“No.” Becky was either loony toons or putting on one hell of an act. I tried to scan her mind but hit an impenetrable mental wall. Damn, she was a null. I doubted even the Overlord could get into her mind.

  “No? But everyone loves clowns. Everyone! They make people happy. You know?”

  Tom snapped loudly, “Becky!”

  She stared at him in open-mouthed surprise. “What? You don’t like clowns?”

  I smothered a laugh at the “Oh dear God” expression on Tom’s face.

  “The show starts in another fifteen minutes. We need to get you outfitted.”

  “Sure. Sure. I’m just so excited,” Becky giggled.

  With an eye roll, Tom escorted her back to the dressing room.

  I had a feeling Becky wouldn’t be with us very long.

  An alien masquerading as Wyatt Earp burst through the swinging doors. He was wearing a ten-gallon hat, western-style shirt with fringe on the sleeves, chaps, and six shooters strapped on his hips. He carefully surveyed the saloon’s occupants.

  An elderly woman hurried over to him. “Can I get a picture with you Marshal?”

  The alien Wyatt Earp smiled at her hungrily.

  I had a horrible feeling he was a Katanic shapeshifter. If he tried to eat the old lady, I’d have to stop him. The chances of subduing him weren’t too good. The Katanic were deadly fighters.

  An enormous nun charged into the Painted Lady. Holy cow! That wasn’t one of our actors. No, I couldn’t be that lucky. The nun’s habit disguised an extremely powerful Coletti warrior. Who was he hunting?

  Casey walked in after him, wearing her Annie Oakley outfit complete with six shooters. I let out a breath of relief. I wasn’t his prey. I’d bet my last credit Casey was pursuing an Earth First traitor. Since Becky Sullivan had just shown up, she was probably their quarry.

  The Coletti fixed his gaze on me. I locked down my shields as he scanned me and projected a harmless, I’m not a psychic vibe.

  Casey quickly directed his attention to the elderly woman taking the selfie with Wyatt Earp. With a frustrated sigh, the Coletti hurried over to them.

  I grinned when the old gal talked the Coletti warrior into a selfie too. Casey weaved her way through the tables and bellied up to the bar. “Love the outfit Annie. Someone call off?”

  “Angela’s kid is sick. You on duty?”

  “I am.”

  I slid her a sarsaparilla and asked casually, “Are more of your Coletti friends coming?”

  “Yes, we’re tracking a traitor who’s selling psychic humans to the Rodan.”

  I groaned when the mental image of a skinny blonde formed in my mind.

  “Seen her around?”

  I nodded. Now I knew why the dancer looked so familiar. She had caused a big ruckus at the Civil War Days event last year. “Doesn’t she date your cousin Ethan?”

  “She did, but Ethan couldn’t stand Mary Beth’s odd habits and broke it off.”

  “Other than being a Chatty Kathy and believing she’s an expert on every topic under the sun and liking clowns? Those odd habits?” Her brief visit had left a lasting impression on me.

  Casey grimaced. “Her incessant babbling was a big turn off, but Ethan found it difficult to get romantic with a gal who constantly had a floss pick stuck in her mouth. I think the final straw came when she started hogging the rearview mirror to check for witches’ hairs on her chin.”

  “You’re joking, right?”

  “Nope.” Casey made the sign of the cross. “Cross my heart and swear to God, it’s all true. Kaylee’s parents felt sorry for Mary Beth and got her a job at Central Command’s secretarial pool. They thought the military would give her the structure she needed.”

  I shook my head in disbelief. “Wow. That went south in a big way. I’m pretty sure Mary Beth is the dancer Tom just hired. They’re scheduled to do the cancan in about five minutes.”

  “We want to quietly take her into custody and I’m hoping she doesn’t put up a fuss.”

  “You should be able to handle one skinny bitch. If not, I’ve got Bertha.” I pulled a shotgun from under the bar and racked it. “It would be my pleasure to fill her backside with buckshot.”

  “Got a laser pistol under there too?”

  “You know me. I’m always armed.” I motioned at the Coletti. “Who’s the big dude in the nun’s habit?”

  “That’s Hothar, my mate.”

  My jaw dropped. “Mate? Aren’t you a little young for that nonsense?”

