Infinite Stratos, Volume 5, page 7
“All right, now that I’ve fed you, it’s my—”
“My apologies, madam, but we do not offer that service.” Houki, in a maid’s uniform, interrupted Rin halfway through her sentence. The expression on her face was terrifying.
“Yeah, you’re right. Fine...”
“.........”
“C’mon, Houki. That’s enough. Table 3 has an order ready for you.”
“I know.” She spun away with a snort.
“I wonder what she’s so angry about?”
“Beats me.”
Rin was nibbling away at her Pocky with a blush on her face. The downward tilt of her head made her look like a squirrel. It was cute.
“Rin.”
“Huh?”
“You look cute like that.”
Phbbbbt! A jet of iced tea came out of her mouth, and she started coughing heavily.
“Hey, are you okay?”
“Where’d that come from all of a sudden?”
“Oh, just when you were eating the Pocky.”
“You think that was cute?”
“Yeah. You looked like a squirrel.”
“A squirrel— You idiot!”
A karate chop bounced off the crown of my skull. Oww, that hurt.
“W-What are you doing?!”
“That’s what I was about to ask you!”
We each stood up with a clatter. Suddenly, a fan cut through the air between us. It snapped open to reveal the word ‘carnage.’ There was no mistaking it, this absolutely had to be...
“That’s enough of a commotion. You wouldn’t want to disturb the other customers, would you?”
“Wh—?! Sarashiki? Why are you dressed like that?”
Surprisingly, she was in a maid’s uniform too. Did she borrow that from us or something? It was exactly the same design as my class’s.
“It’s Tatenashi.”
“Huh?”
“I told you, call me Tatenashi.”
“Okay, Tatenashi.”
“Perfect.” She smoothly flipped her fan back toward herself and snapped it shut, as if she were a rakugo comedian or a traditional dance master. “Anyway, I suppose I’ll have some tea as well.”
“Wait, you aren’t working here?”
“Nope.”
“Then why are you dressed—oh, never mind.”
Just as I let out what definitely wasn’t my first sigh of the day, a girl who looked like she’d be even more trouble than most rushed toward us.
“Hi, I’m from the newspaper club! I’m here to get photos of Orimura in a tux.”
It was Mayuzumi Kaoruko, the newspaper club’s most active member. She was always taking pictures of me, so I’d come to recognize her.
“Oh, hi, Kaoruko! What’s up?”
“Oh! It’s Tat! You look great in that uniform. Can I get a shot of you with Orimura?” Her thumb was already drifting toward the shutter release, and Tatenashi was already giving a V-sign and a grin. Was everyone in the second year this enthusiastic?
“...I think I’m done here.”
“What, Rin? Finished already?”
“I have to go work at my own class’s café.”
“I see. Oh, right. I might end up there later.”
“Mm-hm. Well, we could certainly use the business.”
“Sure.”
As they spoke, I could see Kaoruko’s ideas of the proper composition change as quickly as the fall weather.
“You know, I need to get a girl in the picture too.”
“Didn’t you already get one with me?”
“Well, yeah, but you’re just overpowering, you know? Maybe if we get everyone involved it’ll work.”
“Oh, that sounds good. I’ll go help out while you do that.”
“Okay, sounds good. All right, can I get all of the maids?”
I’m really not sure about this thing where they don’t even bother asking me. Anyway, with that, the photo shoot started.
First was Cecilia.
“Smile, Ichika.”
“Like this?”
“You look so awkward. That simply won’t do at all.”
“I think you’re enjoying this enough for the both of us.”
“Oh, really?” she giggled.
“C’mon. You don’t have to take my arm.”
“Well, why not? There’s nothing wrong with it.”
I hope I’m just imagining those stabbing glares from the others.
Second, Laura.
“Well, you know. You’re a lot taller than I am, Ichika.”
“Huh. Yeah, I guess that’s true.”
“So you can go ahead and do it.”
“Eh? Do what?”
“You can pick me up.”
“Uhh...”
“Just for the photo, though, okay? Don’t get any funny ideas!”
“Calm down, calm down.”
“I am perfectly calm!”
That’s a complete and total lie.
Third, Charl.
“Hey, uh, Ichika. What do you think of this outfit? I look weird in it, don’t I?”
“Nah, you’re fine. I think it looks perfect on you.”
“Really? You don’t think a tux works better?”
“I think the maid’s uniform is best. You’re adorable in that skirt.”
“A-Adorable...”
“Yeah.”
“Really? Adorable?” Charl giggled.
She’s smiling even wider now.
Fourth, Houki.
“.........”
“What’s wrong, Houki? Let’s get this out of the way.”
“I really didn’t want to have any pictures of me dressed like this.”
“Why not? I think it looks perfect on you.”
“It does not! It’s not like me at all! You’re just—”
“Okay, okay, fine. We’re busy, so let’s just get this over with.”
“D-Don’t hold my hand!”
“You don’t need to be that angry about it.”
“Good grief, you’re so annoying.”
And with that, the maid and butler photoshoot was over. Kaoruko’s satisfaction was obvious as she looked at the previews on her camera.
“Whew. You guys came out great. It was fun photographing you, too.”
