Forever Love: A Novella Collection, page 22
“Once Aria told me how connected we were it all made sense. How even when I would pull your braid and you’d holler at me, I always felt more comfortable when you were close. I’ve never cared about anyone the way I care about you.”
Her eyes filled with tears and her lower lip wobbled. “I… I don’t know why. I was so mean.”
“There are many things Chloe has to tell you, Jackson. You have much to talk about tonight, but I promise it will be worth it,” Aria said kindly.
Chloe blushed and looked away as she grumbled something about sounding stupid. Aria made a hmph noise.
“You’ll come to understand that there is nothing you can’t tell your other half. Your souls connect at the deepest level, and the love between you is unconditional. Nothing bad will ever come from honesty between the two of you.”
When she finished speaking, Aria stood. “Although there’s nothing as exciting as the two of you to look forward to for the rest of the evening I do have more readings scheduled so I must bid you adieu.”
After we said our goodbyes and left the tent, I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my entire being. Eight years had passed since the night Aria told me that Chloe and I were connected, so I’d had plenty of time to wrap my head around it. So while I was relieved that everything was finally out in the open, I could see that Chloe was overwhelmed. She needed to be put at ease and I instinctively knew how to do that. Reaching out, I took her hand in mine as we walked. The instant we were connected I felt some of her tension— and mine—ease.
She made a sound of frustration as she stared at our hands. “How did I not notice this before?”
I shrugged. “It’s like Aria said— sometimes we ignore things that are right in front of us because we aren’t ready to deal with it.”
Chloe stopped walking and gestured with her head toward something in the distance. Following the gesture, I saw Alec and Caroline were about seventy feet away at the bushel basket toss booth. Chloe needed some time to come to terms with all that she’d heard in Aria’s tent and the carnival was the perfect distraction.
“Let’s go let off some steam with our friends,” I suggested. “Afterward, we can go back to my place and talk—or we can wait and do that tomorrow, or whenever you feel ready to do it. There’s no rush, Chlo. We have time.”
She bit her lip and looked at me tentatively. “You’re okay with that?”
I looked her square in the eye so she’d know I was telling the truth. “I’m fine with it. Let’s have some fun.”
Of course, our friends immediately noted the fact that Chloe and I were holding hands. I could tell by the expression on Alec’s face that he was going to have some fun at our expense.
“You two lovebirds are quite a sight. Does this mean you might finally forgive me for the seven minutes in heaven incident?” he asked Chloe.
I reflexively covered my junk with my free hand as the memory of the night in question played out in my mind. It had gone down at Heather Miller’s thirteenth birthday party—which had taken place just six weeks before Madam Aria told me Chloe was my soulmate.
When the game started, I’d conspired with Alec to make sure that Chloe didn’t kiss anyone but me. The plan worked, and Chloe and me shared our first kiss in a closet in Heather’s basement. I still remembered the silky soft feel of her warm lips under mine, and the sweetness of her taste on my tongue. It was the best first kiss in history— right up until the moment the door opened and she realized she’d been kissing me. Unfortunately, her immediate reaction was to knee me in the balls. Even though I’d dropped to the floor and held back tears of pain, it had been worth it to me to ensure that our first kiss was shared with one another.
Three years passed before we kissed again. That time she’d known exactly who she’d been about to kiss. We’d hooked up at a party and had spent two hours making out in the dugout at the little league. I’d thought we’d turned a corner but the next day when I called her, she told me it only happened because she was drunk on wine coolers. Two wine coolers, to be exact. That hadn’t been enough for her to be drunk and I’d known it, but there was no arguing with her. Those kisses held me over for years, while my desire for her had grown exponentially during that time.
I can say without any hesitation that I’d been hers long before either of our kisses. Had, in fact, been hers since that first day in our preschool class. She’d been wearing a bright yellow dress with little daisies around the hem and her chestnut colored hair had been in two uneven pigtails. I remember watching from across the room as my mom fixed the pigtails so they hung just so. The smile that spread across Chloe’s face as she beamed up at my mom in thanks made my heart beat funny against my chest. I’d been a goner from that moment on, even though our first fight happened approximately twenty-eight minutes later when I put a small handful of sand on the back of her dress. Instead of laughing the way Alec did whenever I dumped sand on him, she’d turned around and punched me in the stomach.
The sound of Chloe’s soft laughter ended my trip down memory lane.
“The only person I wanted to kiss was Jackson,” she admitted. “I was mostly mad because I thought you two were making fun of me and it hurt my feelings.”
Fuck, looking back I could think of so many times when I’d tried to show my interest and to her it must’ve come off like I’d been fucking around like a snot-nosed little prick. Of course I hadn’t been. Where Chloe was concerned, I was always serious.
“I was never, ever making fun of you,” I said earnestly. “I’m sorry I gave you any reason to think I was.”
She squeezed my hand. “I see that now,” she assured me. “I was just… sensitive.”
