The Honeymoon Gambit (Catalina Dreams Book 2), page 10
Todd chuckled at that. “Okay. Okay, good. I thought we should clear the air. Things just seem a little off and I didn’t want you to be distracted or anything. I don’t want to be distracted.”
“I’m not distracted!” His voice jumped a few octaves, and it occurred to him he sounded just like Todd when he was upset. “Whatever. Whatever, it’s fine. Okay?”
“Okay…” Todd nodded, uncertain. But finally, he clapped Eric on the back before he got to his feet. “Good good. Good talk. I’m going to change.”
12
Todd
“I’m in love with Eric.” Saying the words out loud made him feel better.
Todd took a deep breath and stared at himself in the mirror over the sink in the tiny bathroom off the stateroom. He’d felt the words about to burst out of him all morning; every time he worried about Eric losing the account just because it would upset him, and every time he looked at Eric and saw him crack a beatific smile as his pretty hair blew around in the sea breeze. It was not just the sex or the kiss. It was realizing how much they shared and how good he felt around Eric.
He’d never realized it.
His day never really started until he saw Eric in the morning at work, poking his head into his office to ask him a question or even getting agitated over Todd’s music and the mess of his office. He’d always had a crush, but it was more than that.
He’d been falling in love all this time.
“Fuck my life.”
He’d given Eric an out, and Eric grabbed right onto it.
This was why he never got the guy, he figured.
This was why guys like Stackler got the guy.
If nothing else, at least he’d cleared the air. Eric not being into him was one thing, but Eric avoiding him and cozying up to CHAD THE SNORKEL GUY was too much to bear. He’d felt like the world was disintegrating around him just because Eric had moved away from him in the dinghy.
“Okay, man up, Todd.” He shook his head and rubbed his eyes.
Time to fucking snorkel.
“Okay, guys!” Chad said, clapping his hands. “Everybody got their flippers and masks on? Well secured?”
Todd crossed his arms, feeling wretchedly insecure amongst a sea of abs, his thighs bursting out of his trunks. His love handles felt far too lovey. Stackler was smirking at him. He glowered down at his flippers, feeling ridiculous.
“Okay! We’ve ridden out to the southeast end of the island, okay! This is a secluded area called Lovers’ Cove!”
Eric scooted closer to Todd as Alphonso and Jordan made eyes at each other.
“So keep an eye for a bright orange fish I’m sure you’ve heard of. That’s a Garibaldi!” Chad said. Chad looked very excited, as if he didn’t go snorkeling in the same few areas of the island a dozen times a day.
God bless him, Todd thought.
He wondered if Chad and Eric would bang.
That would just figure.
“We’ll see some Sheep Head! Kelp bass! Lots of fish will swarm around you! Keep your eye out for plant life and kelp forests! And if we’re very lucky, we might even see some dolphins out this way! Okay, guys! Let’s hit it!”
They’d anchored the yacht around the southeast side of the island from Avalon where the ripples of the hills and the spreading green made the place look deserted unless you looked more closely and spotted the little buildings and campsites sprinkled throughout. Todd flopped over the side of the diving plank with Eric, waiting for others to jump in the water.
The Arnold Palmer portion of the afternoon had taken ages, it seemed. But Eric had engaged Jordan at least, wrenching him away from Stackler.
Todd direly hoped he could resolve the Gigis’ problem with Eric without Todd having to tell Eric there was actually a problem.
“You excited?” Eric said flatly. “Chad says there’s Garibaldi.”
Eric was teasing.
Be still my heart, Todd thought.
“So excited,” Todd said. “Can’t you tell?”
Then Eric laughed.
His mouth split into a grin with teeth and everything and he chuckled warmly, knowingly, as if the two of them shared all kinds of private jokes together. As if the two of them were Todd and Eric; a duo, a unit apart from the others.
Eric laughed and Todd thought: I am so in love with you.
“Whoa! Ellis! Earth to Ellis!” Jordan whistled with his fingers. Todd jerked and blinked at him. He stood on the dive plank. The others were in the water already. “You’re up next! Let’s go!”
