Ride Hard, page 32
“I can fuck you but there’s no love between us. Roll over. I don’t want to see your face.”
Ruthie rolls to her stomach and sticks her ass in the air. I’m not even hard, but I unzip and start stroking my length, thinking about Alexa and her pretty red lips. The way she gazes at me as though I’m her white knight instead of a demon from the pits of hell. I’m no hero. No saint, but when she stares at me with them pretty green eyes I feel as though I could be saved.
My cock grows erect, and I part Ruthie’s thighs. I don’t want her body or her heart. I slide inside her wishing she were someone else and hating myself for wanting what I can’t have.
“Yes,” Ruthie hisses.
I jerk her head back and clamp a palm to her lips. “Shut the fuck up. Don’t want to hear you either.” She nods, and I grip her shoulder, driving into her harder and harder, closing my eyes and remembering how good Alexa felt when she gave herself to me.
The sweet part of her lips and thighs so ready to be owned by me. The taste of her on my tongue. Fuck. I pull out and beat the head of my dick against the crack of Ruthie’s ass, to finish getting off.
“That’s it?” she seethes as I tuck back into my jeans.
I shrug and she flies at me like a crazy bearcat. Scratching and hitting anywhere she can connect with me. I wrap my arms around her, caging her in. her body sags against mine. “You gonna stop,” I murmur in her ear.
“I swear to you, James, if I find out who you’re fucking I’ll tell my father, and he’ll cut out her heart and make you eat it while I watch.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, sweetheart. I’m a heartless bastard. Bitches I stick my dick in to get it wet don’t matter to me. No more than you do.” I let her go. “Don’t wait up.”
“If you leave, I’ll tell my father you hit me.”
“Think I’m scared of your old man? One day he won’t be around to protect you. Then what will you do?”
Ruthie flings herself onto the bed and punches the mattress like a damn toddler pitching a fit. I leave her to wallow in her own misery. I slam the door and see Rochelle’s light is on. I pray she didn’t hear. I stop at her doorway and peer in at her to see her asleep with her headphones in. Probably to drown out her mother and me. I flick her light off.
“Sleep tight, princess.” I shut her door and go out to climb on my Road King, roaring off into the night toward Alexa.
Chapter Eleven
It’s late that much I know when my door creaks and he enters the room I’ve been staying in at Lily’s. She’s been great to me. Letting me share what I want to at my own pace and never forcing me into any uncomfortable situations or conversations. I’ve been here three or four days and have gotten to know some of the other women and their heartbreaking stories. One thing I have taken away from them is I’m not alone and there is hope for all of us.
“Hey, pretty girl. Did I wake you?” he leans against the wall looking like a biker dream, but there’s a sadness in his eyes.
“No. I couldn’t sleep anyway.” I sit up against the headboard and fiddle with the strap of my tank top that keeps sliding down my arm. “Wasn’t sure I’d see you again.”
“Made you a promise. You’ll never have to worry about Todd ever again.”
I suck in a breath. Chills tingle up and down my spine. The hair on my arms stands. I know Todd’s dead. Part of me is relieved. The rest of me is worried about James. He committed murder for me. “I see. Is that all?” my chin wobbles and tears burn in the creases of my eyes. I don’t want to cry but can’t seem to stop myself. My body trembles, my stomach twists in knots.
In three strides he comes to me. Knuckles brushing along my jaw he smiles. “I’m not good at goodbyes.”
“Does it have to be?”
“Seeing you again was a risk. Got a lot of shit going on. Shit I don’t want you dragged into.”
I wrap my fingers around his wrist. “Don’t go. Not yet.”
“Lex,” he winces, saying my name as if it pains him.
“Please, James. I know you have to go but can’t you just hold me for a minute.”
“It’s not a good idea, babe.” His lips brush over my forehead, and the tears I’ve been holding back fall freely. “Don’t cry.”
“I’ll be okay. You have to go.” I hiccup on a sob, turning my head away, unable to watch him walk out the door for good.
