I smile. “I can tell you now, it won’t be any of them over there.” With my cup, I gesture to the group wiping their noses and taking in deep breaths.

  “I’m Kara,” she says.

  “Zack.”

  “You an Omega boy?”

  “I’m more of an alpha.”

  She snorts and rolls her eyes. “Jesus, you’re fucking lame for that one, you know that, right?”

  I can’t help but laugh with her. “It was pretty ass, I’ll admit.”

  “Good.” She flicks her head to one side, moving her hair out of her face, and looks up at me. When I meet her gaze, she doesn’t look away. “Nah. You’re too hot to be an Omega boy. Probably Kappa, if anything.”

  “Nope. I’m not in a fraternity.”

  “Oh, thank god,” she says, putting a hand on her heart. “I thought I was going to have to admit that I found one of these douches attractive.”

  “It’s your lucky night.”

  “Not yet, it isn’t,” she replies. She takes a long drink from her cup, finishing it off, then tosses it onto the counter. She steps forward, closing the gap of space between us.

  I have to admit, I’m kind of into her forwardness. Most girls here would wait for me to the make the first move or pretend like the thought of us together never crossed their minds. Kara, though? She knows what she wants, and she’s going after it. Without letting too much silence hang in the air, I pull her close, a hand on her hip, and look down in her eyes.

  “You just gonna stare?” she challenges.

  I start to say something sarcastic but stop. Instead, I lean in and kiss her, tasting the booze on her warm tongue. She’s a dominant kisser as well, working her lips against mine with skill. Her hands slide up my sides. She drags them up until they’re tangled in my hair. Maybe it’s the booze, or maybe it’s how aggressive she is, but I feel myself getting hard.

  Then I hear Logan’s scream.

  I know it specifically. I’ve heard that scream for years. Every time there’s a spider, or something scary in a movie she’s watching. My mind snaps out of the hazy, hormone-driven fog, and I excuse myself, hurrying into the living room.

  She stands with her arms up, a drink spilled down the front of her chest. Some idiot is apologizing over and over again, and I make a move for him when Chris shoves him away. He grabs a handful of napkins and begins dabbing at the stain.

  “Are you okay?” I ask.

  She glances at me, her cheeks a bright shade of pink. “I’m fine.” When I start to help Chris, she says, “He’s got it.”

  Chris looks at me like I’m some kind of third wheel, and Logan’s gaze has turned into a glare. I don’t know why, but the two of them wanting me to leave feels like a kick to the balls and a slap in the face at the same time. Swallowing down my pride, I return to the kitchen to be with Kara, only, it doesn’t feel the same.

  I can’t stop thinking about Chris and Logan. Right now, they’re probably off doing exactly what Kara and I are. It shouldn’t piss me off, but the thought of him touching her like this makes me shift from foot to foot, adrenaline running through me. I want to punch him for even thinking of doing that to Logan, and I’m not too happy at the idea of her encouraging something like this, either. It’s a fucked up double standard, but I can’t let it go. I don’t know why either.

  “Look, if you’re not into this,” Kara says, breaking our kiss. “I can go find someone else.”

  “It’s not you, it’s just—”

  “Gross, not that old line. You have fun, okay? Maybe we’ll run into each other again.” Without another word, Kara grabs a bottle of vodka from the island in the kitchen and disappears somewhere into the house.

  Fuck.

  I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I should’ve never come to this party in the first place. Not with work so early tomorrow morning. Kicking myself, I grab a bottle as well and make my way outside. I don’t see Logan, Chris, or her friend as I leave, and I don’t know whether that’s a good sign or not.

  The walk home only takes about twenty minutes, mostly because I keep stopping to drink, and when I finally step into my apartment, I nearly crash there on the sofa. I just need tonight to be over. Not only did Logan blow me off, but now I have blue balls. Maybe I should start going to parties that don’t let freshmen in. That would solve a world of problems.