“Alright kids, let’s not get too serious here,” Caroline chided. “I’ve got Alec trying to win me the stuffed unicorn from the top row but as everyone knows, his throw is painfully bad.”
“Hey!” Alec laughed, affronted. “I’ll have you know that the Red Sox wanted to draft me.”
All three of us burst out laughing. Alec and I had played little league and later high school baseball together, and his lack of throwing ability was legend in Bliss. It didn’t matter where he was positioned—once the ball left his hand, there was a good chance that someone’s car would be dinged up. By our senior year, the coaches had begged him to try basketball instead. That hadn’t been any better.
“I’ve got you covered, babe,” Chloe laughed.
Together, the four of us fanned out along the bushel basket toss counter. I paid a small fortune for twelve weighted bean bags and handed them to Chloe. I wasn’t too proud to admit that she had better aim than I did. Always had, and probably always would.
It took forty-five minutes and sixty-one dollars to do it, but Chloe managed to win Caroline the unicorn she’d wanted. I was there to be supportive but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I spent the entire time hoping time would speed up so I could get her back to my place. It felt incredible to be able to talk with and touch her without there being any kind of anger between us, and I was dying to be alone with her.
I got lucky, because Alec and Caroline started showing increased signs of wanting to be alone together as well. That was made obvious by the fact that with each passing minute they got a little more touchy-feely. When it got a little too heated for the carnival goers, I shut it down.
The ride back to my apartment passed quickly—which was a really good thing since our friends had decided to make out in the back of my Volvo. When I pulled into the parking lot I hurriedly parked so I could get out and open Chloe’s door. I didn’t wait for Alec and Caroline since they’d yet to notice we were parked. Once Chloe was out I leaned my head back in and coughed dramatically. The way they sprang apart was comic relief.
“Time to take this to Alec’s apartment because I’ve got a no bodily fluids in the Volvo policy.”
As soon as they were out of my car I locked it up and Chloe and I waved them off. The way our apartment complex was laid out meant that Alec and I lived right next door to one another in separate buildings. With the way he and Caroline were looking at each other I was glad we didn’t share an apartment.
With them gone, I took Chloe’s hand and walked her up to my apartment. After closing the door behind us, I turned and watched as she looked around.
“Wow— this is really nice.”
I’d bought all of my furniture on a weekend run to Ikea. It was pretty basic, but all brand new, which was nice. “Not what you were expecting?”
“I half expected you to have decorated with the furniture from your grandma’s basement,” she joked.
“Because I kept the Volvo?” I asked as I guided her to the couch. Once she chose a seat I sat on the cushion next to her.
“Totally because of the Volvo,” she laughed.
“You remember that my grandma’s furniture was mauve and cream with heavy emphasis on floral patterns, right?”
She nodded. “I do, but it was also comfortable— and expensive, as I recall.”
“It didn’t go far,” I laughed. “She gave it to Alec for his apartment. It pairs well with his air hockey table and his duel sixty-inch flat-screens so he can keep up with two games at a time.”
Chloe giggle-snorted as she rolled her eyes. “His obsession with sports makes me feel bad about the fact that he can’t work with a ball to save his life. Football, baseball, basketball, heck, even soccer wasn’t for him.”
“It all works out in the end though,” I told her. “He found out last week that he got a job with the Red Sox home office. He won’t be on the field—there isn’t enough liability insurance in the world for that—but he gets to work in a profession he loves. He’s overjoyed.”
“It’s crazy that we’re all adults now,” she said softly. “God willing, soon we’ll all have real jobs with benefits and vacation days. I’ve got two interviews lined up next week and I’m hoping one of them pans out.”
Chloe had earned her education degree with a minor in art education, so I knew she was hoping to get into the local primary school.
“I’ve got my first interview at Bliss Elementary next Wednesday to takeover for the retiring kindergarten teacher. My other interview is on Thursday with Early Intervention Services to be an art therapist.”
“I’m surprised that you sound more excited about the early intervention place than you do about Bliss Elementary.”
A small smile spread across her face. “You’re very observant. After reading the mission statement for EIS, I’ve really felt that’s where I can make the biggest difference. I’d make less at EIS, but I feel drawn to it anyway. I think that’s because I understand all too well how hard it is for children to communicate verbally when they’re overwhelmed.”
As she finished speaking she turned and looked away. I could tell she was nervous by the way she lifted the diamond encrusted gold heart necklace she’d worn since her sixteenth birthday and began moving it side to side on the chain by the bottom of the heart.
The necklace was a reminder of how complicated our relationship had always been. She’d been right earlier when she’d commented on the fact that I’d always saved my money. One of the few things I’d spent real money on as a teen was the necklace. For her, I hadn’t thought twice about taking the short drive to Boston to drop four hundred and fifty dollars on a necklace. My mom tried to tell me I was going overboard, but I couldn’t be talked out of it. I wanted the girl I loved to have something special and since it was my money, I could spend it as I saw fit.