“Look at me.” He jerks my head toward him. “Wish it didn’t have to be this way.”
“I know. Will you....can I kiss you goodbye?”
James sucks in a breath then exhales. “Wish I was strong enough to resist the temptation of you.” His mouth comes down hard on mine, tongue prodding at the seam of my lips. I open to him and taste the saltiness of my own tears.
I grab the collar of his shirt and yank him toward me, catching him off guard. My sexy savior falls onto the bed with me. Fevered by desire he doesn’t break away. He continues to kiss me deep and with lots of tongue, fingers yanking at my clothes. My tank top gets tossed to the floor, and I return the favor, removing his tee, needing to feel him skin to skin one last time. A wave of perfume hits me, and I jerk away.
“You’ve been with someone else.” Scrubbing a palm over his beard he doesn’t deny it. I know he isn’t mine. I wish he were. The realization that I’m not the only woman in his life sucker punches me in the gut.
“You know I’m a married man.”
“I wish you were mine,” I confess. “I hate her. I shouldn’t, but I do. I wish terrible horrible things on her. I know that makes me a bad person.”
“If things were different, I’d make you mine.” He brings my hand to his lips, kisses my knuckles, and slides me to his side, hugging me tight. “I need to go. You deserve better. A fresh start somewhere new. Leave the mistakes you’ve made and the pain you endured behind.”
“Come with me. We can go anywhere. No one would ever find us.”
“We both know I can’t.” he nabs his shirt off the floor, but I stop him from putting it back on. I straddle his thighs. James wraps an arm around my back, and I cup his face between my hands, rubbing his beard.
“I don’t care that you’re married. You were meant to be with me. I know it, and you feel it, don’t you?” I press his palm to my heart over my bare breast. “It can be our secret. Just you and me. No one else. We can make it work. I’ll be with you any way I can be.”
I roll my hips and kiss his lips softly.
“Wouldn’t be fair. Wouldn’t be right.”
“You’re an outlaw. Since when do you care about doing the right thing? Do you love her?”
I hold his gaze refusing to back down from my question.
“Not talking about this with you.”
“I can handle the truth. I may be young, but I’m a good listener.”
“Last thing I wanna do is talk about my marital problems.”
“Then. What. Do. You. Want. To. Do.”
“Bury myself so deep inside you I disappear.” He holds me tighter.
“I wish we could stay like this right here forever.” I breathe him in and hate that I can smell his wife on him. Doing my best to block it out, I cradle my arms around his neck, pressing my breasts against his chest. “Stay with me. For the night.”
His hands rest on my wrists. “I’m no good for you.”
“I can’t unlove you and I don’t want to. You’ll never belong to me in the way that I belong to you. It kills me. But I’d rather take what pieces I can and hold on tight for as long as you’ll let me.”
“Don’t you want better, Lex. Better than this. Better than me.”
“How could there ever be better for me than you? No one has ever made me feel the way I do when you look at me. When you touch me, I think I could die because you showed me what true love is. You’ll say I’m young and don’t know what love is, but I know what hate is. I’ve seen ugly. I’ve tasted it. You killed for me. If that isn’t love, then what is? Who else would go that far for me? No one.”
“I’m no hero. Far from a saint.” Running his hand through my hair he smiles. “You’ve changed. Been forced to grow up a lot faster than you should’ve. You’re going to be just fine without me.” Hand sliding down my back, his fingers trace the ridges of my spine. “I’ve gotta let you go. I can’t keep you, babe. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but you aren’t one of them.”
I rock against him as our lips meet. James kisses me slow and methodical. He does this switch move, flipping me to my back. He gazes down at me, and I swear I can see his soul blazing behind his eyes. Burning for me. I’ll never forget this moment. I’ve committed the memory to my heart. The flames of his kisses dance across my skin. Dragging my shorts down my legs, he continues to taste every inch of my skin along the way until he meets my pelvic bone.
Heart thumping out of my chest I anticipate his next move.
He buries his head between my legs and shows me just how much he adores me with his fingers and tongue.
