The Honeymoon Gambit (Catalina Dreams Book 2), page 16
Gus was enchanted.
And terrified.
He wondered if Rae would be wearing the silver platforms when he showed up.
He bit his lip and scrolled through Rae’s Instagram, though he was all too familiar with many of the posts, having scoured it multiple times.
There was Rae Bell, all 6’2” inches of him (also “them” and also “her”) with his long dark brown hair swept into a pretty up-do, a stubbled and sharp jawline, eyeliner, lip gloss, and a purple three-piece suit. The picture showed him standing next to Seth Meyers backstage before a show and giving a thumbs up and a saucy wink.
Few literary fiction writers were invited onto late night talk shows. But that was Rae Bell for you.
“Hi, Gus.”
“Hey,” Gus said, before he’d even looked up from his phone. He blinked up at Eric Yoo who stood in front of him, sipping from a bottle of kombucha just as his boyfriend, Todd Ellis, walked up behind him. Todd waved a hello. The two were recent transplants from Los Angeles and ran a boutique ad firm from an office a few blocks away. Gus didn’t know them well, but they seemed nice and had shown up for some events. They were also super into each other, just like Charlie and Jason. Even now, Todd wrapped his arms around Eric from behind and Gus felt a melancholy twinge of envy. But he ignored it and smiled. “You guys coming to see Rae Bell tonight?”
“Wouldn’t miss it!” Todd said. “Read all of their books twice and they’re so…I dunno…”
“Charming,” Eric said.
“You never call me charming,” Todd said behind him, and nibbled on Eric’s ear.
Eric batted his hand. “I call you charming all the time and we are in public.”
“It’s sweet,” Gus said, and though he had only just begun his fifteen-minute break, he got to his feet. “Well, I should get back to it. See you guys tonight!”
Gus smiled, but it was a slightly awkward and artificial smile before it folded into a slight pout. He sipped his matcha latte as he made his way inside, the unpleasant buzz of envy and irritation tingling under his skin. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Eric and Todd or with Charlie and Jason for that matter. They were in love and they were all so content with each other. Gus was particularly happy for Charlie, who he’d known since high school.
Still, Gus had longed for a partner for a long time. He wasn’t unhappy on his own and had been in a couple of relationships that had taught him all too well it was better to be alone than with the wrong person. It was only the desire for what his friend had found that made him sigh wistfully as he headed to his office to check his email before relaxing with some shelving work for a while.
It was hard not to fantasize about waking up beside someone who was in it for the long haul.
Unfortunately, there were no likely contenders on his tiny little island. The real dating pool was back on the mainland. Except that Gus hated dating…which pretty much put him at an impasse with finding romance.
The alternative was fantasizing endlessly about Rae Bell, all six-foot two inches of him with his beard stubble and metallic eye shadow. Gus sat behind his desk and fell into a daze just thinking about him as he finished off his latte. He pictured Rae making his home on the island, writing his novels from the third floor right above the bookstore and greeting Gus with a scorching kiss when he ended his shift in the shop.
The thought only made him shake his head, chuckling derisively.
Yeah, right.
2. Rae
Rae was asleep and dreaming of sleep. The first time he had dreamed of sleeping, he’d woken up baffled and irritated. What a waste of a dream! No naked and sexy people at all. He dreamed of watching himself snoring, cozy in his bed in his (temporary) New York apartment that was so small he was forced to shove half his stuff into storage. Rae could have at least dreamed of the flat he’d shared with Jonni back in London. He still missed that flat. No place in America smelled quite like London. Even the urine in the streets seemed like a slightly better category of urine. But New York was close.
This time, Rae dreamed he was sleeping in a hammock. A softly swaying hammock tied between two trees. The air tasted cool and salty. There was a margarita on a table nearby. A warm pair of lips pressed his forehead and a sweet voice murmured that it was time he got up and went back to writing. It was all so domestic. Rae tried to cling to the dream, a keen sense of desperation overwhelming him.
Don’t let me go…
But the feeling was so intense it woke him up.
“Fuck.” Rae opened his eyes and groaned as he slowly realized he was in a hotel room yet again, and yet again, he had no idea in what city that hotel room was located.
Also, his phone was ringing.
Buzz…buzz…buzz…
“I’m awake! Jesus H. Christ…”
Rae did open his eyes before grabbing his phone and answering it, holding it upside down before realizing that Tess’s voice was coming from the wrong end.
“Hold on…” Rae yawned, rubbing his eyes as he flipped his phone around and sat up. He was sitting on a luxuriously made up bed in a decently but not overly luxurious suite. Rae squinted, peering through a large window that looked out on an expanse of ocean.
Hawaii?
Malibu?
“Rae!” Tess barked in his ear and Rae flinched. “Are you listening? Are you even awake? Didn’t you sleep on the plane? I told you—”
“Tess, Tess. I’m here, darling. But will you please tell me where here is? I took an Ambien for the flight—”
“Rae…”
“Half. Half an Ambien. More like a fourth. A quarter. A minute sliver.” He set the phone on speaker and tossed it aside as he got to his feet and stretched, immediately toppling over.
Oh, right. The shoes.
“Fuck.”
“RAE.”
“Hold on, Tess darling!” Rae sat on the floor and rubbed his eyes before unbuckling the truly gigantic silver platforms he’d opted to wear on the flight from JFK to LAX. Yet another example of his tragic decision-making skills. TSA had taken ages, and nobody in line had been a fan of his work. Rae tossed the shoes aside and sat back against the bed, reaching up for the phone and just as quickly spying the minibar next to the nightstand. “Oh, hello to you too, darling—”
“Are you high?” Tess said wryly. He could just picture her, glaring him down.
