Sassing Saul, page 9
part #10 of Coletti Warlords Series
“Thank you.” Clio stuffed it into her mouth.
Whew! Someone was teaching her human manners. “Where’s your Geema?”
“At home.” She climbed on my lap. “Who you?”
“I’m Annie.”
She snuggled closer and shivered. “Bad man yelled at me.”
I stroked her silver hair. “Why did he do that?”
“He mad cause I ate all the fishes.”
“All of them?” I handed her another piece of chocolate, before she decided to take a bite out of me.
“Me very hungry. No can find Adan.”
“It’s okay. I won’t let the bad man hurt you and Zarek will buy him more fish.” I linked with Saul. “Call off the search. Clio is with me.”
Poof. Casey, Hothar and Saul appeared simultaneously.
Casey sagged in relief. “Oh, thank God.”
“Where did you find her?” The General was back.
“She was masquerading as a suitcase.”
“Me hungry,” Clio wailed.
Detja teleported in holding a large platter with a big chunk of bloody meat on it. “Food Clio.”
Whoosh! Clio was on the meat like a starving predator. Holy cow! The kid had a set of choppers on her. Note to self: When dealing with Katanic shapeshifters always have food on hand.
A brilliant orange glow popped into existence and spun rapidly. I jumped to my feet and summoned a grenade. “What is that?”
“Adan is opening a teleportation portal and the grenade will only piss him off. Get rid of it,” Saul ordered.
I did and edged closer to Saul.
The spinning light accelerated until a vortex formed. Bolts of green lightning crackled wildly around the growing opening.
A huge, heaving silky black mass rolled out.
I clutched Saul’s hand. Adan in his true form was something out of a nightmare. My first instinct was to run as fast and as far as I could, but none of the others seemed alarmed. I took a deep breath. I was a battle-hardened warrior. Not a green recruit. Neither the Tai-Kok or the Rodan had this effect on me, but damn, those tentacles gave me the heebie-jeebies.
Adan’s two burning yellow eyes stared at me. “You have my gratitude for finding Clio.”
“Oh, no biggie. She sorta found me. We played hide and seek. I fed her some chocolate and kept her safe.” I ducked one of his long ropy tentacles and tried to ignore his enormous mouth edged with hundreds of serrated teeth.
Saul tucked me under his arm. “You have my word he won’t hurt you.”
“Uh, huh. Sure.”
“The Overlord has arranged a meal for both you and Clio on the north lawn,” Detja advised.
An incandescent orange light formed around Adan. One of his tentacles shot out and lassoed Clio. The light spun faster and faster and faster until it became a vortex.
Saul braced himself as pillows, a lamp and a flower arrangement went flying by.
Slurppp! Adan and Clio were sucked inside. The tornado of energy vanished.
I looked up at Saul. “Silly question, but why didn’t he just walk over to the north lawn?”
“Adan has a lazy streak.”
“No kidding. Are they coming to our dinner?”
“Lord, I hope not.”
Chapter Eleven
Casey was drop dead gorgeous in a strappy open-back emerald green frock. Me? I looked damn good in a blue mandarin style dress that matched my eyes perfectly. I hoped the slit up the sides would drive Saul nuts. I had styled my hair in an elegant French braid and if I say so myself, I looked smoking hot.
Knock. Knock.
Casey literally ran over to the door and threw it open. Saul and Hothar stood there decked out in black Coletti dress uniforms.
“Yeow! You clean up nice, General.”
Saul stepped inside and brushed his lips over mine. “And you are sexy, beautiful and mine. I’m looking forward to our walk along the beach.”
“Me too.” Delicious prickles of anticipation danced over me as his muscular arm encircled my waist.
“What could be better than romance under a full moon,” Casey sighed.
Hothar snorted. “The moon allows the enemy a better field of vision.”
Saul and I exchanged amused glances.
“Let’s go eat,” Casey said, grabbing Hothar’s arm.
Poof! We teleported into the resort’s dining room and my stomach sank. Clio was busily eating the plates, glasses, flowers and silverware. “No Clio.” I hurried over to the table and snatched a burning candle away from her. “No eat! Burn mouth.”