Teeth sinking into my lip, I bite it to keep from crying out. No one can know about us. They wouldn’t understand that he took the broken fragments holding me together, filled the gaps, and made me whole. Head thrown back on the bed I close my eyes as every stroke of his tongue is killing me slowly. I’ve never been more turned on.
The man doesn’t stop till my knees shakes and my stomach drops as though I’ve just gone down the big dip on a roller coaster.
“Look at me, Lex.”
I go up on my elbows.
“Can’t make you no promises. Can’t give you a damn thing but this. Understand?”
I nod. “You’re not mine. I know that. But it doesn’t mean I can’t be yours.” He snakes up my body and looms over me with intimidation masked over his features. “Shh.” I press my finger to his mouth. “Don’t argue. If this is goodbye let’s make it count. Make love to me.”
His forehead drops to mine, and I’m afraid he’s going to leave. I grab him between the legs, he’s hard as steel.
“I need you.”
A groan leaves his lips. “I fucked my wife before I came here tonight.”
I squeeze him harder. “It doesn’t matter. She’s not here now, but we are. You don’t love her.”
“No.” he tries to jerk away.
“So that’s it. You’re going to pretend that you don’t want me? That you feel nothing. That you don’t want to give me one last piece of you before you go. You gonna go home and kiss your wife after you ate me all night?”
“Watch it,” he growls the words at me.
“You want me.”
“Doesn’t mean I can have you.”
“C’mere.” I crook a finger at him.
“Fuck me,” he mutters and leans toward me.
I wrap a hand around the back of his neck. “Can you really walk away from what you feel for me?”
He pulls away and my heart shatters. My breath hitches in my throat. This is it. I’ve lost him.
“No.” I never knew one word could mean so much till now. He comes at me hot and fast. I go for his zipper, and he makes quick work of getting his jeans off. James lays me down, and slides inside me in one hard thrust that makes my body jolt. “When I’m inside you, feels like home,” he whispers into my neck. “But, baby, tonight I’m going to fuck you till you cry.”
His body moves against mine violently. Our skin slaps together, hips rubbing and rocking as though we can’t get close enough. Hard and deep his strokes are vicious. Sweat drips down his body and clings to me.
“Fuck. So wet. So tight.” He grunts and his cock jerks inside me, his warmth washing over me. Short of breath he kisses me, stroking my cheek. “Perfect, Lex.”
I hug him to me not ready to let go but knowing I have to.
Chapter Twelve
“Where you off to?” I glance at Rochelle, noticing my daughter is growing up too damn fast. I swear she keeps getting taller.
“I’m going out with Colter.”
I raise my brow at her. “Papa’s boy?”
“Yes.” She smiles, batting her lashes.
“Is this a date?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I think so. I really like him.”
“You know the rule.”
“You already know him, so I didn’t think it’s a big deal. You like Colter and Papa is one of your best buds or whatever.”
“Whether or not I like him ain’t got shit do with him taking my daughter out.”
Ruthie comes out of the kitchen licking chocolate frosting off her fingers. “You leaving?”
“You knew about this?” Of course she did.
“I didn’t think it’d be that big a deal.”
Ignoring her, I turn my attention back to Rochelle. “He picking you up?”
“Yeah, then we’re grabbing Alexa and going out to eat.”
Hearing Alexa’s name freezes my blood.
I walked away from her. Our last conversation sounds inside my head.
“Why you gotta make shit so damn hard for me, pretty girl?”
A tear slid down her cheek. “Because I wish you'd choose me. That you'd show me I'm worth the fight. That somewhere buried deep in that black heart a part of you loves me.”
I cupped her jaw, my heart split in two. I'm living a double life. Caught between heaven and hell. “I care about you, baby. You’re the only woman I go on my knees for.” I went to my knees and practically begged her to understand. I never asked for any of this. Hell, she didn’t either. I never expected to fall for her.
“Hello.” A hand waves over my face. “Earth to, Dad.”
“What?” I grumble.
“So can I go?”