  Casey shrugged. “I am, but our minds are linked now, and that connection can never be broken. Unless one of us dies. Which would suck.”

  “Damn, the Coletti warriors have ‘until death do us part’ thing down pat. How does your uncle feel about it?”

  “He considers it a mixed blessing. I’m still in shock at how fast we bonded. The problem is we’re horny all the time and we can’t consummate our relationship until I’m twenty-one. That’s two years from now! I mean, seriously? Who comes up with these stupid rules?”

  “Adults with your best interests in mind. I bet the General’s going nuts trying to contain two lovesick teenagers,” I chortled.

  “Zarek isn’t happy with us either.”

  Horror knotted my stomach. “Zarek? Is he coming here?”

  “Probably.” Casey placed her hand over mine. “Relax. Your shields are very, very good.”

  “Evidently not good enough.” A shudder shook me. “When did you know I was like you?”

  “The last Tai-Kok attack. You’re damn good at killing monsters with your mind.”

  “It’s a gift and a curse. My husband thought I was the Grim Reaper.”

  “I seem to remember he was a bit of a coward. Didn’t he take off and leave you to face the Tai-Kok alone?”

  A bitter smile pulled at my mouth. “He did, and got eaten for his troubles.”

  “Karma’s a bitch.”

  “Are my shields good enough to fool the Overlord?” I hated the note of fear in my voice.

  Casey chewed on her lower lip. “I don’t know. I’ll do my best to keep them away from you.”

  “Thank you.” I squeezed Casey’s hand as a Cancan song began to play over the loudspeakers. “Now go catch that bitch.”

  “My pleasure.”

  I felt Casey link with Hothar and the alien who were still doing selfies with the tourists.

  The curtains on the raised stage slid back and dancers wearing red satin dresses and black fishnet stockings broke into the Cancan.

  I watched Casey stalk over to the stage.

  Mary Beth’s eyes widened in horror when she spotted her. She missed a step and almost kicked another dancer in the face.

  My boring day was about to get exciting.

  Casey shouted, “Mary Beth Dunson you’re under arrest for treason and three hundred and one counts of murder. Oh yeah, you’ve got a nasty ass hair on your chin too.”

  “Well, you’re ugly and a dead fink!” Mary Beth pulled a Glock from God knows where and opened fire.

  Casey dropped to the floor. The flying bullets took out the stage lights, the chandelier and several gas lamps on the wall.

  Holy crap! My poor chandelier. It was a good thing Mary Beth couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn or we’d have a lot of dead tourists. I watched the other dancers run for their lives. If she kept this up, she was going to hurt someone.

  Hothar bellowed a terrifying war cry and charged the stage.

  I picked up the loudspeaker microphone and said, “Surrender Mary Beth, and you might live to floss another day.”

  “Death to the fake Sirens, Coletti invaders and their allies!” Mary Beth shouted and fired at Hothar. A window shattered behind him.

  The audience clapped loudly. The idiots thought it was part of the show.

  One look at Casey’s furious expression and I knew all hell was about to break loose. She pulled both of her six-shooters and fired. The first bullet knocked the gun out of Mary Beth’s hand and the second blew the red feather plume off her hat.

  I grinned. There was a reason Casey could play Annie Oakley. She was one hell of a sharpshooter.

  Mary Beth shrieked in fury and produced a laser pistol.

  Hothar teleported behind her.

  “Nice try, you evil harpy.” Casey blasted the pistol out of her hand too.

  The crowd roared their approval.

  The twisted bitch pulled out a derringer.

  Grabbing Big Bertha, I headed toward the stage and tried to figure out where in the hell Mary Beth was hiding all those guns.

  “I have blood rights to the female,” Wyatt Earp roared. There was a streak of black as a tentacle looped around the derringer and yanked it away.

  The entire crowd gasped in horror when more tentacles sprouted from Earp’s body and a huge maw formed where his face should have been. Screams erupted as everyone ran for their lives.

  Smart tourists.

  “You won’t let Adan eat me,” Mary Beth said confidently.

  Hothar chuckled. “And why is that?”

  “I am the queen,” Mary Beth declared.

  The always inquisitive Casey asked, “The queen of what?”

  “Of the Coletti people. Waewae is my husband.”

