Love is a Joke, page 8
“I think we need to talk,” he finally said.
In most scenarios, I hated hearing those six words. When Hayden said them, I wholeheartedly agreed.
“Okay, let’s talk,” I replied with a smile on my face.
“As you know, I am divorced,” he paused and waited for me to confirm.
I nodded, urging him to continue.
“As much potential as I see with you,” he said, “I see too much of my ex-wife in you.”
“Okay, I understand how that would be difficult,” I said. No one wants to date someone who reminds them of their ex. For all I knew, we had the same eyes or the same hair.
“She let herself go a year into our marriage. After you cleaned your plate last night…” He trailed off like he didn’t want to finish his sentence, but he had already said enough.
“Are you serious?” I gaped at him.
“I figured since you were a friend of Megan’s you would be as fit as her.”
The metal chair screeched on the pavement below me when I stood. “I’m so sorry that I don’t meet your standards.” My apology was dripping with sarcasm.
“I don’t think you’re unattractive, by any means. You’re just not what I’m looking for.”
“Oh, well, thank God you don’t think I’m unattractive!” I yelled louder than I intended to, but I was seeing red.
I couldn’t stand to be in Hayden’s presence for one more second. I tossed my coffee in the trash and headed down the sidewalk with Dobby.
Hayden didn’t come after me, and I didn’t expect him to.
Hell, I was grateful he didn’t.
When Dobby and I arrived back home, I fought the tears that threatened to slide down my cheeks. There was no way in hell I would shed a tear over the cruelty of that man. He wasn’t worth it, and I knew it.
The tears that tried to form were for more than Hayden’s cutthroat rejection. The fact that I would be seeing Connor’s smug face regularly was enough to make me want to weep.
Oh, and my period was due.
It was the perfect concoction for a melt down.
The only thing that kept me from completely losing my shit was the fact that I wouldn’t have to see Connor again until Monday.
SEVENTEEN
I blinked, and it was already Monday morning. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t contemplate calling in sick. But I wasn’t sixteen years old. I couldn’t play hooky.
My only saving grace was that I had a busy day ahead of me. Since I spent the week prior onboarding new hires, there was an endless amount of paperwork and forms for me to complete and file. I wouldn’t have a spare minute to chat.
When I reluctantly dragged myself into the office, Megan and her sad puppy eyes found me before I could hide in my private office.
“Hey, Sophie,” she said. Her voice sounded as pathetic as the look she gave me.
She already knew about Hayden, and I hadn’t been the one to tell her. I was hopeful that I would have a few days of peace before Megan found out, but no such luck. Since Hayden had been the bearer of the bad news, I couldn’t help but wonder what he said. There was no way in hell he told Megan and Kyle the truth. I’m sure the version he relayed to his friends painted him in a good light.
“Hey, Megan,” I cheerfully replied.
“Do you want me to grab you some coffee?” she offered.
“It’s okay. I’ll get it.”
“I have a meeting at nine, but I’ll check on you after that.” She spoke to me like I was a five-year-old she was babysitting.
“You don’t have to check on me, Megan. I’m fine.” My tone was harsher than I meant for it to be. I knew she was trying to be a good friend, but I didn’t need to be babied.
I also didn’t want anyone in the office to catch wind that something was wrong.
Nothing was wrong!
I was fine.
Megan disappeared down the hall, and I was happy to be alone again. I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths in an attempt to regain my composure.
“Knock, knock,” a deep voice said through my cracked door.
I knew exactly who that deep voice belonged to. Connor. He didn’t wait for me to respond before he breezed right into my office.
“What could you possibly want?” I asked.
“Well, that’s not the way to greet your new favorite co-worker,” he said with yet another smirk. I wanted to wipe that damn thing off of his face.
“I have things to do, Connor,” I tapped my pen on my desk. “What do you want?”
“I see that, Sophie.” Every muscle in my body tensed when my name rolled off of his tongue.
I glared up at him. I wasn’t in the mood for his games. “If you don’t need anything, you can excuse yourself from my office.” I walked past him with my empty coffee mug in hand. All I wanted was some coffee before being bombarded. Was that too much to ask?