“Kaoruko, can you cover the student council later too?”
“Of course! Leave it to me!” She pounded her chest as she answered. For a girl in a cultural club, she sure reacted like someone on a sports team a lot.
“Oh, right, Ichika. Since I’m here to help out, why don’t you take a break and look around the school?”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course. Special favor, just for you.”
“But won’t everyone else be mad at me if I disappear?”
“It’s fine. I’ll cover for you.”
Hmm. Tatenashi was pretty popular, so maybe the customers wouldn’t mind. I decided to accept the favor.
“Thanks, then.”
“Yeah. Have fun.”
I took off my tuxedo jacket and walked out of the classroom. The line still snaked up and down the hall, but with Tatenashi around, at least it was clearing faster.
“Oh, there’s Orimura!”
“Where are you going? Taking a break?”
“Yeah, pretty much.” I made for the front door as I answered.
“Do you have a moment?” came a voice from the stairway landing.
“Yeah?”
“Sorry to bother you. Here, this is me.” A woman in a suit quickly handed me her business card.
“Hmm... Makigami Reiko? Public relations manager for the IS equipment developer Mitsurugi?”
She was a beautiful woman with luxuriant hair. A smile had been plastered across her face since she called out to me. She was definitely a businesswoman.
“Yes. And we’d love to see you using some of our equipment.”
Ugh... This again...
There was no end to the list of companies who wanted to see their gear in action on Byakushiki. I’d actually wasted more than half my summer vacation just dealing with them. Really, what they were after was having their gear used by the only man in the world who could pilot an IS. It’d probably be incredibly effective marketing. Especially because Kuramochi Engineering, the developers of Byakushiki, hadn’t produced any equipment, I was buried in proposals from around the world.
But, you know, the thing was. Byakushiki wasn’t interested, and I couldn’t change that. Equipment needed expansion slots open to install it. But even beyond that, the core had its own ‘tastes,’ and that was what determined whether it would accept gear. And Byakushiki didn’t do ranged weapons. It didn’t like shields either. In fact, it wasn’t interested in anything but the Yukihira Nigata. On the other hand, picking up a gun and controlling it manually during my fight with Laura was enough to get it to evolve into Setsura, which can do ranged attacks, melee, and defense... So it was all up in the air, really.
“Well, um, uh... Listen, I think I should talk with the school first, if you don’t mind.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that!” This lady in a suit—Makigami, was her name?—was a lot more aggressive than her looks let on. She reached out and grabbed my arm so I couldn’t get away. “How about bolt-on armor, or additional thrusters? If you agree, we’ll throw in a hip-mounted blade!”
“Well, um... Are you— Actually, I was just on my way to meet up with someone, so sorry, but maybe some other time!”
“Ah—!”
While she was fishing through her bag for a catalog, I slipped from her grasp and escaped. Wow, that took longer than I thought. I hurried to make my appointment.
◇
“Bwa-ha-ha.”
At the gates of IS Academy, a young man laughed while clutching a ticket in his hand. It was Ichika’s friend, Gotanda Dan.
“Finally, finally, finally! IS Academy! Babes everywhere! I finally made it!”
Let’s rewind three days. Dan was practicing the bass at their friend Mitarai Kazuma’s house.
“So, Ichika got himself a lady yet?”
“My man keeps mumbling in his sleep that he doesn’t like girls.”
“Seriously, he’s still on that shit?”
While Dan tightened the strings on his bass, Kazuma was fiddling with the knobs on his amp. The two weren’t a band, just members of the “Wish I Could Play” club. Total membership: 2.
“Oh, hey, school festivals are coming up. What’re you gonna do, Dan?”
“Me? Oh, probably the rugby club’s pie toss.”
“That’s some weird shit.”
“What about you? Doing a band or something?”
“Dude, you think I’m good enough to play in public?”
“Yeah, I hear ya. We’ve been at this a year now and we haven’t gotten anywhere.”
“No, man, really. We just suck.” They started laughing at the futility of it. “Really, though. Everyone’s always talking about how hot the girls at IS Academy are. Wish I could go there.”
“Totally. And Ichika isn’t even interested. What a dumbass.”
“Yeah, what a dumbass.”
The two cracked up laughing, then fell silent as they each began to imagine the dates they could be on.
Ring-ring. Ring-ring.
“Huh? Oh, my phone. Oh, hey! Ichika!” Dan pulled out his ringing phone and held it up to his ear.
“Yo, Dan?”
“How you doin’, Ichika? What’s going on?”
“Hey, remember when you said you wanted to come to IS Academy?”
“Do I ever. What, you find some kinda way to get me in?”
“Well, actually...”
Dan froze for two seconds, then nearly leapt up from his seat and shouted, “Bro, are you serious right now?!”
“One hundred percent. I got a ticket, and I was thinking maybe you might wanna use it.”
“You bet your ass I want that shit.”
Dan didn’t hesitate for a moment. There was absolutely no question in his mind.
“Knew it. All right, I’mma mail it over. Don’t forget it, or they won’t let you in.”
“Sure! Got it!” Dan’s enthusiasm crept into his voice. “Dude, Ichika. You’re a true bro. I love you, man.”
