“How about you, Houki?”

  “M-Me?” Houki slid her fortune up her sleeve. “I got ‘A Little Luck’.”

  “Huh. Anyway, now you’re supposed to tie them on a tree.”

  They wandered off toward the tree. But Houki’s expression was clouded. Her fortune, reading ‘Big Trouble,’ hung in her hand like a lead weight.

  ◇

  The second day of the new year. Chifuyu and Ichika were, again, relaxing in their living room.

  “Mmmm. Last year was a mess. I hope we can just relax now.”

  “I hear you, Chifuyu. Oh, hey, how many mochi balls do you want?”

  “Two’s fine.” She was watching the international news. “‘Luxembourg princess arrives in Japan’, huh.”

  For just a moment, her eyes hardened. There were few other people in the world who realized the significance of that—and Tabane was one of them.

  Luxembourg, a small principality in Europe. A country nestled atop a sprawling cave system. The cave system was the only source of time crystals, the raw material for IS cores. She must be pulling strings to get an IS force into the country, completely above board. But why now? The more she thought about it, the more suspicious it seemed. What’s she up to?

  As she mulled it over, Ichika brought her a bowl of rice cake soup. “Here you go.”

  “Ooh.” She took a deep breath of its aroma, savoring the traditional holiday meal, before stretching out one of the mochi balls and taking a bite. “This is good.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You should have some too.”

  “Sure. Lemme clean up the kitchen first.”

  He quickly washed up, but just as he was about to start cooking his own bowl, the doorbell rang.

  “I wonder who that is? It’s strange to have unannounced visitors so soon after the holidays,” Chifuyu voiced her thoughts aloud.

  “I’ll get it.” Hanging up his apron, Ichika went to open the front door, and there he found—

  “Happy new year, Ichika!”

  “I’m sure you’re thrilled to see me so soon.”

  Cecilia and Ling, in kimono. Ichika’s jaw dropped at the sight.

  “Who helped you two put those on? They’re perfect.”

  “The lady at the store did.”

  “Oh, I just put mine on myself.”

  That’s a total lie, Cecilia’s glare screamed. And she was right. Ling hadn’t just had it put on where she bought it, they’d done her hair too. Ichika was a bit taken aback by their new hairstyles.

  “I should get a picture of this.” He was really getting into the idea of a holiday photo album. “Can you line up together for me?”

  Cecilia shot a quick glance at Ling.

  You know what this means, right.

  Of course. He’s not even thinking about getting photos with us.

  Very well, then. Time for plan B.

  Got it. Here I go!

  This took barely a second and a half. What a team; such good friends.

  “Actually, why don’t I get a picture with you, Ichika? Ling, can you do the honors?”

  “Hey, wait, no matter how you look at it I should be first! Cecilia, if you’d be so kind?”

  Lightning flew between them. This took barely half a second. What fickle friends.

  “Ling! I should be first!”

  “Cecilia! I should be first!”

  The two girls growled at each other, and almost came to blows before a hanetsuki paddle was thrust between them.

  “It’s an ancient tradition that disagreements between women be settled through sport. So now! For New Year’s! That’s how you’re going to solve it!” Chifuyu had appeared from the kitchen, a bottle of sake in her other hand.

  “Well, that certainly makes sense.”

  “You’re gonna have to walk home covered in ink!”

  Each girl gripped her paddle, eager for the chance to prove her own prowess.

  “You do realize I’m quite familiar with this game?”

  “Pssh! They used to call me the Paddle Fairy! I don’t care how good you are, there’s no way you can compare!”

  And thus, the match began. At first, Cecilia played almost like it was a tennis match, but as time went on she began to pick up more and more of Ling’s tricks.

  “No fair, Cecilia!”

  “All’s fair in love and war. And— There!”

  “Ugh, dammit!”

  As they talked trash back and forth, Ichika managed to snap a picture of them enjoying themselves.

  ◇

  “I certainly seem to have worked up quite a sweat.” Cecilia fanned her cheek with a palm.

  Meanwhile, Ling was scrubbing ink off her face with a towel proffered by Ichika. “Phew, I’m all worn out. We’ll have to finish this later.”

