Sir Callie and the Dragon's Roost, page 25
“I want that for you too, El! Don’t you get it?” I hate that I’m nearly crying, because I’m not sad. I’m not even angry! I just need her to listen! “I want what you want! I want to make them pay. I want to protect you and Edwyn and Willow, and I want us to stay together! Because that’s why we’re here, isn’t it? That’s why we’re doing all this. To stay together!”
Elowen freezes, almost midstep. If it wasn’t for the sway of her long tunic, I might think a spell had been cast on her. Then, softly, “I love you, but I have to do this and I need you to understand. I need you to be on my side.”
I nearly trip forward with relief. “That’s all I want—”
“Then let me go.”
As much as it’s presented as an ask, I know that it isn’t. It’s a statement. An ultimatum. If I let her go, I stand a chance of getting her back. If I keep pulling her back, I know I will lose her.
I wipe my nose on my sleeve. It doesn’t help. The snot keeps flowing.
“I’m scared for you.”
“You needn’t be.” Her voice is soft and close; her fingers gently coax my hands away from my face. Her own is fierce and certain, and I smile through my tears despite it all. “I am stronger than even you know, Sir Callie.”
I try to say I know, but the words stop just short of my lips.
The tip of her nose is cold against mine.
I didn’t know her eyelashes were that long.
I didn’t know there were so many different colors in her eyes.
If we stayed like this for a thousand years, it wouldn’t be enough time to count them all.
When we finally part, the air is cold.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
It takes an age to drag myself back up to the tree house. I don’t know how I’m gonna explain to Edwyn and Willow that Elowen’s gone. She’s picked her side and she left us behind. We have so much to talk about and decide, and I don’t know how to do that without her. Elowen is the steady, sensible voice in the swirling sea of our chaos. We need her.
I need her.
I grip the smooth wooden door handle, take a deep breath, and step inside.
The stillness is shattered.
“Are you sure?” Willow is asking, his voice high-pitched and scared. “How can you be certain? Maybe…maybe it’s a mistake. Maybe she gave it to him accidentally. I’m sure that’s it. I’m sure—” He catches sight of me in the doorway and rushes to me. His eyes are blown huge and his hands are desperate when he grabs me and pulls me over to Sulio.
“When Alis gave you the potion for Edwyn, what did she say? Where did she get it? She probably picked the wrong one, right? She probably has so many, she just picked up…the wrong one. Right?”
“Why?” I ask. “Is there something wrong with the potion? She said it would calm Edwyn’s mind. To help with all the bad memories that have just come back.”
“It certainly will do that,” says Sulio grimly.
“What is it?” Teo asks from the sofa. Xe is perched on the back like a bird behind Edwyn; both are twisted around toward Sulio.
Inis takes the tiny bottle, unstoppers it, and sniffs.
Her whole face puckers. She passes it back, shaking her head hard. “This won’t just help you manage your new memories; this will strip them down so bare you won’t be able to tell if they’re real or not. This is potent stuff. More likely to strip your mind down to a clean slate than help you manage what you have.”
“I—I don’t understand,” Edwyn whispers. “Why would she give that to me? It must be a mistake.”
“It was no mistake,” says Kensa from the doorway. The dragon’s face is filled with smoldering rage, barely contained. Xe storms in, snatches the vial from Sulio, and crushes it like a beetle, the glittering glass and shimmering potion oozing between xir clawed fingers. When Kensa raises xir face, xir eyes are furnaces. “There is nothing in this world so dangerous as truth. The price is too high, the consequence too steep. Gold and glory are cheap in comparison. You’re leaving. I’m getting you out of here. Come.”
“Wait, what?”
The dragon stares at me. “What do you not understand? I swore an oath to you, little knight; this is me keeping it. I can get you as far as the Estebrel border, and from there you can head north. Do not cross back into Wyndebrel.” Xe looks around, taking attendance. “Where is the sorcerer?”
My stomach drops, and I cringe when all eyes turn on me. “El…she…she’s gone to Alis. She wants to fight for Dumoor, and I couldn’t stop her. I tried, I swear, but she has a right to her own choices…. It didn’t feel correct, but it didn’t feel wrong either. I—I didn’t know—”
“We have to go after her!” says Edwyn. “We have to stop her before she—” He pales when Kensa shakes xir head.
“If your sister has already made her choice, there is nothing we can do. She is on her own path now.”
“No! That’s not right, that’s not true!” Edwyn insists. “We can stop her! We can make her listen!”
“Kensa’s right,” says Willow softly. “It’s not our place to force El onto a different path. But we can help her, can’t we? We can look out for her and support her?”
Kensa glances uneasily between us. “This is not a safe place for you.”
“We are not leaving Elowen on her own,” I say, and the others nod. “Whatever’s going on, we can survive it. I don’t know what Alis’s deal is, but we know the truth and maybe that’s enough. We don’t need her to help us. We don’t need her permission and we don’t need to play her games.” I take a deep breath and meet Kensa’s eyes. “Truth is powerful and precious, and you owe me a favor. So this is what I’m asking for. Tell us the truth. Tell us everything.”
The dragon recoils, xir hand touching xir side. “I cannot, little knight.”