“Yeah whatever, but I want a word with him first.”
“Thanks. You’re the best dad ever.” She comes in for a hug.
Ruthie mutters, “That’s debatable.”
Fucking cunt. I’ve been trying my damnedest to appease her. Keeping my enemy close, working her for information on her bastard father. He’s at the top of my list. He’s not an easy man to get to. He started asking too many questions when Alexa turned back up a few days after I dropped her at the train station and Todd didn’t. Called up Lily’s old man, Bronson. Sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. Pressing for answers asking if there had been any new girls brought in.
Only person who knew about Alexa other than Slick was Grudge. I trust Slick. He wouldn’t have turned on me nor Lily, now Grudge that’s debatable. The fucker has a temper and when you piss him off forgiveness doesn’t come easy hence the name. I don’t think I’ve gotten on his bad side, though he did feel slighted when Lily turned him down, but hell that was years ago.
No. Lion’s got eyes on me. And if anything, he knows about Alexa, but the bastard has kept quiet. I know his secret and he knows mine.
“Is it okay if Alexa spends the night?”
“I don’t know if you hanging out with her is such a good idea.”
“She’s my best friend, and I have barely seen her since she got back.”
“Don’t her folks want her at home?”
“They kicked her out.”
“Where is she living then?” Ruthie questions, looking concerned.
Rochelle shrugs. “She’s been staying with Carla, but she can’t live there. I was hoping she could stay here.”
“Here?” I nearly choke the word out.
“She can stay tonight, but your father and I will need to talk about it. Her folks won’t let her come back?”
“I mean, you know how strict her dad is. He’s pretty pissed about her running off with Todd. He dumped her at some motel and left her stranded.”
Fuck me. My fist curls around my beer. She made up a story about that piece of shit. I know she probably did it thinking she was helping to protect me for what I did, but I don’t want her involved. Alexa never should’ve returned.
A knock sounds at the front door. “That’s Colter,” Rochelle says with a squeal. “And, Dad, be nice please.”
I grunt in response as she flies toward the door practically floating. Jesus. I’m not ready for this shit.
“Hey, Colter. Um...can you come in for a sec. My dad wants to talk to you.”
Colter breezes in every bit his father’s son. Dark hair swept back in a ponytail, showing off the shaved sides of his head. Tattooed and dangerous. He looks too damn old to be taking out my princess.
“Murder.” He extends his right hand, and I spy a Tasmanian Devil tattooed on his forearm. I give him a firm shake and it pleases me that he’s not nervous. I respect that he had the balls to show up and face me like a man.
“Colter. Rochelle tells me you’re taking her out tonight.”
“That’s the plan.” He grins at my daughter and my first instinct is to wrap my hand around his throat and toss him out on his ass, but I won’t. Papa’s a good man, and I know Colter is a good kid. If Rochelle is going to date anyone, I’d rather it be him. I know he’ll treat her right or answer to me and his old man.
“Where you taking her?”
“Dinner and a movie.”
“All right. Want her home by ten.”
“Dad,” Rochelle wines and Colter chuckles under his breath.
“Eleven-thirty,” Ruthie overrides me.
“Fine, but not a minute later. Understood.”
“Yes, sir.”
“You kids have a good time. And, Colter. Not a hair on her head, feel me.”
“I’ll keep my hands to myself if that’s what you mean.”
“Lips too.”
“Oh, my God, Dad. Stop.” Rochelle grabs her date by the hand and drags him out the door.
I hear them leave and Ruthie goes back to the kitchen. I follow her. “We need to talk.” I place my beer on the counter and fold my arms across my chest.
“What about?” She sprinkles candy over the cupcakes.
“Alexa.”
Ruthie looks up. “What about her?”
“She can’t move in with us. We don’t need to involve ourselves in whatever trouble she’s gotten herself in.”
“Let me worry about it. You’re a man so you don’t understand these things. It won’t be permanent. I’m sure her parents will come around. I’ll talk to them, but in the meantime, I think she’s safer here then out there on her own. Don’t you?”
