Crow: Soulless Bastards MC So Cal, page 8
“I found some dresses.” That voice comes back. I pull my finger away from Lyric and she gasps. I reach over the door and wait for the dresses.
“Sir, this is a women’s fitting room,” she reminds me like I give a shit.
“Yeah, she needs help though. She can’t be trusted alone,” I say grabbing the dresses. Pulling them back over the door, I can hear her shoes clicking as she walks away.
“Thank fuck I didn’t have to fight her,” I mumble. Lyric is in the same position that she was in when I left her on the edge of her orgasm. “What’s wrong, baby?” She stands up straight and spins to look at me. I can see just how flushed she is. It makes me hard but she will learn to stop talking down about herself. I can’t stand that shit.
“That’s wrong.” She points at me but I just smile.
“Try this on.” I pass her a dress. Lyric takes it but looks pissy. I can’t help but chuckle at her.
“Why do I need two anyway?”
I watch her pull her shirt over her head. Reaching down I adjust my dick in my jeans. That fucker is grinding painfully against the zipper.
“I hope that hurts,” she says nodding toward my dick.
“It won’t be later,” I reply. I watch her pull the purple dress on and my heart nearly stops. My mouth hangs open and air escapes my lungs.
“You are so fuckin’ gorgeous.” Lyric doesn’t look at me. She looks down at herself. I move to stand behind her, showing her herself in the mirror.
“Look,” I say when she doesn’t want to look up.
“Those long fuckin’ legs. Fuck.” I groan once more.
“Do you really think I’m pretty, Crow?”
Our eyes meet in the mirror. Mine full of lust, hers full of a painful past. A past that has made her see herself as fat and ugly not strong and beautiful.
“Have I ever lied to you, Lyric? Have I ever given you a reason to think you aren’t the most beautiful, sexy women in the world?” My question is honest. I want to know if I’ve ever made her feel bad about herself.
“No.”
“Then it’s the truth. I don’t think I’ve met anyone in my life who has captured me the way you do. It isn’t just your looks, baby. It’s your heart. Someone has stomped it into the ground but you picked it up and put it back together. Look at yourself, Lyric. Really look.” Her eyes roam over her body before she stares into the reflection of her own eyes. Slowly, her features soften as she gets a good look at herself.
“You always make me feel good about myself. How did I get so lucky to find you?” A tear slides down her cheek. Reaching around, I wipe it away before kissing her neck.
“I’m the lucky one. You have given me the best time of my life bein’ with me, Lyric. I never thought I’d have a reason to want to wake up another day. You do that to me.” Kissing her neck once more, she clears her throat and straightens her spine. I stand behind her, watching her in the mirror.
“I’m Lyric and I’m perfect,” she says melting my heart. A smile pulls across my face so big it scares me.
“That’s my girl!”
Chapter 20
“You never told me why I needed two dresses,” Lyric says as we make our way back to the clubhouse, our hands held tightly together.
“Oh, I didn’t?” I tease.
“Crow. You know you didn’t,” she says, bumping me with her shoulder.
“Two things, Lyric. One is gonna be harder for me but I feel like I need to do it with you. The other, it’s easy,” I tell her. She doesn’t get it but I like keeping her on edge.
“We’re goin’ out tonight. No motorcycle. No cut. No self-doubt. We are gonna have a great night, just me and you. Then I wanna take you somewhere special to me. You good with that?” I look over and her smile is huge.
“No cut? You mean you are dressing up?” she asks, making me laugh.
“Somethin’ like that. First we need to talk with Hawk. There’s somethin’ I need to take care of but I need you there to do it, yeah?” Her smile is gutting me. She holds so much power over me and she doesn’t even realize it.
“Ok. I’ll do anything you want if I can see you dressed up.” She laughs. Fuck, that laugh is the best thing I’ve ever heard in my life.
“Remember that later when I’m fuckin’ the songs right out of you.” We both laugh as we step inside. The clubhouse is pretty quiet but it is still early in the day. Not many are hanging out around here at this time. I walk us down the hallway and knock on Hawk’s door.
“Yeah, come in,” he hollers.
