Everything But You: Newberry Springs Book 3 (Newberry Springs Series), page 9
As much as being away from him all this time has hurt, I think having to see him every day and him not reciprocating these suffocating feelings in a tangible way would be worse.
But I have to try, right? That’s why I’m here—to find out if there really is something still between us.
Six weeks ago, he was eager to tell me that there was, at least for him.
Now, I have no idea where we stand, but the attitude he has about my reappearance isn’t a promising one. Who knows, though? Six weeks is long enough to get back into someone’s good graces, to show this man that although time and double-edged decisions have kept us apart, he’s still the person I see myself spending my life with.
He always has been, even if I lost sight of that for a while.
All I know is that if I don’t try, I’ll regret it. And I’m tired of having regrets with this man. I made them once at eighteen, again at nineteen, and I refuse to do it again at thirty-four.
“Yes. I’m here to plan the event for her,” I reply, not showing all of my cards yet.
“So you left your other job?”
“I did. A lot has changed in my life in the past six weeks, but my heart brought me back here, and I’m ready to listen to it.”
Forrest shakes his head at me, his eyes narrowed while he contemplates his next words. And I hate that the way he’s looking at me right now is making my doubts about finding our way back to each other grow exponentially.
“Yeah, well, things have changed for me, too,” he finally says.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I don’t want you here, Shauna. I can’t . . .” He stares at the ground but doesn’t finish his thought. Instead, he says, “I have to go,” and spins on his heels, giving me his back as I watch him retreat.
“Forrest!” I call after him, but he doesn’t acknowledge me. His feet carry him away from me so fast you’d think his pants were on fire. “Well, that went well,” I mutter to myself, pushing my hair off my face and breathing in the fresh air as I exit the barn, willing my emotions to stay in check.
There’s only so much I can do right now, and until Forrest sees that I’m not leaving and I’m here to remind him of what we had, I have to accept where the cards lie right now—in a fucking mess on the floor.
When the sun hits my eyes, I lift my hand to shade them from the rays. Fall in Texas is so beautiful, the morning air crisp yet still warm enough that I don’t need a jacket, but I definitely wish I had some sunglasses right now.
As I bask in the sunshine, I take a moment to stroll around the property, eager to see all of the changes but also feel the familiarity that has always made this place feel like home.
A few horses are stationed in their stalls to my right, chomping on hay and neighing to one another. The trees all around the house and the property have multiplied in size since the last time I was here. And the fields in front of me stretch out for miles, leading to a rustic building on my left, a barn that looks far more polished than the one Forrest and I were just arguing in.
I wander over to that building, stepping inside to see what they’ve done with the space.
“Wow.” My head cranes back as I stare up at the high-beamed ceiling, the whitewashed wood walls, and the dark-brown wood floors. Strings of bulb lights hang from a pole in the center of the room over a flat space that is perfect for a dance floor. That’s probably what they use it for.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Momma G’s voice makes me jump, and I spin to face her.
“It’s gorgeous.”
She beams with pride, her eyes darting above her and all around. “I remember when we finished this building. It came out just as I imagined it would, and then all I kept seeing was you and Forrest getting married in here.”
My smile drops from her reminder of what could have been. “Momma . . .”
We lock eyes, and then she says, “There’s something you’re not telling me.” With an arch of her brow, she continues, “My son just stormed through the house like a lion let out of a cage, muttering to himself about something. Now, I’m not saying he hasn’t carried around some anger about the way things ended between you two, but I feel like his reaction to seeing you again was exaggerated.”
“I take it he hasn’t told you much about the past few months.”
Momma G scoffs. “This is Forrest we’re talking about, Shauna. He’s locked up tighter than a bank safe.”
Nodding, I follow her to a set of chairs stationed against one wall. They’re the simple white ones with cushions commonly used at weddings.
We take a seat, and then I let out a deep sigh. “Well, to make a long story short, I saw Forrest two months ago in Vegas when he was out there for a convention. We had dinner and a few drinks, but then my fiancé showed up. I—I wasn’t exactly forthcoming with the detail that I was engaged,” I admit, twiddling my thumbs and avoiding her eyes.
“I see.”
“Seeing him again caught me off guard. I’d been thinking about him so much leading up to the wedding, considering all of the what ifs, which only amplified the doubts I was already feeling.” I turn to her and grab her hand. “But when I tell you this next part, please don’t hold a grudge against your son. He may have shown up to stop my wedding, but I already knew I shouldn’t marry Brock. Hearing what he said just helped me see the truth and take action on it.”
Her brows hit her forehead. “He went to Vegas and tried to stop your wedding? My Forrest?”
I huff out a laugh. “Yeah. He told me he still loved me, that if I still felt any sort of feelings toward him, I should give us another chance.”
Momma G shakes her head slowly as she takes in all the information I just shared. “I’m not gonna lie. Part of hiring you was with the hope that you two would find your way back to each other. You have no idea how miserable that man has been since he came home after his injury and you two split up. But I had no idea you’d been in contact. I thought this would be a much friendlier reunion, even though I know you two have a past.”
