Bind Me Before You Go (Entangled Brazen) (Serve), page 10
How could he have been so careless? Sure, he wanted her to be better off than when he found her. He also knew he was feeling more for this woman than he had for anyone in a long time. Maybe ever.
There were only a few days remaining before he left for his next mission. He’d better make them count.
“It must’ve been pretty fucked up if you wanted out that bad,” he said.
“Yeah, it was.”
Her gaze still drifted off. Clouded. Probably filling with memories she didn’t want to revisit. He could certainly understand that.
When she refocused, she checked the clock. “I better get a move on if I’m going to get back home and ready for work on time.”
“I’ll come with you,” he said.
She cocked an eyebrow. “You will, huh?”
“Yeah. This isn’t over.” He stood up. “I’ll drive you home.”
She offered him one of her smirks as her initial reply, one that—somehow—was both smart-ass and adorable at the same time.
“It’s just…I don’t know…who would’ve thought it would take me being tied up in order to let go?”
He continued to rub her head, adding some pressure to relieve any lingering tension. Then he gave her a chaste kiss on her temple.
“You make me feel…safe. I know you’re a dangerous man. Not that you would hurt me physically, but I know that the training you have, the kind of work you do…”
“I get what you’re saying. You don’t have to explain.”
She nodded, and her gaze fell to his mouth as she leaned in and kissed him. Gently. With care. Then, before she pulled away, she whispered, “You know you can trust me too, don’t you?”
He didn’t answer, instead closed his fist tighter around her hair and pulled her closer to him.
We’ll see soon enough.
Chapter Ten
“So did your Hunk-on-a-Rope decide to finally stop abusing your body and give it a rest for the night?”
“Very funny, Allie.”
She had stayed over at David’s the other night, but since she had shifts over the next several days, he was now staying at her apartment. It felt good having him on her turf, even if she hated waking up and counting off one more of their few remaining days together.
Now, Cassidy was hanging out with Allison in her kitchen. Baking. This surprised her, because her roommate seemed like the type who never even glanced at a cookie, let alone baked a bunch for herself and others. But here she was, helping Allie bake on a Sunday.
She took a quick glance over at how Cassidy was rolling the dough. “You need more flour, Cass, or it’ll stick.”
“Oh,” She scooped some in her hand and dusted it across the pin and the marble counter top.
“Good,” she praised while getting back to her own batch. “Now, spill and tell me everything.”
Cassidy playfully narrowed her eyes and shook her head. “You going to share about you and Monsieur Delacroix, Mademoiselle Sinclair? Because I know something’s up when you start baking.”
She shrugged her shoulders and sorted through an array of cookie cutters. “I don’t know. He asked me to come back for another scene. But I’m not sure if I want to.” She found the cutter she was looking for, gave it a quick spray, and started pressing it into the dough. “I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy that night at the club…”
“You enjoyed that night?” Cass mimicked. “What does that mean exactly?”
Allie started placing the cutouts onto the greased cookie sheet. “It means I like him, but I’m not about to get all wrapped up in his gorgeous, whiskey-eyed, seductive voodoo anytime soon. I swear that man is trying to put some kind of BDSM mind game spell on me, and I’m not falling for it. No way.”
Cassidy blinked once. Then again. “Seductive voodoo? BDSM mind game spell? Really Alls?” That did it. She started cracking up, holding onto the edge of the fridge.
Allison grabbed a dishtowel and swatted Cass with it. “Never mind! I thought we were talking about you, anyways.”
“Shh!” she said, touching her arm. “David’s still sleeping, and I don’t want to wake him.”
Allie smirked and shoved the cookie tray in the oven. After shutting the door she set the timer. “Wake up? You mean revive him? You two haven’t been out of your room except to go to work. And if I’m not mistaken, I think you called in sick yesterday, because I don’t recall even seeing you at all. Although I sure could hear you.”
Cassidy blushed, then felt a warm, strong hand curl around the nape of her neck. Damn, David was one stealth-moving, hot piece of ass. She hadn’t even heard him come across the apartment.
“Now, don’t tease her, Allison,” he chided her friend. “Cassidy gets embarrassed over the idea of you hearing us. It’s gotten to be so bad I’m going to bring her back to my place for a while. I’m tired of not hearing her let it all out.”
“We’re going back to your place?” Cassidy asked, turning into his awaiting embrace. He was wearing jeans and one of his favorite faded T-shirts. Frankly, she couldn’t care less if he stayed with her or she camped out at his apartment, but she couldn’t deny she felt a thrill at the invitation.
All she wanted was to wake up and go to sleep with him every day they had left, for as long as he wanted to be with her. He was leaving on assignment at the end of the week, only a few days from now. She’d tried to talk to him about it last night, but instead of answering her with words, he’d buried his face between her legs.
She came within a few minutes, and though the pleasure had been as strong as ever, that orgasm was like a check mark on the calendar. One more down. One less left.
“Yeah, but not until I get you in the shower here one last time.”
“You sure are bossy, Mr. Cavill,” she teased. “What ever happened to the Shibari-loving guy who’s all about fair play?”