A familiar presence lingered behind me as I entered the break room. “I wanted to talk to you about my first article,” Connor continued as if I hadn’t practically told him to leave me alone.
“You may want to talk to your editor,” I told him.
“They want me to use our meet-cute story for the first article,” he wiggled his eyebrows at me.
If steam could come out of my ears that would have been the moment it would have happened. “Our meet-cute?” I whisper-screamed. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“It’s a great story.” The cheesy grin on his face told me that he was thrilled with the idea, and it made me want to stomp all over it.
“No one will think it’s cute,” I told him.
“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure,” he said. “I took the liberty of adding a few exaggerated details to liven it up a bit. Are you going to be cool about this?”
My face scrunched up in disgust, but I didn’t answer him.
“It doesn’t mention you by name,” he continued, “and I changed your physical description.” His eyes slowly took in every inch of my body. “Though, I would have preferred to keep the original.”
“If you don’t tell a soul it was me, we won’t have a problem.”
His gaze burned into me. “Deal, Tater Tot.”
“Do not call me that.”
“Would you prefer Fifi? I think it’s spunky enough for you.”
“I’d prefer for you not to talk to me.”
“That’s too bad,” Connor winked at me and slipped out of the break room.
“What was that?” Megan asked.
I jumped at the sound of her voice. “What was what?” I asked.
“With that new guy, Connor? He is hot as hell.” She fanned herself. “Were you two flirting?” Megan looked hopeful.
“No, Megan, we were not flirting.”
“What was that about then? There’s something weird going on with you two.”
“It was nothing.” With a mug of coffee and a container of strawberry yogurt, I made my way back to my office. I hoped I would lose Megan in the process, but of course, her steps were in sync with mine.
Without saying a word, I ushered her into my office. I had never used the lock on my door before, but it seemed like the right occasion.
“Okay, here’s the thing,” I spoke softly to Megan. I needed an ally, someone who would be on my side in the office. I had no choice but to confide in her. “Connor is the guy I went up to on my blind date with Hayden. He’s the one who I first sat down with.”
“No!” Megan’s blue eyes widened.
“Yes,” I told her. “I also saw him a couple of weekends ago at an open mic night. He did a stand-up routine about our stupid encounter. It was horrible.”
“Noooo!”
“Yes. And now, his first assignment here is to write about the encounter. They’re calling it a ‘meet-cute’. So that’s that. I can’t escape it. That’s all there is to know. We were not flirting. I despise him, and I doubt he’ll last very long here anyway. He’s not funny.”
“I’m so sorry, Sophie. Gees, what a small world. Well, you know I’ve got your back.”
“I know you do.”
“If it means anything, I’m sorry that it didn’t work out with Hayden. I feel like it’s my fault since I set you guys up.”
“I think it’s for the best. I don’t think we were very compatible.” Or, at least, I wasn't compatible with his shocking expectations.
“Your Prince Charming is out there somewhere,” Megan promised before diving into a full-length pep talk. I politely nodded while she spoke, but I barely listened to what she said. I didn’t need a pep talk. I wasn’t feeling down about myself. I knew that I wasn’t the problem.
Guys like Hayden and Connor were the problem.
It was barely nine o’clock in the morning, and I had already had enough peopling for the day.
EIGHTEEN
Connor’s written piece appeared in our new comedy section later that week. His story was on the front page of our website from the moment it was published, and it was gaining momentum quicker than any of us expected.
The meet-cute story was all the office was talking about. The break room was no longer a place to simply pour your coffee or eat your lunch. It was a toxic gossip chamber.
“Let’s find out who she is,” Bonnie, one of the new hires, encouraged her fellow gossipers while she nibbled on her salad like a rabbit.
“What if they are soulmates and it was the universe's way of pushing them together?” Tori, our resident astrologist, suggested.
I scoffed at the idea.
“Maybe she doesn’t want to be found,” Megan said, putting her two cents in.