“Well, I imagine the past few weeks have been worse because he saw me walking down the aisle toward Brock and thought I chose him. If he had stayed just a few minutes more, he would have seen me leave him at the altar.”
Momma G gives me a tight-lipped smile and squeezes my hand. “That must have been hard to do.”
A tear slips down my cheek. “It was. It was awful, hurting him like that. But it was the right decision. It wasn’t fair to marry a man when another one still resided in my heart. But in the process, I hurt Forrest, too.” I swipe the tear away and then look up at the woman I’ve always considered a second mom. “I came back here to see if we could find our way back to each other, too, Momma. But if Forrest can’t forgive me, if we can’t move past the past, I don’t see that happening.”
She pats my hand and shimmies her hips, getting more comfortable in her chair. “Oh, Shauna. You underestimate the power of a mother who knows her children better than they know themselves. And guess what,” she leans forward, whispering, “I now have two other daughters-in-law who enjoy a little meddling as well.”
I let out a laugh, and God, it feels good. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t totally honest with you, that you didn’t know about everything.”
She waves a hand in the air dismissively. “It’s all right. I kind of had a feeling there was more to you coming back than just needing a new job or wanting to visit temporarily.” She winks at me. “But just know that the job is yours permanently if that’s what you want.”
“I appreciate that, but I haven’t decided yet.” Honestly, it depends on Forrest, and I don’t want to get her hopes up if things don’t pan out.
“Give him some time, Shauna. That man might try to pretend that he doesn’t care about feelings, but the truth is, he feels them too much sometimes, and it’s overwhelming for him.”
He always did love hard. “I feel like we’ve lost so much time . . .” My words trail off because I don’t want to think of what the consequences of that could be.
“You did, but it wasn’t lost. It was time spent figuring out who you two were, working toward goals and careers, building relationships with other people. It wasn’t wasted, but all you can focus on now is the future. You’re still young. There’s still time to get everything you want.”
“You think?”
“I know.” Standing from her chair, she grabs my hand for me to follow her. “Things with Forrest will work themselves out, I’m sure of it. But right now, I say we talk Winter Wonderland business because this momma has a vision, and you only have six weeks to make it come alive.”
Laughing, we walk hand in hand back toward the house. “That’s what I’m here for. Put me to work, Momma G.”
“Oh, honey. You definitely have your work cut out for you in more ways than one. But if there’s anyone who is up for the challenge, it’d be you, sweetheart. Now, let’s get down to business.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
Forrest
“The Anderson high-rise is coming along really well,” Javi tells me as we walk through the yard of High Performance headquarters. The temperatures have dropped considerably in the last week which makes being outside much more tolerable.
“Good. It’s a big job. We can’t lose money on it.”
“I don’t think that will be an issue,” he replies. “We’re actually ahead of schedule right now.”
I groan, looking up at the sky and then glaring at him when I drop my chin. “Why did you say that? You should know by now that uttering those words in the construction world is just asking for bad juju.”
“Did you just use the word ‘juju’?” he asks, frowning at me.
The truth is, I’ve never used that word in my life, but my world is just full of surprises right now.
“Fuck, Javi.” I run my hand through my hair, blowing out a breath. “I just don’t need any more shit to stir the pot right now, all right?”
“Well, what’s going on?”
What’s going on? My ex showed up at my parents’ house yesterday after taking a job working for them, and I acted like an ass.
I told her I didn’t want her here, but I think we all know that’s not the truth.
“Shauna’s here.” I groan again, pinching the bridge of my nose.
His eyes double in size, and then his head starts to swivel. “Holy shit. Where?”
“Not here in the yard.” I shove him. “In Newberry Springs, man.”
He rolls his eyes, widens his stance, and crosses his arms over his chest. “Jesus, Forrest. Why is she here? I feel like I need more information.”
“I swear, you’re worse than my brothers sometimes.”
“That’s fine.” He shrugs. “You can wallow in your own turmoil if that’s what you want, or you can fucking tell me what’s going on in your head and I can help you work through it. Your call.”
I glare at him once again. “Fucker.”
He puckers his lips and makes kissing noises. “You love me. Now, talk.”
“Remember when I went to Vegas to try to stop her wedding?”
“Yup. It was badass, even though it didn’t turn out the way you wanted.” Javi pushed me to tell him where I went when I up and disappeared for a few days and came back pissed off at the world. And even though I won’t admit it out loud, I’m glad he did. I slipped into a dark place there for a while, and he was the one who helped pull me out of it. Of course, that consisted of him kicking my ass in the boxing ring numerous times, but it helped. And I know that sharing what’s going on with me is the right thing to do, even though I hate talking about my fucking feelings.
“Well, that’s the thing . . .” I stare out across the yard. “I guess she never married the guy.”
“Oh, shit. You didn’t know?”
“Nope. I left when I saw her walking down the aisle. She said she left him there, but I missed that part.”