“Me hungry,” she whined.
You and me both. I gave her the chocolate bar I had stuffed in my embroidered evening purse. Clio’s lightning fast tentacles snatched my tube of lipstick, a breath mint and two condoms before I could stop her. “Give them back.” A game of tug-of-war ensued.
Casey’s eyes widened. “Are those condoms?”
“Yes.” I could feel myself blushing and tried to pry them loose from Clio’s grip. “Let go.”
“Condoms?” Surprised flashed across Saul’s face, followed quickly by anticipation. He bellowed, “Adan! Come get the kid. Now!”
Clio’s tentacles slipped through my fingers and she crammed everything in her mouth.
Crap! There was no way I was sticking my hand down her gullet. Hopefully, Saul had brought his own condoms.
“Dammit! Where’s Adan?” Saul demanded.
Shouts and screams erupted from the kitchen area.
“My first guess would be the kitchen,” Casey answered.
“Stay put!” Saul teleported.
The screaming got louder.
Glass shattered.
Thud. Thump. Crunch. Bam! Bang! Zzzzzt! Zzzzzt! Zzzzzt! Zzzzzt! A portion of the wall dissolved into zillions of red fireflies.
The chef and his staff ran for their lives.
I caught a brief glimpse of a moron in black armor hurling pots and pans at Adan. Yeah, like that was gonna work.
I glared up at Hothar. “Well, what are you waiting for? Go help him.”
“The General is a capable warrior. He does not want or need my help.”
“Seriously?”
Hothar shrugged. “He is enjoying himself and would be angry if I interfered.”
“He’s right. My uncle does enjoy a good fight,” Casey confirmed.
The building shuddered as something large crashed down.
“If Adan eats Saul, he’s one dead alien.” I ran into the kitchen and skidded to a stop. The appliances had been demolished and half of the back wall was completely gone.
Two guys wearing black storm trooper armor disappeared down Adan’s gaping jaws.
Saul slugged it out with a Hispanic man dressed as a Mexican Federale.
Another dude in the spiffy red Legionnaire’s armor did his stupid dance on the counter tops. “Ka nate whakatu. Tutu ngarahu. Waewae.”
“Whatever.” I hit him with a stun grenade. He toppled to the floor. “I bet the guys will have a lot of questions for you to answer. Like who told you where we were? How you by-passed our security systems and why we didn’t sense you?”
“Excellent questions,” a deep voice said from behind me. I jumped about a foot and spun around.
Detja and Zarek were striking in their formal black Coletti dress uniforms. They watched Saul unleash a series of snap kicks into the fake Federale’s gut, knocking him on his ass.
The fake cop went for his side arm.
I hurled a stun grenade at him. A satisfied smile curved my mouth as the cop’s eyes rolled back in his head and he keeled over.
Saul shot me the evil eye. “I had him.”
“You did, but I wanted to share in the fun.” I gave Zarek a bright smile. “Everything is under control, sir.”
“Except dinner,” Detja lamented.
I surveyed the kitchen. It was a total loss. “You think the resort’s gonna kick us out?”
“No, we own this resort,” Zarek responded.
“Oh. How fortunate.”
A head suddenly bulged out from Adan’s hide, its mouth frozen in an endless scream.
I swallowed hard. That was the freakiest thing I had ever seen.
Saul slid a comforting arm around my waist. “In battle, Adan can eat up to a hundred lifeforms at a time.”
“Oh. Wow. How utterly terrifying. Are you sure he’s on our side?”
“I am.”
Detja examined the large amount of moving body parts protruding from Adan’s body. “How many attackers did you eat, father?”
“Forty-three,” he answered. One of his tentacles slithered over the unconscious Legionnaire.
“Do not eat him,” Zarek snapped.
Adan quickly retracted the tentacle.
A Chinese man in a white chef’s jacket stepped out of the walk-in freezer and raised his hands. “No shoot! No shoot! Me no malo hombre.”
