s hands were lovingly traveling up and down Devon’s back at the same time Carrie’s lips continued to descend over the swell of Devon’s breasts. Devon held onto Carrie’s hips as if her life depended on it, if not her ability to stay standing. Carrie’s touch was reverent, as if she were worshiping Devon’s form. Devon gasped when the warmth of Carrie’s tongue circled her nipple. She briefly entertained the notion that making love with Carrie Maynard might kill her. Her heart was thundering with a force Devon had not realized it could possess. Carrie pushed Devon backward toward the bed. Devon closed her eyes and forced herself to pull Carrie’s face to meet hers.
Carrie’s knowing smile surprised her. Carrie cupped Devon’s cheek. “I love you, Dev. Right now, I want to show you how much I love you.”
Devon swallowed the lump in her throat. Carrie’s hands addressed the button on Devon’s jeans. She kept her eyes locked with Devon’s as she pushed them to the floor. Carrie unzipped Devon’s boots, pulled them off, and then gently guided Devon back to the bed so she could pull off the offending jeans. She hovered over Devon and smiled. Devon surprised her by swiftly grabbing hold of Carrie’s pajama pants. Devon struggled to get Carrie free and Carrie laughed.
“Let me help you,” Carrie offered. She pitched them onto the floor beside Devon’s pile of clothing.
Devon’s hand snaked out and traced a pathway from the hollow of Carrie’s throat slowly down to her belly button and up again. Carrie’s head fell forward, and Devon guided her back onto the bed. Devon’s skin tingled everywhere Carrie’s body touched hers. She pulled Carrie down for a heated kiss, passion taking hold of the love that Carrie’s touch communicated. Hearing Carrie’s breath as it became increasingly desperate urged Devon on. Her fingertips grazed over Carrie’s nipples playfully. She felt a warm rush travel through her body when Carrie’s back arched above her.
Carrie’s fingers found Devon’s breasts, playing in time with the way Devon touched her. Devon’s eyes were riveted to the sight of Carrie moving above her. Carrie moaned when Devon’s fingers pinched her nipples lightly, and it sent a pulse directly through Devon’s core. No fantasy could have hoped to capture the sensuality of Carrie swaying above her.
“Dev,” Carrie choked on her lover’s name.
Devon’s hips rose and met with Carrie’s unspoken request, bringing them together intimately. Devon quivered beneath Carrie. Carrie’s mouth took possession of hers, swallowing Devon’s plea for release. They had barely begun, and Devon was already spinning out of control. Carrie’s hands began to wander over Devon’s stomach, and Devon sighed into their kiss.
Carrie’s touch meandered across Devon’s thigh, slowly inward. She struggled to fill her lungs when her fingers met with the warmth of Devon’s arousal. She deepened their kiss, desperate to connect to Devon. She let her fingers tenderly glide over Devon’s center. Devon’s hands moved to Carrie’s hips, grasping on to her forcefully. Devon’s hips began to move without her permission, begging Carrie to continue, to touch her, to drive her to the edge of insanity and push her over.
Carrie gladly lost herself in Devon. Devon tasted like sweet coffee with a hint of mint. Carrie smiled inwardly. Devon was addicted to coffee; an addiction she feebly attempted to cover with Tic Tacs. Carrie delighted in the way Devon’s tongue began to fight for dominance as she fell helplessly into Carrie’s grasp. Carrie broke their kiss; Devon arching her back in protest. Carrie looked down at Devon. Devon’s eyes were still closed, her lips were parted slightly, and her cheeks were flushed with desire. Carrie took in the sight. It heightened her need to feel Devon. She dropped kisses down Devon’s throat until she reached a straining nipple. Carrie happily accepted Devon’s offer. She teased the small pink tip with her tongue. Devon’s grip on her tightened. The silent pleas of Devon’s movements spoke Devon’s desires more clearly than any words could have. Carrie obeyed their request. She slipped inside Devon gently and covered a nipple with her mouth, sucking gently.
“Carrie!” Devon cried out. “Please,” Devon began to beg, but her body betrayed her. Carrie could sense Devon’s inner battle. Release or torture? It was sweet torture. It was equally agonizing for Carrie—agonizingly delicious. Her body moved against Devon’s, enraptured by the softness of Devon’s skin, the taste of her flesh, and the scent of her faint floral perfume. Carrie’s fingers continued their tender assault, thrusting gently, but insistently in and out of Devon. Carrie needed more. She needed all of Devon, every piece, every part, every inch. Devon gasped when she felt Carrie’s body slide against hers, steadily lower. Before Devon could form a coherent thought, Carrie’s tongue had replaced her fingers, bathing Devon in warm strokes that left Devon trembling to her core.
“Carrie,” Devon felt tears mounting again.