  Ichika appeared with two more bowls of soup and called out to them, “Did somebody say ‘leftovers’?”

  He couldn’t help himself from smirking a little as he unleashed his latest wordplay.

  “Yes, let’s eat.” But neither of the girls was taking the bait.

  “Get it? Finish it later? Leftovers?” Once Ichika committed to a joke, he was damn well going to see it through, even if it meant wringing every ounce of humor out of it.

  “Mm! This is tasty. You picked some good ingredients.” Ling poked at the shrimp and seitan, spinach and fish cake floating in her bowl as she chewed.

  “And the broth is delicious too,” Cecilia spoke quietly as she sipped. She’d gotten a lot more confident about her own cooking lately as well.

  “How about some amazake, too? I can go get a bottle,” Ichika suggested as he ate.

  “Ichika. Aren’t we a bit young for that?” Ling quickly shot back.

  “It’s okay. It’s not really alcoholic. Right, Ichika?”

  Ichika nodded. Cecilia was a bit jealous about the two of them knowing something she didn’t, but still nodded along.

  “It’s more like a sweet soup. Hold on, I’ll go get some.” Quickly draining his bowl, he headed back to the kitchen.

  As she watched him put on his apron, Cecilia sighed, dreaming of a future where she saw that every night. “Wouldn’t that be nice.”

  “Really? Guess I’m just used to it by now.”

  “Oh my, Ling. How depressing. I’ll simply have to enjoy the sight enough for both of us!” She smiled serenely as she watched Ichika work. Noticing her gaze, he waved, sending a blush across her face.

  “Grr...” It was Ling’s turn to be displeased with the lack of attention, and she immediately stared at Ichika. Who completely failed to notice. “Gah! Dammit, Ichika!”

  “Wait, what?!”

  And thus passed January 2nd.

  ◇

  January 3rd.

  “I kinda feel like shiruko tonight. How about you, Chifuyu?”

  “Mm? I... I shink I’mma...” Chifuyu had been ensconced at the kotatsu since early in the day, the sake flowing like water. “I’mma go sleep now.”

  A sudden thunk as she hit the floor, followed by steady breathing. Sighing, Ichika spread a blanket over her.

  “Anyway, about that shiruko.” As he cooked a pair of mochi balls, the ding-dong of the doorbell announced another day of guests. “Be right there!”

  Stepping into the foyer, he was greeted by the Sarashiki sisters—Tatenashi, or Katana to use her real name, and Kanzashi—in flashy, fancy kimono. “Oh, wow! You two decided to wear kimono too?” Ichika said, taken slightly aback.

  “Well, of course. I am Japanese. Even if I’m Russian on paper.” Tatenashi had, of course, chosen to become a Russian pilot.

  “Happy new year, Ichika...” Kanzashi primly bowed her head as Tatenashi snapped open a fan reading ‘season’s greetings.’

  “Anyway, let me just get a picture, and then come in, spend some time!”

  “Thanks. We both have the whole day free.”

  “Mmm... Here’s a present, Ichika.”

  He tried his hardest to turn it down—after all, only little kids get new year’s presents—but there was no way he could stand up against the stereo assault of Tatenashi and Kanzashi.

  “All right, that’s sorted. Come on in! Or, uh, actually, can you give me a minute?”

  As Ichika rushed back to the living room, Tatenashi poked Kanzashi. “Let’s sneak on in after him.”

  “Really? We probably shouldn’t...”

  “C’mon, it’ll be fun.” With a deliberately-too-quiet-to-hear ‘I’m coming in,’ Tatenashi stepped further into the Orimuras’, Kanzashi resignedly following.

  “C’mon, Chifuyu, you have to get up. Go sleep upstairs or something.”

  “Mmmm... Nawwww, I wanna shleep under the kotatshu...” Chifuyu mumbled before rolling over.

  “We have guests.”

  “Tell ’em to come back later.”

  “I can’t just— Ah.”

  By the time Ichika noticed her, Tatenashi already had an incriminating picture of Chifuyu on her phone.

  “Looks like it was a good idea to drop by~♪”

  “Mmmph...” Chifuyu slid herself as far under the kotatsu as she could fit.