  I strip off my clothes and flop face down in bed, my head spinning. I’m going to have a killer hangover at work tomorrow but fuck it. Downing so much booze at once makes the sting of Logan and Chris hooking up disappear from my mind just a little quicker, so I like it.

  Two minutes later, I pass out.

  3

  Logan

  A ll of my teachers from high school are liars. Before I got to Jefferson University, I thought I’d be walking into a campus full of dictators and apathetic bullies, but all of my professors so far have been sweet as apple pie. The first day of my senior year was harder than my first day of all my classes here, and after two weeks, I’m wondering what the hell my teachers were worried about.

  Just last week my professor cancelled class because she didn’t get enough sleep thanks to the book she was reading, and before that, my comp professor had a potluck to welcome us all to his class. So far, this has all been a walk in the park.

  My phone buzzes, and I close my laptop and put aside my humanities textbook to grab it from the nightstand. It’s another text from Chris.

  “That your boyfriend?” Julie asks, glancing at me from across the room.

  My cheeks burn when I say, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

  “Yet. But soon he’ll ask you out and you’ll say yes,” she grins. “What’s he want now?”

  I quickly read over the text before I say, “He just sent me a bunch of pictures of puppies. He knows they’re my favorite.”

  Julie makes a fake gagging noise. “You two, I swear.”

  “Hey, don’t be mad because you’re jealous!”

  Julie puts a bookmark in her library book and sits up straight. “Um, obviously I’m jealous. The only guy that’s even remotely made a pass at me was that creepy guy at Subway. And I’m so desperate, I almost agreed to let him have my phone number.”

  I laugh and make a face. He wasn’t even cute enough to make up for his sketchiness. “Have you tried any of those apps?”

  “What do you think I do on my phone all day? I swipe left.” She reaches for her phone and unlocks it, probably going to see if she has any new matches. “This is college, Logan. I’m supposed to be a slut! Why isn’t anyone trying to be a slut with me?”

  “Maybe they just can’t handle you,” I offer.

  She shoots me a dirty look, and I look away to keep from laughing in her face. Letting out a huff, she puts her phone down on the bed beside her. “Hey, what about Zack?”

  My stomach twists. “What about Zack?”

  “You think he’d be into me? I mean, he did kinda give me that look whenever we met on moving day. Do you think he’d turn me down if I asked?”

  Julie is beautiful, and I know Zack. He doesn’t have a type outside of beautiful. He goes for all girls, even when we were younger, so I’m sure he’d say yes to going out with Julie. It’s just… I don’t know. The thought of that makes me uncomfortable. Not only do I not want my only friend in school dating my older brother, but the idea of him being with her…

  I’m not jealous.

  I can’t be jealous. That’s weird as hell. I just don’t know the right words to describe it. All I know is, the last person I’d ever try and hook Julie up with is my annoying, overprotective stepbrother. Especially after the stunt he pulled at the Omega Nu party a few weeks ago.

  Am I really supposed to believe he showed up there randomly and wasn’t there just to breathe down my neck? When we were kids, that’s all he’d do. I could never have any fun because he’d always try and parent me, always try and solve all my problems. It was annoying then, and it’s annoying now.

  And with Chris in the picture, I shouldn’t even be focusing on Zack. I should be enjoying my time, flirting and having fun—while also keeping my eyes on the prize: a degree. None of this matters if I don’t graduate and do well in school. I’ve had to remind myself of that the past few weeks. Dad always told me not to get distracted when I went to school.

  “I…” I struggle to find the right words. “You know, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I know how Zack is. He’s an asshole to girls. Plus, I’m pretty sure he’s already talking to someone else. Remember that girl Kara? I saw them together at the party.”

  In fact, she’s the reason that I gave him the cold shoulder after some random drunk guy spilled his drink on me. Seeing them make out in the middle of the kitchen like that pissed me off, and I reacted like a child, giving him dirty looks and silently telling him to go away. Not my proudest moment, I have to admit.

