Love is a Joke, page 15
Okay, maybe it did a little bit.
I had every right to deny Connor. It was strange that he had even extended me such an offer. What would he get out of it? Absolutely nothing.
I did need a favor from him though, as much as I hated to admit it. Dobby needed somewhere to stay, once again, while I attended the wedding.
Me: Hey, do you mind keeping Dobby this coming weekend?
Connor: Of course not. He’s always welcome here.
Me: I owe you. I’m serious. Figure out what I can do for you.
Connor: Let me be your date for the wedding.
Me: Then who would watch Luna and Dobby?
Connor: My sister.
Me: You can’t be serious.
Two seconds later, my phone was ringing.
“Hear me out,” was all Connor said when I answered.
“Okay.” Lucky for him, I was in an agreeable mood.
“I’m a really good dancer.” Connor’s deep voice promised me. It took everything in me to control my laughter. I had to stop laughing at him.
“Why do you want to go with me?” I asked.
“Why would I not want to? Look, my sister loves Luna, and she would love Dobby. She stays at my house to watch Luna when I need her to, and she wouldn’t mind double dog-sitting duty.”
“Okay. I already have my flight booked, but I’ll send you the details. You might still be able to get a ticket on the same flight.”
“So we’re doing this?”
“I guess we’re doing this. The bridal party was gifted suites at the hotel for the big weekend. Mine has two separate bedrooms in it. You can have one of them.”
“I can’t share a bed with you?” His lowered voice made goosebumps appear on my arm, even through the phone.
“No, Connor, you cannot share a bed with me,” I informed him. “Don’t make me regret this.”
“I can guarantee you that you won’t regret this.”
A few minutes after we hung up, my phone vibrated with a new message. It was a mirror selfie of Connor, in a suit, looking ridiculously hot.
Connor: Will this do?
I didn’t even bother responding. He already knew the answer to his question, yet he wanted to hear me say it. He wanted me to stroke his ego.
Yeah, he was delusional. There would be no stroking, of any kind, happening in our future.
First thing on Monday morning, Connor informed me that he was able to book a seat on my flight. Lucky me.
~
I was practically running out of the office on Thursday. I had already packed, but there was still plenty to do before the flight.
Before I made it to the elevator, I ran into a brick wall (A.K.A. Connor).
"Woah, slow down, Tater Tot.” Connor gripped my shoulders. “I didn’t see you down there.”
I wrestled out of his grip and stepped away from him. “Ha. Ha.” I said through clenched teeth. "You’re so funny.”
“It’s not your fault my jokes always go over your head,” he replied. “Short people problems, I guess.”
“Wow, so clever. It’s no wonder you are an incredibly successful comedian.”
“I’ll see you at my place in an hour.” Connor wiggled his eyebrows at me. He intentionally spoke loud enough that a few of our co-workers turned their heads our way. They probably thought he was kidding, or at least I hoped they did. I hopped on the elevator without even acknowledging Connor.
An hour later, Dobby and I were pulling into Connor’s driveway. A sleek black convertible was parked next to Connor’s Bronco, and I could only assume it was his sister's.
“Right on time,” Connor said as I stepped out of the car. I let Dobby out of the backseat, and he bolted to the front door. He felt right at home.
Connor stepped past me to retrieve my luggage, and the next thing I knew, I was being squeezed by a towering woman. Due to our height difference, my face was practically buried in the stranger’s boobs. It was awkward, to say the least.
She finally pulled away and spoke, “Oh my gosh! I just knew you would be adorable. Look how cute you are! I just want to put you in my pocket.” I stared at the natural blonde who stood before me. She looked nothing like Connor. In fact, the only thing they had in common was their height.
“You could have at least introduced yourself before you suffocated her,” Connor said. “Sophie, this is my sister, Alexis.”
“Sorry! Sorry! I just get really excited,” Alexis said while she bounced up and down.
Connor was busy loading my luggage into his car, and I was grateful for a moment alone with Alexis.
“I can’t thank you enough for watching Dobby this weekend.”