He gave her a wide grin. “Good point, Ms. Peyton. So let me rephrase: may I have the honor of showering with you?”
She tilted her head, batted her eyelashes, and then curtsied for him. “I am flattered by your invitation, and I accept your generous offer.”
He gave her a swat on her curvy behind. “C’mon, smart-ass.”
They got into her shower together and washed each other thoroughly. He took his time washing her hair and said it was “one of his favorite things to do to a woman.”
She leaned back into his touch and sighed.
“What are you thinking?” he asked while working his fingers deep into her hair, massaging her scalp.
She let out a laugh. “I thought guys hated that question.”
He smiled against the skin of her neck as he spoke close to her ear. “I’m not most guys. And you’re evading my question.”
He rinsed out the shampoo and then started working in the conditioner.
“I’m just happy,” she finally admitted. “Really happy.”
“Me, too, you know,” he told her while smiling down at her, a sexy and mischievous gleam to his eye. “I can’t fucking wait until I can get you to—”
His cell phone rang from the bedroom—the sound of an old-fashioned car horn. David hopped out of the shower like his skin was on fire. He wrapped a towel around his waist and dashed into the other room.
Cass finished rinsing the soap out of her hair and shut the water off. She threw on a robe and towel-dried her hair as she walked back into her bedroom. And there he was, totally absorbed and in another world. She couldn’t help but notice the veins along his temples and throat rapidly pulsing, like a thoroughbred frantically racing to the finish.
Within a few seconds, he was talking in rapid-fire Italian. Between his understanding of Aveline’s French the other night, and his now speaking Italian, she wondered exactly how many languages he spoke.
Then she noticed that his overnight bag was on the bed and he was gathering his belongings while on the phone. She glanced over to the bedposts and noticed that his ropes were gone, too. They hadn’t been here long, but already she’d gotten used to them, like they were an extension of her furniture.
“Have you seen my shoes?” he asked her, looking around and not meeting her eyes.
“Um…” Her mouth was suddenly dry, like sawdust. “Look under the bed.”
He found them, grabbed some socks, and sat on her bed to put them on.
She waited for five, then ten seconds, until she realized he wasn’t going to offer her anything more.
“What’s going on? Was that your mother on the phone?”
He gave her a sideward glance, as if unsure how much to say.
“Yeah,” he finally admitted. “I’ve got some family stuff going on. It might take me a few days to sort through it all.”
“You don’t have to take all your clothes and gear with you,” she threw out. It was silly, but she wanted his things here, like they were a guarantee he’d come back. “I don’t mind having your stuff here while you take care of what you need to do.”
He stood up, turned around, and zipped his overnight bag. “Don’t worry about it. Really, this isn’t a big deal. Just give me some time to take care of it and I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
He picked up his bag and left the room. She followed him to the front door and grabbed his arm. Was he going to leave? Just like that? No explanation? Not even a kiss goodbye?
She’d gotten a glimpse, when they’d gone to the restaurant, of the walls he kept up. What was it that had him so afraid to open up?
“I’m here for you, you know,” she said, pleading with every fiber of her being for him to lower his guard in some small way. “You can tell me anything.” She snaked her arms around his middle. “You always ask me what I want, what I need to heal and be me. Well, I’m telling you I want you to talk to me. I need you to lean on me, to trust that I’m strong enough to handle whatever’s going on with you.”
“That’s sweet. But I can tell you from experience, this is something I have to handle on my own.” He pulled away from her and slung his bag over his shoulder. “Listen, I’ll call you later. Enjoy some time with Allison. Maybe you can convince her to give my boy Leo another shot. He’s been driving me crazy ever since he found out I was staying over here with you.”
He was trying to keep things light by being funny, by switching the focus off himself and onto her roommate.
When she looked at him, she found that he was already looking at her, concern in his eyes. He was waiting for her to…what? What else could she say? What else could she do?
“Are you okay?” he said.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Just go. Take care of whatever it is you need to do.”
After a moment, he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon.”
Then he went to his bike, and in a few moments he was a distant figure down the road. She watched him until he disappeared
I’ll see you soon.
It wasn’t like she didn’t believe him. But the way he’d shut down as soon as something went wrong… What had happened on the other end of the phone that he assumed she couldn’t handle?
“Hello? Earth to Cassidy?” Allie waved her flour-covered hand in front of her face. “Anyone in there?”
She shook off the mental fog and refocused. “Yeah, uh…sorry, Alls. Just thinking.”
Allison clapped her hands together, sprinkling flour all over herself. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s happening. Getting it out of your head helps.”
“I don’t understand men,” she said, then she laughed. “Of course, I’m not sure I understand myself, either.”
“What happened?”
Cassidy shut the door and leaned against the wall. “He left. Something’s wrong, and I just wish he’d tell me what it is.”
“So he doesn’t want to tell you?”
“I guess not. But I wish he would.”
“Isn’t that his decision?”
Yes. Of course that was his decision. But was that all it was? She’d gotten the feeling he did want to tell her. So why hadn’t he?