  “Damn,” Julie says, her shoulders deflating. “I’m just gonna have to go to more parties and try to meet guys the normal way.”

  “Your life is so hard,” I tease her. She flips me the middle finger, then turns back to her phone. When I look down at my own, there’s another text from Chris, asking if I want to go to the lake with him and some of his friends.

  My stomach flutters at the thought. He’s not my boyfriend, I know, but we’ve been talking about everything, from what we want to do in life to where we see ourselves in ten years, and I might be developing a bit of a crush.

  I text him back to let him know that I would love that, then jump up and hurry to take a shower and wash my hair. I change into a pair of shorts and my favorite tank top, then sit down to blow dry my hair. While I do, I tell Julie about where I’m going. She seems jealous, and I almost consider inviting her, but I think this might be a date, and I don’t want to make her feel like a third wheel or anything.

  An hour later, Chris pulls up with some of his friends. I climb into the back of his friend’s car and sit next to him. “You look great,” he says, draping his arm over my shoulder.

  Again, my stomach does a little flip at the motion. I lean against him and say, “You look even better.” He’s got on a pair of cargo shorts and a simple t-shirt, but even still he makes it look like it’s fresh off the racks at some high-end store. I then notice that his hair is a little shorter. “You got a haircut!”

  “What do you think?” he asks, turning side to side so I can get a better look.

  “You’re adorable.”

  “No, you,” he replies. He leans in for a slow kiss, and up front, I hear his friend driving make a retching noise.

  “Get a room,” he says.

  The ride to the lake is filled with more of this. Chris being all cute and sweet, and his buddies, Nick and Devon, pretend like we’re doing the worst things to each other in the back of the car. For a second, I’m worried about being the only girl there, but then we pull up to the boat that Nick’s dad owns and I see that there are about six other people there, half of them being girls. My anxiety settles down a little, and we hurry out to meet up with them.

  Chris takes his time introducing me to all of his friends. A lot of them seem really sweet, but I’m terrible with names, so I know that I’ll probably forget most of them. I should’ve invited Julie. All the guys here are single, and I’m sure they’d love her. Devon seems exactly like her type. A smartass but still kind at the same time.

  When we get on the water, Chris and I head out to the front of the boat. At the same time, we turn to each other and make a Titanic reference. We laugh together while we do the pose that the two main characters did. After, he pulls me into his arms and kisses me slow again.

  As the sun goes down, he appears by my side with a bottle of beer. It’s not my favorite drink in the world, but I don’t want to be difficult or complain, so I take a seat with him and drink as much as I can. All around us, people are chatting, taking selfies, and having a blast.

  Two of Chris’s friends have even brought out that old game Trouble and are popping away while they eat grilled hotdogs. It’s a weird feeling, being here with all of these people. In high school, I never got invited to anything. I spent most of my time with my head in a book, reading everything I could get my hands on. I played video games on the old console that Zack left when he went to college. I did anything but go out and socialize with people my age.

  But it’s nice. I’m glad that I didn’t turn down this invitation, and I’m glad that I went with Julie. It’s only the beginning of the year, but something tells me that with this crowd, I’ll have plenty of memories.

  Chris’s hand on my hip moves over my thigh, and I glance down at it, smiling. “What are you doing?” I ask quietly.

  “Nothing,” he says. His hand moves again, this time towards my inner thigh. With two fingers, he presses against the front of my shorts, and I take in a sharp breath.

  “Chris.”

  “What?” he grins. He presses again, this time with more pressure.

  My stomach sinks, and I pull away from him, crossing my legs. That smile on his face disappears and he puts down his beer. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he says. “I thought you might’ve been into that.”

  “Why would I be into that?” I ask, trying to keep my voice down. I don’t want to make things awkward by making a huge scene.

  “I—I don’t know,” he says, swallowing hard. “I won’t do it again. I’m sorry, Logan.”