“Oh my gosh! I am going to have a blast doing it. You have no idea. I want a pet of my own, but I know my current lifestyle isn't ideal for one right now. I practically beg Connor to go out of town just so I can dog-sit.”
She talked a mile a minute, but it was already evident to me that she was sweet to the core. Before meeting her, I was anxious about leaving Dobby with a stranger. Alexis’s vibrant energy relieved my worries in less than five minutes.
Alexis and Connor spent the drive to the airport discussing what they would get their mom for her upcoming birthday. They quietly bickered about whose idea they would go with. It seemed like a joint gift wasn’t the best option. Couldn’t they both get her something?
I didn’t dare suggest it though. I kept my mouth shut and let the siblings work it out.
THIRTY-FOUR
Connor snapped his fingers in front of my face, effectively waking me from my trance. “Earth to Tater Tot! We’re here.”
Sometimes I thought Connor wasn’t all that bad, but then he would go and open his mouth again. “Thanks, Captain Obvious.”
Alexis giggled.
“Do we amuse you?” Connor asked his sister.
“Oh, you are both so in denial,” she said.
We looked at her with blank faces. I had no idea what she was talking about, and Connor looked equally confused.
“I’ll let you guys figure that one out on your own,” she said with a chuckle.
"Whatever you say, Alexis," Connor said.
"You kids have fun!" Alexis said before she zoomed away.
Security was a walk in the park that evening. Connor and I were at our gate a solid hour before our flight was set to take off, which was a rare occurrence for me. We sat next to each other, playing on our phones, while we waited. I was barely even paying attention while I scrolled through my Instagram feed. I was hyperaware of Connor's presence.
When Connor’s knee accidentally grazed mine, I felt a jolt of electricity that left me with goosebumps. I quickly angled my body away from his to be sure it wouldn’t happen again.
I checked the time and what felt like thirty minutes had only been five. The hour was going to trickle by.
“Let’s play a game,” I suggested.
“Okay, what game?” He looked fairly interested. It was enough to encourage me.
“I spy.”
“I spy? I don’t think I’ve played that since I was a kid.”
“Exactly. Who wants to go first?”
“You. It was your idea.”
“Okay,” I surveyed the area. “I spy something green.”
“That lady's purse,” he said while squinting to see the small green bag that was tucked under the woman’s arm. She was two gates over, and he still got it first guess.
“Whatever,” I said, scowling at him. Connor was somehow good at everything. “Your turn.”
“I spy the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”
I shook my head. “That’s not how the game works,” I informed him.
“Well, let’s make up our own rules.”
I frowned at him. Of course, he wanted to alter the game I suggested we play.
“Just take a guess, Tater Tot.”
“Fine. That guy's burger?” I pointed to the nearby restaurant.
“Nope.”
I glanced around the airport and tried to think of what Connor would see beauty in.
“Is it the furniture?” I asked. “The woodwork?”
He shook his head. “Definitely not.”
“I give up,” I finally said.
“Want to know?”
“Wait! One more guess. Is it her?” I pointed to the woman who stood at the gate next to ours. She had long legs, an impressive waist-to-hip ratio, and the lushest red lips I had ever seen. She had to be a model. Or a goddess.
Connor grinned, and I was confident that I had guessed the correct answer.
“I knew it!” I bragged. Only he would pick out a woman during a game of I Spy.
“You’re still wrong.”
“Okay, I give up. What is it that you spy?”
“You.”
“Wow, I walked right into that one,” I mock applauded him. “Good one.”
“I’m serious.”
“Okay, Connor. Whatever.”
“I think I know what Alexis meant,” he said.
“I don’t care,” I told him.
Connor didn’t try to continue the conversation. He returned to playing on his phone, and I pretended to do the same until we boarded.
Our flight to Colorado was about three hours long. Since Connor purchased his ticket last minute, our seats weren’t together. I wasn’t the least bit sad about the break from Connor the flight would provide me.
I settled into my window seat while Connor continued down the aisle to find his seat. My seat partner, an older gentleman, arrived a few minutes later. We smiled at each other before he picked up his book and started reading. He didn’t manspread. He wasn't overly chatty. He was the ideal person to have to sit next to on a plane.