I’d never forgotten the expression of surprise on Chloe’s face the night of her family party when she’d picked up the velvet box and realized my name was on the tag tucked under the white satin bow. She’d thanked me as she always did whenever we exchanged gifts, but she didn't put it on while I was there. I’d worried she’d toss the necklace into her jewelry box and forget about it. Instead, I noticed she wore it to school that Monday. As far as I could tell, she rarely took it off. I had, in fact, not seen her without it on since the first day I realized she was wearing it.
“What’s going through your head right now?”
She slid the heart back and forth on the chain a bit faster as she turned her head to meet my eyes. “I can’t stop thinking about everything Aria said.”
I nodded my understanding. “I get it, since I’ve thought about it at some point every single day since I had that first reading when I was thirteen.”
She winced and looked away. “Thirteen wasn’t a great year for us,” she muttered.
“We had our first kiss that year,” I reminded her.
She was blushing when she looked back at me “I’m surprised you didn’t hate me after that.”
“I wasn’t mad, Chlo. To be honest, I was something more like devastated. I only ever wanted you to care about me the way I cared about you.”
Her lower lip began to tremble as she reached out and took my hand in hers. “I did and I do. I was always just… too scared to show it.”
“What scared you?”
I needed her to confide in me even though I had two reasons for believing I knew the answer. The first was that I’d known Chloe forever, which meant I knew which landmines to steer clear of. The second was that I’d had a long time to think about all the things Aria said to me in my first reading. She pretended she was okay but I knew what hurt Chloe the most in the world was her mother.
“At first I couldn’t let you in because I was so damn jealous of you.”
Aria had said as much years ago, but I’d never allowed myself to believe it because it never made sense to me. Of the two of us, Chloe was the smarter one. Always. I wasn’t an idiot, but she’d gotten scholarships to cover all four years of college, both local and the university. I’d gotten some scholarship money but it damn sure hadn’t been a full ride.
Needing an explanation, I prodded her. “Jealous?”
“Because you had a mom—and not just any mom, either. The depth of Maddie’s love for you is almost tangible. If she needed to, she’d move mountains for you. Looking back, I realize it was dumb to be mad at you simply because you were lucky enough to have a mother who adored you, but sometimes anger isn’t rational. That’s especially true for children. I was just a kid who wanted my mom. The problem was that she didn’t want me. I couldn’t take that anger out on my dad because I was afraid he’d leave me, too. I didn’t know how to deal with what happened, so I channeled all of my confusion on you.”
Knowing that I’d been right didn’t give me a warm fuzzy feeling. My Chloe had been hurt and back then I’d had no way to help her.
“Then, as we got older,” she continued, “I convinced myself that everything you said and did to get my attention was done because you wanted to get back at me for all the times I acted like a stuck-up bitch.”
I’d been trying to tread slowly, but in that moment the need to have a hold on her was so strong I couldn’t ignore it. She sucked in a surprised breath as I lifted her onto my lap, but she didn’t fight it at all. Instead, once I had her situated, she relaxed against me and burrowed her face against the space where my neck met my shoulders. Realizing that she was breathing me in, I wrapped my arms around her and smiled.
“I never thought you were a bitch, Chlo. Mostly I just thought you hated me—at least until Aria got a hold of me.”
“I’ve never hated you, Jackson. I took my jealousy and abandonment issues out on you. I’m so very, very sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize.”
She sat up and cupped either side of my face with her hands as she looked into my eyes. “Yes, I do. I’d owe you an apology no matter what, but now that I know what we are to each other it’s even more important. By being an idiot I made us both miserable. My goal from here on out is to make up for it.”
As she spoke she shifted on my lap. I’d been on the edge of having a full erection all night, but once she was on my lap staring into my eyes, all bets were off. The corners of her mouth turned up as she let out a husky laugh.
“Is that a hammer in your pocket?” she asked cheekily.
As she spoke, she moved her body against me suggestively. Goddamn, I thought, Chloe Holland might actually be the death of me. What a fucking way to go, though.
“Something like that,” I answered huskily.
All thought flew out of my head as she repositioned herself so she was straddling me.
“Remember the last time we kissed?”
My hands settled against the sides of her waist as I nodded. “Of course I remember. In addition to that being the last kiss I had, I’m not likely to forget anything that’s happened with you.”
She stilled, her smile growing wide as she looked at me. “You haven’t, um, done anything else with any other girls?”
I cocked a brow and gave her a wry look. “My heart beats for you, Chlo. No one else has ever gotten so much as a second glance from me.”
Her eyes twinkled as she nibbled at her lower lip. A faint blush spread across her cheeks as she tilted her head. “So… you’re a virgin too?”
Her use of the word too made me smile. I’d been ninety-nine percent sure that was the case, but having it confirmed did not suck.
“Like Aria told you, I’m your devoted. It’s only you for me, baby.”
6
Chloe
Knowing that Jax had waited for me melted my heart. It killed me that I’d once worried he wouldn’t have staying power if something happened between us. It was clear that I’d worried for nothing.