I cocked my head. “So, I guess those silver discs on your temples are for headaches and you use that gun to tenderize the meat?”
The chef went for his weapon.
Power roiled around the room as the Overlord seized control of his mind.
Huh? The discs didn’t slow down Zarek a bit. Maybe he could teach me that trick.
Zarek shifted through the chef’s memories not caring about the pain he caused or the damage he did.
The chef moaned pitifully.
A shudder shook me. Man, that was just brutal. It was also a reminder of why Zarek was the Overlord. His mental powers were off the chart. He was merciless in battle and anyone who got in his way, didn’t live long.
Hothar appeared in the room. “I have located their shuttle, captured the pilot and downloaded all the ship’s data, my lord.”
Hothar, the one-man army,” Casey snarked in my head.
“Teleported without you, huh?”
“Yes.”
Zarek released the chef and he crumpled to the floor, deader than a doornail. “Excellent work. Return to the ship. We have a traitor to find and punish.”
After a slight hesitation, Hothar teleported.
“My lady, you will stay here and watch after Casey and Annie,” Zarek stated.
I interjected politely, “Ah, that’s not really necessary, sir. We can take care of ourselves.”
“This is not open to debate. You will do as I say. Am I clear?”
The menace in Zarek’s voice had me saluting him. “Yes, sir.”
“As you command, my lord.” Detja gave him a slight bow and stormed out of the kitchen.
Someone wasn’t getting any nooky tonight.
Shooting me a black glare, Zarek picked up the unconscious Legionnaire and poof! He was gone.
“You need to control your thoughts around the Overlord,” Saul lectured.
“If the Overlord stopped reading my mind, he wouldn’t be offended. Now would he?” One look at Saul’s face and I sighed. The General was back. No moonlight walk, and our vacation was looking pretty iffy too. “What can I do to help, sir?”
“Nothing. Zarek has called a war council,” the General answered.
“And let me guess. Females aren’t invited?”
“No.”
“That’s a stupid rule. Have you forgotten how often the Jones’ girls save the universe?”
“Only Coletti warlords are allowed to attend a war council.”
“My hoo-ha hasn’t stopped me from being a warrior. Why should it exclude me from a war council?”
“It is what it is,” the General stated.
I cocked an eyebrow. “That’s not only demeaning, but an incredibly stupid thing to say, General.
With a low growl, Saul grabbed me and kissed me senseless. “Saul. My name is Saul. We will have that walk on the beach and you are my woman.”
God, could that man kiss. I shook my head to clear it. If Saul thought he could pull that macho crap on me, he was sadly mistaken. “That’s still open to debate.”
“No. It’s a done deal.” Saul tossed the fake Federale over his shoulder and teleported away.
“Is not.” I stepped around the brain fluid leaking from the chef’s ears and walked back into the dining room.
Detja cradled Clio in her arms. Asleep, and in human form, the baby shapeshifter was adorable.
I slumped on a chair. “Is there something in the Coletti DNA that turns men into idiots?”
Casey laughed. “I think it’s all that testosterone. It fries their little brains.”
“Why did Zarek bar you from the war council Detja? I thought you and Kaylee were given warlord status?” Okay, I was being nosey.
“We were, but the war council is limited to males only. It is a tradition I have been trying to change. I have made some progress,” Detja said.
“It’s time us girls joined forces and shook things up a bit.”
“I agree.” Detja’s smile was truly evil.
The Overlord had to know pissing off Detja was never a good idea. From the stories I had heard, she was a formidable opponent.
Casey sighed. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”
“The Cabo Cantina is a mile down the beach. It has great fajitas and I’m buying,” Detja said.
Casey and I exchanged grins. “Sounds like a plan.”
“Father,” Detja called sharply.
It took Adan two tries to squeeze through the kitchen doors. Heads, hands, boots and fists shoved against his hide.
Adan’s snacks were quite determined to escape. I shivered. Couldn’t say I blamed them.
He rolled over to Detja. “Yes, Daughter?”
“Take Clio back to Tanith.”