“Excuse me, sir?” Connor had reappeared and was addressing the gentleman who sat next to me.
The older man lowered his book. “Yes?”
“If it’s not too much trouble, I would love to sit next to my girlfriend.” Connor pointed at me.
“Oh, no, no,” I said. “I am not his girlfriend. You do not have to switch seats with him.”
The older man looked back and forth at the two of us, clearly confused by our relationship. “Oh, it’s no problem. What seat are you in?”
“19B,” Connor told him.
The gentleman headed to meet his new seat partner, and Connor settled into the seat next to me.
“That was completely unnecessary. Who said I even wanted to sit with you?”
“I don’t want to sit next to a stranger for three hours when I could sit next to you instead. Sue me.”
“I am practically a stranger to you.”
“Do you really feel that way?"
“No, apparently, I am your girlfriend,” I said with a mocking grin. “So, sure, we are very close.” I patted his shoulder in the most platonic, non-girlfriend manner possible.
“It seemed like a more valid excuse than that your my co-worker. Or friend. Or whatever label you are comfortable with.” He fidgeted with his pants while he spoke, refusing to make eye contact with me.
“That’s the thing. There’s nothing to label,” I told him.
“Okay, so I’m still in the acquaintance zone. I can work with that.” For a second, I saw a twinkle of determination in his eyes.
“Don’t get your hopes up. You might end up back in the enemy zone after this trip.”
He blatantly ignored my statement. “I love flying at night.” He placed his forearm on my armrest to get a closer look out the small window. Before he could get a good look at the view, I nudged his arm off with my elbow.
“Have you ever heard of personal space?” I asked him.
He cocked his head, and his lips curled up.
“Stay on your side, buddy.” I put my earbuds in and hit play on a podcast before he could respond.
“Tater Tot,” a low voice spoke into my ear. Hot breath tickled my neck, and I reached up to itch the sensitive spot. A firm pillow was beneath my head, and I nuzzled into it.
It took a full minute for me to realize that Connor’s shoulder was the pillow I was snuggled on. I jerked my head off of him so fast, I banged it against the small window. “Ouch!”
“Easy there, Tater Tot.”
“How long did I sleep on you?” I asked. I wiped my face to ensure there wasn’t any drool lingering on my chin.
“Well, our flight is about to land," he glanced at his watch. "So, I’d say, about three hours.” He rubbed his shoulder as if it was tender.
“Well, you could have woken me up!” I pouted. He wasn’t getting any sympathy from me.
“And miss hearing what you mumbled in your sleep? Not a chance.”
“I don’t talk in my sleep.”
“You’re right. You don’t,” he gave me a lopsided grin. “You mumble.”
If our flight was any indication of how our trip would be, we were in for a long weekend.
THIRTY-FIVE
I paced around the hotel suite with my phone pressed against my ear, waiting to speak with the manager. I was trying my best to stay calm, but internally, I was panicking.
"Hello, my name is Malcolm," a voice finally said on the other end of the line. "I'm the reservations manager. How can I help you today?"
"Hi, my name is Sophie Tabor. I just checked in,” I told Malcolm. “I’m supposed to have a two-bedroom suite, but it seems I was given a one-bedroom.”
“Yes, that is correct,” Malcolm replied. “I apologize. There were some last-minute changes made by the bride. We tried to accommodate everyone to the best of our ability.”
“That’s just great,” I muttered to myself before I told Malcolm that I understood. Julia had assumed I was traveling alone. I mean, why wouldn’t she assume that?
I knew I should have already called and told Julia about Connor. I thought about telling her dozens of times, but I didn’t want to add anything to her plate. She had enough to worry about. Besides, there was barely anything to tell.
“We can bring a cot to your room,” he offered. “Unfortunately, we don’t have many other options this evening. We are completely booked.”
“Okay, a cot would be great,” I said. “Thank you.”
A cot wasn’t a solution, but I would take what I could get. There was no way I would be sharing a bed with Connor.
“Someone will bring it up shortly,” Malcolm promised. “Again, I apologize for the confusion. If a double suite becomes available, it’s yours.”