“Not you,” he supplied. “The other darling. I just want some Pellegrino if…yes. Excellent, excellent.”
“Rae, have you eaten?” Tess said.
“Uh…” He set the phone on his knee and unscrewed the bottle of sparkling water, downing about half of it before speaking again. “I believe I had some wasabi almonds on the plane. I meant to have dinner, but the Ambien. You know how it is.”
“I know how it is with you,” Tess said darkly. Rae pictured Tess in her purple-rimmed glasses, her hair in long black braids. She was probably wearing her vampy lipstick (she claimed straight men feared it). She was definitely wearing a black suit and likely pacing in her office.
“Okay, Rae,” Tess said. “Here are your facts.”
Rae took a breath and focused. Tess had done a pretty good job of drilling a few things into him, like that when she said, “here are your facts,” it meant he needed to actually pay attention, or he’d be wandering around lost.
“Shoot, darling,” Rae said.
“You are on Catalina Island at a hotel called The Delinea,” Tess said. “Just off the coast of Southern California. Before you ask, you were the one who chose Catalina. You said you’d heard good things about the bookstore which is Gus’s Books where you’ll speak and sign tonight. You must arrive at five o’clock. Event begins at five-thirty. You must eat food when you hang up this phone. An entire meal. Tomorrow you have the Vanity Fair interview.”
“I’m here on Catalina for Vanity Fair?” Rae said, frowning. “Odd. This is the last tour date, isn’t it? Why did I need to interview here? Why not New York?”
“Rae,” Tess said slowly. “The truth is, you’re going to be on Catalina for a while—”
“Pardon?”
“We’ll talk about that later.”
“Tess…”
“Hang up the phone, order room service, and show up at Gus’s Books at five. You’ll be getting a door knock at quarter to just in case.”
“What is it you want to talk about, Tess? Don’t do this. You know I hate to be teased with the promise of serious conversations.”
“It’s nothing bad,” Tess said. But she almost sounded sad through the phone, sighing a little. “Please eat something. And stop taking Ambien for the love of God. If you’re having trouble sleeping, we’ll find a better solution.”
Then there was a click and Rae found himself alone.
His least favorite state of being.
By the time Rae’s room service arrived, he had a terrible headache from hunger. Rae racked his brain, but he couldn’t quite remember the last time he’d eaten properly even with Tess texting him reminders to at least pick up a granola bar. Things just moved so fast with his tour events packed tightly on Tess’s agenda. How did she even expect him to remember to eat? It did not seem fair.
Roast chicken and garlic mashed potatoes with a Caesar salad. Simple. But Rae considered it comfort food. When people recognized him or took him out to eat, they always made it fancy, attempting to impress him with complicated dishes for which they were charged an arm and a leg. And Rae didn’t want them to feel bad. So, he ate his reductions and duck happily. Besides, the food was good. But nothing beat a really good macaroni and cheese in Rae’s book.
Rae picked at his food. He kept getting distracted by his own thoughts, exhaustion, and whatever he happened to be looking at online. It was also too easy to feel edgy alone in a strange hotel room while recovering from the effects of taking Ambien on an airplane. He dug out his laptop and set it out on the table on the suite balcony, grumbling obscenities as he logged into the hotel Wi-Fi.
Rae skipped from YouTube video to YouTube video, unable to find just the right thing to watch as he pecked halfheartedly at his food. He ate only a single bite of mashed potatoes.
The Ambien had messed with his system. He felt too wired up to eat even though he was hungry. He checked his Instagram, chewing his lip, nervous he might have posted something absurd while loopy on the plane. Mercifully, there was only a shot of his shoes and a reasonable caption though he had no memory of posting it.
Rae took a deep breath and brought up the latest New Yorker, feeling a little more relaxed as he ate a couple bites of salad. He had once caused a stir at Heathrow while tripping on acid. But he put that down to his ex’s company. Jonni had always been a little trigger happy with the hallucinogens.
The memory didn’t make Rae smile where once it would have.
Rae had travelled much of the world and plowed through a decent bucket list at this point. There was no shortage of money after writing four best sellers, one of which had been adapted into a film (three Oscar wins). Rae had hiked the Inca Trail at Machu Picchu, communed with psychics at Cassadaga, relied on the kindness of sherpas, and had sex at the top of more than one volcano. Among other things. Rae had lived a life, and he was only thirty-four. Yet, with every adventure, Rae found diminishing returns. Nothing felt as fun or as dangerous or as mind-blowing as it had when he was younger.
Lately, it felt like he was chasing that feeling and never quite finding it.
He ignored his still hot food and went straight to answering a mess of emails, that nagging feeling of chasing business or experience in order to avoid an empty, lonely feeling under his skin once again.
This is not the time for an existential crisis, he thought, just as his phone rang again.
Rae felt a terrible kind of relief at the prospect of an urgent phone call and seeing that it was Tony, one of his good New York friends, he picked up happily.
“Tony! Love! Sweetheart! Pal o’ mine! Talk to me right now immediately!”
An hour later, he’d fallen asleep again, most of his food still untouched.
Acknowledgments
Thanks, Fading Street. Thanks again, Janna, my awesome cover artist. I love my logo! Thanks again, Rebekah, for your feedback, support, and selkie AUs. Thanks to anyone who’s ever reviewed my books. Thanks to anyone who has ever enjoyed my fanfiction and everyone I’ve squeed with and argued with and whose content I’ve enjoyed in fandom. <3
Also by I.M. Flippy
A Fugitive in Grass Valley
Bart Goes to Brentwood
A Day in Cleburne
Summer of Sonny
Moored Heart (Catalina Dreams Book 1)
I.M. Flippy, The Honeymoon Gambit (Catalina Dreams Book 2)