I stand my ground. “Why not?”
“Because I am afraid.”
“That is not an excuse!” I bellow. “Why is your fear more important than ours? You said you wanted to help, so help! Or are you just like every other grown-up who tells us pretty things to hold us in line and never keeps their promises? Oaths are binding in Dumoor, or is that a lie too?”
“I am not afraid for myself,” says Kensa softly. “I have flown these skies for longer than you can comprehend. I have watched kingdoms rise and fall. I have watched the world change more times than I can remember. I am immortal. My choices are my own, and I claim my mistakes.”
“Then what?”
Kensa’s gaze flicks to Teo. “It is not my life that would be forfeit, should I break my oath.”
All heads turn to Teo. Xe squirms, ears drooping beneath the weight of the attention. “Me?”
“You,” says Kensa. “Once upon a time, I believed I could make this land a home for our kind. I was foolish. I let my hope overcome my sense, and I failed to understand the extent of humans’ capacity for cruelty when they are afraid.” Xe looks at me. “You ask, why is my fear more important than yours? I ask you the same in return. Why does your fear excuse the destruction and violence committed against my kind? I watched my people hunted and killed in the name of valor. I watched them flee gleeful blades. I watched them disappear, hiding behind disguises that would protect them. Young dragons learn quickly to conceal themselves, if they’re lucky to grow old enough to understand and to be born to those willing to love them. They learn that love and safety are conditional. Fragile. Dependent on lies. That is the choice we all must make.
“When I met Alis, I believed that Dumoor could finally be the haven I had dreamed of. A place for the vilified, where they could be themselves without condition or fear. We welcomed all, and I waited for my kind to find their way home. I knew it would be a long wait, after centuries of persecution, with the instinct to hide so deeply ingrained that it’s near impossible to break through.
“And then a boy arrived in the forest. Angry, alone. I knew at once what he was, though he had no idea. He thought he was cursed, the desperation to hide his magic manifesting in something monstrous. I tried to teach him, to explain that he needn’t be afraid of who he was. A dragon is a powerful, beautiful thing. But he had spent too long among men. He couldn’t accept himself, and I pushed too hard. I pushed him away, and he fled. It was years before Teo came to us. Younger, barely in the first stages of metamorphosis, but excited. Teo is everything I wished we could all be. Loving our form and our magic, and understanding how much the world could open up to us if only we had the courage to be ourselves.”
Kensa pauses, xir face soft and fond, but sad, too, as xir gaze rests on Teo.
“And then Dumoor changed. It was my fault, my error in judgment. I knew the moment he appeared in the forest that everything would change. But by the rules I had created myself, everyone who finds their way to Dumoor gets a chance.” Kensa gives a bitter hiss. “I should’ve made an exception. Within days, the very air had shifted. I don’t think anyone else noticed. She kept him hidden at Pioden, fully aware of the panic his presence would cause if word got out. No one was allowed inside and she rarely left. Only I was permitted to come and go as I pleased, bound by my oath of confidentiality.
“I trusted her. We had been equal partners from the beginning, our values and mission identical. When she told me to put aside my misgivings and have faith, I did so. Against everything my heart told me, I did so.
“And then she started sending me away, on missions that took me from Dumoor for days at a time. When I started to argue, the requests turned to orders. She didn’t look at me like an equal anymore. She looked at me like a beast. A creature to be controlled. And I knew she would do the same to Teo as soon as she could. I kept xem away from Pioden as long as I could, but Alis was impatient to have another dragon under her command, and Teo was eager to pay xir way.
“She waited until I was gone to summon Teo and present the offer of xir first mission like a grand privilege. By the time I returned, it was too late. The deal was done. And they made it perfectly clear that this was my punishment for disagreement. If I was good and obedient, Teo would survive. If I fought, xe would die.”
“How?” My voice is a rasp. “It’s not like they had any control over the Helston side. How could they dictate the outcome like that?”
“Because they did have control of the Helston side.”
“What d’you—”
Then my blood runs cold.
A man who found his way to Dumoor a few months ago, who could twist something that had started so good into something so bad.
I don’t need Kensa to tell me his name.
“Peran’s here, isn’t he?”
In Pioden.
With Elowen.
The dragon bows xir head. “Yes, little knight.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
“I don’t get it,” I whisper. “I don’t understand.”
It doesn’t make sense! Except it does. In the wrongest, most twisted way, it almost feels inevitable. I push my fingers through my hair and pull until my scalp burns.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t think.
And Elowen—
“Lord Peran hates magic,” I hear Willow whisper. “Why would he come here? And why would Alis let him? Everything she said…She knows who he is and what he’s done. He is everything she is against. Maybe…maybe she didn’t know. Not entirely. Maybe she didn’t know about Jowan, and now that she does—”
“It doesn’t make a difference.” Edwyn’s voice is as cool and still as Alis’s pool. “She was there the whole time. She saw what we saw, heard what we heard. If she didn’t know before, she does now.” He swallows hard and looks to Kensa. “That’s why she tried to keep me there, isn’t it? And why she gave me that potion when I wouldn’t stay. She wanted to…silence me, didn’t she?”