The water was bracing when Todd jumped in and it jolted him from his reverie over Eric who splashed into the water a moment later, popping up next to him.
Eric had laughed. Eric laughed!
Not only that, but Eric laughed at something Todd said. That was exponentially better. He had a hundred questions for Eric. Why had he never laughed before? Had it taken the island and the particular brand of vodka in his Bloody Mary to get him relaxed enough to laugh? Had he only just developed a sense of humor? He knew the last one wasn’t true. That had always been one of the frustrating things about Eric. He seemed like somebody who should be funny, but rarely allowed it of himself outside the occasional wry observation.
“Todd.” Eric’s voice cracked as he bobbed in the water next to Todd. He looked ridiculous in his big, goofy goggles with his snorkel mouthpiece resting against his chin. But his gaze was as intense as ever. Todd felt like he was about to say something important, as the others whooped and splashed each other, acting like frat boys let loose in the ocean. Chad’s voice bellowed, cutting through the chaos. He instructed them to put their mouthpieces in and follow him in the water.
Todd kicked his flippers, and his ankle found Eric’s leg. He nudged him, encouragingly. His legs felt awkward and heavy in the water as he got used to the flippers. His heart pounded. “What? What is it?”
“Uh… Look out for sharks, huh?” Eric twisted away and shoved his mouthpiece between his lips. He swam off after the others, and Todd sighed.
Okay.
He adjusted his snorkel and swam after them, hoping this stupid adventure would not last too long.
He already wanted a drink.
13
Eric
Eric couldn’t remember the last time he had cried. He hadn’t cried when his ex had broken things off. He’d kept a goldfish in college named Duke Leto. When Duke Leto had finally died, he might have shed a tear then.
But when Todd left him to change into his trunks, Eric had clenched his fists, fighting the lump in his throat. He’d barely composed himself before Todd returned and immediately decided: It didn’t matter. It was both liberating and terrible. But it felt nice to laugh with Todd. So good, he wished he’d let himself do it before. All the rules he’d ever lived by now seemed so silly and meaningless in hindsight.
The hiss of his breath in the snorkel was calming as Eric worked his flippers, chasing after the others in the cool, blue water. A school of kelp bass swam past him and he watched them, listening to his own breath: in and out. In and out. There was a forest of seaweed next to a chunk of coral. The light through the water made the fish glimmer. It all looked beautiful. He should have been awed.
But nothing seemed to matter.
Eric could see Todd’s flippers splashing through the water to his right. The others swam ahead of him. He stared down into a school of some yellow fish he couldn’t name and then there was nothing, just swaying seaweed for a while. It was a relief really. He felt like the Gigis would want to discuss the stupid sea life and he did not have the head for it at the moment. Because nothing mattered. There was only Todd swimming beside him, just out of reach.
He swam faster, eager to catch up with the others. He shot far ahead toward Stackler and Jordan, who had popped up in the water near a rocky outcropping. Chad was talking about something, probably identifying fish.
“Did you see the Garibaldi!” Chad pointed at Eric even as he sprang out of the water, blinking through his goggles.
There was water in Eric’s nose as he pulled out his mouthpiece, and he winced. At least no one could tell he was trying not to cry.
“Um…”
“Bright orange!” Chad said. “Beautiful! Beautiful!”
“I saw some tiger sharks!” Jordan said.
Where was Todd?
Eric twisted around to look back toward the boat. Todd should have caught up with them already.
Eric couldn’t even see his snorkel.
“Where’s Todd?” he said. “Shit, where’s Todd?”
He twisted to his left toward the rocky shore: no snorkel sticking out of the water and no Todd. He twisted to his right; nothing. He stared at the boat, fully expecting Todd to be sitting on the deck looking back at him.
“We got a man down?” Chad said.
People were talking, diving into the water. Eric took a deep breath and dove under. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d swum underwater. There were laps at the gym occasionally, but it wasn’t in his routine and it was a lot different from pushing his way through clusters of seaweed and sending fish scattering as he searched for Todd. He headed back toward the boat, searching… searching…
Todd…
He had no particular thought in mind of what exactly might have happened to Todd. Only that it had to be bad. But his heart thudded in his chest and his stomach turned.