  I should tell him off for assuming I’d be ready for that kind of thing. I haven’t even lost my virginity and he thought that what? That he’d finger me in front of all of his friends? Maybe he was drunk. Maybe the beer went straight to his head. It’s possible.

  Maybe you’re making excuses for him, a voice in the back of my head says.

  I try to go back to the party, but all I can think about is how uncomfortable that was. I really do like Chris, but that wasn’t right. It didn’t feel right. The night goes on for what feels like forever, and I slip away to make a call.

  “Hello?” Zack sounds tired, like he was sleeping.

  “Sorry, did I wake you up?”

  “What? Nah. What’s up?”

  “Do you think you can pick me up from the lake? I’m here with some friends, but I… I just need you to come pick me up.”

  His voice sounds more concerned. “Yeah, is everything alright?”

  I want to tell him everything, but I can’t. The words won’t come out. “I’m just not really feeling it.”

  “Okay. Yeah, okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  “Thank you, Zack.” I hang up the phone and take a deep breath. We’ll be heading back to shore in thirty minutes, and that seems like plenty of time for Zack to head over here and pick me up.

  I can make it until then.

  4

  Zack

  L ogan is uncomfortably quiet on the way back to her dorm. She leans against the window, forehead pressed to the glass, with her arms folded over her chest. It’s the perfect “Leave me the fuck alone” position. So, naturally, I have to bother her.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask. “Did Chris do something stupid?”

  She doesn’t say anything for a long time. She just sits there, watching as the streetlights go by outside. “It’s nothing.”

  “It’s not nothing, Logan,” I insist. “Talk to me.”

  She turns to look at me, and my eyes fall to the tiny freckles dotting her nose and cheeks. George, her dad, had the same freckles too. “Can we just…not do this right now, Zack? Please?”

  The look on her face tells me she’s serious. I want to know, but maybe right now isn’t the time for all the questions. Rather than fighting with her, I let her go back to moping, reaching forward and turning on the radio. I settle on something from the ‘80s. Some song my mom would’ve loved when she was younger.

  I try not to let my curiosity bother me. She’s unhappy for some reason, but clearly she doesn’t want to talk to me about it. That stings, but I guess I understand. I wouldn’t come to her about any of my problems, either.

  Figuring I’ll do something nice for her, I decide to hit up the DQ by my apartment. That pouty look on her face goes away the second I hand her a vanilla cone. Just like when we were kids, the ice cream lifts her spirits almost immediately. Old, dependable vanilla. What would I do without it?

  “Where are we going?” she asks in between licks of her cone.

  “My apartment.”

  “Why?”

  I point to the clock. “You’re past curfew, and it’s hard as hell to sneak back into the dorms this late. It’s better if you just crash at my place instead of getting written up for being out so late.”

  She frowns. “Stephanie wasn’t even this strict.”

  “That’s college for you, kid,” I smirk. “They say you’re an adult but find a ton of ways to still treat you like a child.”

  I remember all the times me and my buddies had to sleep outside rather than getting written up by our RA. That asshole was sadistic as one human man could be, and he took way too much pleasure in writing citations for everyone he was put in charge of. Because of that, I still don’t feel bad for slashing his tires one night when we were all wasted out of our minds.

  I park in my usual spot and hop out, waiting for Logan to climb out before I lock my car. We head through the complex, and when I twist the lock to my front door and open it, Logan pretends to smell something awful.

  “Disgusting,” she groans, covering her mouth dramatically.

  “Fuck off,” I laugh, giving her a light shove through the door.

  My place isn’t exactly messy, but it’s far from anything worth writing home about. There are shoes all over the place, some laundry on the couch that I haven’t gotten around to folding, and gaming controllers on top of magazines on the coffee table. In the kitchen, a few dishes are in the sink, and my dining table is covered with school books and mail that I haven’t flipped through yet.

  “This place is a nightmare,” Logan says, turning her nose up at me. She takes a seat on the sofa, nudging away a pair of my boxer briefs.

 

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