“As you command.” He gently plucked Clio from her arms. “Be careful, Daughter. The traitors have not yet been captured.”
Detja’s expression was that of a roused predator. “Excellent.”
“Oh goodie. Dinner and entertainment,” Casey crowed.
An incandescent orange light danced around Adan and Clio. The light spun faster and faster and faster until it became a vortex.
I hung onto Casey who had a firm grip on a banister.
The wind didn’t seem to bother Detja.
To my amazement Clio never woke up.
Slurppp! The shapeshifters were sucked inside. Twenty seconds later the tornado was gone.
I did a little jig. “Party time.”
“Cabo Cantina has a kickin’ band too and I’m in the mood to dance,” Casey said.
“So am I.”
“Follow me.” Detja opened the patio doors and walked outside.
We obediently trotted after her.
She tapped several icons on her warrior’s bracelet and a doorway opened in the energy shield.
“I bet a zillion alarms are going off about now,” Casey chortled.
Detja smiled blandly and wrapped an arm around us. “We do not need our males’ approval to enjoy ourselves. We do as we wish.”
“You bet your ass we do. We are women. We are invincible. Hear us roar!” I let out a little yip of surprise when inky blackness enveloped us for a fleeting second. Poof! We were standing on the beach. “Awesome way to travel.”
“It is,” Detja agreed and touched her bracelet. The doorway in the energy field closed.
Chapter Twelve
The Cabo Cantina was an open-air tavern with a thatch roof and tiki torches. Instead of bar stools swings hung from the rafters. I wondered how many drunk customers had fallen out of them?
A dozen patio tables and chairs were scattered about the beach. The clever owner used a food truck as his kitchen and instead of a stage, a Latin band played on top of a flatbed trailer. Several dancers did a smokin’ hot cha-cha on the sand. An enthusiastic crowd had gathered to watch them.
“I’ll get us a table,” I said and walked over to an American dude who was face down on the beveled glass top. “Hey, buddy. Wanna free beer?”
He lifted his head and blinked at me. “Free?”
“Yep. See that girl in the green dress?” I pointed at Casey.
“Yeah.”
“She’s buying.”
The American dude struggled to his feet, took one step and did a face-plant.
“What a surprise. Drunk as a skunk.” I shook his shoulder. “Hey, you okay, buddy?”
He pushed himself upright and began to retch like a sick puppy.
“No. No. No. Don’t you dare puke.” I quickly levitated the drunk American up to the porta potty. “Do it in there. Not on the sand.”
He stumbled inside and hurled all over the toilet.
Ugh. Glad I wasn’t cleaning that up.
“Isn’t spring break grand,” Casey quipped mentally.
“Not so much.” An itchy sensation had me mentally surveying the area. No Rodan. No human hostiles. No irate Coletti warlords. Yet. Detja placed our order at the food truck, while Casey still stood in line to buy beer.
Brushing the sand off the chairs, I sat down and stared out at the ocean. A marigold moon hung over the rolling waves, turning the water an iridescent gold. A perfect night for romance and here I was, alone again.
“I’m not staring at your boobs, I’m staring at your heart,” An inebriated male voice said.
Someone up there had a nasty sense of humor. “Go away. You’re sloshed and I’m not interested.” I kept my gaze on the ocean.
“I’m not drunk. I’m just intoxicated by you,” the Casanova wannabe stated.
I turned my head and examined the horny teenager. Was he an aspiring gangster or ladies’ man? The slew of gold chains hanging down the front of his sleeveless white t-shirt were an invitation to be robbed. Junior’s baggy jeans displayed his not so sexy plaid underwear. I grinned at his hilarious bow-legged stride. It was the only way he could keep his pants up. Why was he emulating a style that went out of vogue over ten years ago? Did Casanova think girls would swoon at the sight of his ugly boxer shorts?
Casanova flexed his puny biceps and preened. “Like what you see?”
“Not really. I’m old enough to be your mother. Vamoose.”
Junior gave me his best seductive smile. “Aside from being smoking hot, what do you do for a living?”
“I’m the Grim Reaper. Are you looking to die?”