I take a deep breath preparing myself for what I’m about to do. I’ve thought it over. More times than I care to admit. I even talked it out with the guys. For the most part, they all agreed with me. A few didn’t, but who the fuck are they to decide what I do anyhow? I ignored their asses.
“Hey, Prez,” I say when we walk in. Hawk stands in front of his desk with a stack of papers in front of him.
“Come on up here,” he says waving his hand in the air at me. I pull Lyric up with me, standing in front of him.
“Now, you’re sure this is what you want to do?” he asks looking me in the eyes. I nod my head, squeezing Lyric’s hand tighter.
“Goddamn right,” I tell him.
“What’s going on?” Lyric asks looking between the two of us.
“His will. Crow wants everything he has to go to you in the event of his death,” Hawk says solemnly.
Lyric instantly pulls her hand away from me. Her gaze is unfocused as she looks around the room. When she starts toward the door, I move quickly and grab her.
“Don’t do this shit now, Crow! Why now?” she asks, her eyes slowly losing their glow.
“I need to know that it’s in place. I’m not goin’ to die today, Lyric, but I want this ready.” She shakes her head before looking at Hawk.
“Tell him this is stupid! Tell him no!” she snaps. I look over my shoulder at Hawk but he just shrugs.
“Crow thinks it’s for the best. I agree with him. When you live like we do, you never know when the end might come. He wants his shit in place, I can’t blame him there.” I grin at him. At least he has my back on this one.
“Fuck that! I’m not signing shit.” Lyric crosses her arms over her chest and glares at me. Defiant. Yeah, that’s her alright.
“Have you learned nothin’ from that dressin’ room?” I ask her mimicking her stance.
“What happened in the dressin’ room?” Hawk asks with a chuckle, but neither of us answer him.
“Do this for me, Lyric. I need you to be taken care of. I need to know that I have this in place. I didn’t say I was dyin’ tomorrow, darlin’. Just please do this for me. I love you. You know that,” I plead with her. Slowly her arms fall to her sides. She gives me a nasty look before walking past me and back to the desk. Grabbing a pen, she looks to Hawk. He points out where she needs to sign and I watch her with pride as she does it. Once she’s done, she slams the pen onto the desk.
“Happy now?” she snaps at me. I nod my head, grab her arm and pull her into my chest.
“Thank you. It really settles somethin’ in me to know that you will be taken care of. I love you,” I whisper against her lips.
“I love you too, Crow. More than you know.”
“Go get ready. Told you we’re goin’ out. I need to talk a few things over with Hawk.” I kiss her quickly and give her a little push toward the door. She smiles at me but goes. Hearing the door click shut behind her, I blow out a breath.
“You sure about all this?” Hawk asks, his voice lowering. I know this is hard on everyone. We’ve been family for so long.
“It’s right. It feels right. You know, I’ve spent so many years just tryin’ to figure out where I needed to be.” Shaking my head, I run my hand over my scalp. “Every year felt like the last, you know? I wanted it to be the last, but then somethin’ kept me from doin’ it every goddamn time. Then Lyric was sittin’ in that fuckin’ warehouse. She looked so hurt and pained. It fuckin’ gutted me that there was someone else out there that felt even the tiniest bit of what I did. When I looked in her eyes, I lost it. The will just left my body.”
“Does that mean you’re rethinkin’ it all? Maybe start the chemo?” Hawk asks.
“No. That’s the thing, brother. She makes it all the more real. I miss Gabe, brother. I miss my son. So much that it kills me inside. Seein’ her smile though, fuck! I want that for her. I want her to have whatever she’s always dreamt of. My heart feels full and so does my life when I see her smile.”
Hawk nods his head. “I get it. You might not think so, but I do. Just remember her, Crow. Let her be the one who takes you through each day. See where things go before you just check out. You deserve that much. I’ve known you since you were fuckin’ ten, brother. You’re like a son to me and losin’ you is gonna hit me just as hard. You know that! Think about it, yeah? The paperwork is all in order, just think about it.” Hawk walks around the table and pulls me into a hug.