  Casey’s eyebrows shot up in astonishment. “You’re a member of Earth First who wants all of the aliens gone from Earth, and yet you married one? Don’t get me wrong, you’re perfect for each other, but where in the hell did you two meet?”

  “The Rodan commander Bay Kal introduced us. It was love at first sight.”

  Whoa! A Rodan match maker? Who would have thought it? Made me wonder if they had dating sites too? And who in the hell was Waewae? Was he part of the Legionnaires? I’d have to ask Casey.

  “When you became a traitor Mary Beth, you went all the way. Literally,” Casey growled.

  “Unlike you, I’m doing what’s right for the galaxy. Your precious clan claims they’re the saviors of our people. What a crock! You’re in cahoots with the Coletti usurpers and you stole my Siren powers.”

  “Sweetie if you married Waewae, a hybrid Coletti, you’re also in cahoots with the aliens, and how in the hell did we steal your Siren powers? You never had any,” Casey retorted.

  “Every time Ethan fucked me, he siphoned off some of my incredible psychic abilities. When there was nothing left, he dumped me and moved on to his next victim. You’re all energy-sucking vampires. Waewae was able to restore my gifts and now I’m stronger than all of you. Bow down to me or I will destroy your feeble minds.”

  Hothar grinned like a loon. “Please try.”

  “Wait!” Casey cried. “Before you destroy our feeble minds, you do realize the Rodan like to eat psychic brains? Right?”

  Mary Beth cackled. “They fear us. Waewae, Lilkee and me are the most formidable beings in the universe.”

  “No. That would be Qa’a, the leader of the Katanic shapeshifters and the Overlord,” Casey countered.

  Hothar interjected, “Don’t forget Bebo, the Gorum king.”

  “Gee, how could I forget him? Zoey and Bebo are best buddies. Then there’s the Alliance,” Casey said.

  “Enough! With my quantum logic gates, I will lay waste to the Coletti, Katanic and Gorum Empires,” Mary Beth crowed.

  “Sweetie, that was the wrong thing to say.”

  “Eat her, Adan,” Hothar instructed the alien lawman.

  Mary Beth squawked as Adan’s tentacles grabbed her. “Stop him! I am your queen. It’s your duty to protect me.”

  “No. It is not,” Hothar rumbled and pulled off his nun’s habit.

  Yeow! With his firm jaw and those chiseled Coletti cheekbones, Hothar could hire himself out as a male model. He wore a bronze communication bracelet on his left wrist and bronze chains were woven into his ebony warrior braids. His black, battle suit fit him like a glove, emphasizing every bulging muscle. I could see why Casey couldn’t keep her hands off him.

  Hothar bared his fangs and snarled, “I answer only to Zarek, General Jones and the Battle Commander. You are a pathetic female, not a queen, and you do not have the intelligence to build the quantum logic gates or run Earth First. But soon you will eagerly tell us who your leader is.”

  “Feel my wrath,” Mary Beth shrieked and scrunched up her face in fierce concentration.

  With my shotgun slung over one shoulder, I walked over to the stage, and tried not to get too close to Adan, the quite terrifying Katanic shapeshifter. “Is she constipated or is someone fucking her mentally?”

  Casey laughed. “No. She’s trying to smite us with her mind.”

  “Huh? I don’t feel anything. How about y’all?”

  “Nope. Nada,” Casey replied.

  Hothar shook his head and eyed me curiously.

  Adan waved a tentacle at us. “Can I eat her now?”

  “No,” Hothar and Casey said in unison.

  “Die! Die! Die!” Mary Beth’s voice was a wail.

  I laughed. “Give it a rest, Tinkerbell, you couldn’t swat a fly with your mental abilities, let alone a Siren or a Coletti warrior or a shapeshifter. Do the right thing and tell Casey who’s running Earth First. You were part of her family once. What happened to your heart? How can you let innocent people be eaten by the monsters?”

  “The Jones clan are the monsters!” Mary Beth’s face contorted even more. “They don’t deserve to live.”

  “Neither do you,” Hothar interjected. “Know this. The pain will be excruciating as Adan’s digestive juices slowly melt away your flesh. No one will hear your screams. It will take three long days before your heart ceases to beat. Tell us what we want to know, and I will grant you a merciful death.”