“Keep it in your pants.”
“Anyway, yeah! Thanks!”
“I know, I know. See you there!” Dan hung up the phone, looked up at the ceiling, and yelled, “ALL RIIIIIIIIIGHT!”
And that’s how Dan came to be at IS Academy.
It was already ten minutes after he was supposed to meet up with Ichika, but he barely noticed. Just look at all the absolute babes standing around. Dan was in his best outfit, but even without it, he would have been attracting a lot of attention as the only boy around.
“I wonder if that guy is someone’s boyfriend?”
“Probably. He looks good.”
“Really? Orimura’s more my type.”
Dan’s heart began to beat faster as he overheard the girls around him. Everyone’s looking at me... Am I going to find someone?
“You there.”
“Yeah?”
Dan stood ramrod-straight as someone called out to him. He turned to see a serious-looking girl in glasses, holding a file folder: Nohotoke Utsuho.
“Are you one of the guests today? Would you mind showing me your ticket?”
“Oh, sure.” Dan handed her the ticket, already a bit crumpled from his fidgeting.
“You were invited by... Oh. Orimura.”
“Uh, do you know him?”
“Everyone here knows him. Anyway, here you go.”
Wow, she’s hot... But cute, too! I should try to get to know her. But what should I talk about?
“So, uhh.”
“Mm? What is it?”
“Great weather today, isn’t it.”
“I suppose.”
End of conversation. Utsuho walked away, a confused look on her face as she watched Dan shrink back into self-recrimination. Ugh, I’m fuckin’ terrible at this... If Dan had had his bass in his hand, maybe he would have started playing a lament. Instead, he waited for Ichika with all the trepidation of waiting for the hangman.
◇
“Oh, hey, there you are. Hey, Dan!”
“Hey...”
Whoa, what in the world happened to him? He looks like he’s mourning the loss of a loved one or something.
“What’s wrong, man?”
“Nothing... I’m just too damn awkward...”
“Well, yeah, but why’s it bugging you now?”
“Oh don’t even fucking start!”
“Dude, chill, or you’re gonna get kicked out.”
“Ugh... Okay, okay.”
Dan, getting back to himself after whatever happened, fell in behind me.
“Let’s go see Rin. I bet she’ll be surprised to see you.”
“Rin, huh? She still such a live wire?”
“You wouldn’t believe it.”
“By the way, Ichika.”
“Huh?”
“What’s up with your outfit?”
“Uh, her class has dim sum.”
“Don’t change the subject.”
“What does it matter what I’m dressed like?”
“Okay, okay, fine.” Dan chuckled as I led him into the school.
“Want to head straight to Rin’s class?”
“Mm? Nah, we can take the long way. It’ll give me a chance to look around.”
“Okay. Honestly, I never really got the chance to either.”
We started walking side-by-side.
“Oh, there’s Orimura! Hey!”
“I’m definitely gonna drop by your class later.”
“All right! Got a candid shot of Ichika in his tux!” Everywhere we went, girls called out to me, and I was busy waving or saying something back. All through it, Dan and I kept up a quiet conversation.
“You sure are popular.”
“Nah, they just don’t ever see guys so I’m something new and exciting.”
“Really? I’m still jealous. Hey, why don’t we trade places?”
“I’m down with it if you are. But how are you gonna handle the IS training?”
“Hahaha! If I can be around this many girls, I’ll go through the fire and the flames!”
“Less fire, more gunfire.”
“...You’re right, gotta keep myself safe for the next generation.”
“Dude, you sound like a public service ad.”
“Well, I don’t want to die!”
“And you think I do?”
“I guess not. But it doesn’t always turn out how you want.”
We each sighed a little for some reason, and ended up just heading to the closest classroom, where the art club was set up.
“Art is an explosion!”
I... have a bad feeling about this.
“So as the art club, we have a bomb-disarming game!”
“Oh! There’s Orimura!”
“And he has another guy with him!”
“All right! Start disarming the bomb!” A girl wearing the armband of a club president was trying to force us into playing the game. Uh, art club. Are you sure about your president?
“Um... How did it go? Sensor wire first, I think?” I examined the wiring, then slipped in a pair of nippers. With a quick snip, I clipped the wire to the shock sensor. “There. Good, it’s not the kind that needs a jumper. Next is...”
“Ichika...”
“What?”
“They teach you that shit here?”
“Yeah.”
I thought back to my first lesson in disarming bombs, and how helpful Laura was during it. I couldn’t have asked for a better teacher than the leader of a special forces squad. It seemed like dealing with dangerous devices was a day-to-day job for her.
“...You know, on second thought, I think I’m fine in a normal high school.”
“Huh? Really?”
“Yeah...”
I didn’t really get what was going on in his head, but it seemed like Dan had given up on IS Academy. Not like it was his choice to make as long as he couldn’t operate one.
“Ooh! You’re already to the last part, Orimura!”
The last part... Namely, completely disabling the explosive. The part in the movies that always comes down to cutting the red wire or the blue wire. This game was the same way. Two cords, one red and one blue; cut the right one and it was over, but cut the wrong one and it was all over.