“I will. I’ll think about it, brother.” Hawk pulls back and nods. I take that as my cue that we’re done here. I turn on my heel and head out of his office. As I make my way down the hallway, I stop and look at the pictures hung on the wall. All the brothers who have died before me. Every one of them had a place here. They still do.
“I’m gonna be up there sooner than they all think,” I grumble to myself. I take a deep breath and head out of the clubhouse ready to shower and get my night with Lyric started. As much as I love the club life, this life isn’t entirely Lyric’s. She’s grown to love it here, she’s told me time and time again, but she isn’t your typical old lady. She’s mine, that much is for damn sure, but this world isn’t hers. I want to take her out and show her just how much I love her. How much she means to me. I want her to have at least one normal night without club business or my health getting in the way of it.
Chapter 21
I showered quickly and got dressed. Lyric was in the bedroom getting dressed when I got back. I can’t wait to spend a simple night out with her. She deserves so much more than me, but I want her to have a good time and will do anything to make that happen. I look at myself in the mirror and I barely recognize myself anymore. It isn’t just the shaved head either. It’s my whole being. Nothing seems normal about me anymore. My heart still beats, but I don’t feel alive, not in the sense that I should.
“Crow?” A soft knock and her voice drifts through the room.
“Yeah. I’m comin’,” I tell her. I blow out a breath and reach for the door knob. Turning it slowly, I pull it open and my heart leaps. Lyric stands there looking like a movie star. She’s gorgeous. I’ve never seen anything like her. I gasp before I step into her space, wrapping my arms around her waist.
“You have to be the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” I press a kiss to her neck, her body trembling in my grasp.
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” she whispers. I pull back and look her up and down. That purple dress was the best fucking choice I’ve ever made.
“You like it?” Lyric says before twirling around. My chest tightens. I can’t imagine anything looking as good as she does right now.
“I like it so much I’m debatin’ takin’ you out. I might keep you all to myself.” I groan as my dick hardens in my pants. Lyric giggles before kissing my cheek.
“Not a chance. You got me all dressed up and now I want to go. Where are we going anyway?” she asks. I grin and take her hand in mine, leading her down the hallway.
“Why are you askin’ so many questions? I said I’m takin’ you out. On a date.” Even the words sound so foreign to me. I have never dated. Not since I was a kid, and even then, it wasn’t a real date. Lyric tenses and stops right in front of the door.
“What is it?”
“I’ve never been on a date, Crow.” If my heart could break any further, it just did. Hearing those words leave her mouth hurt me.
“If we’re bein’ honest, I’ve never dated either. I’ve always fucked and walked. I guess we are doin’ all kinds of first things huh?” I ask her. Lyric’s eyes find mine, a soft smile curling her lips. I lean down and capture them in the perfect kiss. When I pull away, she smiles at me.
“I guess we are. I don’t know how to thank you, Crow. You do so much for me,” she says. She doesn’t know how much her words mean to me.
“Bein’ with you calms me, Lyric. It makes everything feel like it’s goin’ to be okay. You’re my stone. The rock that holds me down and centers me.” Tears fill her blue eyes making me smile. Reaching up, I wipe them away with my thumbs.
“No cryin’. Remember? It’s a good night.” Lyric nods her head, straightening her spine.
As I lead her out to the truck, so many things weigh on me. The shit with the Ancients. Shit with myself. Leaving Lyric doesn’t sit high on my priority list. I don’t want to leave her. I don’t want to let her down either, but there is a hollow spot inside of me that will never be filled unless I’m with my son. Despite that, being with Lyric heals a part of me. Holding her in my arms gives me something real. It gives me hope that there are brighter days out there and not just the dark loneliness that I’ve always felt. Maybe the guys were right. Maybe I should give this a chance with her. Who the hell knows? Maybe I will stick around a little longer than I planned to.
“Where’d you go?” Lyric asks as I open the door for her.
“I was just thinkin’ about some shit the guys said,” I tell her as I hold her hand, helping her into the truck. When she’s settled in her seat, she grabs my face in her hands.
“What did they say?” she asks, her lips so close to mine.