  Giving up on getting her to move, Ichika led the Sarashikis to the table set up between the living room and kitchen.

  “Did you two have lunch yet? I’m making shiruko.”

  “That sounds great! Doesn’t it, Kanzashi?”

  “Yeah. I could go for some mochi...”

  “Got it!” Ichika answered happily as he began cooking enough for three. The batch from before would make dinner for Chifuyu.

  “Wow, this is great!”

  “Yeah. I like it...”

  It was a refreshing change from the extravagant feasts the Sarashikis had been holding.

  “Phew. It feels great to relax.”

  “Mmm... It sure does.”

  As they chewed their mochi, Ichika saw a golden chance to snap a photo. “Gotcha!”

  “Jeez. Don’t you have any manners, Ichika?”

  “Yeah, c’mon...”

  “Aww, why not?” Ichika winked, and the two found themselves blushing unexpectedly.

  “Jeez, fine.”

  “You’re such a tease lately...”

  With their bowls nearly empty, conversation turned to how to spend the afternoon.

  “Karuta’s probably a bad idea. What do you two feel like?” Ichika tried to steer the conversation away from things that could wake Chifuyu up.

  “How about lucky laugh? We could all use some more luck, and some more laughs.”

  “Yeah... It’s perfect for the new year.”

  As Ichika began to nod in agreement, Tatenashi produced a set from her purse. “What a coincidence, I came prepared.”

  “Tatenashi!” Ichika and Kanzashi both sighed in exasperation. It seemed like it would be another year of the student council president always being a step ahead.

  “Why don’t you go first, Kanzashi? I’ll do your blindfold.”

  “Well, I’ll try...” She clenched her hands.

  “And Ichika, this is a perfect chance for you to cop a feel.”

  “What?!”

  “...I may have a blindfold on, but I can still hear you.”

  Anyway, the game began.

  “Hmm...” Kanzashi wrapped her fingers around the face parts, trying to gauge them by feel. I think these are the lips. They should go... Around here? Slowly but surely, Kanzashi began to assemble the face.

  Ugh, this is so boooooooring. Having to sit and watch quietly while absolutely nothing went wrong was like torture for Tatenashi. Maybe I should spice it up.

  Kanzashi was nearing completion of the face, completely oblivious to what was about to befall her. And then, suddenly, a hand cupped her breast.

  “Eek?!”

  Did... Did Ichika really just— He... He’s feeling me up... She could feel the hand relentlessly creep forward. And smell boozy breath...

  “Bwahaha. Nice to see a shtudent of mine making progresh.” It was Chifuyu.

  “That’s not nice! C’mon, Chifuyu, go up to your room!” For once, Ichika knocked some sense into her.

  “Jeez, you’re such a killjoy.” Her pride wounded, Chifuyu disappeared up the stairs. And as the storm passed, Kanzashi sat quietly, still a bit shocked.

  “Sorry. She messed up your kimono, too. Ugh.” Ichika stood, reaching out his hand, only to be batted away by Tatenashi in a playful mood.

  “And the only way to wrap it up tight is to start all the way from the beginning!” She pulled open her sister’s kimono, exposing her cleavage.

  “Eeeeeek!”

  Unfortunately for Ichika, he was the one who ate the reflexive punch.

  “Why me?!”

  And thus passed January 3rd.

  ◇

  “In any case, I plan on pushing you to the fullest of your potential this year. Don’t let me down.”

  In classroom 1-A at IS Academy, a suit-clad Chifuyu had just finished laying out her plan for the third trimester. Not a shred of her recent drunken debauchery was left.

  “And speaking of which, we’ll be having a very special exchange student: the seventh princess of Luxembourg.”

  The class gasped in surprise.

  “Ehh?! A princess, at IS Academy?”

  “I’ve never actually seen her, even on TV...”

  “But I’m sure she’ll be amazing!”

  Everyone was excited. Except for Ichika, who had a very bad feeling about what was coming.

  “Quiet down!” Chifuyu demanded. “She’s still only fourteen. I expect you all to be on your best behavior. Understood?”