I should have told him. His thoughts were a jumble, rioting inside him. He could hardly pick them apart as he pushed further. His feet ached. He didn’t know the right way to handle flippers.
I should have told him what he means to me.
Todd came to see him in the hospital. And Todd knew that when Eric talked to his Halmeoni, he became a little boy again. Todd knew about the honey cookies and Todd could make him laugh. Todd looked at him like he saw right through everything… Even if Todd didn’t love him like that, he was still a true friend.
This close to the shore, there were rock formations jutting up from the sea floor. That made it harder to see, and he kept mistaking funny shaped rocks for a human figure.
Todd Todd Todd….
Eric was nearly back at the boat when he saw a hand reach out from the middle of a thick kelp forest. It waved halfheartedly as if the person attached to it was slowly losing the ability to move.
Eric shot toward the kelp and found the hand attached to an arm attached to Todd. He was all tangled up in the kelp. He must have dived down to have a look at something and become trapped.
He wasn’t moving enough. He wasn’t struggling or flailing.
How long had he been stuck underwater?
Eric headed for Todd’s feet first. One of his flippers was all wrapped up in a clump of seaweed. Eric’s lungs protested as he kept his breath and pulled the tough, thick tentacles of the seaweed apart. His hands shook as he fought. His head pounded. Eric managed to loosen Todd’s foot, but he was still stuck. Eric thought he might pass out for lack of air. He couldn’t get to the strap of the flipper to remove it.
He grabbed Todd around his thigh and yanked upward, straining, his lungs fit to burst. His vision was about to go black. He was going to die. They were both going to die. From snorkeling. He fought every stupid urge within him to open his mouth and inhale as he pulled and pulled, hoping he wasn’t about to break Todd’s foot, when finally Todd came loose just in time for Chad to find them. Chad grabbed Todd’s other arm, and they both shot up to the surface with the limp Todd carried between them.
Eric’s teeth clenched, and he saw stars as he broke through the surface and gasped, gulping air, his chest aching. He wanted to throw up, but there was Todd to look after first. Todd, who looked limp and pale as Chad took a hold of him and sped toward the boat. Eric let them go, just cognizant enough to realize that Chad was trained for this sort of thing.
Everyone was shouting, crowding him as he weakly swam back to the yacht, his stare fixed on Chad as he climbed up the short ladder to the deck with Todd in his arms, as if he weighed nothing.
“Holy shit, Eric, are you okay?” Alphonso clapped him on the back. “He’ll be all right, I’m sure. He’ll be all right…”
“Todd is…” Eric shook his head. “Todd, I…” His sentence became some strangled incoherent cry, a moan that wanted to wrench its way out of his body and instead sputtered out as an impotent gasp. He pushed through the water and climbed the ladder, half-collapsing onto the deck. He ripped the goggles and snorkel off his face, crawling over to Chad who had Todd laid out on the slick floor.
“Is he okay?” His voice sounded unnaturally flat. His head ached. He was still catching his breath, spots dancing merrily in front of his eyes.
Todd was breathing!
He coughed up water and shivered. Eric watched it happen like a miracle. His chest rose and fell. His eyelids fluttered. “Oh his knee,” Eric said.
Todd’s knee was bleeding. Eric watched a drop of blood slide down the pale meat of his thigh, still trying to process the fact that Todd was okay.
“He’ll be all right,” Chad said. Todd mumbled something and opened one eye. “Got some water in his gullet there. Doesn’t look like he was down there too long. But we’ll check him out.”
“Eric?” Todd muttered.
Eric might have pictured his heart jumping right out of his chest, growing legs, and scuttling across the deck to Todd, were he given to silly fantasies like that.
But it felt similar.
Eric grunted and without hesitation, he took Todd’s hand in both of his. “Hey. Todd, baby… Uh, Todd, hey. Are you…?”