“That I should stick around with you for a while. Think about my own plans, about who I might be hurtin’.” Lyric smiles, pressing her lips against mine as if she could read my mind. It’s like she knew I was rethinking it. Debating with myself.
“And you are going to, right?” she whispers against my lips. Shaking my head slightly, I wrap my hand around the back of her neck, keeping her close.
“I might just. That’d mean you’d be stuck with me a while. You think you can handle that?” I ask her. Lyric giggles and it’s like music to my ears.
“I think I can. Well, I guess that depends on how this whole date goes tonight. I’m nervous,” she says with a smile.
“Well, I plan on gettin’ that goodnight kiss,” I tease her. Lyric pulls away laughing.
“Just a kiss? Does that mean I get some sleep tonight?”
“When do I not let you sleep?” I ask pretending to be offended.
“Every night!” she squeals.
“Ok. I won’t touch you then. I’ll whisper dirty fuckin’ words in your ear all night. About how I wanted to lick your pussy until you explode on my tongue. Or how I wanna pull your hair and fuck you until you come screamin’.” Lyric’s body shivers and I laugh, stepping back. I close the door and walk around to my side.
“I win,” I say as I climb in and start up the truck.
Chapter 22
“I can’t believe you did all of this,” Lyric whispers as she looks around the beach. I had the prospects come out ahead of time and get things set up for me. I have to say the little fucks did a great job. The blanket is spread over the sand, the soft flicker of the candles in the moonlight. It’s goddamn perfect.
“Why not? You deserve it all, Lyric. I just wish I could give you more.” She gasps as I lead her to the blanket. I motion for her to sit before taking the spot next to her. Lyric beams with happiness. I watch as her hair blows slightly in the wind, pushing it into her face. Reaching over, I slowly brush it behind her ear.
“You’re beautiful.”
“So are you,” she says softly.
“I wanted to take you out. I wanted to let you see what it’s like to have someone care about you. I care, Lyric. Probably more than I should. You mean a lot to me. It all happened in such a short amount of time. You threw me off my game, but I love that about you. You force me to rethink everything.” Being honest with her isn’t a hard thing to do. She makes it easy. I think that’s why I fell for her so quickly. Lyric is one of those people that make you want to open up to them. They give you so much strength that they don’t even realize they are doing it.
“You’re pretty great yourself, Crow. You didn’t look at my weight; you looked at me like a person. There aren’t many guys out there that do that you know?”
I know it all too well. I’ve seen it all first hand and especially with her but I’ve also seen her grow into a strong woman.
“The thing is, not all people realize what they’re missin’ when they do that shit. They don’t realize that there is somethin’ fuckin’ special inside here,” I say as I place my hand on her heart. Tears slip down her cheeks, but I’m not done yet. “Your size means nothin’ when your heart is as big as it is. You have more strength in you than you even know. Lyric, you’ve shown me another side of myself that I didn’t even know was in there. All I wanna do is give you the world.” A sob catches in her throat. Lyric climbs to her knees, scooting closer to me. Her arms wrap around my neck as she cries. I can only hope they are happy tears. Slipping my arms around her waist, I hold her against me.
“You have to know all that’s true, baby,” I whisper into her neck. Pressing a kiss to her soft skin, she pulls back, grabbing my face in her hands.
“You mean everything to me, Crow. From that first day in the warehouse. I always knew there was something different about you. There was more than anyone else could see. You were so sad but there was a spark in you. I saw it. I thought about you all that day. When I saw you in that diner, I didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t want you to go. I’m glad that you asked me to go for a ride with you. So much has changed in my life and it’s all because of you. I always looked at myself as nothing. I was always told I was nothing, but you make me feel so damn special. I’ve never felt this way before.”
God, she means everything to me. I kiss her roughly, not letting even a breath of air get between us. As I hold her tightly, enjoying the warmth of her, I find myself wondering if this is what real love feels like. If this is what God wants from everyone. A love like this couldn’t come twice in a lifetime. At least not for me but for her? I think that once she gets herself to where she needs to be, she can find anything. She can do anything. Lyric has an old spirit that deserves so much more than she has.