  “Yes, ma’am!”

  Her stern tone of voice was enough to put a little bit of fear in the girls as well.

  “Then, Your Royal Highness. If you may.”

  The classroom door slid open and a red carpet rolled forth. Then came a retinue of maids in smartly-cut pantsuits surrounding a young girl. This was Her Royal Highness, and national cadet, Iris Twilight de Luxembourg.

  “Thank you for your trouble, Orimura Chifuyu.”

  “But of course.”

  She was even shorter than Ling, even flatter than Ling, with a baby face which made her look even younger than she was, but wrapped in an extravagant dress. Her poise and air were every inch as regal as a queen’s, but her cheeky grin gave Ichika the impression that she’d be even more of a handful than Ling was.

  This is not good. Not good at all!

  For just a moment, their eyes met. He tried to tear his away, but it was too late.

  “You there!” Her finger pointed straight toward him. “Orimura Ichika, am I correct?”

  “Err... Yes?”

  “Ufufu. You shall be my attendant. Bask in the glory.” Her lips wrapped back in a self-satisfied smirk.

  “Ugh, I just knew this was going to happen.” Ichika slumped back in his chair.

  “Wait, what’s going on here?!” The rest of the cadets seemed just as displeased with how things were going as he did.

  “You heard Her Royal Highness. I expect you to be a perfect gentleman.”

  The message was clear. This was his problem. And thus began a new trimester sure to be even messier than the last.

  ◇

  “Ugh, a butler outfit? Again?!” I couldn’t imagine being any more embarrassed. And it wasn’t even temporary like last time. The royal command was that, if I was wearing anything, it had better be that or pajamas. “I don’t care if she really is a princess, this is...”

  A glare from one of the suit-clad maids cut me off before he could even finish with ‘going too far.’

  “It is as Her Royal Highness commands.”

  “Uh, okay...”

  Their leader, a woman with a standoffish attitude accentuated by her low-bridged round glasses, had an especial talent for throwing daggers with her eyes that could cut through steel.

  “Er, Florence? Can I at least go to class now?”

  “No objections!” She was standoffish, or more just completely unapproachable. “The Imperial Knight will be arriving in Japan today. I expect you to greet her.”

  “O-Okay.” And right now, those metaphorical daggers had me metaphorically pinned to the wall. First princesses, now knights? This is getting more and more absurd. What the hell is going on with my life? Ahh, hell, who am I kidding? Who else would even be able to figure this out?

  “Garde à vous!”

  Backs stiffened all around me as a clear, intense voice rang out like a bell. Even I couldn’t help but straighten up in response. That was how intense her voice was. A bright flash filled my vision, like lightning I heard rather than saw. I wasn’t sure which way I’d look if I heard her in one ear and a lion’s roar in the other.

  “Her Royal Highness desires a promenade. Of course, the companionship of one of you will be necessary.” Her hair was long and straight, and in lieu of the others’ suits she wore a brigandine and an épée at her hip as if she’d stepped straight off the set of a period drama. “Very well. Orimura Ichika!”

  “Yes, ma’am!” She had an ice-cold beauty about her as she pointed at me.

  “She’s chosen you. I expect you to be on your best behavior.”

  “Understood! But, er, who are you?”

  “Imperial Knight Djibril Emmuler. Any other questions?”

  “No, ma’am!” She was taller than I was, and I stretched out as much as I could as I answered. And as I did, she whispered in my ear.

  “You understand what will happen if any misfortune befalls the princess, correct?”

  “Y-Yes! I will protect her with my life!”

  “Exactly what I wanted to hear. Dismissed!”

  We split off. The maids and the Knight going one way while I went the other. Still wondering what the hell was going on, I made my way to the special guest room in the dorms.

  ◇

  As he did, the usual crew watched from behind.

  “They’re working him like a slave.”

  “Indeed! I’m jealous, er, I mean, that’s unforgivable!”

  “He’s just a magnet for trouble.”

  “Maybe he has a talent for it?”

  “Well, I’m not sure I’d call that a talent.”

  “More a curse...”

  None of them were quite satisfied that they’d gotten the last word in that exchange.

 

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