Forever Love: A Novella Collection, page 19
It’s just glass, and this is nothing more than a parlor trick, I assured myself. A person with the ability to truly see the future would charge a lot more than ten dollars.
Besides, having Madam Aria tell your fortune was something all the kids in town did at the yearly carnival. She’d been around so long that my parents had their fortunes told by her back in junior high. They called it a rite of passage, whatever that meant.
It was meant to be a harmless bit of fun, but something about being seated across the round scarf-covered table from her made me feel weird. I startled when her eyes popped open, and she focused on me with intent concentration, unlike anything I’d ever seen.
“Praise the Goddess! I haven’t come across one of your kind in many years,” she murmured.
I wrinkled my brow with confusion. My kind?
“You are what seers refer to as a devoted. In the world of mysticism it is the most celebrated union.”
I stared at her blankly. Celebrated unions? Maybe the incense I smelled was masking the scent of marijuana.
Aria snorted as if I’d said that aloud. “A devoted exclusively desires one specific soul throughout eternity because that soul belongs to their perfect counterpart,” she explained. “You and your beloved find each other in every lifetime, and no matter what obstacles are put in your way, you have always fallen in love. In some lives, your path to each other has been easier than in others. No matter what, you are always up to the challenge of winning your other half. In this life however, you met her much earlier than in your other incarnations.
“Unfortunately for you that early meeting does not mean your path to love will be quick or easy. Although that soul will always be the yin to your yang, in this life, your beloved has been more stubborn than in previous lives. That’s because her heart was broken by someone she should have been able to rely on. She is a survivor, this girl. For one so young, she’s very headstrong. You will need to be patient and true to capture her heart. She requires special attention and she will not come easy.”
My heart started to beat faster. Aria had to be talking about Chloe Holland. We’d met early. Our fathers had been best friends since my dad moved to Bliss, Massachusetts. They’d met on the first day of third grade and since both had names that began with H their cubbies had been right next to one another. The rest was history. Like our fathers before us, Chloe and I were always in the same classes because of our last names. Unlike our dads, we weren’t best friends—not for lack of trying on my part.
She had been born four months after me and although she’d started out life in the town of Bliss like I had, her family had moved to Brooklyn before her first birthday. Her dad had moved back to town with her when we were three and a half, just two weeks before we started preschool—right after her mother bailed out on her and Uncle Leo.
My parents had told me to make Chloe feel welcome, and I’d done my best, but everything I did backfired. I’d been trying to get on her good side since the very first day I met her but other than stomping her foot and glaring at me, she hardly gave me the time of day. I wanted to think Chloe was the girl Madam Aria was talking about but the way things were going I was starting to believe she was never going to like me. I didn’t know why but the bottom line was that the only girl I cared about couldn’t stand me.
Before I could ask any questions, Aria closed her eyes again and gripped the ball tight. It felt like a dozen years passed before she opened them. Her eyes locked onto mine as she leaned forward and grabbed my right hand with her left.
“I know you’re confused and that sometimes you wish you could stop liking her but that will never happen. It’s very important for you to use your head and make wise choices,” she said forcefully. “Your beloved’s life this time around has caused her to build walls around herself. She feels less than and she’s channeled that into jealousy of you.”
My shoulders slumped as the hope building inside of me was snuffed out because I thought Aria’s words ruled Chloe out. She wasn’t jealous of me and she had no reason to be. While I did okay in school, Chloe killed it. Everyone loved her—my parents, our teachers, and all the kids at school. The one and only person she didn’t get along with was me. If anything, I was jealous of her.
“Because of this,” Madam Aria continued, “you must try different things than in any of your other lives and you will need to be patient. I can see an alternate version of your future in the ball that isn’t what it should be. In that future, you would both be unsettled and unhappy because you are meant to connect in every lifetime. Neither of your souls can thrive without that connection. Without it, the lessons you’re meant to learn in this lifetime would be lost, which would set off a cycle of discord between you that will continue over many lives. Do you understand?”
I understood nothing but nodded anyway. Okay, I thought, she’s just pulling your leg. Smile, say thank you, and leave the tent. Go back to the carnival, have some funnel cake, and ride the tilt-a-whirl a few more times.
“Thanks, Madam Aria.” As I spoke, I stood and pushed in my chair.
She grinned up at me as though she knew something I didn’t. I was just at the exit of the tent when something happened that changed everything.
“By now you’ve noticed that no other girl has ever caught your eye. There’s a reason for that. Your heart and soul has always known who it belongs to. In order to win Chloe, you’ll need to be strong and believe with your whole heart, ” Madam Aria called from behind me.
My eyes widened in surprise as I spun to face her. I was stunned to find that she had gotten up from her table and was just a few feet behind me.
“Ah, yes,” she crowed, a good amount of satisfaction in her tone. “Now I’ve got you thinking.”
Hell yes, she did.