“Shit, I’m dumb,” Todd said. He chuckled, and it turned to a cough. Blessedly, he didn’t pull his hand away. Instead, he blinked at Eric, who raised Todd’s hand to his lips and shut his eyes, kissing the very fingers he’d seen waving slowly above the kelp forest. “Oh…”
“Jesus Christ,” Eric said. His voice cracked all over the place. Tears slid down his cheeks, joining the seawater pooling beneath him. The others had climbed back up onto the deck, but they gave Todd and Eric room to breathe. “Christ, you scared me, Todd. Fuck…”
“It’s okay. Hey hey, it’s okay…”
Eric couldn’t stop kissing his fingers, his knuckles, the inside of his wrist…
Todd sat up. Chad mumbled something about him taking it easy as he got to his feet to fetch the First-Aid kit on board for Todd’s bleeding knee.
“It’s not okay!” Eric whispered, refusing to let go of Todd’s hand. Todd just stared at him as if he’d sprouted antennae from his head. “It’s not okay, it’s not. I didn’t tell you what you mean. I didn’t tell you everything—”
“Okay, let’s get this knee looked after!” Chad plopped down beside them again and Eric let go of Todd’s hand, blushing as he scooted away so Todd could get his knee looked after. Chad broke an ice pack and shook it before placing it just below the minor wound.
“Yeah!” Eric nodded. He staggered to his feet and coughed. “I’m just... going to get us some water, okay? Don’t go anywhere!”
He took a breath and nodded dumbly when Jordan asked if he was okay as he stumbled into the stateroom.
Todd was okay! He wanted to scream it. He felt like he’d aged ten years in the last five minutes.
Todd was okay.
How did nobody else understand it?
Todd was okay. And nothing else mattered.
14
Todd
Eric wouldn’t let Todd out of his sight.
It was kind of adorable and also mind-boggling… and slightly annoying.
But it was mostly adorable.
It was also easy to mistake all that for love.
“I feel bad.” Todd allowed himself to slump heavily against Eric’s shoulder as a driver took them back to the hotel in a golf cart. After a lot of convincing, Alphonso and Jordan had agreed to continue their snorkeling adventure while Todd and Eric returned to the hotel. Of course, Stackler didn’t care either way.
It was all pretty mortifying.
“Why would you feel bad?” Eric wore shades and Todd couldn’t see his beautiful dark eyes. That was vexing. “It wasn’t your fault. Besides, they were all too ready to keep the party going without us.”
“Pfft. Good. I don’t want to wreck their trip because I decided to dive down and investigate a stupid fish. Jesus Christ.”
“What do you think?” Eric said. “You think they’re going to pass on us because you almost drowned? If they’re that petty, fuck them. I wouldn’t want to work with them.”
“Whoa. Who are you?” Todd snorted. Eric was all over the place since The Incident. His mouth was emphatically not a tight line. He kept looking over at Todd as if to make sure he was still alive.
Then there was that business with the handholding and the kissing of his fingers…
Todd assumed it was all a show for the others. If so, Eric Yoo deserved an Oscar. Todd could swear he’d seen tears in his eyes.
“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?” Eric frowned and reached up to gently turn Todd’s head one way and another, searching for head wounds.
“I didn’t hit my head,” Todd said for the tenth time. He took Eric’s hand and squeezed, refusing to let it go for a moment. “Eric, I’m fine. Just saw my life flash before my eyes for a minute. Makes a guy think really.”
“Me too,” Eric said. He held Todd’s gaze and didn’t look away.
Todd was about to ask him about the handholding when the golf cart pulled up in front of The Delinea. He sighed and started climbing out to the sidewalk.
“Wait wait!” Eric yanked on his arm. “Let me come around and help you.”
“Jesus, I can walk.”
“Humor me.”
“I’ve been humoring you for two years,” Todd said, and he was sure Eric smirked at that as he grabbed the gym bag full of their stuff and jumped out. He shoved past the driver, on his way to help Todd himself. Todd took a twenty from his pocket and handed it to their chauffer. “Sorry for his rudeness. Thanks.”