Carrie’s hands reached up and took hold of Devon’s. Devon gripped them just as Carrie sent her soaring to heights she had never dreamed possible. Devon’s body hung in limbo, straining to be released. It felt to Devon as if she were suspended in midair, wind swirling around her. Carrie’s thumb caressed Devon’s hand just as she moved to flick her tongue over Devon’s greatest need. Devon’s world exploded in a colorful array of sensation. She felt her body as it lifted from the bed. Carrie held Devon’s right hand with her left, and moved her other hand to Devon’s stomach to still Devon’s movements.
Devon’s body erupted in a second series of shudders that rocked her with their ferocity. She gasped, unable to call for Carrie, unable to form thought or word.
Carrie gentled her touch. Her right hand caressed Devon’s stomach. Slowly, Carrie released Devon completely, guiding her back to reality. She moved to hover above Devon.
Devon reached out and touched a smiling Carrie’s cheek. “You are in big trouble.”
“Trouble?” Carrie asked.
“Mm-hum. When I can feel my limbs again, I promise you, you will understand the full meaning of payback.”
Carrie laughed. “You are such a goof.”
“And, you are the most amazing woman I have ever known,” Devon said sincerely. “And, before you go making some joke at your own expense; I have known plenty.”
“Oh? How many are we talking?” Carrie raised her eyebrow. Devon could dig herself a hole without trying at times.
“None like you,” Devon replied. “Not one that I have ever loved like this.”
Carrie closed her eyes. Devon’s lips were on hers, lovingly speaking the truth again. Devon’s hands traveled down Carrie’s back. She carefully shifted their positions. She looked down at her lover and sighed. Carrie. Devon had convinced herself that being in love was an experience meant for other people. Carrie had changed that in less time than it took to take a breath. Carrie had changed everything in Devon’s world. Looking at Carrie as Carrie lay beneath her, Devon suddenly understood the place that Carrie held in her life. There were many things that Devon cared about. Somehow they all faded in importance next to the woman in her arms. Carrie was like the stroke that completed an open circle. Suddenly, everything made sense to Devon—everything. Every disappointment, every success, every trip and fall, every kiss, and every broken heart had led Devon to Carrie. And, Carrie was the place Devon hoped she would find her home. She had. She could see the future in Carrie’s eyes. Home. Home was the place that you felt completely safe, even when you were terrified at the same time. Home was the one place you could be naked, completely transparent—vulnerable. Home was the destination everyone sought in life. It was a person’s final landing. Devon’s home was Carrie.
“Dev?” Carrie called to her lover.
Devon smiled, leaned in and kissed Carrie sweetly. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“For?” Carrie wondered.
“Loving me,” Devon replied. She kissed Carrie passionately.
Devon’s head dipped lower, her lips claiming purchase to Carrie’s neck. She felt Carrie’s fingernails softly rake over her skin, and she shivered. Devon delighted in Carrie’s body. Everything about Carrie sent Devon soaring—the sound of Carrie’s sighs, the sweetness of white wine and ice cream that lingered on her lips, and the way Carrie’s body moved in perfectly timed rhythm against Devon’s. Some people fit together naturally. Carrie fit with Devon. She represented that one elusive piece that completed the puzzle of Devon’s life. Carrie made Devon laugh. Carrie understood Devon’s heart. Carrie loved Devon. Devon marveled at the undeniable truth Carrie’s presence carried in her life. Carrie had become its center—its life force. Devon lifted her kiss to Carrie’s mouth, needing to connect to her, to communicate the crushing wave of emotion currently threatening to drown her.
Carrie held on to Devon. She ached for Devon, just to be closer to her. Devon’s kiss was unhurried, but Carrie felt its desperate plea. She tenderly took hold of Devon’s face, seeking to ground them both. The breath left her body when Devon slowly pulled back from their kiss.
Carrie smiled up into a pair of glistening blue eyes. “I love you, Dev.”
Devon kissed Carrie again. This time Devon poured her soul into their kiss. She ached to be closer to Carrie. It was an unfamiliar pain. Devon suddenly understood the notion that pleasure and pain were but a breath apart. Carrie was as close to her as a person could physically be, and yet it was not close enough. Devon sought now to close that distance. She closed her eyes and reveled in the emotions that flooded her soul as her kiss found its way from Carrie’s neck to her shoulder. Carrie’s fingertips tenderly teased the flesh of Devon’s back as Devon’s kisses cascaded like cool raindrops over Carrie’s skin. Devon’s right hand slid upward, softly caressing the swell of Carrie’s breasts as her kiss drifted lower, taking the time to explore the curves of Carrie’s hips and stomach. Devon attempted to commit every sensation touching Carrie produced to memory. She was certain it would be fruitless. Touching Carrie—Devon was sure that endeavor would never cease to astound her. She could spend a lifetime trying to discern and describe what she felt in Carrie’s presence and never hope to. It was impossible to maintain any rational thought. Carrie’s body moved in time with Devon’s touch as if Carrie instinctively understood where Devon’s hands would travel next.