“I, uh… how do you know her name is Chloe?”
Aria grinned like a Cheshire cat. “I saw her in my ball. I know you think she doesn’t like you, but that isn’t the case. It will be many years before you understand that. You have her heart—always—but you haven’t earned her trust yet. That’s what you must focus on. Show her that you’ll always be there. If you do not succeed, your soul will never be fulfilled and you will repeat this pattern for many lives to come. All things are connected. You will be rejected many times, but if you stick with it, I promise it will be worth it. Good luck.”
Then, as if nothing weird had happened at all, she waved her hand dismissively, turned, and walked back to her table.
* * *
Chloe
Age 19
The way Madam Aria looked at me made me feel itchy and uncomfortable. Unlike most kids in town I’d only ever had one reading from her. It was supposed to be fun, a little bit of fluff. I’d been fifteen and fixated on the idea of my mother coming back into my life—something that I’d hoped and prayed for every single day since she packed up and left.
The note she’d left had explained in a very cut-and-dry way that being married, and having a child, wasn’t what she wanted. Fame and fortune was. Of course I only found out about the note later. At three, I hadn’t been the sharpest knife in the drawer. The fuzzy memories I had indicated that my father hadn’t been surprised by her defection because there had been signs from the beginning.
They’d met in college, him for business, her for theater. She’d been certain she’d be the most famous actress of her time, but when that didn’t happen right away, she decided to get married—and fifteen months later, I was born. She’d played that part for a hot minute before deciding that stardom was still her destiny. In an effort to save the marriage, Dad uprooted everything to move from Bliss to Brooklyn so that my mother could land a “breakout role” on Broadway. She’d been adamant that it was only a matter of time.
It hadn’t been, and she’d blamed the lack of roles on the fact that she’d been married with a child. I think by the time she left, my dad was happy to see the back end of her, and looking back, I can’t blame him.
It wasn’t like that for me, though. I wanted a mom. What I got was a have a nice life, I’ll send presents when I’m famous letter that I hadn’t even read until a few years after the event.
She hadn’t been in contact at any point after she left, nor had she gotten famous. The reality I refused to accept was that she was one of the most spectacularly selfish people on earth. I’d held onto hope for her return in the way that only someone with faith could. At least I had, until Madam Aria looked at me over her swirling purple crystal ball.
“She’s not coming back. I know that hurts you as nothing else can right now, but the truth is that it’s for the best. The woman you’ve built up in your mind is a fantasy, my dear. In reality your mother is selfish and cruel—and not the influence you need in your life.”
I’d shaken my head emphatically. That wasn’t true at all! My mom was funny and kind. She danced while she cooked and sang silly country songs a little too loud when she was cleaning. I didn’t understand why she’d left me but I believed that someday she would come back and when she did we’d cook and clean and sing those silly songs together. I just knew it.
Aria shook her head as if she’d heard my thoughts. “Your memories of your mother are not accurate. You have replaced the bad of her with the good memories created with someone else. The woman who does all of the things that have made you feel safe and loved will always be there for you. Your mother has nothing in common with her and deep down you know this. It’s why you’re so jealous of this woman’s son.”
I sucked in a breath and sat back in shock. It was like pulling the curtain back in Oz and seeing the man behind the bluster. Aria was talking about Jackson’s mother, the woman I called Aunt Madeline. For the first time, all of the pieces came together. I’d always been jealous that Jackson had a mom who doted on him.
I remembered the first day of preschool, when I’d been the only one of the kids being dropped off by a daddy instead of a mommy. Dad had been excited for me to start school with his best friend’s son, so when he saw Madeline hanging Jackson’s bag in his cubby he’d made a beeline for her.
I’d smiled shyly at the boy with the soft-looking light brown hair and mischievous grin as our parents introduced us. He walked away and said something to another child as his mother hugged me and told me how pretty I looked in my favorite yellow dress. I leaned into her and soaked up her attention like a sponge. She giggled and pulled a small hairbrush out of her purse after I asked her if she knew how to do good pigtails. Daddy had trouble getting them even but Madeline did it in no time. I beamed up at her and thought about how she was prettier than the lady in the movie I loved so much, Mary Poppins. The only thing I didn’t like about that movie was the end, but I had Daddy trained to turn it off before Mary went up with her umbrella.
When Daddy thanked her for fixing my hair, Madeline waved him off. “Are you kidding? You know I’m delighted to have a little girl to dote on.”
My heart felt like it would beat out of my chest with excitement. She wanted a little girl and I wanted a mommy. A real mommy who would do my hair and play with me instead of a mom who left. She’d been mean and hadn’t ever wanted to play with me, but I just knew Madeline would want to spend tons of time together. Maybe it was possible to swap one mommy out for another.
My little fantasy bubble burst when Jackson came back and wrapped his arms around Madeline’s neck. “Mommy, did you remember to pack me a cinnamon bun?”