Kensa doesn’t need to nod to confirm what we all already know.
“I still don’t get it,” I growl. “They are on opposite ends of the line. How can they work together when each of them is what the other hates the most?”
It is Willow who answers. “Because there is one person they both hate more than each other.”
“Which is who?”
“Mother.”
Of course.
They were both banished, both humiliated, both betrayed by Queen Ewella. The reasons may be different, but the result is the same.
“Is that it?” I ask Kensa. “They’re working together to get revenge on Her Majesty?”
“Justice takes many forms,” the dragon replies. “The justice we once sought for the wronged used to be a force for good. Revolutionary kindness. Our friend brought something new to lay as an offering at Alis’s feet. Something irresistible.”
“Revenge.”
“Revenge.”
All I can think of is Elowen.
“We have to go back to Helston,” says Willow. “We have to tell them. Warn them.”
“And why would they listen?” Edwyn demands. “Who would believe us? We’re criminals. They’ll arrest us the moment they see us. Even if we make it far enough for an audience with Her Majesty…” He swallows hard and glares at the ground. “Father and Adan were right. No one would ever believe us.”
“Papa would. Neal would. If we can get to them first, we stand a chance.” I don’t think about how slim that chance is. I don’t think about what will surely happen if we fail, or how many obstacles we will have to successfully navigate just for the opportunity to be heard. None of that matters. “We have to try. If we can convince Her Majesty to keep Helston from attacking, that’ll buy us time to convince Alis that Peran is poison. We can do that, right?” I ask Kensa. “You said yourself that it didn’t start off like this. There’s a chance that she can change?”
The dragon nods slowly. “I believe there is still hope, though the window of possibility is closing.”
“All the more reason to act quickly.”
Though mostly I want to go before we lose our courage.
“And how will you prove it?” Edwyn asks. “It isn’t enough to just tell. They will take every chance to discount you. We need proof. Real proof. Does that even exist?”
I suck my lip, desperately trying to think of something—anything. To my mind, the proof is right here, in us. But Edwyn’s right. The word of a few kids is not enough.
“Is there anything?” I ask Kensa. “Anything at all we can take with us?”
“Alis is careful,” Kensa replies slowly. “Every deal is made with magic. Untraceable and intangible. Our friend is not so cautious.”
“Father never discards anything,” Edwyn adds. His hands twist fretfully together before him, but there’s a new determination in his face. “He keeps every letter, every note, anything at all that could ever be used in evidence. Kensa, is he in contact with anyone in Helston?”
“Birds fly back and forth every day,” says Kensa, which I assume means “yes” in cryptic dragon.
“Then we can find their correspondence,” Edwyn assures us. “Real, tangible evidence that you can take to the palace.”
Willow sits up anxiously. “What about you?”
Edwyn’s gaze drops. “I…cannot go back to Helston. Nor can I leave Elowen. We stay together.”
“Even with Peran here?” I ask.
He nods. “Yes. I’m not…I am afraid of Father. But it’s different. I am different. I don’t want to run away anymore. I don’t want to be invisible or silent. It wasn’t right, what they did to me, and I am not going to let my fear silence me anymore.” He rises stiffly and makes a deep bow before Willow. “I stand with you. I fight for you. My life and my sword are yours, Highness.”
Willow’s blush is blazing as he shifts awkwardly. “Not really a Highness anymore, am I?”
“Yeah, you are.” I elbow him in the side with a grin. “Even if it’s for our own, new realm.”
“Our own…” Willow brightens. “I like that! Our own world. A better world…That’s something worth fighting for, isn’t it?”
It’s weird to feel so good, so alive in the wake of the worst news we could’ve possibly received. But we have direction now. Purpose. And the path forward may be perilous, but we couldn’t be more prepared.
“Me too. I’m in too.” Teo stands a little apart from us, xir own fire small but blazing in xir eyes. “I want to fight for my family too. For Dumoor. For what Dumoor is supposed to be. I’m already a part of it,” xe says when Kensa starts to argue. “And I haven’t taken the mark yet. I am free, and I can do what you can’t, Kensa. I can help. I can fight.”
I catch Willow’s eye and he’s thinking the same thought: It would be no bad thing to have a dragon on our side.
“Besides, you’ll need to get to Helston fast. I can do that.”
And just as if xe’d orchestrated this perfect moment, Teo tugs off xir tunic, wriggles xir shoulders, and…spreads xir wings.
Willow’s voice is pure joy. “They came in!”
“Just today.” Teo gives a twirl, showing them off in all their glory.
The wings are translucent, the bones giving them their shape visible beneath thin blue skin. When Teo gives the wings an experimental flap, I expect them to tear. They look just about as strong as wet paper.
I school my face into something less disappointed as Teo turns back, flushed with pride. “Can you…fly on them?”
Teo gives them another experimental flap. “I haven’t tried yet, but probably.”
“No,” says Kensa. “You cannot. Nor can you try before they are fully formed. If you work them too hard too quickly, you will damage them permanently. Final transformation cannot be rushed.”
It’s embarrassing how relieved I am. If Teo tried to fly with me and Willow on those things, we would crash and die. Period.