  “Why aren’t you dead?” Mary Beth’s eyes popped open and she stared at us in utter horror. “You should all be dead.”

  “You’re a null. That means you don’t have a lick of extrasensory talents and can’t kill us with your mind,” I replied.

  “That’s impossible. You’re lying. My beloved promised me I would be stronger than Zarek. Lilkee, Waewae and I will rule the galaxy together,” Mary Beth screeched.

  I rolled my eyes. “And you believed him? Are you that gullible? Or just stupid?”

  “Lilkee knows what it feels like to be betrayed by her own family. To have her powers taken. To be deemed worthless. To see her home world destroyed by fools. Now you will feel our pain. You will lose everything you hold dear and watch as the Earth is annihilated.”

  Rage and loathing flashed across Casey’s face. “Well, boohoo. Your feelings got hurt. Get over it, you psychotic bitch. After we welcomed you into our homes, you betrayed us. Then you did the unthinkable. You sold your own people to the Rodan. It’s only fitting you suffer the same fate.” Casey gestured at Adan. “She’s all yours.”

  “Put me down! Put me down!” Mary Beth screamed until a tentacle silenced her.

  “She would be quite tasty dipped in chocolate,” Adan commented.

  Casey gaped at the shapeshifter. “You like chocolate?”

  “Very much so.” Her feet kicking wildly, Mary Beth was quickly stuffed inside Adan’s gaping maw.

  “When I have the time, I bake chocolate chip cookies and shit like that. I’ll make you some,” Casey promised.

  I knew it was rude to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help myself. Who knew aliens liked chocolate and Casey could cook?

  “Chocolate cake too?” Hothar, her hunky mate, wanted to know.

  Casey nodded. “My specialty is German Chocolate cake.”

  My mind began to itch. I peeked out the swinging doors. Five Genghis Khan wannabes stalked down the street like weird Japanese gunslingers. Their lacquered red body armor gleamed under the sun. They had to be the infamous Legionnaires I had heard so much about.

  The few remaining tourists took one look at them and ran in the opposite direction.

  “Hostiles, twelve o’clock,” I warned the others.

  “Earth First must have sent them to retrieve Mary Beth,” Hothar said.

  “And the bad news is, they’re all wearing quantum logic gates. The last thing we need is more of them going boom,” Casey added.

  What the heck were quantum logic gates and what made them go boom? If I asked, they would know I was telepathic. Not good. I turned to Casey. “What’s up with those funky domed helmets?”

  “They’re supposed to strike fear into their enemies’ heart,” Casey answered.

  “What were they thinking? Antlers aren’t scary. The dudes kinda remind me of extras from some fourth-century samurai war movie.”

  Hothar smiled, showing a lot of fang. “They are easily defeated in battle.”

  “Damn, I was hoping for a good fight,” I said sorrowfully.

  Adan morphed into a huge, heaving, silky black mass with creepy tentacles. “I am starving. They will do nicely for dinner.”

  I stifled a shriek. Holy Mother of God. Adan was terrifying and at the same time fascinating.

  “Wait!” Casey grabbed a tentacle and grimaced as slime oozed through her fingers. “Will the acid in your stomach cause the logic gates to explode?”

  “It is a possibility.” Adan changed back into his Wyatt Earp form and rubbed his hands together. “We will have a shoot-out at the K.O. Corral.”

  “Yippee-ki-yay,” Casey moaned.

  I grinned at her. “You know such interesting lifeforms.”

  “Comes with the territory.” Casey grabbed a napkin and wiped the goop off her hand. “Wait until you meet Bey.”

  “Bey?”

  “He’s a Tabor.”

  “I’ll pass. Eight-legged critters give me the willies,” I said with a shudder.

  Casey smiled up at Hothar. “What’s the plan Hot Lips?”

  I snickered.

  Expelling a long-suffering sigh, Hothar said, “While Adan draws their attention, I teleport in behind them and we can catch them in a crossfire.”

  “Good plan.” Casey pulled her Colt Frontier six-shooters and twirled them expertly. “Annie and I will lay down cover fire if necessary.” She slid them back in the holsters.

  Hothar handed Casey one of his laser pistols. “First thing tomorrow, I am buying you some body armor and a proper Coletti weapon.” He leaned down and gave her a long, voracious kiss with tongue.

 

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