She grinned as she turned and kissed his cheek. “Does Mommy ever forget to pack the cinnamon bun monster his favorite treat?”
He giggled and smiled up at her like she was an angel. “Nope. You’re the best mommy in the whole world. I’m glad you’re mine and nobody else’s.”
“Always and forever,” Madeline answered before she kissed his cheek again.
My smile fell as I watched them together, mother and child. That quickly, my good mood dissolved. After our parents left Jackson tried to make me smile, but I wanted no part of him. He’d ruined my fantasy, and because of that I promised myself I’d never be his friend.
A feeling of mortification worked its way through me as I realized that I’d spent years yearning for a mother that had never existed. All of the good things I’d believed were memories of her were really of Madeline. How had I let my need for a mother affect my outlook in such a major way? What was wrong with me?
I’d left that reading a mess and had avoided Aria ever since.
I startled from the memory when I felt a hand on my arm. I sucked in a breath when I realized Madam Aria was standing in front of me.
“I’ve got a message for you,” she announced in the matter-of-fact way she had. Her voice was soft and feminine but there was an unmistakable strength to it. I thought of her as a female Dumbledore.
I cocked my head to the right and wrinkled my nose. “From whom?”
“From the universe.”
The way she said it made goose bumps break out across my skin. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
“I know you’re trying to decide what university to go to now that you’ve earned your associate’s degree from the community college. It’s very important that you choose one of the options that isn’t close by.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Why?”
I’d been accepted by four of the five universities I’d applied to. Three were out of state, but I’d basically already decided to choose the one closest to home, in Boston. I told myself the only drawback was that Jackson was there working on his communications degree. Even though he drove me nuts with his antics, I always chose to do whatever kept him in my orbit. I wasn’t sure what that said about me. Glutton for punishment, probably.
“You need to expand your horizons and mature,” Aria announced. “Time and again you’ve resisted the signs the universe has placed in your path—so it has sent me to say it directly. No more games, Chloe. Leave and don’t look back until you graduate. By then you’ll have obtained enough clarity for change to occur.”
“Change?”
As we spoke, I felt Jackson’s presence. Looking up, I watched as he walked past one of the tents with his friend Alec. As usual, Jax lifted his head and looked at me as if he’d known exactly where I was the entire time. His steps faltered and his eyes widened with surprise when he saw who I was talking to. Great, I thought, he’s probably going to start a rumor that I’ve been dabbling in mysticism.
I narrowed my eyes and gave him a look that said screw you. Something that looked like disappointment or frustration flitted across his face before he lifted his chin in acknowledgement and started walking again. I watched until he was out of sight, hating that I immediately felt like something important was missing when he wasn’t close by.
“Change,” Aria said.
I shook my head to clear it of the Jackson fog I was so used to before I returned my attention to Madam Aria.
“Trust me on this,” she commanded. “If you don’t take this fork in the road, you’ll not have the chance to get where you’re supposed to until the next life. Your soul needs you to get your shit together, Chloe. What you’re missing is quite literally right in front of you. Once you accept this you will know a kind of peace that most people never do. The missing piece is right there, but until you learn to let go of the thing holding you back, you’ll never be content.”
It felt like something had just walked across my grave. I’d always known something was missing—someone or something that had nothing to do with my mother—but hearing someone else say it was chilling.
“Trust me on this—nothing is more important than you centering yourself. The only way to do that is to put distance between you and the town of Bliss. Visit as little as possible and I promise you that when you come back, everything will finally fall into place. But be warned—if you don’t make this change, your life will never be what your soul needs it to be,” she said forcefully.
I couldn’t imagine leaving town for any reason. Something tethered to me Bliss—something bigger than just the fact that I’d grown up there.
“Jackson will be here waiting when you return,” she said sagely.
My knee-jerk response was to write off everything she had said, but my inner voice was surprisingly loud and insistent about forcing me not to.
No one was more surprised than I was when I went ahead and chose the out-of-state college.
* * *
Jackson
Age 19
“Just a little longer now. When she comes back, you’ll have your shot.”
I jerked in surprise at the sound of Aria’s voice behind me. Turning, I frowned.
“When she comes back?” I asked, confused.
“Your Chloe needs time away from this town. Soon, she’ll announce that she’s going to leave for the next two years while she earns her bachelor’s degree.”
The idea of Chloe leaving left a sensation of a hand squeezing my heart inside my chest. It was so uncomfortable I was staggered by it.
Madam Aria patted my shoulder sympathetically as she shook her head. “This is a temporary pain, Jackson. Just remember that fortune smiles on those who remain focused and true. Once Chloe is back, things will be different. The pain of not seeing her will be rewarded tenfold in the long run.”
As much as I knew it would hurt me, I was still more worried about Chloe. She was attached to Bliss in much the same way I was. It was our home, and we loved it. I couldn’t imagine either of us living anywhere else.
“Will she be okay?” I asked.