“Yeah, maybe she wasn’t impressed with Mr. Grant,” I said.
Connor entered the break room when I was on the tail end of my sentence. I knew that he had heard every word.
“I can read people pretty well,” he said as he stared at me, “she was impressed.”
“I do not doubt that,” Bonnie elbowed Tori, and the two giggled like seventh graders. I wished they would finish their salads and go back to their cubicles already.
“She wasn’t the kind of girl who would admit it though,” Connor spoke to the room, but his eyes were still only on me. “Too tough, too hard. Too used to depending only on herself. I bet I could soften up her rough edges a bit.”
“Maybe you’re not as good at reading people as you think.”
“I’d beg to differ.”
Only moments ago, our break room had been filled with chatter and gossip. After my exchange with Connor, the silence was deafening. Everyone was listening to our interaction.
“You should find her,” I told Bonnie.
“I agree with Sophie. Bonnie, you should find her,” Connor said with his eyes still only on me. “I wouldn’t mind getting to know her.”
“Good luck with that,” I said before I stormed out of the room.
~
By the time the weekend rolled around, there was nothing I wanted more than to get some fresh air with my favorite companion.
“You know what we’re doing today, Dobbs?” I asked my adorable dog who was busy wiggling at my feet. His wiggle turned into a little dance the second he heard my question.
I changed into my swimsuit and slipped on my trusty cut-off denim shorts. Since my hair was still damp from the shower, I quickly braided it.
“Let’s go to the beach!” I finally said Dobby’s favorite word right before we headed out.
Once we were parked at our usual spot, Dobby’s excitement could hardly be contained. He bolted straight for the water as soon as his paws touched the sand.
I spread my beach blanket out over the sand and made myself comfortable. I was excited to continue my current read, a small-town romance novel. The city girl had just been told she had to relocate to some farm town, and she was hysterical. I’d read enough romances to know she would be ravished by a muscular farmer soon enough.
I glanced up every so often to check on Dobby. He never wandered off very far, but I liked to keep a close eye on him. I noticed he was playing with the same dog from a few weekends before. The cream-colored dog with tall ears. The two new friends looked like they were having a blast while they took turns chasing each other.
After twenty minutes of watching Dobby play with his new best friend, I wandered to the shore to join them. They were so lively together.
“It looks like our dogs have forged a friendship,” a man’s voice called from behind me. It sounded vaguely familiar. I whipped my head around, and sure enough, Connor Grant was standing behind me.
“This isn’t happening,” I said, turning my back to Connor. Not only was I horrified to see Connor at Dobby’s happy place, but I was also not clothed in professional wear. My bikini top was a little more revealing than a blouse.
Dobby ran right up to Connor as if they were old pals. How many times had Connor interacted with my dog without me knowing?
“What’s his name?” he asked.
“Are you stalking me?” I asked in an accusatory tone.
“What? No,” he looked mortified by my question. “Are you serious?”
“Oh, it’s just a coincidence that you got hired by the company I work for and now magically appear at my dog’s favorite beach.”
“Yes, Sophie,” he looked down at our dogs and shook his head. “It’s just a coincidence.”
“Maybe the universe is trying to push us together,” I snickered.
“What was that?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
His resting smirk face morphed into a genuine smile for a moment. If I had blinked, I probably would have missed it.
“So, what is his name?”
“Dobby.”
“No way. There’s just no way.” he laughed. “That’s Luna.” He pointed at the beautiful, cream-colored dog with tall ears and a thick tail.
“Harry Potter?” I asked.
He nodded.
“Is this another weird coincidence or did you change her name to Luna so that we would have something in common?”
“You're a trip, Tater Tot. Check the tags on her collar if you don’t believe me.”
“If you don’t stop calling me Tater Tot, I’m going to start calling you Meatball.”
“Meatball! I like that,” he grinned. I ignored him.
Dobby and Luna were still chasing each other. Luna looked like a magical creature, and the name suited her. I started to walk back to my beach blanket, and Connor followed me.
“Just because our dogs are beach buddies does not mean we automatically are too,” I told him.