She remembered thinking about how she was falling for him. Of course, she hadn’t confessed that out loud. She was terrified of scaring him off, of saying anything to thwart the affection and warmth she felt from him at that moment. He was beautiful. Him naked in her room was even more beautiful.
Cassidy stood in front of Allison, and even the delicious scent of baking cookies couldn’t offer comfort. Her stomach rumbled, but she didn’t care.
“Well?” Allison was waiting for her to respond.
Just go, she’d told him.
She shook her head. Shit. Had she pushed him away in a moment when she should have urged him to stay?
“I should go to him,” she said. “Just let him know I’m here for him if he needs me.”
“You sure that’s the right idea? It sounds like he wants his space.”
“I’m not going to invade his privacy.” She looked out the window, back at the road where she’d seen him only minutes ago. “But I keep thinking about all those times I wished someone would have just told me they’d be there for me when I needed them. When—or if—I was ever ready. That’s what I should have told him. That’s what I need to go tell him now.”
Allison let out a long breath. “Well, if you’re going, don’t go empty handed.” She went to the kitchen and came back with a tin of fresh-from-the-oven cookies. “Here, bring these. It’s a poorly veiled excuse to come over, but it’s something.”
“Thanks, Allie. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
Chapter Eleven
After three subway train transfers, Cassidy finally arrived at David’s neighborhood in Brooklyn. And because it was a Sunday, few of the express trains were running, which meant a trip that should’ve taken a little less than an hour instead took two hours one way.
She couldn’t really afford it, but she was definitely taking a cab on her way back home. Of course, she was really hoping that wouldn’t be necessary. She’d meant what she’d told Allie. She wasn’t going to force the issue, but she did hope that her invitation was all David needed. That if she reassured him that she wouldn’t reject him, he would soon be back in her apartment and in her bed, where he belonged.
She rubbed her palms up and down the fabric of her jeans, took a deep breath, and prayed he would be happy to see her.
She knocked on the door. Goddamn it, her heart was thundering like a cannon inside her body.
She waited for a couple of minutes and then tried the doorbell. She heard some muffled voices but couldn’t make out what was being said. They certainly were taking their time. She moved her bottom jaw back and forth while clenching and unclenching the free hand not holding a tin of cookies like a pathetic, overgrown Girl Scout—
The door flew open, and David—her gorgeous, strong, amazing man—was standing there in front of her. And wow, he looked pissed.
“Cassidy…what are you doing here?”
Wow. Not exactly a response out of the movies.
He wedged himself between the door and the jamb to block her view of what was going on inside. That sent up some red flags. What the hell was so terrible that she couldn’t see inside?
Now she was pissed off.
“Actually, you didn’t say you’d call. You didn’t say anything. And you made it very clear you wanted me out of whatever the problem is.” Shit, this wasn’t what she’d come there to say. She had to stop herself or he’d be completely justified in turning her away. “This is coming out wrong. All I wanted to say was that after everything we went through, it feels wrong to have you dealing with something heavy on your own. And besides…” She held up the tin of cookies. “Allison and I actually got domestic and made cookies. I brought you chocolate chip with hazelnut.”
He looked at the tin in her hand like she had a bomb strapped to herself or something. Her insides crumpled and dropped, and it took everything she had to remain standing and appear unfazed.
“Figlio? Who’s at the door?” It was an older woman’s voice. She guessed his mother.
He turned his head but kept himself wedged in the doorway. “It’s nobody, Ma .”
It’s nobody. I’m nobody.
She ought to dismiss what he was saying as him just shielding himself again, this time from whoever was inside. But the words hurt all the same. It had been a mistake to follow him.
Before she could turn to leave, his mother pushed him aside and opened the door.
“Mom, go back inside,” he said.
The woman smiled and came forward to take Cass’s hand in hers.
“Buonasera, I’m David’s mother, Teresa Cavill. Who are you?”
Cassidy glanced over at David, who stood there looking like a deer in headlights. His expression broke another piece of her heart away. She shook her head, as if trying to physically shake off her disappointment, and plastered as sincere of a smile on her face as she could.
“Hi, Mrs. Cavill. I’m Cassidy Peyton. I’m…a good friend of your son’s.”
His mother blinked a couple of times but didn’t say anything.
“I…I brought you all these.” Cassidy handed the cookie tin over.
His mother looked at it, confused for a second, then took it. “Grazie.” Her face brightened, and she grasped Cassidy’s hand, startling her.
David started forward. “Mom—”
“So you’re a friend of Dante’s?” Before Cassidy had a chance to answer, she plowed on. “Oh, it would be so good if he knew a nice girl like you instead of those…those puttanas!”
Cassidy didn’t speak Italian, but even she knew puttanas meant “whores.”
The bigger question, though: Who was “Dante”?
It hit her how little she really knew about David. This whole time, she’d been the one sharing her past and introducing him to her friends while he shared close to nothing about himself. Even the restaurant he’d taken her to had been Leo’s.
And the sex? Their joining in the bedroom, for all his talk of mutuality, had been one-sided. He’d made her feel safe. Cherished. Loved. But aside from a few scant details? He’d never opened up in return.