“So now she’s here?”
“Yup, and she also took a job working for my parents at their ranch.”
Javi stifles a laugh with his hand. “Oh, fuck. That’s convenient.”
“Right? She says she came back for me, but then why go behind my back like that? And my mother hired her, knowing who she is. I feel like this was all a big scheme.”
Javi purses his lips as he ponders my dilemma. “Well, let me ask you this. If your mother hadn’t gotten involved, and Shauna had just knocked on your door and told you that she wanted you back, would you look past all of that and give her a shot?”
My heart says yes, but my head says too much shit has happened. “I don’t know, Javi. My mind is a fucking mess. And the worst part is, I told her I didn’t want her here.”
He blows out a breath. “Damn. You really have a way with words, don’t you?”
I shove his shoulder. “Don’t fucking rub it in.”
“Well, is that how you really feel?”
“No. But I was caught off guard. I wasn’t prepared for her to be there and say all that shit.”
“Kind of like what you did to her when she was about to marry another man,” he counters, crooking his eyebrow at me.
“You know what? Maybe talking this out with you isn’t the best idea.”
“Hey, I’m just telling it like it is. You did the same shit to her. It sounds like you both have a lot you need to discuss. But the question is, Forrest, do you want to? Is it worth going through all of that? Do you think you’ll be able to work past everything you’ve been through if it means having her at the end of it?”
“I think so . . . I’m just so fucking angry right now. I mean, did she leave her fiancé because she actually wants to be with me? Or was she just unhappy, and I gave her an out? Does she even know what she really wants? It’s only been six weeks. Can she really have her head on straight that soon? Because I know I don’t. I haven’t had my head on straight for months, especially where it concerns her. One day I hate her and regret ever falling in love with her, and the next, I feel like I would give every last organ in my body for another chance with her.”
“You’re so eloquent with words,” he snipes.
“Well, it’s the truth.” I let out a sigh as my phone buzzes in my pocket. “Fuck. I need to get back to the office.”
“I know, me too, but we’re not done. Look, here’s what I suggest. Instead of worrying about all of the romantic bullshit right now, what if you just focus on trying to be friends again?”
“Friends?”
“Yeah. I mean, when Sydney and I started our little arrangement back in the day, I was hell bent on keeping feelings out of it. But then we started spending more time together outside of the bedroom and developed a friendship, which led to more.” He holds his hands up. “I mean, I don’t have much other experience to go off of, but getting to know her made those feelings develop naturally on their own.”
He drops his hands and grabs his own phone out of his pocket as it begins to vibrate, checking the screen before glancing back up at me.
“You know you already have feelings for her, but just focus on getting to know the woman she is now instead of holding shit against her from before, and maybe the rest will fall into place.” With a slap on my shoulder, he strolls off, answering his phone and leaving me pondering his suggestion.
Can I just be friends with Shauna?
I think a resounding no was the answer that got me into this mess in the first place.
The first time I saw that woman, I knew I had to make her mine, and I was a naïve boy back then. But now, as a man, it feels like taking a step backward. But what if that’s what we need?
She’s here. She will be for at least six weeks.
Don’t I owe it to myself to at least give us one last shot?
Before I can answer that clearly, my phone rings again. But this time, it’s my mother. “Hey, Momma. Any more scheming you’ve been up to that I should be aware of?”
“Oh, you stop that sass, Forrest Eli, before I show you just how wicked I can be.”
Groaning, I head for the main building so I can get back to my office. “I’m fully aware. It’s just been a while since I’ve been the victim of it.”
“Well, I’m not sorry, but I do have some chicken fried steak for dinner tonight that might get me on your good side again. If you’ll come over for dinner, that is.”
My stomach rumbles on command at the mention of my mother’s chicken fried steak and gravy. It was my favorite meal growing up, and I’ve tried cooking it for myself, but it never comes out the same.
She must add something special to it since she knows I’ll never turn it down.
“I guess I can do that.”
“Wonderful. And bring a bottle of wine. I feel like I need a glass after today. It’s been wild, and it’s only noon.”
“You got it, Momma.”
“Thank you. See you later, Forrest. Love you!”
“Love you, too.” I end the call just as I plop down in my chair and wake up my computer.
A few hours go by as I answer emails, talk to suppliers, and check in on a few of our biggest jobs right now. But when my phone rings right before I’m about to leave, I fucking grin as soon as I see who it is.
“Maddox Taylor!”
“Forrest Gibson! How are you, man?”
Maddox Taylor is one of my best friends from high school. We grew up playing football together and both went to college on athletic scholarships. While my career ended in an injury, his went on to blossom, and now he’s one of the top quarterbacks in the NFL. He’s currently living in sunny California, playing for the Los Angeles Bolts.
“Oh, I’m hanging in there. Work’s good, fucking busy, but that’s not a bad thing.”
“Yeah, I hear ya. This season is already kicking my ass, but I feel strong. Here’s hoping we make it to the Super Bowl this year.”
“You can always use another ring, right?”
